This week on Dubland PJ is starting a new job so obviously everything is terrible. The Dublanders don't want to be negative Nellies, but somehow it might be happening anyway. Suzanne went on the Pat Kenny show to demonstrate the fact. She is joining PJ as a Covid Crank. Anyway, that's all the morbid stuff out of the way. Suzanne and PJ then go on to planning their funerals. The podcast should become a sort of document, which anyone who survives Suzanne and PJ should listen to when it comes to their rites etc. There's talk about organs and "he would have loved this", and of course PJ's unique burial plans. PJ would also like more elbows thank you very much. Oh and he's like to discuss that square flap in the back of old timey pajamas. There's also the inaugural "We Can't Fix Your Life" in which Suzanne and PJ answer your questions!

It's Dubland, go and enjoy it.

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Dubland drops this week with middle aged men in cycling high heels which isn't enough to lighten PJ's form, he's having a mare of a week. There's more talk of PJ's finances with Eoin McGee and just a touch of light defamation. He's giving up on getting a house, but Suzanne isn't ready to give up on him getting a house, so she starts pitching TV shows based on the topic, and dating shows, and the merging of the two. Which leads to discussion about First Dates and PJ's history of dating dead women. We get the romantic genesis of Suzanne and Joey's relationship, so PJ gives us his break up process and cycles of torment. The burning question of whether he deserves love or should be given an adult orphan rages through the episode, all including a very PJ conclusion. We learn that we're all into weird things and that sex is New Year's Eve. There's the great battle of the toaster steak VS. the pergola. And loads more!

There's also loads of great bonus episodes for members now. You'll hear about the ten meals in a day challenge, some listener reviews, the Boxing Story retold, some Would You Rather questions and loads more coming, support the show by becoming a member here!

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Straight into the action this week on Dubland with pie charts, right angles, pizza and the globally diminishing ability to be able to tell the time. St. Anthony is on the lookout for Suzanne's AirPods and PJ tells us about his waxy ears and burning "water" in a list of pains and grievances that Suzanne, the mother of three, wouldn't understand. PJ is going to get into a helicopter with a pilot who loves golf jumpers and is convinced PJ is someone other than PJ. Suzanne discovers micro-happiness and tells us about it by explaining her anger and making everyone furious in the process. She was, however, giddy with her McDonald's in bed and titillating pornographic Whatsapp chats with her pals. PJ's mortgage woes rear their head again while Suzanne talks about buys spare homes. There's a hero of the week and Suzanne doing some of PJ's life admin. There are golf bats, Bitcoin and loads more. It's Dubland, what do you expect?

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Dubland begins this week with a slightly more conventional plug for HeadStuff+ (the new membership platform on which you can become a member and support this podcast!) Then it gets down to more conventional Dubland topics, if the word conventional could ever be associated with this podcast. They talk about mass collections and PJ as an altar boy who was in it for the cash. There's Dead Dad Day which is an annual thing for Suzanne. Giving stuff up for Lent and the various cheats people use for those difficult 40 days. A vicious argument over whether UK chocolate and Irish chocolate are the same (results to be announced on a future episode) - Easter Egg chocolate makes an appearance here too. Suzanne breaks down the three possible catalysts for her "hormotional" state and asks the unwilling PJ to help diagnose her. There's some vaccine rollout talk and the return of PJ's victorious Stockdale position. There's a four year old who last week was like an old man, and now has anxiety. There's Valentine's Day talk and (you might want to skip this bit) PJ's potatoey throat hair.

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Dubland is back! And now you can support the show by becoming a member of HeadStuff+, just go to HeadStuffPodcasts.com/register and choose Dubland as the show to support, this will help us keep making the show and get better and better! In the meantime, this episode is as chaotic as you'd like for a return to Dubland. Prodcuer Alan asks them to plug HeadStuff+ at the top, which leads Suzanne and PJ to talking about Sweet Valley High for about ten minutes. Of course. Then Suzanne gets out of the religious commune she was apparently living in all this time as she discovers there is porn on the internet. There is romantic porn and the revelation that hair is bad manners. Suzanne's family has grown since the last episode and now her life is all minecraft, barbies and her daughter as an old man. Luckily PJ has some homeschooling tips for her. They talk about Covid Christmas - PJ's best Christmas ever. Suzanne's midwife talks about PJ during the main event. There's an Animal Fact and PJ sees a cow for the first time (it surprises him), look it's Dubland, it doesn't always have to make sense - get it #inurears.

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PJ cut his own hair. They talk about auditions and never getting a call from your agent, sure don't we all know? We all love Deirdre O'Kane (not Suzanne's aunt). Do you know anything about the Turkmenistan President? We learn a bit more about Suzanne's kids and the differences between them. From temper tantrums to list of gifts to conscription lists. PJ gets two presents, one he's the delighted with, the other invokes a glorious underwhelmed reaction. There's talk about palettes, whiskey, wine and cucumber. Conversation swings back around to talking about nightshirts for men, of course. An update on PJ's learning of Spanish. The vaccines are coming, we're happy about it, even himself, right? PJ the babysitter gives us some tips and tricks on how to make the kids behave. Also, lessons on the polite way to obtain something you want. It's all here, it's all Dubland, and that's your lot for 2020. Herself is off to make a human, and sure then it'll be Christmas, so we'll see you in the New Year! Good luck!

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Dubland is back with more talk of fancy foods, Branston Pickles and Braxton Hicks. Suzanne's house is a building site and PJ still has a leaky roof (for new listeners this is going on for years).  Suzanne is a crank, but she has good reason, which she lists, and PJ can't believe it, especially the sports related size comparison. He really learns a lot in this episode. He genuinely might be a new man after this episode. So there's a lot of talk about the pregnancy and babies and stuff. But then PJ brings in his big news of the week, it involves Brussel Sprouts. The episode also involves Nighties and Oodies. We have Celtic pig wrestlers to blame for the misery of pants that affects the modern man. We also get some Animal Facts, which is a welcome segment to return to the podcast! Oh and go buy a t-shirt.

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Suzanne bursts PJ's bubble at the beginning of this episode by chastising him about the mortgage stuff. PJ is very upset, he's finished all the books so now he's learning Spanish. He's freaked out though because he discovered that the Argentinians are making a TV show about him. Suzanne is freaked out by the new PJ, she's really pregnant and all of this just doesn't feel real to her. He's even teaching people English. Phil the DPD driver makes an appearance and we learn a bit about Dunnes and Penny's. We should be shopping local... but what about Pumpkins? They talk about Halloween, which will be difficult this year, but PJ is excited all the same, even if he doesn't understand what the kids are dressing up as. Suzanne wonders if you should be sexy or scary? She runs through some of the classic costumes of her youth. PJ invokes a friend of his to illustrate how to make a few quid go a long way. Which leads to a conversation about the value around razor blades. The Twilight Zone is back, PJ is watching a lot of horror films, Suzanne isn't convinced. Hocus Pocus aside. There's an email from a listener - look! It's Dubland! Get on it and enjoy the feckin' thing. Oh and go buy a t-shirt.

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Suzanne gives PJ a present because he was texting her about the end of the world. He drowned his sorrows in all the whisky. Suzanne is cranky, fed up with people. Phil the DPD driver is the only good one left. PJ was involved in a car crash. We learn about teaspoon fulls of babies. And, related, we learn about vasectomies. PJ's pal gives the doctor the wrong sample. Men are a much simpler system. People are pass-remarkable about Suzanne's belly.  There's talk about family and adoption and all sorts of stuff, sure look, it's Dubland, get it #inurears. 

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Dubland is back and back to talking about poor old Paul Mescal's biology. Suzanne also makes an ethical defence for preventing a portion of society from accessing healthcare. There's the latest turn in Dubland's on point reaction to Covid-19. Suzanne gets a Covid test, it's great fun, although, she must reiterate, she didn't need one. PJ is incredulous at the description of the test. PJ compares pregnancy to a banned extreme sport. There's a ken doll. PJ tells us about the skip he hired and the improvement in the house thereafter. Leaks are literally impossible to fix so PJ has to shower with a plumber. There's some classic PJ about half an hour in. There are new rules for what goodies kids are allowed to eat. It's interesting. Suzanne is bringing her kids up to be Evian drinking Divas, and the grannies are no help. There's a bit about sports books, and running and sore body parts. It's Dubland! Be Grand.

Go buy a t-shirt and enjoy Dubland.

This episode is sponsored by The UX Design Institute.

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