Whether you've decided to divorce and haven't told your spouse yet, or the decision has been made for you, the first weeks can bring a wave of fear, guilt, overwhelm and uncertainty. In this solo episode, Karen McMahon, high-conflict divorce coach and founder of Journey Beyond Divorce, explains how to prepare for divorce in a way that protects your emotional health, your finances and your children. After 16 years of coaching, Karen has seen that how you handle the emotional side of divorce shapes how well you handle the legal, financial and co-parenting decisions that follow. She explains why staying present, focusing on what you can control and taking one baby step at a time will serve you better than trying to solve the whole divorce in a single day.

Karen then walks through five steps from her free Smart Start Pre-Divorce Checklist. First, she explains why a one-time consultation with a family law attorney matters, even in a high-conflict marriage where your spouse threatens to go scorched earth. She also covers the differences between a litigator, a collaborative attorney, a mediator and an advising attorney. Next she covers how to plan telling your spouse you want a divorce and how to reset your home environment, from separate sleeping arrangements to shared spaces and household tasks. She explains how setting boundaries while you still live together shows you how your spouse is likely to negotiate. She shares guidance on how to tell your kids about the divorce, including when telling them together may not be best. She closes with how a temporary parenting schedule before separation can show you how shared custody might work.

Download the free Smart Start Pre-Divorce Checklist here: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/pre-divorce-checklist

Feeling overwhelmed and ready for support? Book your free one-hour Rapid Relief Call at https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call to get a new perspective and a clear action step from a Journey Beyond Divorce coach.

Join Divorce Support Network with our back-to-school offer: 80% off, a full year for $99, plus two strategic calls at no cost, one with a coach and one with a financial specialist: https://community.divorcesupportnetwork.com/back-to-school/

To celebrate a decade of Journey Beyond Divorce, we're sharing a special collection of episodes featuring Karen McMahon as a guest on some of her favorite podcasts. Over the years, Karen has joined incredible hosts across the divorce, coaching, and personal growth space to share her story and her expertise. This collection brings those conversations together in one place, offering a look at Karen's voice and message from a different angle, through the eyes of the hosts who welcomed her. Thank you for being part of this journey, and for helping Journey Beyond Divorce grow into what it is today.

Karen McMahon on Confessions of a Freebird with Laurie James

In this episode, originally recorded for the Confessions of a Freebird podcast, host Laurie James sits down with Karen McMahon, High Conflict Divorce Coach and Strategist with Journey Beyond Divorce, for a candid conversation about thriving after a midlife divorce. Karen shares her own raw divorce story and the mindset shifts she has gained over 15 years, from moving through the emotional rollercoaster and practicing self-compassion to setting boundaries that actually hold. She offers three neutral statements for communicating with a difficult ex without giving in, strategies for co-parenting without becoming emotionally drained, and ways to heal your triggers so toxic patterns don't follow you into future relationships. She also walks through her 3 A's as a path to building a life that aligns with who you truly are. Laurie is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, certified somatic practitioner, and coach who helps people divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She is the author of Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go, and her podcast is its sequel, a space for women navigating divorce, empty nesting, loss, and reinvention.

Learn more about Laurie James and her work at https://www.laurieejames.com/, and listen to Confessions of a Freebird: https://www.laurieejames.com/podcast2

Connect with Karen:

• Book a FREE Coaching Call: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call
• Join Divorce Support Network: Back to school offer, 80% off a full year for $99, plus two strategic calls at no cost, one with a coach and one with a financial specialist: https://bit.ly/jbdpod

Changing the locks is no longer the same thing as changing the access.

In this episode, Karen McMahon sits down with Jonathan Steele, a Chicago based family law attorney and certified cybersecurity professional, for a conversation Journey Beyond Divorce has never had in over 425 episodes. Jonathan has spent more than a decade litigating high conflict, high net worth cases, and he brings a layer of technical expertise that most family lawyers simply do not have.

Karen opens with the uncomfortable truth that almost nobody going through divorce thinks of themselves as a cybersecurity target. Jonathan walks listeners through what a spouse may still be able to see long after someone has moved out: the Ring camera, the Nest footage, the Gmail account still signed in on an old iPad, the shared iCloud photo album, the luxury car app that logs where the car has been and how fast it was going, the location sharing nobody remembers turning on. He explains why the smart devices that were supposed to make life easier, the robot vacuum, the smart refrigerator, the video doorbell, are often running years old software while sitting on the same Wi-Fi network as every device that holds something sensitive. The front door may have an excellent lock on it. The window screen is full of holes.

When Karen asks when in the process people should start addressing this, his answer is immediate. Before you file. Before discovery. Before trial. As soon as you possibly can.

Then the conversation gets closer to home. Jonathan describes how children become tracker beacons without anyone intending it, how a single mutual friend inside a list of eight hundred followers can hand a spouse the photograph that ends spousal support, and how one of his own cases terminated a maintenance obligation of more than a million dollars a year because a woman's adult children were quietly feeding her social media posts to their father. She was simply living her life and posting about it, the way everyone does.

He also answers a question a growing number of listeners are asking. Conversations with AI about a divorce are discoverable, and lawyers have already started requesting the logs.

Karen asks him to triage the overwhelm into a short list, and he does. Move sensitive communication to a more secure messenger. Open a brand new email address. Run the Safety Check tool already built into the iPhone, which was designed for exactly this situation and walks you through revoking access in plain language. Prune the follower lists, including the connections that feel harmless. Cut off camera and car app access. Pause the next time an app requests a permission it has no legitimate reason to want.

And for every listener who has been told by friends that she is paranoid and ridiculous, Jonathan offers the line worth the entire episode. It is only paranoia if you are not right about it.

One small step a day still counts. This is a marathon, and every setting you turn off is protection you did not have yesterday.

Connect with Jonathan Steele:

• Website: steelfamlaw.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steelefamlaw/

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Join Divorce Support Network: Back to school offer, 80% off a full year for $99, plus two strategic calls at no cost, one with a coach and one with a financial specialist: https://bit.ly/jbdpod
• Free Rapid Relief Call: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call

If you've ever felt like you can't think straight, can't stop second-guessing yourself, or can't figure out why you keep making decisions you regret, this episode is for you.

One of the most damaging and least talked about effects of divorce is what anxiety does to your decision making. Fear takes over, your nervous system goes into overdrive, and suddenly you're not making choices from a clear, grounded place, you're reacting. Most people don't even realize it's happening until the damage is done, and for many, anxiety and alcohol end up feeding each other during this exact chapter of life.

Karen sits down with Colleen Freeland Kachmann, a mindful drinking coach, host of the globally top ranked It's Not About the Alcohol podcast, and founder of the Accelerated Recovery Process, to talk about what anxiety is actually doing to your brain during divorce, why so many people reach for alcohol to cope with that anxiety without realizing that's what's happening, and how to get clear, get grounded, and start making decisions you can trust, with or without a drink in hand. They dig into why anxiety and fear take over during divorce and what's actually happening in your nervous system when they do, how anxious drinking during divorce becomes a coping mechanism for dysregulation rather than an actual solution, how to recognize when anxiety is making your decisions for you even when it doesn't feel like anxiety, and what it feels like to make a decision from a calm, grounded place instead of a fearful or alcohol-numbed one. They also talk about the role of emotional sobriety, a concept that applies whether or not alcohol is part of your story, in rebuilding self-trust during and after divorce, and what Colleen's work helping women change their relationship with alcohol taught her about fear, the nervous system, and self-trust that applies directly to divorce recovery.

Colleen Freeland Kachmann is a mindful drinking coach and host of the globally top ranked It's Not About the Alcohol podcast. She helps high-achieving professional women reduce their alcohol consumption using holistic, evidence-based strategies in neurophysiology, nervous system regulation, and growth mindset, without willpower or an all-or-nothing approach to alcohol. Colleen is an addiction and recovery-certified master life coach with an MSc in health coaching, a BS in biology and chemistry, and certification as a women's functional and integrative professional. She founded Recover with Colleen, an intensive group coaching program built around her Accelerated Recovery Process.

If this conversation resonated, whether it's the divorce anxiety, the drinking, or both, and you're wondering whether coaching support could help, Karen's Rapid Relief Call is a free way to find out. You can also connect with Colleen through her podcast, It's Not About the Alcohol, and her program, Recover with Colleen.

Connect with Colleen:

• Free Gift: COMING SOON
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hangoverwhisperer
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehangoverwhisperer
• Website: https://itsnotaboutthealcohol.com

Resources Mentioned in this Podcast:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod

To celebrate a decade of Journey Beyond Divorce, we're sharing a special collection of episodes featuring Karen McMahon as a guest on some of her favorite podcasts. Over the years, Karen has joined incredible hosts across the divorce, coaching, and personal growth space to share her story and her expertise. This collection brings those conversations together in one place, offering a look at Karen's voice and message from a different angle, through the eyes of the hosts who welcomed her. Thank you for being part of this journey, and for helping Journey Beyond Divorce grow into what it is today.

Karen McMahon on the Self-Love Recovery Podcast with Ross Rosenberg

In this episode, originally recorded for the Self-Love Recovery podcast, host Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC sits down with Karen McMahon, Chief Visionary and High Conflict Divorce Coach with Journey Beyond Divorce, for an in-depth conversation on high conflict relationships. Together they explore the behaviors and reactions that define these dynamics, from a self-love deficit at their root to the delusions that can keep people stuck, and why setting boundaries is so essential to breaking the cycle. Ross brings decades of clinical expertise in codependency, trauma, and narcissistic abuse to the conversation, while Karen offers her perspective on how these patterns show up in divorce and relationship transitions. Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, and author of The Human Magnet Syndrome, and founder of the Self-Love Recovery Institute, which he created in 2013 as a hub for personal development, workshops, and professional training.

Learn more about Ross Rosenberg and the Self-Love Recovery Institute at selfloverecovery.com, and listen to the Self-Love Recovery podcast on all major platforms.

• Podcast: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/podcast
• YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/RossRosenberg
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rossrosenberg_slri
• Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RossRosenberg1
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rossrosenberg

What if divorce wasn't really about her?

That's the question Karen McMahon poses to open this episode of Journey Beyond Divorce, and the question at the center of her conversation with Geoff Laughton, a Relationship and Men's Work Coach with 33 years of experience, 300+ workshops, and thousands of clients. Geoff calls the pattern the "Masculine Dilemma," a set of unconscious traps that quietly erode men's marriages long before divorce ever becomes a possibility. He's also 44 years into his own marriage, so he's not just teaching this work, he's living it.

Karen and Geoff dig into what actually drives men toward disconnection: confusion about what masculinity even means today, growing up without strong masculine models, and the gap between who a man was trained to be and who he actually is underneath the training. Geoff unpacks the real differences between masculine and feminine energy, not as stereotypes, but as wiring, and explains why so many marriages die from a thousand tiny paper cuts rather than one big blowup.

One of the most useful moments in the episode is Geoff's breakdown of "MSU" (making shit up) and "MUS" (made-up shit), the stories partners tell themselves about what the other person is thinking, without ever actually asking. Karen and Geoff both push back hard on the idea that a partner should "just know" what you need, calling it a setup for failure in any relationship.

The conversation also tackles the "Sir Lancelot syndrome," the nice-guy pattern of trying to rescue and fix a partner's every feeling, at the cost of a man's own needs and boundaries, and why that pattern so often ends in resentment rather than intimacy.

In the back half of the episode, Geoff walks through what he calls a relationship postmortem: a brutally honest look at what worked, when things started to break down (often, he notes, right around the arrival of the first child), where a man went out of integrity with himself, and what he's committed to doing differently before jumping into the next relationship. Karen and Geoff agree this kind of self-honest inventory, done without self-blame or shame, is essential before dating again.

Connect with Geoff:

• Free E-book: The Masculine Dilemma - https://theundauntedman.com/path
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/ln/theundauntedman and www.linkedin.com/li/yourrelationshiparchitect

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod

High-conflict divorce doesn't end when the papers are signed. It lives on in the next generation, and often in the very patterns adults bring into their own marriages. In this episode, Karen McMahon sits down with Dr. Sharon Martin to unpack how growing up in a dysfunctional or high-conflict home quietly shapes the adults those children become, showing up years later as codependency, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and conflict avoidance.

Karen and Dr. Martin trace how a child's instinct to stay safe around unpredictable or explosive parents can calcify into lifelong habits of self-abandonment, and why so many adults find themselves recreating the very dynamics they swore they'd leave behind. The conversation moves into practical territory, too, exploring what healthy boundaries actually look like, how they differ for a difficult parent versus a difficult boss or friend, and why self-compassion is the starting point for breaking the cycle rather than the reward at the end of it. Karen shares personal stories from her own divorce and parenting journey, and listeners walk away with concrete ways to spot these patterns in themselves and in their children, and real tools to begin interrupting them now.

Dr. Sharon Martin is a licensed psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience helping adult children of dysfunctional families untangle the long-term effects of their upbringing, and the author of several self-help books along with a free re-parenting guide available on her website.

Connect with Dr. Sharon

• Website: https://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sharonmartinlcsw/,
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_sharon_martin/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SharonMartin
• Free Gift: 12 Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism (one of over 30 self-help tools available in my free resource library): https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/free/

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod

You've made the decision, or maybe it's been made for you. Either way, most people do what feels urgent: call a lawyer in a panic, tell their spouse too soon, move out of the house without thinking it through. Those early moves can follow you through the whole process. In this episode, Karen McMahon shares the five essentials to get right before you file, so you move forward with clarity and a plan instead of fear.

First, investigate your legal rights, talk to a matrimonial attorney in your jurisdiction before you do anything else, so you understand where you stand on finances, assets, and custody. Second, share the decision strategically, using the BIFF approach (brief, informative, firm, friendly) and a real plan for timing and safety. Third, redefine home life, someone moves out of the master bedroom, and new household rules go into place so your actions match your words. Fourth, tell the kids with a simple, age-appropriate message: we love you, it's going to be okay, you'll still see both of us. Fifth, create a temporary parenting plan and trial a shared schedule, which becomes valuable data for negotiating custody later.

Karen also covers whether you actually need a lawyer (almost always, yes) and how to file.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Smart Start Pre-Divorce Checklist: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/pre-divorce-checklist
• Explore Divorce Support Network: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/
• Book a Rapid Relief Call: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call

Divorce after 50 looks nothing like divorce in your 30s or 40s. Custody battles and parenting plans give way to a different kind of high-stakes negotiation, one centered almost entirely on money: retirement accounts, pensions, Social Security, and spousal support. And with gray divorce rates doubling since 1990 for people over 50, and tripling for those over 65, Karen McMahon believes this is a conversation more couples urgently need.

In this episode of the Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, Karen sits down with Andrew Hatherly, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), trained mediator, and founder of Transcend Retirement and Wiser Divorce Solutions. Andrew is also the host of The Gray Divorce Podcast, and after navigating his own midlife divorce, has made it his mission to help others understand exactly what's financially at stake before they sign a settlement.

Karen and Andrew unpack why gray divorce carries a far higher financial risk than divorce earlier in life, since there's simply less runway to rebuild retirement savings after a late-life split. They explore why bringing a financial expert to the table, alongside an attorney and a divorce coach, is essential in any high conflict divorce, and especially critical when a marriage has spanned decades and retirement accounts, pensions, and home equity are all on the table.

The conversation covers what men and women both need to understand about marital property, why "his" retirement account is actually a shared marital asset, and why spousal support calculations vary so widely from state to state. Andrew breaks down a critical but often-overlooked Social Security rule: spouses married 10 years or longer may be entitled to claim benefits based on their former spouse's earnings record, without reducing what their ex-spouse receives, and why couples approaching that 10-year mark should think carefully about timing. They also discuss the tax implications of dividing different types of retirement accounts, why a $500,000 Roth IRA and a $500,000 traditional 401(k) are not actually worth the same in a divorce settlement, and why remarriage can affect spousal support and estate planning decisions down the road.

Karen and Andrew close with a candid discussion about what comes after the financial settlement is finalized, and why gray divorce, despite its financial complexity, can also become a powerful catalyst for reinvention, purpose, and a stronger, more intentional third act of life.

Whether you're facing high conflict divorce, navigating gray divorce later in life, or are a man trying to understand your financial rights and responsibilities in divorce, this episode offers the financial clarity and strategic insight needed to protect your future and negotiate from a place of knowledge rather than fear.

Andrew Hatherly is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), mediator, and founder of Transcend Retirement and Wiser Divorce Solutions. He is the host of The Gray Divorce Podcast and author of The Gray Divorce Phenomenon, a free guide available at transcendretirement.net.

Connect with Andrew:

• Free Gift: The Gray Divorce Phenomenon, a free guide available at transcendretirement.net.

• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewhatherley/

• Podcast: https://www.transcendretirement.net/podcast

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod

Most people assume divorce means courtrooms, legal battles, and losing control of the outcome, but Karen McMahon knows that's not always true. In this episode of the Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, Karen sits down with Cary Jacobson, a collaborative divorce attorney, mediator, and child advocate, to break down every path to divorce outside of litigation and help listeners understand which one actually fits their situation.

Karen and Cary walk through the full spectrum of options, from do-it-yourself kitchen table agreements and settlement negotiation between attorneys, to mediation, to the collaborative divorce process, where both spouses commit to a team-based approach with collaboratively trained attorneys, financial neutrals, and mental health professionals working together toward resolution. They explain how each option works, who it's best suited for, and the real risks of going the DIY route without legal guidance, especially when children, retirement assets, or property division are involved.

The conversation dives deep into what makes collaborative divorce unique, including the participation agreement that requires full transparency and commits both parties to staying out of court, and why Karen believes collaborative divorce can be especially powerful in high-conflict situations, cases involving substance abuse, or divorces involving young children. Karen and Cary also unpack how mediation works, when a consulting attorney should be brought in alongside a mediator, and how power imbalances between spouses can shape which process will actually lead to a fair outcome.

Karen closes the conversation with a reminder central to everything Journey Beyond Divorce stands for: every person going through divorce is the CEO of their own case, with the right and responsibility to understand their options, ask questions, and choose the process, whether that's mediation, collaborative divorce, settlement negotiation, or litigation, that will protect their family's future.

Cary Jacobson is a collaborative divorce attorney, mediator, and child advocate, and the founder of Jacobson Family Law.

Connect with Cary:

• Email:[email protected]
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jacobsonfamilylaw,
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacobsonfamilylaw/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/caryjacobson
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1vZ9kkhd4LPpB1yEqK7U9w
• Website: https://jacobsonfamilylaw.com/

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod