The leaders I work with want to be the kind of leaders who can handle complexity without defaulting to blame, shame, or shutting down.

But when visibility and accountability collide with unhealed relational wounding, it doesn’t matter how many books we’ve read or retreats we’ve attended; our bodies remember. And it can feel deeply uncomfortable.

Discomfort is part of the gig, though. If we let it, it moves us towards being better humans to ourselves and others. True accountability may not always lead to repair and reconnection, but it is a profoundly relational and humanizing practice led by values, justice, and grace.

But when discomfort turns to shame, accountability feels threatening rather than connective. And when we fear accountability and its discomfort, it causes more harm.

The work of unburdening is never entirely over, but as Dr. Richard Schwartz reminded me in today’s fifth anniversary conversation, the more unburdened we are, the more accountable we become. The more we desire justice. The more we want to see change. 

It’s a powerful affirmation of what’s possible when we commit to being Unburdened Leaders.

Richard Schwartz began his career as a systemic family therapist and an academic. Grounded in systems thinking, Dr. Schwartz developed Internal Family Systems (IFS) in response to clients’ descriptions of various parts within themselves. He focused on the relationships among these parts and noticed that there were systemic patterns to the way they were organized across clients. He also found that when the clients’ parts felt safe and were allowed to relax, the clients would spontaneously experience the qualities of confidence, openness, and compassion that Dr. Schwartz came to call the Self. He found that when in that state of Self, clients would know how to heal their parts.

A featured speaker for national professional organizations, Dr. Schwartz has published many books and over fifty articles about IFS.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How being in Self allows us to act assertively without igniting defensiveness
• How IFS can help us maintain our empathy and compassion without burning out
• The challenges and risks of the rapid popularization of IFS via social media
• Why being in Self is a continuum not a binary
• Why Dr. Schwartz has a pep talk with his parts every day, even after decades of doing the work
• How he’s navigating increasing media exposure while staying true to his values and IFS principles
• How Self creates a natural desire for accountability in our inner and outer worlds

Learn more about Dr. Richard Schwartz:

• IFS Institute

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• The Unburdened Leader on Substack
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email