In this episode of The Free Radical Podcast, Swami Padmanabha and Arcana-siddhi, a marital counselor and practicing Vaishnavi for almost 50 years, consider a wide range of topics circling around the necessity to debunk the false myth that the grihasta ashram is intrinsically inferior to other ashrams and redeem the conception of the grihasta ashram from being the “deep, dark well of material existence” into the sacred position it is meant to hold, just like the sannyasa ashram can be both in potential. Everything is about how we approach it.

Some of the topics included:
•OVER-ESTIMATION of monastic superheroes
•EFFECTS OF DENYING VALUE OF FAMILY : disappointment, guilt, shame, marital discord, abuse, broken vows, and child and spousal neglect.
•POSITIVE ATTACHEMENT and affection
•SACRIFICES in the grihasta ashram that lead to a healthy self-forgetfulness
•DENYING THE POTENTIAL SACREDNESS of marriage and family, feelings and emotions, our humanity
•SACRED SEX REQUIRES the proper intimacy with one’s own emotions—it is not a cheap thing.

THE MAIN ISSUES for which devotee couples seek counseling:
1.SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL INTIMACY-a lot of discord is in relation to the idea of “sex for procreation only”. This topic lead to the discussion of taking standardized vows, 1 size fits all, which are known to cause dysfunction either because many who make them know they will break them, or they go neurotic in trying to keep them for the sake of fitting. 1-size anything is not very personal.
2.ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES—often the wife works outside the home but is still seen as responsible for all of the house hold duties such as cleaning, cooking, shopping,
3.LEGACY BURDENS—paradigms that we have imbibed from prior generations and transmit without noticing. Each generation bears the responsibility to stop the hand-me-downs of trauma. One big one to retire is MISOGYNY: if women are considered “less than” then how can they be valued in a relationship.

The discussion wound its way to the Enneagram and how it can help us more clearly see the traps of our particular ego, the paradigm thru which we filter reality, the key to open our cell, and reveal our strategies working against us.

The exploration concluded speaking about the importance of having a regular and steady practice of meditation. Arcana-siddhi provided personal account as well as that of studies and her own experiences with counseling couples that a regulated practice has an affect on all levels—psychic, emotional and physical—of both the individual and the couple.

Tune in for some healing.

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