The Autism Mom Coach

Ep 188: The Expectation Trap, Part 2


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Last week we uncovered the Expectation Trap — the moment you realize you’re holding someone to your internal rulebook and feeling irritated, disappointed, or flat-out furious when they don’t follow it. This week, we take it further. Because once you see the trap clearly, the real question becomes: now what?

This episode breaks down your three actual moves when someone’s behavior clashes with your values, standards, or instincts: let it go, make an adjustment, or enforce a boundary. These choices help you reclaim your steadiness, drop unnecessary resentment, and lead your home with more intention, especially during the holiday pressure cooker.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

  • How your expectations get built — and why the internal ones hit the hardest

  • The power of choosing your battles instead of reacting from urgency or indignation


  • Why “letting it go” is sometimes the most strategic move in an autism household


  • What adjusting looks like when someone simply operates differently than you


  • How to enforce a boundary without drama, panic, or self-judgment


When you stop holding people to your personal rulebook, you stop burning energy on the wrong things and free up bandwidth for what actually matters to you.


Ready to take this work deeper?


Work with Me: This is where we clean up the mental load, the resentment, and the overfunctioning so you have capacity again: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me

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The Autism Mom CoachBy Lisa Candera

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