Duck Call Room

Martin’s twins fall head over heels for a beaver they name “Crunchy,” and their newfound affection accidentally saves his life—for now. Clay blushes when the boys bring up his brief “modeling career” and the front-and-center posters featuring him at sporting goods stores across the country. John-David and his cousin-slash-best-friend Heath have a race, though the whole thing sounds a little pathetic. Martin recalls the time he got his hair beaded and braided on a cruise, but what stands out most is just how horribly it all went wrong. The boys wrap things up by debating the sanity—and practicality—of deep-fried pizza.

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A kind listener returns a family heirloom to Uncle Si, and the boys join him on a trip down memory lane to see photos of Si, Phil, and Miss Kay as teenagers. Martin is floored by reports of “infected” monkeys on the loose in Mississippi after a transport crash, and Rucker sparks a debate about whether everyone is living in a simulation—though there may be proof to the contrary right in the room. Meanwhile, John-David lives that good-dad life, spending hours helping his son, Carter, perfect his role in the upcoming school play.

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Uncle Si insists he’s discovered the secret to staying “well-preserved,” and Martin thinks he’s finally figured it out. Jacob swears Si’s wardrobe belongs in a vintage boutique, while John-David brings back another unbelievable shoplifting story that somehow ends on a surprisingly uplifting note. Plus, the boys discover a bear coat that could make them fashion legends for the “low” price of $500.

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Uncle Si debuts his brand-new smile after finally taking Phil Robertson’s advice to get new teeth. Phillip’s jaw dropped when Si proudly pulled out the container holding his old teeth on the drive home from the procedure, and Martin relives a disastrous post-dentist hunt that left him regretting every move. John-David fuels everyone’s nightmares with his disturbing discovery of teddy bears sewn with human teeth. The boys bow for a powerful moment when Si phones a young fan battling cancer and prays for him, lifting him up to the Almighty.

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Uncle Si answers fan questions from his DMs, and things quickly go off the rails. Martin opens a whole new world of “what-the-heck” with his knowledge of pet implants meant to make animals seem more “manly.” John-David resurrects the fart heard ’round the world from three years ago, and Hunter’s Christian heavy-metal impression sends the crew into a tailspin of laughter and awe. Plus, a puppy crash-lands the set and immediately bonds with Si’s beard.

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Uncle Si learns about Australia’s infamous “emu war” and can’t believe a country actually lost a battle to birds. The boys dive into a crash course on platypuses, while Hunter’s the only one brave enough to fact-check Si’s new favorite animal. Jacob shares his epic Canada hunt with his 82-year-old grandpa, and a listener's email delivers a shocking prophecy that Martin might be destined for another set of twins. John-David drops the news that a mountain lion became roadkill not too far from West Monroe. Martin’s boys turn three, but their birthday weekend ends with a pumpkin-patch chipped tooth and a reminder that parenting twins means double the fun.

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Uncle Si welcomes comedian Tim Hawkins to Louisiana with a crash course in culture, gators, local game, and his band’s original songs. Si’s tales of high school glory have Tim cracking up, and John-David and Tim bond instantly over high-end toilet tech as they officially found the Bidet Bros. Martin stuns Tim by revealing his grandma’s unforgettable system for labeling squirrels in the family freezer. The boys and Tim all agree that Buc-ee’s is basically a church.

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Uncle Si falls hook, line, and sinker for a fake news story about a man escaping police on a giraffe, then somehow ends up online shopping for one. Martin discovers a museum that has Si dreaming of silk quilts. John-David and Hunter lose it over an animal name that sounds just naughty enough to send them straight back into middle-school humor. Godwin tries to remember the last time he wore pants, and the boys float the idea of naming a bridge after Uncle Si in West Monroe.

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Uncle Si’s wife, Miss Christine, relives the night she knew Si needed serious help and rushed him to the ER. True to form, Si was cracking jokes before the nurses even hooked him up to an IV. Si calls her a cougar since she’s older than him and “has claws,” but Christine sets the record straight on that story. Together they dish out the marriage and parenting wisdom they’ve learned in nearly fifty-five years together, while Phillip compares their old-school romance to Gen Z’s puzzling dating habits. John-David vents about the phrases and hand gestures his kids won’t stop using, and Christine shares the heartfelt story of Sweet Pea’s final days.

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Uncle Si is alive and well after a brief hospital stay, and Phillip was there to witness just how tough Si was when he woke up in a pool of blood one night. Martin declares that Si has officially reached Robertson family legend status, while John-David takes the death of Si’s beloved cat, Sweet Pea, pretty hard. Martin proclaims that squirrels are, in fact, NOT cute, and Si proposes a plan to whip Congress back into shape.

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