Fear. It creeps in when you’re trying to sleep, whispers worst-case scenarios while you’re washing dishes, and makes you second-guess yourself every time you try to take a brave step forward.

But here’s the truth: not all fear is bad. In fact, some of it is a God-given superpower... and some of it? More like an overactive smoke alarm when you've just made toast. 

In this Flying Higher moment, we break down the two kinds of fear—clean fear that protects you and dirty fear that keeps you stuck. You'll learn: 

✨ How fear really works in your brain and body
 ✨ Why Christian women in abusive relationships often live in chronic fear
 ✨ The surprising root fear hiding under all the others
 ✨ How to tell if fear is leading you—or limiting you
✨ Practical ways to reclaim your peace (without gaslighting yourself)

If you’ve ever been afraid of making a mistake, being alone, messing up your kids, or just feeling your feelings—this one’s for you.

Join me for the entire course called The Fear Cure inside Flying Higher by visiting joinflyinghigher.com

In today’s episode, I am joined by life coach and fellow survivor advocate Diana Swillinger to explore a fascinating and often misunderstood topic: Can you gaslight yourself? We dive deep into what gaslighting is, how it manifests in relationships, and whether people unconsciously manipulate their own thoughts and emotions as a survival mechanism. This candid discussion sheds light on self-doubt, emotional survival, and the process of breaking free from harmful thought patterns.

Key Takeaways: 

• Definition of Gaslighting: A psychological manipulation tactic where an abuser causes the victim to question their own reality, memories, or sanity. This can be intentional or unintentional.
• Gaslighting as a Category: It encompasses various abuse tactics such as blaming, projection, and minimizing.
• Self-Gaslighting as Survival: While traditional gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used by one person against another, self-gaslighting often arises as an unconscious coping mechanism to minimize conflict and protect ourselves from emotional pain.
• Breaking Free: The first step in healing is acknowledging the truth and replacing self-gaslighting with truth. 

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Diana Swillinger is a life and business coach, host of The Renew Your Mind Podcast, and founder of the Renew Your Mind Institute Coach Training. After decades of trying to please God, be a good person and do the right thing, she ended up exhausted and discouraged. Desperate for a solution, Diana went back to school, joined personal development programs, and more, then took what she learned and created mind renewal tools that let her love life in every situation no matter what comes her way. Over the past five years, she has empowered thousands of women with those same tools to heal themselves, get back to who God created them to be, and build a life they love.

In this episode we’ll talk about a struggle that many Christian women face after leaving an emotionally abusive marriage—parenting children who sometimes exhibit the same unhealthy behaviors as their fathers.

Through real-life examples and compassionate insights, I explore why this happens, how mothers can reframe their perspectives, and practical steps they can take to strengthen their relationship with their children while continuing their healing journey.

Key Takeaways: 

• Understanding why kids act like their father
• Reframing the perspective on kids' behavior
• Healing yourself to better parent your child
• Practical parenting strategies
• Building a safe, loving home environment

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Let’s talk about triggers. You know, those moments when someone says the “wrong” thing, and suddenly you’re ready to flip a table? 

Most of us see triggers as a bad thing—proof that we’re too sensitive, too emotional, or just plain too much. But what if I told you that your triggers are actually pointing you toward healing?

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re unpacking:
 ✔️ What triggers actually are (hint: they’re not just annoying mood-ruiners)
✔️ Why they happen (spoiler: your brain is just trying to protect you)
✔️ How to heal them so they don’t hijack your peace every time someone breathes wrong
✔️ The ultimate trigger survival guide (yes, you can recover faster and freak out less!)

If you’re ready to stop letting triggers control your emotions and start using them as a tool for growth, this episode is for you.

Join me and hundreds of other Christian women 10Xing their own healing and self-development inside Flying Higher! 

In today’s episode, I explore the difficult and often shocking realization that wickedness exists in the world—and sometimes within our closest relationships. Responding to a listener's inquiry and using insights from Adam Young’s “The Place We Find Ourselves” podcast, we’ll unpack the biblical definition of wickedness and discuss how it operates. I’ll also share personal experiences and strategies for recognizing and dealing with destructive individuals.

Key Takeaways:

• The Bible differentiates between normal and wicked people. Understanding these distinctions helps us navigate relationships wisely.
• Wicked individuals attack and blame others when confronted with their harmful actions.
• Evil individuals actively seek to destroy and humiliate their targets.
• A person's true nature is revealed in difficult situations, especially when they are confronted about their harmful behavior.
• Healing from exposure to wicked or evil individuals is a lifelong process, but it becomes possible when we remove ourselves from the toxic environment.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Check out Episode 93 of “The Place We Find Ourselves” podcast with Adam Young.
• Read the article I mentioned, “Why Foolproofing Your Life Will Save Your Life,” and then grab Jan Silvious’ book, Foolproofing Your Life.
• Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may enjoy: “What Do You Do If You’re Married to a Fool?” and “What are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce? (And Other Questions!)” 

What if I told you that creativity isn’t about painting or poetry—it’s about how you live? How you take the broken pieces of your story and shape them into something new, something beautiful, something yours.

For too long, you were told who to be, what to believe, and how small to make yourself. But here’s the truth: You were created to be a powerful co-creator in your own life. And in this episode we’re talking about how to break free from perfectionism, fear, and old conditioning so you can start building a life that feels like you.

Join Flying Higher in March HERE!

In today’s episode, I answer a question about surviving a husband’s rage while still in the home and preparing to leave. I want to share insights on coping strategies, the importance of unhooking from an abuser’s words, and how to create a safety plan. If you're living in survival mode, this episode offers encouragement and practical steps to help you move toward freedom and healing.

Key Takeaways:

• Fear is a natural response to an abusive environment. Trying to "toughen up" emotions to endure abuse is not the solution; rather, finding ways to escape is essential.
• Unhook from his words. An abuser’s insults and accusations are projections of their own delusions, not reflections of your worth.
• Abusers see their victims as LEGO characters. They create a false narrative about who you are and expect you to conform. Recognizing this can help you detach emotionally.
• Radical acceptance is necessary. Understand that an abusive partner does not want genuine connection—only control and transaction.
• Survival mode is not living. Every day you endure abuse is survival, but true healing comes from stepping into a life of freedom.
• You deserve a future beyond survival. Healing is possible, and there are communities and resources to help you move forward.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Need a resource to help you as you unhook? Check out my interview with the founder of the app, Aimee Says, and then try it out for yourself!
• Want a free chapter of my book, “Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage”? Sign up for my mailing list, and I’ll send a copy straight to your inbox. 

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong anywhere—like you’re floating between worlds, disconnected from faith, family, or community? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive into a powerful shift happening in Christianity, where people are seeking belonging before belief. But what happens when you feel like you don’t belong anywhere? We unravel the truth about belonging, challenge the cages we’ve been taught to stay in, and explore what it really means to be free. If you’ve ever questioned your place in the world, this personal message from me to my private community might just change everything. (Yes, I'm giving you a little taste of working with me inside the Kaleidoscope!)

I'd love to mentor you! Join me inside Flying Higher!

In today’s episode, I explore the complex question: Is divorce worth it? For women who have endured long-term emotional and psychological abuse in marriage, this decision is often fraught with fear, confusion, and uncertainty.

I examine the disadvantages of staying in an abusive relationship, as well as the significant challenges faced during and after the divorce process. With thought-provoking questions and practical insights, this episode will help you assess whether leaving your marriage is the right choice for you. If you're feeling trapped and looking for clarity, support, and a path forward, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

• The emotional and psychological toll of staying in an abusive marriage.
• Physical and financial disadvantages of staying.
• Social and legal challenges of remaining in abuse.
• The harsh reality of divorce.
• Life after divorce—the path to healing.
• Guiding questions to determine if divorce is the right choice for you.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources: 

• Check out my interview with the founder of the app, Aimee Says, and then try it out for yourself!
• Read the article I mentioned, “How to Leave an Emotionally Abusive Relationship: 10 Steps.” 
• Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.
• My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. 
• Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.
• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress.