The passing of Pope Francis managed to put the king's birthday birthday celebrations and Pieter Omtzigt's dramatic departure from politics in the shade this week. The coalition leaders emerged from a marathon negotiation session with a spring budget deal designed to please everyone except the taxpayers. Intelligence services accuse Iran of planning a botched assassination, Russia of sabotaging European elections and China of industrial espionage. And Belgian goalkeeper is the toast of Deventer as the Eagles swoop to a famous cup final victory.

An Easter egg scramble begins in The Hague as ministers try to grab a morsel of the €8 billion available in his spring budget statement. The Binnenhof's history as a medieval palace turns out to be even longer and richer than we suspected. Academics at Dutch universities face extra screening to prevent them stealing scientific knowledge, while students are warned about a rise in rent scams. Dutch badminton players fear for the future of the sport after its funding is slashed. And a coot's nest that became a treasure trove of Amsterdam trash is being moved to a museum in The Hague.

Once again Marjolein Faber confounds critics and partners alike with her bottomless talent for turning a storm in a teacup into a political maelstrom. Dick Schoof insists his cabinet is united behind his decision to clean up the mess caused by Faber's refusal to honour five volunteers for working with refugees. Elsewhere, a majority of MPs back a ban on street fireworks while prisons minister Ingrid Coenradie steers through her controversial early release scheme. The UK extends its electronic travel permit scheme to EU citizens. And we explain why the long-awaited legal cannabis growing scheme is at risk of being stubbed out before it can be rolled out.

This week it was the turn of the immigration service and the justice inspectorate to take Marjolein Faber to task over her unravelling immigration plans. Amsterdam is shocked as five people are stabbed in an apparently random attack near Dam Square. Travellers to the United States are warned about Donald Trump's backward shift on LBGT rights. PSV have to quarantine their new Spanish striker after the player is diagnosed with tuberculosis. And wolves, badgers and house cats are all blamed for wrecking the Netherlands' natural order.

Dick Schoof heads to Brussels for a defence spending summit with orders to pull the emergency brake on the Eurobonds train. Back in The Hague, the PVV holds its own prisons minister hostage over her plans to solve the overcrowding problem in jails. And the education minister wants to attract foreign talent to universities that are cutting down on international students and English-language classes. Intelligence agencies are pushing the boundaries by gathering information in secret for law enforcement agencies, watchdogs warn. The construction sector warns that housebuilding plans are being hamstrung by the nitrogen crisis. The skating season ends with a Dutch gold rush in Norway and Max Verstappen makes a splash as he starts his bid for a fifth Formula One world title in Melbourne.

The latest crisis to engulf Dick Schoof's cabinet sees three coalition parties vote against the prime minister on Europe's rearmament plan to support Ukraine. GroenLinks-PvdA speed up plans for a merger, almost as if they expect an early election. JA21 MP Joost Eerdmans, a PVV councillor and Groningen's former mayor all get into difficulty in their cars. The government wants to tighten up regulations on vaping while Amsterdam steps up restrictions on Airbnb. And while Dutch athletes sweep the board at the European Indoor Championships, one speed skater shoots himself in the foot ahead of the season finale.

There's no such thing as an unqualified success in Dick Schoof's coalition of the unwilling. The prime minister steers a €3.5bn aid package to Ukraine through parliament, but faces accusations of a stitch-up from Geert Wilders. Marjolein Faber's asylum plans are finally signed off in cabinet but are likely to meet stiff resistance in the Senate. Police investigate whether a devastating fire that destroyed some of the few historic buildings in Arnhem that survived the war was started deliberately. PSV suffer a historic drubbing in the Champions League in a bad werk for Dutch clubs, with the noble exception of AZ Alkmaar. And Utrecht's best known underwater doorbell goes online again for the breeding season.

Fish doorbell: www.visdeurbel.nl

An €8 billion windfall turns out to be a poisoned chalice for the cabinet as the coalition parties start scrambling for a piece of the pie. The four parties can't agree on how to mark the third anniversary of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, which is also the subject of Marjolein Faber's latest faux pas. More freelancers are going out of business and more couples are working part-time as changes to the tax system take effect. Schiedam is in shock as a 13-year-old boy is charged with stabbing another teenager to death. Go Ahead Eagles celebrate a historic win in the cup. And Dutch scientists fight back against a crayfish invasion by making the country even flatter.

The mission to realise the "strictest asylum policy ever" takes another twist as housing minister Mona Keijzer bans local councils from giving refugees priority housing while Marjolein Faber gives them a €30,000 incentive to do exactly that. Women's rights, higher education and Unicef are no longer relevant to the Dutch national interest, Reinette Klever declares as she slashes development aid funding. A cabinet crisis on Ukraine is averted when Geert Wilders waters down his opposition to sending more military aid. Two Dutch clubs claim big Italian scalps in the Champions League. And to the chagrin of the king, long queues are expected when 18 works by Rembrandt go on show as part of Amsterdam's 750th birthday celebrations.

The BBB is the latest coalition party to be plunged into crisis as an MP quits and the local party in its Overijssel heartland splits over "irreconcilable differences". The three face mask millionaires are told to pay back their ill-gotten gains in a judgment that is scathing of the health ministry's carefree attitude to spending public money. Brussels condemns the Dutch government's failure to tackle nitrogen pollution yet again, this time in the water supply. Marjolein Faber finally finds time to visit Ter Apel just as latest figures show asylum applications are coming down. And is the traditional Dutch dinner of meat, vegetables and potatoes being pushed to the back burner by spicy foreign dishes?