In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss whether or not it’s within bounds to “have a quickie.” We discuss different ways to think about sex depending on your schedule and margin, and how to have a healthy rhythm of intimacy.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are you and your spouse on the same page when it comes to quickies?

2. How can you make space for more extended time for intimacy together?

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

The Naked Marriage Podcast

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss specific questions of what’s in and out of bounds in the bedroom. What does the Bible say about specific questions such as pornography, masturbation, positions, oral sex, and so much more. 

Scriptures:

Hebrews 13:4

1 Cor 6:18

Ephesians 5:3

MT 5:27-28

1 Cor 10:31

Questions to Discuss:

1. What are some ways you can honor your spouse and serve them in the bedroom? Discuss with one another.

2. Take a few moments to pray and ask God to help you honor God and your spouse when it comes to what’s in bounds and out of bounds. Pray for grace, patience, and tenderness with one another.

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some general principles of what’s in bounds and out of bounds in the bedroom. Sex cannot involve others besides your spouse (Matthew 5:27-28), cannot involve willingly hurting your spouse against their will (Philippians 2:3-4), and cannot violate your or your spouse’s conscience (Romans 14). Come back tomorrow as we get even more specific.

Scriptures:

MT 5:27-28

Phil 2:3-4

Rom 14

Questions to Discuss:

1. Have you and your spouse ever discussed what’s in bounds and out of bounds in your bedroom?

2. Take a few moments to pray and ask God to help you honor God and your spouse when it comes to what’s in bounds and out of bounds. Pray for grace, patience, and tenderness with one another.

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Let's talk about Sex! In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the importance of talking about sexual intimacy in marriage and why couples often struggle to discuss sex. Part of the reason why so many couples struggle in their sex life is because they don’t talk about it.

Scriptures:

Genesis 2:25

Ephesians 4:29

Questions to Discuss:

How do you and your spouse do at talking about sexual intimacy? Why is it sometimes challenging for you and your spouse to discuss sexual intimacy?

How can you and your spouse create a marriage where you are fully known and fully loved?

One of the best ways to help you communicate more effectively about sex is to read a book about sex together. We highly recommend the book Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta.

Write down 2-3 adjectives about how you feel about sex and marriage. Share your responses with your spouse. There’s no wrong answer!

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott kick-off a series of “quickies” about sex and the most frequently asked questions about marital sex and intimacy. In this first episode we discuss a Christian, biblical theology of sex—we want to help you think rightly about the gift of sex.

Scriptures:

Song of Solomon 1:2, 5:1

1 Corinthians 10:31

Phil 2:3-4

Genesis 2:24-25

Questions to Discuss:

Why do you think that sex is so significant in marriage/to married couples?

Do you believe God delights in you as a married couple when you’re sexually intimate together?

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how you can fight FOR (not against) your spouse. What does it look like to stand up for and defend them when they face unjustified criticism from someone else (i.e., parents, children, friends)?

Scriptures:

Genesis 2:24-25

Romans 12:19

Matthew 5:38-40

PR 26:4-5

MT 18:15-17

Hebrews 3:13

Questions to Discuss:

Do you have any hot takes that you’re willing to fight for/defend?

What does it look like to rightfully stand up and defend your spouse?

How do you know whether the best thing is to fight for your spouse or to just walk away?

Resources:

More Than Roommates - Episode 97 – Why Are In-Law Relationships Often So Challenging?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Layton & Chelsea Boeve from the Liberator Podcast as they share their story about pornography and how it’s affected their marriage. Layton and Chelsea share how their story has not become their ministry as they seek to help couples with similar stories.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 6:18

2 Timothy 1:7

Psalm 139:23-24

Resources:

Podcast – Liberator Podcast (with Layton & Chelsea)

Websites – Fight the New Drug and Truth About Porn

Study & Website – Beyond the Porn Phenomenon

Questions to Discuss:

What are some topics you don’t like to discuss with your spouse?

What encouraged you most from Layton & Chelsea’s story?

What steps are you taking in your marriage to fight temptations with lust and pornography?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, about pornography and its impact on the brain and how it affects marriages. This episode is Part 1 in a 2-part series about pornography and marriage.

Scriptures:

James 5:16

1 Cor 6:18

Resources:

Website - Pure Desire Ministries

Free Downloads - 7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma and 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Podcast – Pure Desire Ministries Podcast

Questions to Discuss:

What’d the goal and purpose of our sexuality? How does pornography work against God’s purposes?

How has pornography impacted your marriage?

What stood out to you from our interview with Nick?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the five love languages (as written by Dr. Gary Chapman) and how knowing our love languages allows us to better speak the love language of our spouse. When we know their love language, it gives us an opportunity serve our spouse in a way that honors them.

Scriptures:

1 Peter 3:7

Phil 2:3-4

Resources:

Book – The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Resource - 5 Love Languages Quiz

Blog Post - How You Can Date Your Spouse According To The 5 Love Languages

Questions to Discuss:

1. What language did you study in school?

2. What’s your love language? Your spouse’s love language? If you don’t know, take the quiz at the website listed above.

3. What’s one way you can speak your spouse’s love language today/this week?

Happy New Year! In this brief episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott briefly reflect on the last 12 months as we look backward on 2024 and forward to 2025 with gratitude.

Questions to Discuss:

What are you most grateful for from the past 12 months?

What are you most looking forward to in 2025?

How can you and your spouse cultivate a habit of gratitude for your lives and marriage?

Scriptures:

Joshua 4