When we spend most of our time trying to prove our worth, our proving shifts to looking for safety and validation from external sources and delegates our worth to others.

When we engage in this kind of proving, we end up in what I call the “not enough” loop.

The not enough loop is rooted in the belief that if you can change or fix yourself based on these external metrics–the standard of enough–you’ll get relief and feel more secure and capable.

But it only deepens our feelings of insecurity, comparison, and scarcity, which loops back to looking outside ourselves for validation. The not enough loop counts on us to externalize our worthiness.

When we fall into the not enough loop in our work, we often hear blanket labels like “imposter syndrome” that place responsibility on the individual and shut down conversations about the biases and pressures that make imposter syndrome and the not enough loop so much more prevalent for anyone who doesn’t identify as a straight, white, cis male.

My guest today has been through the grind of toxic environments, gender biases, and all of the things that can feed the not enough loop.

Wendy Collie is a former Fortune 200 executive with a passion for triple bottom line organizations who are customer-focused while having employee-oriented philosophies as a cornerstone for transformative, sustainable, and profitable growth.

Wendy believes that organizations have a responsibility to improve the lives of their customers, employees, and their communities, and that success is measured by both stakeholders and shareholders, no matter the size of the company.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• What happened when Wendy was struggling to prove herself on all fronts
• Why living her values meant stepping away from a job she loved
• How Wendy evaluated the deep roots of her need to prove herself, and decoupled her identity from her title
• Why Wendy believes in intentionally crafting company culture and how that impacts hiring and management practices
• How Wendy reframes proving and perfectionism in her work now

Learn more about Wendy Collie:

• WendyCollie.com
• Connect with Wendy on LinkedIn

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome, Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey
• The 5 Biases Pushing Women Out of STEM, Joan C. Williams
• The Murderbot Diaries, Martha Wells
• Florence and the Machine
• The Great
• CODA 
• When Harry Met Sally...