Most leaders go through a period where they take stock of the trappings of the life they believe they are “supposed” to live. They examine the assumptions they’ve made, the choices they’ve fallen into, and the circumstances that have shaped their stories.

And they realize—however painfully—that it all needs to be torn down. I’ve been there, too. Brick by brick, they dismantle the details of their lives so that they can carefully and intentionally rebuild.

It takes real courage to lead yourself through a season of dismantling.

And, no, not the Mel Gibson Braveheart courage. But the quiet courage that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other. The unseen courage that chooses a life of uncertainty versus maintaining the status quo of tolerating, doubt, and shame.

It’s not easy to reassess the choices that have gotten you to where you’re at. But without paying close attention to how you’ve ended up merely tolerating the status quo, you can’t ever lift the burdens that keep you from being the leader you want to be.

You have to go through it, not around it.

No matter how cliché, it’s the truth.

My guest today has been through the process of examining and dismantling the details of her life so she could really lead. If you don’t know Ally Fallon, you need to. Ally writes books, helps people write books, and believes a regular practice of writing can change your life. She is the author of 12 books (and counting), is a sought-after public speaker, and a coach to hundreds of authors from New York TimesBestsellers to total beginners. She has spent the last decade coaching hundreds of people to gain confidence, overcome writer’s block, and get their stories on paper.

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