We often hear the advice, “You just need to find your community.”

It sounds simple. Hopeful, even. But it can ring hollow for anyone who has tried to do it, and for those in leadership roles where they carry the additional burdens of responsibility and visibility. And it’s especially fraught advice for anyone who has experienced relational trauma.

Because true community isn’t something you stumble into. It has to be built, slowly and intentionally. And it’s often uncomfortable and messy when we’re healing from experiences where reaching for connection resulted in hurt and betrayal.

But human beings are wired for connection. We long for it. And we’re more disconnected from each other than ever.

The remedy for our loneliness is in the slow, awkward, sacred work of showing up and staying, even through discomfort and disagreement. If we lay foundations of shared dignity and respect, we can build courageously honest relationships and community in those uncomfortable spaces. 

My guest today joins me to explore the intricate journey of building a true community, one that transcends buzzwords and embraces the courage to be vulnerable and honest, to disagree, repair, and stay genuinely connected.

Charles Vogl is an adviser, speaker, and the author of three books, including the international bestseller The Art of Community.

His work is used to advise and develop leadership and programs worldwide within organizations including Google, Airbnb, LinkedIn, Twitch, Amazon, ServiceNow, Meetup.com, Wayfair and the US Army.

Charles holds an M.Div. from Yale, where he studied spiritual traditions, ethics, and business as a Jesse Ball duPont Foundation scholar.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How a seemingly simple ritual of Friday dinners turned Charles’s house into a community hub
• Why investing in community building will always require some amount of intention and effort
• How Charles’s experiences working for social change shaped his skill for bringing people together around shared purpose and values
• The difference between true community and what Charles calls “mirage communities”
• What holds leaders back from creating spaces where real relationships and community can be built
• The importance of “campfire experiences” for developing trust and admiration
• Why we need to invite others in, not just announce our plans and hope they show up

Learn more about Charles Vogl:

• Website
• Connect on LinkedIn
• The Art of Community: 7 Principles for Belonging

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• The Unburdened Leader on Substack
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• The loneliest people (and places) in America, Andrew Van Dam | Washington Post
• Marissa King
• Cloud Cult - You'll Be Bright