Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today’s guest is Preston Herdt, LMFTA. Our conversation centers around helping families respond to suicidal thoughts in their children (abbreviated as SI). All Aboard !

1:10 Preston tells us about how we got started working with youth with SI.

4:00 Preston describes from the beginning that he helps parents "show up the best way they can with their children." He is listening for the emotional pain that is under the suicidal ideation.

5:30 Kathryn and Preston describe that SI in your child can be experienced as "uh oh!" moment by parents, and then the parents' fears are activated and the parent can go on high alarm.

9:50 Preston walks us through the general process of supporting parents, assessing the child and making appropriate referrals.

11:45. Preston describes having an emergency preparedness or safety plan for youth who have a history of suicidal ideation.

13:35 Kathryn and Preston discuss helping parents to assess accurately if this alarm is truly reduced and educating parents about the specific warning signs for their child.

14:40 Preston explores common fears that parents have and how their fears are connected to their attempt to understand if the risk has been reduced: 

19:00. Preston emphasizes the EFFT therapist needs to build a working alliance and trust with the whole family, and that the whole family, not just the child/youth, need support and stabilization.

21:15 Kathryn and Preston describe the different family experience between an externalizing child and an internalizing child.

25:30 Kathryn describes the importance of exploring a child's need such as having someone who is willing to explore and tolerate "the darkness". Kathryn uses the metaphor of a basement.

28:50 Preston describes the importance of the felt sense of emotional safety that a child feels in the therapy room that fosters the child's willingness to explore their own basement of darkness with a stronger, wiser, other person.

29:30 Kathryn and Preston explore that youth who are having SI really want to talk that "darkenss" out with someone. While that can be scary for others, Preston reassures families that talking about is helpful, and he dispels a common myth.

34:30. Kathryn makes explicit that Preston's approach to the assessment and safety planning process is in itself therapeutic.

38:05. Kathryn summarizes key elements of Preston's approach including slowing down the pace, focusing on the goal of de-escalation, being a firm stable presence, and seeking to understand.

Thank you for listening! 

Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.

You can follow Kathryn de Bruin

Facebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   Website

You can follow Ronda Evans

Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

You can follow Preston 

Email: [email protected]

Website

Psychology Today Profile 

Instagram: therapywith_ph

Facebook: Preston Herdt Therapy