Are you a safe person? 

Do you cultivate and lead spaces that are safe? 

And how do you know the difference between lack of safety and discomfort? 

The hard truth is that we can never declare a person or a space “safe.” We can do all we can to cultivate safety within ourselves and we can be intentional about doing our best to be safe but we cannot name a space or a person safe. That is for others to decide. Which is vulnerable and challenging. 

If we want to increase our capacity for discomfort and work towards being safe, it will require us to get really clear on how we can be unsafe along with discerning the difference between safety and discomfort.

And if we truly want to be a part of cultivating safe spaces and be safe people to others, we have to build our capacity for discomfort to: be wrong, make mistakes, be misunderstood, set and maintain boundaries, speak up when harm happens, and take ownership of our part when harm is done. This is something we need to feel through, not just think through. 

Today’s guest digs into the difference between safety and discomfort, and the qualities we show when we are actually unsafe people.

Tasha Hunter, MSW, LCSW is a  Black, queer Internal Family Systems therapist. She is the owner of Ascension Growth Center, PLLC, servicing clients in North Carolina and Kansas. She serves Black/BIPOC women, and LGBTQ+.  She is the author of the memoir, What Children Remember, and host of the podcast " When We Speak". She is passionate about speaking about adult child trauma, suicide, and collective healing and liberation.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• The basic tenets of creating a safer space
• Why the goal of a harm-free space isn’t attainable, and why it matters more what happens when harm occurs
• Why creating safe spaces is a practice, not an end point
• Discerning the difference between discomfort and unsafety
• Breaking down the qualities and behaviors of an unsafe person or space
• How we can be unsafe to ourselves

Learn more about Tasha Hunter MSW, LCSW:

• Website
• Instagram: @tashahunterlcsw
• What Children Remember
• She Lives Her Truth
• When We Speak Podcast

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• How to Make Yourself an Unsafe Person
• We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman's Guide to Earning More, Building Wealth, and Gaining Economic Power, Rachel Rodgers
• All These Rivers and You Chose Love, Jaiya John
• The Altar Within: A Radical Devotional Guide to Liberate the Divine Self, Juliet Diaz
• "Be Easy," Alice Smith