The moment you see insecurity as a predictable problem with a predictable solution, the game has changed in your favour forever!

As such, If I’m allowed to have a favourite part of my own book, this would be it:

“Your behaviour is not nearly as weird, broken, messy, or random as you think. Behaviour is simply the end of the assembly line produced by the factory of your beliefs. What’s more, your behaviour never lies. It is an incredibly accurate representation of your beliefs. People think they believe all kinds of wonderful things, but what must you believe in order to behave that way?

If you see that your behaviour is part of a well-constructed system, it takes all the mystery out of the process of self-awareness. System thinking turns the work of personal transformation into a clear scientific process. If our behaviour is a system, then there must be a design. If there is a design, then there is a strategy. If there is a strategy, there is an intention. If there is an intention, it can be observed. If it can be observed, it can be deconstructed. If it can be deconstructed, it can be changed. If it can be changed, it can be improved and reconstructed!

Of course, and you love this!

Of course, you are stuck, broke, unhappy, anxious, depressed, lonely, and/or overweight. What’s the problem? That’s the exact result you’ve designed your system to produce. At some point in time, to solve a problem or meet a need, you’ve created a strategy, designed a system and built a process to get you a clear result. Often that strategy is built around avoiding pain, being safe, or protecting yourself from what you are most afraid of. The point is, it is still working the way you designed it to. And it will continue to keep producing the same results until you change the blinkin’ thing. Of course!

There is no judgment here, but this system is not broken. To take this even further, part of you loves the exact results you are producing right now. When you are willing to stop pretending your results are such a mystery and start examining the system you have lovingly created for yourself, you give yourself an incredible amount of power to change these very results. You love this. If you didn’t, you would have already changed it.

People

Work

Perfectly.

You already are responsible.”

(Unhindered. The 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity. P.117-118)