The capacity for emotion sets us apart from all things living. It gives us the capability for healthy, deep and intimate relationships. What does it look like when our relationships are too enmeshed emotionally? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Kathy Knochel teach us about enmeshment and the dangers of being too emotionally dependent on others.

Show notes

While we are to receive and give support to others, we are not to take ultimate responsibility for other's wellbeing. Unhealthy emotional dependency can happen when two or more individuals lose their independence and identity to the relationship. Individuals assume unhealthy responsibility for the feelings of others. Often it is marked with overwhelm and exhaustion on the part of one and deeply felt need on the part of the other. When this occurs in the family system, it often goes by the term enmeshment. However, emotional dependency can occur between unrelated friends also.

Finding health for individuals in emotionally dependent relationships will require some action.

• First there needs to be a recognition of emotional dependency.

• Second, boundaries will need to be put in place to promote safety between the individuals.

• Third, individuals will feel a mixture of guilt and loss. Working through these emotional realities is necessary.

• Finally, reengaging in the relationship at the healthiest level possible.