What is your relationship with your anger? 

How much of your stress and exhaustion is fueled by repressed anger and rage? 

And how do you respond when those around you express anger?

Our experiences early in life, experiences at our places of work and education, and our conditioning from culture all play significant roles in how we view and respond to anger and rage within and around us. 

And for women–especially Black and brown women–we learn our anger and rage come off as unbecoming and distancing, which can be the death of a promotion, a deal, or financial advancement.

Many experience firsthand the negative impact of expressing our anger, which can bring about a dangerous backlash that can impact not only our well-being but also our safety. 

But when we shift the focus from seeing anger solely as dangerous or something to be feared and instead befriend and learn from it, so much changes in how we lead and do life.

Today’s guest wrote a beautifully written and well-cited book documenting the impact of suppressed rage in women on themselves and those around them. 

Soraya Chemaly is an award-winning author and activist. She writes and speaks frequently on topics related to gender norms, inclusivity, social justice, free speech, sexualized violence, and technology. She is the former Executive Director of The Representation Project and Director and Co-Founder of the Women’s Media Center Speech Project, and also the author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger, which was recognized as a Best Book of 2018 by the Washington Post, Fast Company, Psychology Today, and NPR.  

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How suppressing anger harms more than just the individual
• How rage is justified and tolerated differently for men and women
• How niceness and a focus on the feelings of others is socialized into girls from an early age
• The anger that hides underneath stress, disappointment, and other ways women minimize their anger
• The long-term impacts and risks of suppressed anger on physical and mental health

Learn more about Soraya Chemaly:

• Website
• Instagram: @sorayachemaly
• ​​Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Braving the Wilderness, Brené Brown
• Reproduction, Louisa Hall
• Do You Know Me By Heart, Cameron Avery
• James Blake - Say What You Will
• Imogen Heap - Hide And Seek