Healing after abuse, faith and healing, and ending generational cycles—this powerful conversation with author Andi Bull offers tools to stop perfectionism, release judgment, and embrace humble apologies that heal relationships. In this memoir-style episode, we explore how to end the cycle, why God’s love—not performance—defines identity, and practical ways to move from victim to survivor to overcomer. Throughout, we return to healing after abuse as a core theme, connecting it to anxiety, people-pleasing, and family patterns. If you’re ready for healing after abuse (or any hidden wound), this episode gives you language, lenses, and next steps. You’ll hear stories on motherhood, marriage, apology, and discernment that make healing after abuse actionable in daily life.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to ending the cycle: perfectionism, people-pleasing, and identity

(04:12) Guest shares insights on motherhood, adoption, and unconditional love in practice

(08:45) Humble apologies in marriage: how humility breaks defensiveness

(12:30) Performance vs. beloved identity: stopping the “earn love” lie

(16:05) Morning anxiety, gratitude, and inviting Jesus into honest emotions

(19:42) Seeing as God sees: non-judgment, modeling, and discerning “not from you”

(24:18) Suffering and growth: the barbed-wire tree and integrating grief

(28:10) From victim → survivor → overcomer: refusing to let pain define you

(31:40) Tools to end gossip and judgment while keeping relationships

(35:05) Parenting & grandparenting stories: unconditional love in the checkout line

(38:20) Practical takeaways and next steps to end generational patterns

Key Takeaways:

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• Identity first: You are loved before you perform; humility dismantles defensiveness.
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• End the cycle: Awareness + new responses (apology, curiosity, modeling) rewrite family patterns.
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• Judgment → discernment: Ask for God’s eyes and heart; sometimes the word is “not from you.”
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• Suffering integrates: We don’t “shrink” pain; we grow around it and become stronger.
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• Move stages: Acknowledge victimhood, heal as a survivor, live as an overcomer who helps others.
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Guest Bio:

Guest Bio:

For over twenty-five years, Andi has dedicated herself to the study of God’s word, graduating from the King’s University with her Master’s in 2003.

As she read the Bible through the eyes of a survivor of traumatic childhood abuse, she saw how God passionately seeks the lost, gently restores the broken, and tenderly heals broken hearts. 

Andi became inspired to advocate for emotional well-being, not only for herself but also for the women she is privileged to mentor one-on-one and those she speaks to at conferences. The lessons and insights she gained are in her book, When Your Protectors Didn’t: Healing from a Past of Broken Pieces. 

Raised in South Africa as a child, she now resides in sunny Southern California with her husband, daughter, and pups. She loves her family, friends, pups, and coffee—lots and lots of coffee! 

Resource Links:

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• Get Andi Bull’s book: When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect https://a.co/d/5naO43I
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• Learn more at lesakoski.com
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• Listen to Part 1 of the conversation — https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e87157ca-599f-4155-9b7e-3d577d1ee81d/
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Tags/Keywords:

healing after abuse, faith and healing, end the cycle, perfectionism, people pleasing, humble apology, nonjudgment, Christian women, women over 40 podcast, survivor to overcomer, generational healing, identity in God, memoir podcast, Andy Bull, When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect