Divorced Christian Woman

Episode 42 is a different kind of episode. No topic, no script. Just Diana and me sitting down for a conversation about what's happening in our lives right now and what's coming next for this podcast.

Life changes fast, even for the women who help other women navigate life's hardest changes.

Key Takeaways:

• Why two coaches who help women through chaos are currently living inside some chaos of their own
• The surprising way an unexpected life upheaval can still honor the word you chose for your year
• What it looks like when a home finds you instead of you finding it
• The question every podcast host eventually has to ask herself: what is this actually for?
• What's still available to you while the podcast takes a breath

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

Last week was the why. This week is the what now. In Part 2 of this conversation, Natalie Hoffman and Diana Swillinger get practical about what it actually takes to move your nervous system from a state of constant threat management into something that feels like real life. And they go somewhere unexpected: the resistance to joy itself.

This is not a list of lofty advice. These are specific, doable practices that teach your body moment by moment that it is safe to let its guard down. There is also a deeper question: is "survival mode" even still the right story for where you are now?

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Why does joy sometimes feel more like a warning than a gift, and what does Brené Brown call this experience that is shockingly common among women who left destructive marriages?
• There is a stage beyond "survivor" that most women never realize they are allowed to reach. What does it actually look like to get there?
• An MRI study reveals something surprising about the fastest way to make a painful emotion pass. It takes about five minutes and you can do it anywhere.
• Natalie and Diana share the language reframes that change not just how you think about your healing, but how your nervous system responds to your own story.
• Why doing something with absolutely no practical purpose might be one of the most powerful things you can do for your healing right now.

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

Three years since the divorce was finalized, and you're still grinding your teeth at night and apologizing for things that aren't your fault. What is going on? In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, Natalie Hoffman and Diana Swillinger tackle one of the most common and confusing questions from women who have finally gotten out: why doesn't leaving make it stop?

Your brain knows the marriage is over. But your body hasn't gotten that memo yet. And even when it does, it's not flipping a switch for anybody. This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation on survival mode after divorce, and it begins with understanding why you're still in it and what it's doing to your daily life.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• What did Natalie's nervous system do while she was sitting in a Sicilian villa on a dream trip, and what does it reveal about why you can't just "move on"?
• There is a specific type of trauma that forms inside long, destructive marriages, and once you understand what it is, everything about your body's behavior starts to make sense.
• Six survival patterns that might be showing up in your daily life right now without you even recognizing them as trauma responses.
• Why the self-judgment you feel for not being "over it" isn't a character flaw. It's something that was handed to you, and tracing it back to the source changes everything.
• Diana froze completely for two days after a single casual sentence in a conversation. What she chose to do about it is worth hearing.

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

Today we get honest about the grief that shows up even when you know you made the right decision. In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, we’ll answer a real question from a Flying Higher member who's been circling back to her grief and wondering why she can't just move on.

What we uncover might surprise you. It's not just about missing him. And it's definitely not something you can solve by scattering unity sand in a river.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• What you're actually grieving might not be what you think: Is it really him you miss, or is it something else entirely that you haven't let yourself name yet?
• There's a hidden layer of grief that most divorced women never even look for, and it might be the most important one.
• Dissonance is real: Can you grieve something you didn't even want? We have something important to say about this.
• Is there a timeline for grieving a marriage? My answer might feel controversial, but also like the biggest exhale you've had in a long time.
• Crying in the bathtub, journaling at midnight, lying face-down on the floor: what do these things actually do for your grief, and why do they work?

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

You finally have a Saturday to yourself. The kids are gone. The house is quiet. And somehow... you end up on your phone for three hours feeling guilty. Sound familiar? There is something happening in your brain that's worth understanding.

In this episode, Natalie and Diana Swillinger dig into the science behind why divorced Christian women struggle to enjoy their own free time, and why the solution isn't a better to-do list. If you've ever felt frozen when you finally had space to breathe, this conversation was made for you.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Why does your brain freeze when you finally have free time? There's a specific psychological phenomenon that explains the paralysis, and it has nothing to do with laziness.
• Could the real reason you can't relax be hiding in a belief you don't even know you're carrying?
• What's the difference between the women who learn to enjoy their free time and the ones who stay stuck, and which side of that line are you on?
• There's a simple three-part framework that bypasses your brain's resistance entirely. Could this be the missing piece?
• Diana and Natalie each share the personal practice they use to reconnect with what they actually want. Is one of them exactly what you need?

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

What if failure isn't the problem -- it's the story you're telling yourself about it?

In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, I take you through the first part of a class I teach inside Flying Higher. Let’s talk about the real reason failure stops us cold. It’s not the failure itself. It's the meaning we assign to it, the story we quietly tell ourselves about what it says about who we are.

But there's something even harder to face than failing. It's the moment you break trust with yourself. These two things look alike but they're completely different, and once you understand the distinction, the way you relate to your own setbacks will never be the same. This episode draws from two lessons inside the Flying Higher program.

Key Takeaways:

• What does a toddler learning to walk have to do with your biggest setback? The answer will shift the way you see every failure you've ever had.
• Carol Dweck spent decades studying why some people bounce back from failure and others don't. What's the one thing that actually determines which kind of person you are?
• There's a critical difference between failing and breaking trust with yourself. Do you know which one you're actually dealing with right now?
• Why does getting on your own case about not following through make things so much worse? It has to do with a part of your brain I call Myrtle, and her response will surprise you.
• Two small daily practices can quietly rebuild your relationship with yourself from the inside out, even if you've broken your own promises more times than you can count.

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

Today’s conversation is a kick in the pants AND a permission slip, all wrapped into one.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• What if "I don't know who I am anymore" is actually the wrong question to be asking? Natalie and Diana reveal the reframe that changes everything.
• Your roles as wife, mom, church lady, and caretaker were never your identity. So what IS underneath all of that, and why does discovering it feel so scary?
• Is it actually selfish to turn inward and focus on yourself? The answer might flip everything you've been taught.
• Loneliness after divorce feels overwhelming, but there's a surprising reason why resisting it actually makes it worse.
• What does "living life to the max" look like when you're finally free? Natalie and Diana share their own answers, and they look nothing alike. HAHA!

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

Most Christian women were never given permission to fully become themselves. Not as girls, not as wives, and not inside their churches. So when the marriage ends and the roles fall away, they're left with a terrifying blank page and a question they don't know how to answer: Who am I?

In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, we get real about a psychological process called individuation and why so many divorced Christian women are doing it for the very first time in midlife. We’ll walk through three critical mindset shifts, seven signs of a woman who's becoming her own person, and three small but powerful practices you can start this week.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Why do so many divorced Christian women feel like they skipped an entire stage of growing up - and what does it take to go back and do it now?
• What is the fawn trauma response, and why does it explain why you keep saying yes when everything inside you is screaming no?
• There's a difference between self-awareness and self-blame - and getting it wrong keeps you stuck. Diana shares the two words she wrote down that finally changed everything.
• What does it actually look like when a woman is becoming individuated? Natalie walks through 7 signs - and you might already be further along than you think.
• Why do creativity, self-love, and knowing your values have everything to do with becoming a fully formed adult - and what are the three tiny practices that can start rewiring your nervous system this week?

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher is our live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! [email protected] 

What if everything you've been told about financial devastation after divorce is wrong?

This season finale brings you something different: real stories from real divorced Christian women who rebuilt their financial lives from the ground up. Grace shares how she went from budget deficit to financial peace while taking it one small step at a time. Jenny reveals how she built a six-figure business starting with just an iPad in her bedroom after 36 years as a stay-at-home mom. Kimberly talks about moving into a $3,000 trailer and eventually buying her dream house. Diana explains how she transformed her relationship with money itself.

These aren't fairy tales. These are messy, honest accounts of women who started with nothing, made mistakes, pivoted, learned, and kept going. No one ate cat food. No one ended up destitute. But they all had to get curious, ask questions, and take one brave step at a time.

Key Takeaways:

• Find out why one woman's investment advisor stopped wanting to work with her after divorce and what she learned from being forced to figure it out herself
• Discover the simple free tool that helped two of these women turn managing money into a game instead of a source of anxiety
• Learn what happened when a homeschool mom of 10 with no career walked into Target and started asking every customer about their job
• Hear why living in a leaking trailer for $300 a month became one woman's favorite memory and what it taught her about real security
• Find out how changing three simple beliefs about money transformed one coach's entire financial reality

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This FREE 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $590 for an entire year of learning how to be remarkable in every way! 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

What if everything you've been told about retirement is wrong—especially after divorce?

In this episode, Natalie and Diana explore why the traditional retirement model might actually be keeping you stuck in fear and financial anxiety. You'll discover how retirement is just a cultural construct from 1889 that may not serve your post-divorce life at all—and what to do instead.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Why divorced women might actually have a strategic advantage when it comes to financial freedom (this will surprise you!)
• What you're really seeking isn't retirement—it's something far more attainable starting TODAY
• The shocking math behind traditional retirement that explains why you feel so much pressure
• How working longer could actually reduce your stress and create MORE freedom (not less!)
• The powerful question that replaces "Will I have enough money?" and changes everything
• Why your most valuable asset has nothing to do with your 401(k)
• The "portfolio life" concept that gives you options instead of leaving you dependent on one income source

Resources mentioned:

• Smart Passive Income Podcast Episode 897 with Derek Coburn
• Book: "Let's Retire Retirement" by Derek Coburn
• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This FREE 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $590 for an entire year of learning how to be remarkable in every way! 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Full show notes HERE