In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott interview Greg and Erin Smalley about conflict and the myth that an absence of conflict means a couple must be healthy. We discuss what the Bible says about conflict and how healthy conflict repair can help us to be fully known and fully loved.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Do you believe that quarrels and conflict can help couples truly know each other better?

2. Are there areas of your marriage where you have avoided tough conversations and swept any issues under the rug?

3. How are the two of you different from one another when it comes to conflict?

4. How can you develop a posture of humility in your marriage?

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:28

James 4:1

1 Cor 13:6

Eph 4:29

Phil 2:3-4

Rom 12:18

MT 7:3-5

MT 18:15-17

1 Peter 5:5

Resources:

Greg and Erin’s Podcast - Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

Website - Focus on the Family

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the reactive cycle couples often get into with each other when their expectations aren’t met. We often fall into harmful patterns that can lead us to negative reactions in our marriage. What is this cycle and how do we get out of it?

Scriptures:

PR 15:1

Rom 12:2

Phil 4:8

Resources:

Hope Restored Marriage Intensive (from Focus on the Family)

The Reactive Cycle “Test” – through this brief assessment you can learn your marriage triggers and responses.

Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage, by Gary Thomas

Seven Primal Questions: Take Control Of The Hidden Forces That Drive You, by Mike Foster

Questions to Discuss:

1. What triggers your reactive cycle?

2. How can you increase the gap between a negative trigger and your response?

3. How can we avoid spiraling down into the reactive cycle?

It only comes one time every year, but it’s worth celebrating! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your wedding anniversary in a memorable and significant way.

Resources:

Blog Post – 30 Unique Ways to Celebrate Your Anniversary

Scripture:

Ephesians 5:31-32

1 Peter 3:7

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s your favorite party you’ve ever been to?

2. What are your expectations for your anniversary? Make sure you discuss what each of your expectations are for celebrating your anniversary.

3. Why is it important to celebrate your anniversary? Do you realize your marriage is intended to be a picture of God’s triune love?

4. Where do we want to be in our marriage on our 50th anniversary?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about what it means to overlook a small offense in marriage. When is it okay to overlook it and when do you need to address and discuss it?

Scriptures:

Proverbs 19:11

Romans 12:18

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Resources:

Harris Creek Conflict: Field Guide

Harris Creek Peacemaker Guide

More Than Roommates – Episode 44 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys You

Questions to Discuss:

1. What is your favorite Disney song?

2. How do you know whether you can overlook an offense from your spouse?

3. Why do we give more grace or more easily overlook an offense from a stranger than we do for our spouse?

4. Are you a peace faker, a peace breaker, or a peace maker?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Kyler and Britt Nixon about mutual respect in marriage. The Nixons primarily work with young couples, but this message is relevant for every couple. The Nixons provide practical ways to provide mutual respect in your marriage.

Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:33

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Romans 12:10

MT 7:12

Resources:

Follow Love Your First Year on Instagram!

Website – Love Your First Year

Online Course - Love Your First Year

Blog Post - The 5 Conflict Languages

Questions to Discuss:

1. How do you and your spouse make decisions? Do you make decisions together? How do you fight for alignment?

2. Why does it matter for you and your spouse to show each other respect?

3. How do you restore trust and respect when either has been broken?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discussing holidays, especially related to expectations around family and in-laws. How can you proactively address some of the challenges couples often face around holiday expectations?

Scriptures:

James 4:1

Matthew 7:12

Phil 2:3-4

Galatians 1:10

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s your favorite Holiday movie? Is Home Alone a Christmas movie? (Yes, of course it is!).

2. How can you fight back against selfishness during the holidays?

3. How can you and your spouse be peacemakers this holiday season?

Resources:

More Than Roommates - Episode 51 - How To Make This Your Best Holiday Season Yet (Part 1 in a 2-Part Series)

More Than Roommates – Episode 52 – How to Have the Best Holidays Yet With Your Family and In-Laws (Part 2 in a 2-Part Series)

Live from the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott respond to a testimony of infidelity shared live at the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference. We share some lessons learned on how to protect our marriages.

Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at harriscreek.org/events.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Romans 13:14

Luke 6:47-49

PS 16:11

MT 7:3-5

1 Tim 1:15

Questions to Discuss:

1. As we unpack Kevin & Kelli’s testimony, what stuck out to you from our observations?

2. What do you run to when you’re stressed in life and in marriage?

3. Who or what is the biggest problem in your marriage?

Resources:

More Than Roommates Episode 102 – A Story of Redemption and Forgiveness (feat. Kevin & Kelli Mainz)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we get to hear a testimony from Kevin & Kelli Mainz and their story of infidelity and recovery. While you may not have the same testimony as Kevin & Kelli, you can still learn from their mistakes and be encouraged by God’s faithfulness in their story.

Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at harriscreek.org/events.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What are you most encouraged by or challenged by in Kevin & Kelli’s testimony?

2.How have you experienced God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness in your life and in your marriage?

3. What story does your marriage tell? A story of brokenness or of redemption and healing?

Scriptures:

Romans 12:2

Deut 31:8

Rom 8:28

Ecc 9:9

PR 3:5-6

Isa 40:28-31

We are so excited about the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference on January 31-February 1, 2025 at Harris Creek! We'll have great teaching, breakouts, fun, and surprises as we seek to help couples take the next intentional step to become so much more than just roommates.

We hope to see you there! You can find all the details about the conference and sign-up to join us right here.

We sold out last year and we assume we will this year as well, so come join us while spots are available!

As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at [email protected]. Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.

In this special episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk Elections, Your Vote, and Your Marriage. We discuss whether you and your spouse should share who you’re voting for, how you can disagree well, and what to do if you disagree on who to vote for.

Scriptures:

MT 22:15-22

2 Cor 6:14

Ephesians 4:3-5

MT 5:13-16

Jeremiah 29:7

Romans 12:1-2

Eph 4:29

Questions to Discuss:

1. What are some disagreements that you and your spouse had in the past that are funny to look back on now?

2. How can you and your spouse disagree well to the glory of God?

3. What can kindness look like in your marriage even when you disagree with one another?

Resources:

Peace Talks Series – Part 1, Peace With God, Jonathan Pokluda

Podcast – Becoming Something – Episode 289 – Conspiracies and Candidates (feat. Jason Woodruff)

Podcast – The Pour Over, 2024 Election Topics Bonus Episodes

Instagram Post - The 11:05 Challenge