Drag Them, Queen

Lucky discusses her brush with TSA post 9/11 and how she ended up on a watch list that she can’t seem to get off. She also got detained in Chicago while in costume and drinking on the street, which is something you apparently can’t do. Lucky breaks down her college relationship that was extremely toxic and the crazy things he did to get her attention. She also talks about evacuating with her fiancé to his family’s home in Oklahoma after the hurricane. Let’s just say lots of people have opinions on Lucky’s personality and her “anger issues,” but she has no intention of fixing anything. “Volunteering is for suckers.” 

Sarah and Money sit down together for the first time in a while, and they catch up after Hurricane Ida. Sarah talks about how dumb she was for staying in Nola during the hurricane and how she thought she was going to die in the middle of the night. She discusses her struggles post-storm, including no electricity and leaving for Orange Beach with her boo. Money assures Sarah that she will never settle down if she can’t cohabitate, and she reminds Sarah she’s not getting any younger. Ouch! Sarah evacuates to Money’s house where the ladies get drunk, and Money tells stories about the neighbors across the street who hid a woman who was on the run from the law! Just another day, folks. 

Sarah and Money gather their thoughts after a few weeks apart. Sarah realizes she’s poor after being laid off the week before, and she can’t even afford to drink alcohol. To lift her spirits, Sarah’s guy friend brought her to Colette’s sex club in the French Quarter. No sex was had by them, but Sarah realizes she’s into voyeurism. Money and Sarah discuss the most recent Facebook blast by a woman who caught her boyfriend cheating…with his fiancé and almost 9 other women. The audacity of this man! Sarah brings up an older man that lives in her building who has a triflin’ ass girlfriend. Money talks about being shadowbanned on Instagram and keepin’ it real – #baldbitch. 

Sarah sits down with Riga Ruby aka Jeanette the Genie aka Christie from uptown. Riga is a local comedian and actress who is dominating social media with her slew of characters with unconventional personalities. The ladies bond over their love of Scorpios and their angst toward Leos. Riga discusses the city and the gentrification that inspired most of her characters. She breaks down a date in 2006 with a Nigerian man whose car broke down and decided it was a good idea to put in a porno, versus another Nigerian man whose dick was so small, she couldn’t feel it. “I want a stroke, not a poke!” This one is a wild ride!

Sarah sits down with the ultimate queen, Trixie Minx. She discusses her early years in ballet and how an ankle injury led her to her destined path of burlesque. Post Katrina, Trixie recalls trying on tassels in a hotel bathroom in Mississippi and coming back to Nola for her first show. Trixie tells the story of the dancer who needed silver panties but ended up using crusty, floor panties, and she relives the worst date she’s ever been on. Since covid, Trixie has had to adapt with her shows and deal with internet trolls who don’t like her masking rules. It’s a panoramic! Don’t forget “cream rises to the top,” so mind ya business and be your best self. 

Sarah and Lo discuss their latest cringe-worthy dating series. Lo talks about meeting up with her ex-boyfriend from college, who was married at the time they were together. Fifteen years and one naked massage later, his recent ex-girlfriend showed up to their date. So, at a casino in Baton Rouge, names were called, and security had to escort someone out. Peppa Pig better watch herself! Lo recalls the text she sent her ex after she got home, and he completely ignored her, even after saying, “I’m not ignoring you.” Sarah discusses her most recent relationship, which is now over. She recounts events from the last 2 months and the emotional connection that never was. 

Sarah sits down with “Lucky,” and they retell the infamous NYE 2019 story. There was MDMA, vodka sodas, a stupid bitch, almost a fight, and then everyone got naked. Sarah recently found out that she got a piggyback ride back to her apartment that night completely topless. Lucky recalls the men she’s dated, including Joe, who loves giving and receiving golden showers, when he’s not being a complete asshole impregnating women on the side. Then there was CJ, who was the worst of the worst, always contacting Lucky in between and sometimes during relationships. Bartenders are so trustworthy! Lucky discusses her polyamorous relationship and when she attended a sex party. This one is a doozy! 

Sarah sits down with her lady gay, Jordan. Not only is she a hot ass lesbian, Jordan is also the most down-to-earth bitch there is. She explains her first experience with a girl at the age of 15, who later became her girlfriend. The stereotype that lesbians move in together or get in a relationship quickly is spot on, and Jordan discusses her newest love interest; they met at Pensacola pride, and Jordan found herself a straight girl who seems to be sticking, in a good way. Sarah and Jordan talk about dating apps and how bleak the dating pool is in Louisiana. They dissect the concept of lesbian porn and why straight women love to watch it. Bring the U-Haul because it’s getting serious!  

Money is back to set our asses straight, but in the meantime, Sarah recounts her night away from her dog where she was without her sleep machine, medication, and a giant roach jumped out at her. Then she talks about her near-death experience doing a back handspring on the trampoline after drinking a margarita. Think Death Becomes Her staircase scene. Money examines her Mardi Gras krewe drama where she had to tell a woman about herself. Don’t mess with her mama! The ladies start a new bit, and Money will probably get cancelled because of raccoon story. 

Sarah sits down with her neighbor and actress, Lauren Murray. As they drink Trulys, Lauren discusses her career in print, commercial, movies, and her spiritual journey as a chanting Buddhist. Besides ducking past-life boyfriends, Lauren has moved on to dating apps and stalking on LinkedIn. Being ghosted is a trend between Sarah and Lauren, and they agree it’s a weak, pussy move. Lauren is looking for a unicorn with Big Dick Energy and a 401K, but in all actuality, the men are all divorced with 3-plus kids and no health insurance. The ladies get into cosplay, dominatrix, and cuckold requests after 7 dates. Can’t make this shit up!