In this live recording of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott respond to John Elmore’s talk from the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference. We discuss some of the practical implications of the fact that Jesus is the composer, conductor, and canon of the melody of our marriages. If you haven’t listened to it yet, go ahead and listen to John’s message.

Questions to Discuss:

1. How can you make Jesus ultimate in your marriage?

2. How can you and your spouse become more dependent on the Lord in your life and in your marriage?

3. Because Jesus is the center of our lives and marriages, how can you be on mission together in your marriage?

Scriptures:

MT 6:33

2 Tim 2:4

Eph 4:2-3

John 15:5

Genesis 2:18

PR 27:6, 17

Acts 20:24

Resources:

MTR Episode 121 - Christ is the Melody of Your Marriage (feat. John Elmore)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, John Elmore shares an incredibly powerful message about how Jesus is to be the composer, the conductor, and the canon of the melody of our marriage. This talk was recorded live at the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek Baptist Church.

Scriptures:

Genesis 2:20b-25

Matthew 19:4-6

Colossians 3:18-19

John 17:17

Ephesians 5:22-33

Questions to Discuss:

1. Do you act like you’re the composer of your marriage, or do you acknowledge that Jesus is the composer of marriage?

2. How can you let Christ be the conductor of your marriage?

3. Take time to listen to Canon in D and pray for and reflect upon your marriage as John guides in the message.

Resources

This is an edited version of the talk. If you want to watch the video of the Melody talk, you can watch it through this link – Melody Video.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott & Kristen Kedersha discuss how to be in Harmony with one another in marriage. This talk was recorded live at the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek Baptist Church.

Scriptures:

John 15:5

Matthew 19:3-6

Ecc 9:9

Gen 2:18

Heb 10:24-25

Matthew 7:3-5

1 Corinthians 10:12

Questions to Discuss:

1. Of the 7 aspects of Harmony shared by Scott & Kristen, where are you doing well?

2. Of these 7 aspects of Harmony shared by Scott & Kristen, where are you struggling?

3. Ask each other the 7 tune-up questions shared throughout this talk.

Resources:

This is an edited/condensed version of the talk. If you want to watch the entirety of the Harmony message, you can watch it through this link - Harmony Video.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about the importance of good investments. There are many ways we can invest our time, money, and energy, and in this episode we discuss the importance of regularly investing in your marriage.

Resources:

Book - Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes... Everything, by Juli Slattery (release July 1, 2025)

MTR Episode 62 – Your Marriage and the Unhurried Life (feat. Chris Schultz)

MTR Episode 64 – Questions to Ask Your Spouse Every Week

MTR Episode 90 – Our Favorite Marriage Resources

Intentionality In Your Marriage – John & Pam McGee, Uncommon Marriage Conference 2022

Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:25

Matthew 6:21

Questions to Discuss:

What are some areas of your life where you invest your time, money, and energy?

How can you invest more time and energy in your marriage?

How can you invest more money in your marriage?

In Part 2 of their interview with Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how the little things truly matter in marriage. We discuss the importance of believing the best about our spouse and why we need a combination of quality and quantity time together.

Scriptures:

1 Peter 3:9

Rom 2:4

Phil 4:8

Questions to Discuss:

What are some small changes you can make in your marriage that could make a big difference?

How do you and your spouse do at believing the best about your spouse’s intentions?

How can you create more quality and quantity time together with your spouse?

Resources:

Book - The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti’s Website – Shaunti.com

Follow Shaunti on Instagram

Follow Brian on Instagram

Married With Benefits Podcast (FamilyLife Network)

Podcast - I Wish You Could Hear This with Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

In Part 1 of a 2-Part interview, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott interview Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins about the small things that make all the difference in marriage. In Part 1 we discuss the myth that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and why it’s  harmful to perpetuate this myth

Scriptures:

1 Cor 13:13

Hebrews 3:13

1 Cor 7:28

Questions to Discuss:

How can you build your sense of hope in your marriage?

What would you tell a young couple before they get married? How would you encourage or challenge them?

What are some ways you need to change the way you talk about marriage with others?

Resources:

Shaunti’s Website – Shaunti.com

Follow Shaunti on Instagram

Follow Brian on Instagram

Married With Benefits Podcast (FamilyLife Network)

Podcast - I Wish You Could Hear This with Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss the importance and centrality of serving your spouse in marriage when life is full and busy and when you don’t feel like it!

Scriptures:

Mark 10:45

Gal 5:13

Phil 2:1-11

Phil 1:27

1 Cor 13:6

1 Peter 3:7

Resources:

Book – Us in Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage, by Ted Lowe

More Than Roommates – Episode 16 – The Importance of Empathy in Marriage (feat. Ted Lowe)

Questions to Discuss:

1. What is the thing around the house you hate to do?

2. What is one thing your spouse hates to do around the house?

3. What Does It Look Like to Serve Each Other in Your Marriage?

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates (our last “Quickie”), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what’s next—what do you do with all that’s been shared in these 12 days of Quickie episodes. We also share some recommended resources to help you take the next step in your marriage and sexual intimacy.

Questions to Discuss:

Which episode of the 12 days of Quickies was most helpful to you?

What’s something you learned in this series that you want to apply in your marriage?

Are there some concepts discussed in these episodes that would be good to discuss with community to help encourage and challenge each other?

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Website – Authentic Intimacy

Podcast – Christian Sexuality – Java with Juli

Podcasts – The Naked Marriage Podcast with Dave & Ashley Willis and Marriage on the Line with Dave & Ashley

Book – A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds, by Douglas Rosenau

Book - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some frequently asked questions about sex, including questions about cussing in the bedroom, sexual abuse, can I say “No,” sex during menstruation, and more.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:1-5

Hebrews 13:4

Ephesians 4:29

Questions to Discuss:

How do you handle it in your marriage when one of you is in the mood for sex and the other isn’t?

Is there any part of your past/your story that would be helpful to discuss a counselor or doctor to get some help and guidance?

What questions do you still have about sex and marriage? Email them in to [email protected] for future episodes.

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Website – Authentic Intimacy

Ministry for those who have experienced sexual abuse – Courageous Hope at Harris Creek

Book – Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question about orgasms—for him, for her, and the elusive unicorn of mutual orgasm. We also discuss some common differences between the male and female orgasm.

Questions to Discuss:

Have you and your spouse discussed your expectations about how to please each other?

How can you take one step to help your spouse reach orgasm?

How do you do in giving feedback to each other in the bedroom?

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Podcast – The Naked Marriage Podcast – Should We Orgasm Together?

Website – Authentic Intimacy