In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan—adoptive parent, consultant, and founder of RG Adoption Consulting—sits down with Dr. Tony Hynes, an adoptee, author, and educator whose story challenges nearly every stereotype about adoption.

Adopted by two white moms as a young Black boy in the 1990s, Tony’s early years were marked by both love and loss. When a court overturned his adoption—declaring that two white women couldn’t raise a Black child—his life became the center of a decade-long custody battle that would forever shape his identity.

Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com
• Book a 30-Minute Consult → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact
• The Son with Two Moms by Tony Hynes
• Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) → https://adoptionsupport.org
• Solace Gift Boxes → AdoptSolace.com

Chapters

00:00 — Sponsor: Solace Gift Boxes for birth mothers
01:00 — Meet Tony Hynes: adoptee, author, and advocate
02:10 — Growing up in the orphanage and early separations
05:30 — Understanding attachment, safety, and “home”
07:40 — Mental health, disclosure, and what parents should know
12:00 — When love meets bias: the adoption overturned
16:00 — “They’re going to take Tony”: the moment everything changed
18:50 — Living as an adoptee—but not legally adopted
20:00 — Navigating loyalty, identity, and two families at odds
22:00 — What children need most when families clash
25:00 — Racism, homophobia, and learning to self-advocate
28:00 — The family member her mom cut off—and why it mattered
30:30 — Seeing both sides: race, policy, and systemic bias in adoption
33:00 — End of Part 1 + teaser for next week’s episode

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠