The Enneagram Edge with Host Tracy O’Malley

EP440: 13 Years Sober - 13 Life Lessons Sobriety Taught Me About Leadership, Legacy, & Owning Who the F*ck You Are


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Thirteen years ago, I woke up at rock bottom. I thought sobriety meant losing my fun, my freedom, my edge—but what it really gave me was everything I’d been craving: authenticity, alignment, and freedom. In this episode, I share the story of that turning point, the lessons sobriety has taught me, and how they apply to every single one of us—whether your vice is alcohol, people-pleasing, work, or relationships. These 13 truths will sharpen your edge and give you the clarity, courage, and integrity to live fully alive.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
  • The real story of my sober date and why it wasn’t my first attempt.
  • How codependency is the sneakiest, most polished addiction of all.
  • 13 powerful lessons sobriety has taught me about leadership, love, and life.
  • Why freedom—not control—is the sharpest edge you’ll ever carry.
  • How these truths apply far beyond sobriety to anything that’s keeping you stuck.
Key Takeaways (13 Lessons):
  1. Radical, compassionate honesty heals faster than any numbing ever will.
  2. Discomfort is a compass, not a curse. Growth happens in resistance.
  3. You don’t need numbing when you’re living in alignment.
  4. Discipline creates freedom, not restriction.
  5. Shame dies when it’s dragged into the light. Secrets keep you sick.
  6. Your edge comes from your scars, not your image.
  7. Self-leadership is the highest form of leadership.
  8. Numbing never fixes the pattern—it only swaps it out.
  9. Real connection requires real presence.
  10. Boundaries build bridges, not walls.
  11. The body keeps the score and the wisdom—learn to listen.
  12. Legacy isn’t what you build, it’s who you become.
  13. Freedom is the sharpest edge you’ll ever carry.
Quotes That Landed in My Bones:
  • “The thing I was most afraid to lose turned out to be the thing I gained the most: freedom.”
  • “Shame dies the second it’s spoken into the light.”
  • “Self-leadership is the highest form of leadership—if you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead anyone else.”
Try This This Week (Your EDGE Move):
Take one place in your life where you’re hiding, numbing, or half-living—and drag it into the light. Get radically honest with yourself about what it’s costing you. Then choose one small, disciplined action today that builds your freedom muscle.
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The Enneagram Edge with Host Tracy O’MalleyBy Tracy O'Malley

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