On October 4 2020, during my last few weeks living in Las Vegas, I decided to record myself on what I planned to be my last night gambling. I wanted to capture what one of my typical nights in the casino really looked like. I filmed everything from start to finish — rambling to the camera about betting strategies, chasing losses, and dying a slow death at the Keno Slots.

Five years later, in 2025, I’m watching the footage -- some of which I am seeing for the first time. Nothing is edited or filtered. It’s a real, uncut look at how I thought, talked, and justified my actions while deep in addiction.

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