Text is from "Journey to Heaven: Counsels on the Particular Duties of Every Christian" by St. Tikhon of Zadonsk

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St. Tikhon writes:

The husband and wife must lay virtue, and not passion, as the foundation of their love, that is, when the husband sees any fault in his wife, he must nudge her meekly, and the wife must submit to her husband in this. Likewise when a wife sees some fault in her husband, she must exhort him, and he is obliged to hear her. In this manner their love will be faithful and unbroken, and thereby having mutually composed their happiness, they shall take pleasure in the virtue There is a custom that some men leave their wives and some wives leave their husbands under the pretense of abstinence, but this is a very dangerous matter, for instead of continence there may follow the grace sin of adultery in one or the other or in both parties. When the husband leaves his wife and the wife sins with another, then the husband is responsible for this sin, as he gave his wife occasion for sin. Likewise when a wife leaves her husband and the husband sins with another, then the wife is guilty of that sin, for the same reason.

A man must not treat his wife as a slave, but as a helpmate; but the wife ought to submit to her husband. As the Apostle teaches, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Eph. 5:22), and a little further, "And let the wife see that she reverence her husband" (v. 33), and in another place, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord" (Col. 3:18). When the husband and the wife are of the same character and of good morals then the marriage will be happy and excellent, for there will always be unanimity, agreement, and peace among them, in which consists great happiness. "Behold now, what is so good or so joyous as for brethren to dwell together in unity?" (Ps. 132:1), says the Prophet. But because Satan, the enemy of human souls, attempts to break the union of love and agreement, then the husband and wife must condescend to any infirmity that the other may have and suffer each other with love, and thus concord and peace will be preserved.

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