Expectations of marriage today are explored using three sources of data; demographic trends, qualitative research and attitudinal material. All three sources suggest there is ambiguity in the social perception and private experience of marriage. This ambiguity reflects social changes wh ich have occurred in recent decades; emancipation of women, widespread divorce and the acceptance of premarital sex have all influenced the nature of marriage and the expectations men and women have of it. Our research findings confirm that marriage is problematic in that the reality of married life its division of labour, the amount of time available for the couple alone fails to meet up to many people's aspirations. This seems particularly true for women, whose desire for intimacy and a common life is especially difficult to achieve