Jonathan and Monica Pokluda join Derek and Gabrielle for a refreshingly honest conversation about marriage — the cycles, the conflict, and the slow, hard work of choosing to love. Together they unpack why criticism kills intimacy, how gratitude can transform your marriage faster than correction ever could, and what it practically looks like to encourage the change you desire in your spouse.

Discussion Questions

- In what ways have you slipped into a coaching or correcting posture with your spouse? What might it look like to lay that down?

- Are there ways you hold back affirmation from your spouse for a reason that sounds spiritual but may actually be creating distance?

- JP said "criticism is the enemy of intimacy." Do you agree? Where has criticism shown up in your marriage, and what has it cost you in closeness?

- JP said to pray daily that your love and attraction for your spouse would grow. How intentional is your prayer life for your marriage? What would it look like to make that a daily practice?

- Monica talked about looking back with gratitude when you feel stuck in a cycle — noticing how conflict looks different than it did 10 years ago. Where have you seen real growth in your marriage that you might be taking for granted?