Duct Tape Theory

With the 2022 Women's WSL dream tour just around the corner, we're having a little fun by considering possible upsets and bold predictions. And who doesn't love imagining silly hypotheticals?

But the real question is, will Carissa Moore be able to reclaim her throne? She's been the standard for so many years, but with the talent that's out there right now, it's anyone's game.

Welcome to the greatest show on earth!

With Pipeline just around the corner, we are having a dig at possible upsets, bold predictions and silly hypotheticals for the 2022 Men's WSL dream tour.

Kelly Slater is the greatest surfer of all time. Period. 11 world titles, 55 career victories, a hot flaming romance with Pamela Anderson in the 90s should be enough evidence to back up our claim. 

Really, this description should be less than three sentences, but this wouldn't be the Duct Tape Theory if we wouldn't make this much longer, much more irrelevant than it should be.

In our latest episode, we explore a few scenarios that might refute our claim earlier. A world without Kelly Slater. A tour with Robert Kelly Slater, all cashed up from his Baywatch success, watching from the comfort of his couch. Gabriel Medina is surfing until 50 years old. Kelly Slater, 69th (yes, we went there) President of the great US of A. Well, you should get the idea right now.We dedicated an hour-and-a-few-more-minutes to the greatest human ever to place board on water - the great Jimmy Slate!

Tune in, it's a fun one!

What ESPN has been attempting to do for the last 30 years, Duct Tape Theory did in a 90+ minute show. Tells you everything you need to know about where you should get your sports news from. 

 

The G.O.A.T debate is a topic that has been breaking headlines, marriages and friendships forever. Is it Jordan or Schumacher? What about Wayne Gretzky or Michael Phelps? Or what about the guy who won 500 squash games in a row? 

 

All valid candidates right?

 

Comparing athletes can be complicated and challenging, and who cares about it anyway, really? But just in case you do, in our latest episode, we discussed legitimate names, different sports and Lance Armstrong, yes, Lance Armstrong, in our G.O.A.T episode.

 

Also, Buzkashi, people! We claim it. It's the sport of all sports. The G.O.A.T of all G.O.A.Ts, kicking headless goats into a pit. Beautiful!

Howdy team.

Did you know that Martin Potter retired? Us neither! But, no one really seems to care that one of sports' worst commentators retired from throwing caution to the wind and more pizzazz. Joe Turpel is apparently not thrilled. He is currently looking for a new sidekick he can introduce as the "1989 world champ". The search continues.

Now, to retirements that matter. Many men and one lady ride into the sunset, leaving Elo's professional surfing behind for a brighter, more prosperous life. Some call it "retirement. Others call it a break. Other's are not sure yet what to call it. Happiness and sadness all wrapped up into one glorious tear-soaked episode of The Duct Tape Theory. 

Have the tissues ready as we're recycling some of our fondest memories of the silverback gorilla of the Brazilian Storm, Adriano de Souza, Bogan Sweetheart, Mikey Wright, Burleigh Heads street fighter, Jeremy Flores, 0.5 of surfing's power couple, Jack Freestone, Bronte, who?, Macaulay and while undecided, Australia's next prime minister Ace Buchan.

Breakups, sexism and the MFP (most forgettable person) are making an appearance in Episode 3 alongside why surfers run to the beach in an attempt to train for a marathon. 

This episode is sponsored by 1989 World Champ Martin Potter… Okay, just joking. Cause that would be silly.

We are back ya silly geese. Back with more unsolicited opinions on the world's most popular sport. Synchronized diving! Just joking. We are back with something way more silly. Today's episode is dedicated to the World Surf Leagues' attempt to make surfing great again in Kansas City, Karachi and Vienna. Or in short, to the non-surfing masses.

To harvest the fruits of Erik Logans' hard work to find his ego. Wait, no. We meant to turn surfing into football, the WSL rolled out a new format to determine surfing's world champions in a one-day tournament. We like. We love. We hate. We cry. We love Elo. We hate Elo. We heard everything (and much more) and will be discussing at length if surfing's playoffs were a success or just another faux pas added to the resumes of surfing's top executives.

Big surprises coming your way. Maybe.

People are silly for the most part.

But they are also smart, at least some of them. The latter ones told us, "you ain't doing this lockdown thingy right, if you A, don't buy a puppy, B, don't invest in an air fryer and C, start a Podcast.

0.5 out of this duo got one out of 1/3 right, while the other 0.5 did a solid 3/3, living it up during lockdown baby!

Anyway, we're getting sidetracked. We're also spiraling, but only because some of us are part of the world's largest prison system run by Scotty from Marketing and his career-women-wearing-suits and receding-hairline-poor-comb-over bunch of trust fund professionals turned politicians 

What a prison without the cuffs. Without the soaps, looks / feels / sounds like ya ask? We don't know for sure but will discuss lockdown 37.0 "Down Under" in full grace.

Also, Ice Cream makes an appearance. Well, more like the cone, which leads to the question, Are you more of a cone or cup kinda gal?

There's also a lot of shoulda, coulda, woulda regrets. And of course, there's this coronavirus we need to cover while we're at it. This and more. Lots more, we'll be shoving down your throat for the next 75-plus minutes - whether you like it or not.

 

But you'll like it. And if not, who cares.

 

But let's pretend you motherf'ing like it; Throw us a like. Throw us a follow. Throw us a few coins.

If ya don't like it; Throw us a few likes, follows and coins anyway.

 

Keep us in biz hereLove us, hold us, also here

 

God, we're spiraling again. Good thing, dinner is ready. Ice Cream in a cone.

Until next time you legends.

People said;

If you don't start a podcast or buy an air fryer during lockdown you are living this pandemic all wrong.

We did both...

 

Welcome to an irrelevantly relevant show hosting conversations about all sorts of crap that matters (or doesn't). Loosely based on, but not really...

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