Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today’s guest Norma Brito de la Cuesta from Costa Rica. Norma has a masters degree, and she has a vast history of experience in the field of psychology, and she is a practicing family therapist.

All Aboard !

0:55. Norma talks about her vast experience in the field of psychology. 

2:30. From all of her years of experience, Norma's #1 recommendation is to explore deeply with every family about the beliefs and values that guide a family. Norma cautions about implicit bias in the clinicians about what guides or organizes a family.

8:50. Norma describes how to validate what the parent/family brings up at the beginning of family therapy to then be able to ask relevant family-focused assessment questions. She describes that the clinician can say "I want to really understand you as a family, how you think, how you came to be the family that you are. I need to understand deeply who you are and this is coming from a respectful place in me. And so I have some specific questions to ask about."

10:35. Assessment subtopic #1: Parent/Caregiver Goals particularly around the spectrum of independence/autonomy to dependence. What are the hopes and dreams that parents have for their child(ren). Then partners have children and partners may bring the hopes and dreams of their parents/family of origin to their nuclear family. The question becomes "what is better?" 

13:00. Norma explains how the parent/caregiver fears interfere with the respect that kids need to live their own lives and the way the kid wants to live their own life.

15:15. Norma and Kathryn address how there is a generational shift in the younger generations who are empowered with their voice, they ask questions, and they express their opinions, and parents/caregivers need to respect that. Norma cautions that by continuing to setting limits on the kid and discouraging kids from their natural way of asking questions and expressing their opinion then they won't grow in their autonomy and self-responsibility for their life.

16:30. Assessment subtopic #2: Discipline. Parenting with love, support and limits. Norma and Kathryn discuss the interrelatedness of discipline and the purpose/function of discipline. Discipline is to protect the kids; discipline is not just to limit/limitations on the child. Parenting with love, support and limits creates structure and security for the growing child and provides a model of guidance.

21:50. Assessment subtopic #3: Communication. Norma explains how the parent needs to lead with listening and understanding why their child is sharing about a certain topic, and needs to hold their personal reaction or opinion for later. Kathryn and Norma have a discussion about the spectrum of direct and indirect communication.

31:25. Assessment subtopic #4: Education. Clinicians need to ask and listen about the value on the continuum of academic/education/learning-focus versus socialization/extracurriculars/play/fun in a family. 

34:55. Assessment subtopic #5: Family Structure (ie, Extended Family). Who is involved in this child's life and what are the values that those adults/extended family members emphasize with the child(ren)? Another aspect can be when parents see their own parents in the grandparent role be gentle with their children when the parent did not get that from their parent as a child. 

Stay tuned for Part Two of Norma's family assessment coming in mid-September.

Thank you for listening! 

Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.

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You can follow Norma Brito here

IG: normabritodelacuesta

FB: Norma Brito