Everything They Don't Tell You

Everything They Don't Tell You

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Everything They Don't Tell You episodes

  • The Magazine Reaching 100,000 Kids Who Were Never Told the Trades Were an Option | Kate Glantz

    How do you choose a career you've never been shown?

    Kate is the founder of Move Over Bob, a magazine putting stories of women in the skilled trades into the hands of hundreds of thousands of kids who were never even told it was an option. She is a human centered serial entrepreneur wrestling with the oldest tension there is: money versus meaning.

    She built village latrines in Tanzania before she even had the English words for what she was doing. She moved through a dozen industries looking for the one that not only mattered but could actually make a giant impact on the world. And then at 38 years old, she picked up a torch and finally found it.

    In this conversation, Kate walks through what it actually costs to build a business driven by impact instead of revenue, why girls are not searching for careers in the trades, and how the biggest barrier is not information but awareness. She explains why community is her North Star, why joy must come before success if you want to build anything that lasts, and how the skilled trades are not just a job but a lifestyle that deserves to be marketed like one.

    She also gets honest about the moment she realized her success in the Peace Corps was built on skills she could not even name in English, why she refuses to let money define her worth, and what it means to underestimate her at your own peril.

    This is not a conversation about workforce development or filling a pipeline. This is about liberation, self expression, and the willingness to build something that matters even when the path to profitability is not clear.

    In this episode:

    Why Kate joined the Peace Corps and what she learned building latrines in Tanzania
    How she managed construction projects without knowing the English words for what she was doing
    What it was like to live without indoor plumbing, electricity, or a toilet for over two years
    Why she almost died of malaria and watched some of her students die
    How the Peace Corps taught her to feel her feelings and sit with herself
    What it means to leave it better than you found it and have as much fun as you can along the way
    Why girls are not Googling how to become a construction worker
    How Move Over Bob magazine is a Trojan horse for getting the trades in front of kids
    Why the magazine is in print instead of digital and how that changes distribution
    What it costs to build a business driven by impact instead of revenue
    How Kate measures success when money is not her North Star
    Why she fired herself from Hollywood and spent 18 months building in public
    What confident misunderstanding is and why it is the biggest barrier to progress
    How PPE and apparel that actually fits women can change retention in the trades
    Why fashion and self expression matter more than people think
    What it means to be a sunny nihilist and why community is the only thing that matters
    How to build with joy even when your eyes are bloodshot and your carpal tunnel is flaring up
    Why underestimate me at your own peril is her favorite mantra

    Kate Glantz is the founder of Move Over Bob, a magazine and platform championing women in the skilled trades. She helps girls see careers they never knew existed and helps brands understand the economic power of tradeswomen.

    Learn more about Kate and Move Over Bob:
    Website: https://moveoverbob.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moveoverbob

    More episodes: https://ETDTY.com

    Underestimate me at your own peril.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: Underestimate Me at Your Own Peril
    • 00:01:24 From Tanzania to the Trades: Building Latrines Without the English Words
    • 00:02:22 The North Star: Women's Economic Independence Across Industries
    • 00:19:27 Building in Public: The Underrated Advantage of Community
    • 00:33:47 Money Versus Meaning: The Entrepreneur's Oldest Tension
    • 00:56:09 What Is Joy and How Do You Find It When Everything Sucks?
    • 01:09:41 Move Over Bob Magazine: Why Print in a Digital World?
    • 01:18:36 Girls Aren't Googling How to Be a Construction Worker
    • 01:30:19 The Confident Misunderstanding: What Men Get Wrong About Moving Over
    • 01:41:19 Underestimate Me at Your Own Peril: What Kate Is Trying to Prove

    #skilledtrades #womeninthetrdes #entrepreneurship #impact #community

    1 hr 51 min
  • World's #1 Negotiation Expert: The Skill That Changed Everything

    That conversation you're avoiding is still costing you. In resentment. In weak boundaries. In saying yes when you mean no.

    Kwame Christian built his career helping people stop running from those moments. He's the founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, a two-time bestselling author, and the host of the world's number one negotiation podcast. His work has reached more than 2.5 million people.

    But Kwame didn't start as a fearless negotiator. He started as a conflict-avoiding people pleaser who learned the hard way that every time he stood up for himself, he was casting a vote for the man he wanted to become.

    In this conversation, Kwame walks through what it actually costs to avoid difficult conversations, why being liked is not the same as being respected, and how the people around you benefit when you stay addicted to their validation. He explains why bullies are really just peacemakers in disguise, why the thing you want most is guarded by the conversation you least want to have, and how to stop giving away your power to people who don't have your best interests in mind.

    He also gets honest about the moment he realized his friends were disrespecting him the most, why family conversations are still the hardest ones he faces, and how to find the minimum effective dose of words that will get your point across without making everything worse.

    This is not a conversation about winning arguments or manipulating people. This is about clarity, courage, and the willingness to say what needs to be said even when your voice shakes.

    In this episode:

    Why Kwame became a recovering people pleaser
    The moment on the playground that shaped his entire identity
    How he became the most popular kid in school by sacrificing himself
    What his mentor told him about being liked versus being respected
    Why people pleasers are addicted to validation and everyone around them likes it
    How childhood survival strategies become adult maladaptive behaviors
    What neuroplasticity teaches us about changing our identity
    Why confident misunderstanding is the dysfunction of our time
    How to use compassionate curiosity to calm an angry person down
    The three-step framework for difficult conversations
    Why the amygdala and frontal lobe can't be activated at the same time
    How to acknowledge emotions without getting walked on
    What bullies are really doing when they attack you
    Why clear is kind and unclear is unkind
    How to fire someone in 30 seconds with respect
    What the 70-30 rule is and why you should speak less in negotiations
    Why questions are more persuasive than statements
    How to prepare for a difficult conversation in 24 hours or less
    What the shot clock mentality is and why waiting doesn't help
    Why the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life

    Kwame Christian is a business lawyer, the founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, and host of the Negotiate Anything podcast with over 1,800 episodes and 2.5 million downloads. He teaches leaders, entrepreneurs, and everyday people how to have the conversations they're most afraid of.


    Explore Kwame's courses and Kwame AI coach:
    https://kwamechristian.com/individualofferings
    Website: https://kwamechristian.com/


    More episodes: https://ETDTY.com

    The thing you want most is guarded by the conversation you least want to have.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: When You're Addicted to Validation
    • 00:03:26 The Kindergarten Moment That Changed Everything
    • 00:05:23 The Silent Sacrifices Nobody Sees
    • 00:07:35 When Adaptive Responses Become Maladaptive Patterns
    • 00:11:22 The Distraction Epidemic: Why We Can't Sit Still
    • 00:12:45 Neuroplasticity and the Identity Shift
    • 00:15:47 The Bench Press Metaphor: Training Your Brain
    • 00:19:47 The Seatbelt Standoff: Testing Your Relationships
    • 00:21:01 The Addiction Nobody Tells You to Stop
    • 00:23:45 The Bar Fight That Never Happened
    • 00:25:00 Questions Are More Persuasive Than Statements
    • 00:32:12 Whoever Needs the Deal Most Loses
    • 00:33:39 The Mimetic Desire Trap: Why We Want What We See
    • 00:36:53 Bigorexia and the Never-Ending Comparison Game
    • 00:40:32 The Angry Boss Role Play: Compassionate Curiosity in Action
    • 00:45:50 The Amygdala vs. Frontal Lobe Battle
    • 00:52:05 Bullies Are Peacemakers in Disguise
    • 00:54:46 The Kimbo Slice Principle: When Nothing Hurts
    • 00:58:41 Clear Is Kind: The Minimum Effective Dose
    • 01:00:10 The You're Fired Conversation
    • 01:03:30 Family Conversations: The Final Boss
    • 01:04:32 The Pressure Cooker Effect
    • 01:06:56 Finding Peace Before Creating Peace
    • 01:08:27 The Compassionate Curiosity Framework
    • 01:13:10 The Positive Cycle of Confidence
    • 01:15:26 The Thing You Want Most Is Guarded by the Conversation You Least Want to Have
    • 01:20:29 The 24-Hour Shot Clock
    • 01:22:10 The Harvard Longevity Study Secret

    #negotiation #communication #difficultconversations #leadership #peoplepleasing

    1 hr 25 min
  • The Youngest Geophysicist in Canada Who Gave Up Everything to Find What Actually Matters

    Most people think getting everything they wanted will finally make them happy.

    It doesn't.

    Jolene Goring was the youngest geophysicist in all of Canada. By 24, she had the career, the title, the luxury lifestyle, and the $8,000 outfits to prove she had made it. She stood on a street corner in Alberta one morning, calculated the worth of everything she was wearing, and thought: this is it. I've arrived.

    But instead of pride, she felt empty.

    That moment was the beginning of a pattern Jolene would repeat three times in her life. Walk away from success. Reinvent herself. Build something new. Realize it still wasn't right. And do it all over again.

    From oil and gas to Egypt during the Arab Spring revolt, from being temporarily homeless on a blow up mattress to building a health and wellness company in Arizona, from chasing achievement to hiking Mount Everest base camp and finally finding peace in the simplicity of exhaustion and tea, Jolene has lived more lives than most people ever consider.

    In this conversation, Jolene walks through what it actually costs to walk away from success when you realize the life you built no longer fits who you are. She explains why one of the toughest things in life is not failure but having success in something you no longer want to do, why our bodies know intuitively what is best for us if we stop long enough to listen, and how to create a life that feels as good inside as it looks outside.

    She also gets honest about the moment she was trapped during a revolution, the promise she made to herself that changed everything, why internal peace is the only thing worth chasing, and what it means to elevate everyday essentials so you stop living like a robot.

    This is not a conversation about quitting or giving up. This is about courage, awareness, and the willingness to stop lying to yourself about what you actually want.

    In this episode:

    Why Jolene became the youngest geophysicist in Canada
    The moment she realized success felt empty despite having everything
    How she walked away from oil and gas to follow her intuition
    What it was like to be trapped in Egypt during the Arab Spring revolt
    Why she heard people being killed outside her window at night
    The promise she made to herself that changed the direction of her life
    How a simple act of kindness with a security guard may have saved her life
    What it feels like to be temporarily homeless after having everything
    Why she moved to Arizona knowing nobody in an industry she knew nothing about
    How muscle testing reveals what your body intuitively knows
    Why confident misunderstanding keeps us from truly understanding each other
    What elevating everyday essentials means and how to do it
    The difference between escaping your life and chasing a new one
    Why fortune favors action and how to take the first step
    How hiking to Everest base camp taught her the lesson she had been missing her entire life
    What the yak pace is and why it matters
    Why internal peace is the only thing that actually fulfills you
    How to know who should have access to you and who shouldn't
    What it means to create a life that feels as good inside as it looks outside

    Jolene Goring is a health and wellness expert, author of Pretty: The Cost of Being Seen But Not Known, and creator of the Limitless Living course. She helps high achievers stop chasing external validation and start finding internal peace.

    Learn more about Jolene:
    Website: https://jolenegoring.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jolenegoring
    Book: Pretty: The Cost of Being Seen But Not Known

    If your life looks amazing but doesn't feel amazing, that is the most important thing you can ever admit to yourself.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: Bodies Know Intuitively What Is Best for Us
    • 00:00:32 The Youngest Geophysicist in Canada: Success Before 24
    • 00:02:20 The Moment Everything Changed: Standing on That Corner
    • 00:06:00 Growing Up on the Farm: The Foundation of Hard Work
    • 00:07:42 Zero to Seven: The Framework That Defines Us
    • 00:13:40 Fortune Favors Action: The ROI of Being Present
    • 00:14:19 The Physics Teacher Who Said Girls Don't Need Physics
    • 00:25:25 Egypt: Following Intuition to the Middle East
    • 00:44:47 The Arab Spring: Trapped in a Revolution
    • 00:49:18 The Security Guard Who Saved My Life: Simple Acts of Kindness
    • 00:52:03 Homeless in Canada: The Blow-Up Mattress on the Floor
    • 00:53:16 Arizona: Starting Over in Health and Wellness
    • 01:11:45 The Addiction to More: Accomplishment as an Empty Pursuit
    • 01:12:20 Mount Everest Base Camp: The Journey That Changed Everything
    • 01:14:05 Simplicity and Exhaustion: Finding Peace on the Mountain
    • 01:14:59 Coming Home: Crying in Bed for a Week
    • 01:15:53 Internal Peace: The Lesson That Took Three Times to Learn
    • 01:19:42 Stop Lying to Yourself: The First Step to Change
    • 01:27:40 Who Has Access to You: The Cost of Reinvention
    • 01:30:05 Pretty: The Book and the Course for Limitless Living

    #reinvention #success #fulfillment #purpose #innerpeace

    1 hr 34 min
  • The Soldier Who Flatlined Twice and Learned Adversity's Greatest Lesson | Marcus Aurelius Anderson

    Most people think they know who they are until adversity strips everything away.

    Marcus Aurelius Anderson was 39 years old, preparing to deploy with the U.S. Army Light Infantry, when a spinal injury left him paralyzed from the neck down. He flatlined twice in surgery. Doctors told him he would never walk again, never use his hands again, never do anything beyond what he was doing in that hospital bed.

    That was supposed to be the rest of his life.

    But Marcus did not just recover. He walked into the studio today. He became a bestselling author. He built a podcast called Acta Non Verba. And he learned something most people spend their entire lives avoiding: adversity is not the enemy. It is the teacher.

    In this conversation, Marcus walks through what it actually felt like to wake up paralyzed, why gratitude was the only thing that brought movement back to his body, and how surrendering completely was the beginning of his recovery. He explains why adversity does not care about your feelings, why most people confuse looking healthy with being healthy, and what happens when you stop waiting for permission to face the thing you have been avoiding.

    He also gets honest about identity, victimhood, the adversity scale, and why the hardest thing you will ever do is take yourself out of the equation.

    This is not a conversation about resilience as a buzzword. This is about what it actually takes to face the thing that scares you most and come out the other side stronger.

    In this episode:

    Why Marcus enlisted in the Army at 38 years old
    How a spinal injury left him paralyzed from the neck down
    What it felt like to wake up unable to move anything below his neck
    Why he flatlined twice in surgery and what the doctor told him when he woke up
    How denial, anger, and bargaining kept him stuck for months
    The moment he realized gratitude was the only way forward
    Why taking himself out of the equation changed everything
    How movement returned to his hands two weeks after radical gratitude
    What the adversity scale is and why perception is the real problem
    Why people who have been victimized never call themselves victims
    How to know when adversity is compounding instead of resolving
    Why everything happens for a reason is the worst thing you can say to someone in crisis
    What it means to seek adversity instead of avoiding it
    How to attack the top thing on your list in the next 24 hours
    Why proof was his fuel until it ran out
    What Acta Non Verba means and why actions matter more than words
    How Marcus finally stepped into the identity of his name after 40 years

    Marcus Aurelius Anderson is a speaker, author of The Gift of Adversity, and host of the podcast Acta Non Verba. He helps leaders, entrepreneurs, and warriors turn adversity into the catalyst for becoming who they were always meant to be.

    AUDIENCE GIVEAWAY FROM MARCUS'S TEAM
    The Acta Non Verba Inner Circle
    Join Marcus's Inner Circle for practical exercises, challenges, tactical insights, and prompts to help you turn ideas into action.
    https://www.marcusaureliusanderson.com/the-inner-circle

    Connect with Marcus:
    Website: https://www.marcusaureliusanderson.com/
    Acta Non Verba Inner Circle: https://www.marcusaureliusanderson.com/the-inner-circle
    Book discussed: The Gift of Adversity
    Podcast: Acta Non Verba

    Adversity does not care about your feelings, your opinions, or your plans. It just shows up. And you do not know who you are until it is there.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: Adversity Doesn't Care About Your Feelings
    • 00:01:23 The Old Guy Who Enlisted at 38
    • 00:03:25 The Morning Everything Changed: Paralyzed in Bed
    • 00:18:35 Flatlined Twice: The Doctor's Grim Prognosis
    • 00:21:18 The Five Stages of Grief: From Denial to Anger
    • 00:40:09 The Gift Nobody Wants: Finding Gratitude in Paralysis
    • 01:01:26 Everything Happens for a Reason: The Phrase That Makes Him Spit
    • 01:11:54 Adversity Avoided Is Adversity Compounded
    • 01:20:39 Seeking Adversity: The 24-Hour Challenge
    • 01:26:40 The 60-20-20 Rule: Why Most Days Are Just Okay
    • 01:29:05 Octa Non Verba: Actions Over Words
    • 01:35:10 The Message from the Hospital Bed: Surrender and Gratitude

    #adversity #resilience #gratitude #leadership #recovery

    1 hr 41 min
  • The Silent Epidemic: Why 1 in 3 Executives Suffer in Isolation | Nick Jonsson

    Most executives are carrying something they have never told a soul.

    Not their spouse. Not their business partner. Not their best friend.

    Nick Jonsson started as a construction painter in Sweden and climbed all the way to running companies across Asia. From the outside, he had won. Inside, he was terrified and completely isolated, drinking every day and running from things he could not even see.

    Then he lost a friend to suicide. Another successful executive who never asked for help.

    Today, Nick is sober. He is an Ironman. And he has spent years exposing one of the most dangerous lies in leadership: that the strongest person in the room should not need any help.

    In this conversation, Nick walks through what it costs to prove you are worthy when you do not feel worthy at all, how isolation becomes the default when you refuse to be vulnerable, and why the fuel that drives you to the top can be the same thing that destroys you when you get there.

    He explains why one in three executives suffer from executive loneliness, what happens when you finally say the thing you have been hiding, and how to build a life strong enough to carry the weight of your success.

    In this episode:

    Why Nick spent his life trying to prove he was worthy of attention
    How a motorcycle accident at 22 shattered his identity and forced him to rebuild
    What it felt like to move to Australia alone and fail his way through university
    How the anxious overachiever was born when he earned a scholarship he could not afford to lose
    Why he climbed the corporate ladder by himself and pushed everyone away
    What executive loneliness actually feels like from the inside
    How alcohol worked until it did not work anymore
    The moment he told his future wife he thought he was dying
    Why he could not stop drinking even when he promised he would
    How a detox and a recovery community saved his life
    What it means to practice your vulnerability muscle
    Why his friend died of suicide and how it changed everything
    How he went from hiding his story to speaking about it on live TV in 24 hours
    What Steve Jobs did with his coach when he had one year to live
    Why the strongest thing you can ever do is say the sentence you never thought you would say
    How to stop carrying secrets that are slowly destroying you

    Nick Jonsson is a speaker, author, therapist, and founder of a men's community dedicated to ending executive loneliness. He helps leaders stop suffering in silence and start building the support systems they need before it is too late.

    Learn more about Nick:
    https://nickjonsson.com
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/nickjonsson/

    Executive Loneliness book: https://www.nickjonsson.com/executive-loneliness-book

    If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is free, confidential, and available 24/7.

    A problem shared is a problem halved.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: The Silence Most Executives Are Carrying
    • 00:01:57 The Three-Year-Old Who Lost Attention: Where It All Began
    • 00:07:40 From Naughty Boy to Bike Gang: Screaming for Belongingness
    • 00:10:54 The Accident That Changed Everything: When Your Identity Shatters
    • 00:16:46 The Anxious Overachiever Is Born: Scholarships and Survival
    • 00:19:54 Climbing the Corporate Ladder: My Way or the Highway Leadership
    • 00:22:11 The Excel Formula That Nearly Broke Me: When Small Secrets Become Crushing Weight
    • 00:29:34 The Delusion of Escape: Resigning into Startups and Divorce
    • 00:33:32 The Conversation That Saved My Life: If We're Getting Married, I Need to Talk
    • 00:37:32 May 1st: The Day I Tried to Stop and Failed
    • 00:39:11 The Recovery Room: Finding Hope in Other Executives' Stories
    • 00:45:18 The Friend Who Never Asked for Help: When Success Hides Desperation
    • 00:47:27 The Video That Went Viral: Racing to End Executive Loneliness
    • 00:50:17 One in Three: The Silent Epidemic No One Talks About
    • 00:58:33 The Childhood Album: Discovering Who You Were Before Society Told You Who to Be
    • 00:59:37 What If You Had Nothing Left to Prove? The Question That Changes Everything
    • 01:04:21 The Teenager on a Road Trip: What Nick Wants Now
    • 01:07:47 The Five-Step Formula: From Rock Bottom to Purpose
    • 01:10:20 The Managing Director Who Rehearsed Her Suicide Twice
    • 01:14:23 The Daily Amends: Cleaning Your Side of the Street Before Bed

    #executiveloneliness #mentalhealth #leadership #vulnerability #recovery

    1 hr 17 min
  • The 20 Year-Old Who Built Seven Businesses (And Made Forbes 30 Under 30) | Dylan Capshaw

    Most people wait until they feel qualified to start.

    Dylan Capshaw started before the world had any reason to think he was qualified at all.

    At 11 years old, he launched his first venture, a wildlife rescue that taught him the fundamentals of running a business. By 16, he opened Stemistry, a brick and mortar flower bar and coffee shop, becoming one of the youngest retail owners in the country. Today, at 20 years old, he has built or acquired seven ventures across retail, hospitality, nonprofits, and software, and was named to the Forbes 30 under 30 list.

    But what makes Dylan's story remarkable is not just how young he started. It's that he did it without waiting for permission.

    While most of us spend years convincing ourselves the timing is not right, Dylan was already building. While others wait for approval, Dylan was learning through failure. While the rest of us overthink the first step, Dylan was already ten steps ahead.

    In this conversation, Dylan walks through what it actually takes to start before you are ready, how he leads people twice his age, why he hires people smarter than him, and what happens when your back is against the wall and you have no choice but to figure it out.

    He also gets honest about the cost of building multiple businesses at once, the voices that still try to sabotage him, why discipline matters more than motivation, and what he learned from losing control of one of his own stores.

    This is not a conversation about hustle culture or grinding yourself into the ground. This is about clarity, persistence, and the willingness to take the first step even when no one is watching.

    In this episode:

    How Dylan started his first business at 11 years old
    Why his parents let him raise exotic animals in their backyard
    What a wildlife rescue taught him about running a real business
    How he launched a flower business with zero dollars and zero experience
    Why he started hiring employees at 15 years old
    What it feels like to interview people twice your age
    How he lost control of one of his own stores and what he did to fix it
    Why delegation was his biggest blind spot
    The difference between faking it till you make it and actually learning
    What happens when your staff turns against you
    How he handles imposter syndrome as a 20 year old CEO
    Why he only hires people smarter than him
    What fortune favors action really means
    How to know when to pivot versus when to stay persistent
    Why discipline will always matter more than motivation
    What the graveyard is the best place for ideas actually means
    How to balance college, social life, and running multiple businesses
    Why he does not chase money or status
    What one life means to him and why it drives everything he does

    Dylan Capshaw is a 20 year old entrepreneur, Forbes 30 under 30 honoree, and founder of Stemistry, a flower bar and coffee shop with locations in Old Town Scottsdale and Downtown Phoenix. He also runs the Wild West Party Bus and continues to build businesses across multiple industries.

    Learn more about Dylan:
    https://dylancapshaw.com/
    https://www.instagram.com/dylan.capshaw

    Nobody needs to give you permission to start. Timing is never right. You just have to take the first step and go for it.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: One Life, Running Towards Goals Like We're On Fire
    • 00:01:13 The Journey Begins: From Wildlife Rescue to Business at 11 Years Old
    • 00:06:44 COVID Pivot: Building a Flower Empire from the Backyard
    • 00:10:58 Why Wait? Nobody Needs to Give You Permission to Start
    • 00:15:41 The College Decision: When Your Parents Finally Cave
    • 00:20:12 Fortune Favors Action: Effort vs Results
    • 00:33:39 Hiring People Twice Your Age: The Challenge of Young Leadership
    • 00:46:02 The Rogue Store: When You Lose Control of Your Own Business
    • 01:06:45 The Voices That Try to Sabotage You
    • 01:21:18 One Life: Why We Should Run Towards Our Goals Like We're On Fire
    • 01:26:38 When to Quit: Persistence vs Knowing When to Pivot

    #entrepreneurship #youngentrepreneur #business #leadership #forbes30under30

    1 hr 31 min
  • The Blind Spot Holding Back Your Business and Relationships | Greg McKeown

    Most people think they understand each other.

    They don't.

    Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism and Effortless, has spent years teaching millions of people to do less but better. But lately, he's been wrestling with something even more fundamental than prioritization.

    He calls it confident misunderstanding.

    And once you see it, you start seeing it everywhere. In leadership, at home, in negotiation, in conflict. The gap between what we think we understand and what we actually understand is not 2x. It's 20x.

    In this conversation, Greg breaks down the research that proves we are catastrophically bad at understanding each other, why this is the priority bottleneck holding back your business and relationships, and how one CEO turned a $350 billion company into a $3.5 trillion company by mastering a single skill: becoming a signalist.

    Greg explains why the signal is being drowned out by noise, why most people confuse active listening with actually understanding, and how to create the space between agreement and disagreement where transformation happens.

    This is not about communication tactics. This is about the pivot upon which everything turns.

    In this episode:

    Why confident misunderstanding is the dysfunction of our times
    The tapping experiment that reveals how wrong we are about being understood
    How Microsoft went from flat to $3.5 trillion under Satya Nadella
    Why the signal is being drowned out in every conversation you have
    The one rule that cuts through polarization in under two hours
    How to establish the space where understanding becomes possible
    Why active listening is overrated and what to do instead
    The signalist loop: listen, reflect, speak, confirm
    How one interrogator found Saddam Hussein in five months using a new communication game
    Why listening is not about being understanding but about understanding
    The seven words that will stop any argument: let me see if I understand you
    How to pinpoint the red button issue that's keeping someone stuck
    Why your teenager doesn't actually want to quit high school
    How a professor stayed frozen for three years because of a corrupted meaning frame
    Why courage is required to hold space for what you don't want to hear
    How to metabolize your life instead of letting experiences metastasize
    What Greg learned from 40 years of conversation with his best friend
    Why the space between right and wrong is where everything transforms

    Greg McKeown is the author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less and Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most. He recently completed a doctorate at the University of Cambridge studying the priority bottleneck that keeps people from living essentialist lives.

    Learn more about Greg:
    https://gregmckeown.com/

    Really understanding each other is the pivot upon which everything turns. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, everything is.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: The Pivot Upon Which Everything Turns
    • 00:01:25 The Paradox of Success: When More Becomes the Enemy
    • 00:07:33 The Tapper and Listener Experiment: A 20x Gap in Understanding
    • 00:09:28 Confident Misunderstanding: The Priority Bottleneck Holding Everything Back
    • 00:13:00 The Microsoft Story: How One CEO Created $3 Trillion in Value
    • 00:23:35 Carl Rogers and the Lost Technology of Understanding
    • 00:34:48 The Age of Disorientation: Why Social Media Has Weaponized Misunderstanding
    • 00:44:05 The Courage to Create Space Between Right and Wrong
    • 00:56:33 The Signalist Loop: Listen, Reflect, Speak, Confirm
    • 01:00:33 The Three-Year Freeze: Unlocking a Professor's Red Button Issue
    • 01:08:55 Eric Maddox and Finding Saddam Hussein: From 4% to 65% Success
    • 01:16:51 Let Me See If I Understand You: Seven Words That Change Everything
    • 01:19:12 Journaling as Signal Discovery: What, So What, Now What
    • 01:24:30 The Field Beyond Right-Doing and Wrong-Doing: A 40-Year Conversation
    • 01:29:00 Without It Nothing Is Possible, With It Everything Is

    #leadership #communication #essentialism #understanding #relationships

    1 hr 34 min
  • How Abandonment Built a Top 1% Mortgage Producer | Denise Donoghue

    Most people who lose everything as a teenager spend the rest of their lives terrified it will happen again.

    Denise Donoghue turned that terror into fuel.

    At 17, she came home from school to find everything she owned sitting on the front lawn. Her mattress. Her clothes. Her stuffed animal. All of it thrown across the grass for the entire neighborhood to see.

    The bank had foreclosed on the house her dad owned for 26 years. She had no idea that was even possible.

    That moment changed everything.

    But the foreclosure was not the first time Denise learned that security could disappear. Her mom left when she was eight years old after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Her dad got custody, inherited half a million dollars, and spent it all in four years. Then when Denise was 20, he left too. Wrote a letter, moved to the Philippines, and never came back.

    She was raised by abandonment, humiliation, and a father who taught her resilience through verbal and physical abuse. So she did what high achievers do when love feels unreliable: she went all in on what she could control.

    Business could not hurt her. Money could not leave her. So she built both.

    Today, Denise is a top 1% mortgage producer in the United States and the founder of Mortgage Nerd Academy, where she teaches loan officers how to educate families on financial strategy so they never lose their homes the way she did.

    But success built on survival comes with a cost. In this conversation, Denise walks through the moment she realized her obsession with control was keeping her from the life she actually wanted, why resilience can become self-destructive, and how she learned to trust people again after spending most of her life proving she did not need anyone.

    In this episode:

    The day Denise came home to find all her belongings on the front lawn
    Why her mom lost custody when Denise was eight years old
    How her dad spent half a million dollars in four years
    What it felt like to be abandoned by both parents
    Why she stopped trusting men and relationships entirely
    How business became the one thing she could control
    The moment she got shingles at 29 and her doctor told her stress was destroying her body
    Why she told her husband no the first time he proposed
    How three years of infertility forced her to face what she was actually chasing
    What her husband said that finally broke through her walls
    Why she built Mortgage Nerd Academy to stop loan officers from getting ripped off by outdated coaches
    How productivity can become a drug that keeps you from the life you want
    Why candor is kindness and conflict builds trust
    What would change if you had nothing to prove
    How to know when delegation is the right move
    Why your mess is just as messy as everyone else's

    Denise Donoghue is a top 1% mortgage producer, founder of Mortgage Nerd Academy, and a relentless advocate for financial education. She teaches loan officers and families how to make smarter financial decisions so they never lose their homes the way she did.

    Learn more about Denise:

    https://mortgagenerdacademy.com/
    https://www.instagram.com/themortgagenerd/

    If you are alive today, you are undefeated.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: If You're Alive Today, You're Undefeated
    • 00:01:46 The Day Everything Changed: Foreclosure at 17
    • 00:02:12 Abandoned Twice: When Both Parents Left
    • 00:16:26 Learning to Love Yourself When No One Else Does
    • 00:20:23 The $3,000 That Ended a Relationship
    • 00:32:40 Building the Airplane in the Air: Embracing Fear
    • 00:40:19 Control: When Your Superpower Becomes Your Prison
    • 00:42:35 From Loan Officer to Teacher: The Mortgage Nerd Academy
    • 00:50:39 The Wake-Up Call: Shingles at 29
    • 00:56:34 The Partner Who Wouldn't Let Her Bullshit Herself
    • 01:01:20 Candor Is Kindness: Building a Culture of Truth
    • 01:06:02 Time Flies, Who's the Captain? Taking Responsibility
    • 01:07:06 What Would Your Life Look Like With Nothing to Prove?
    • 01:09:02 The First Thing Every Business Owner Should Delegate
    • 01:15:07 You Can Be Both: Mom and Badass Business Owner

    #resilience #entrepreneurship #mortgages #financialeducation #leadership

    1 hr 18 min
  • Why Traditional Addiction Treatment Fails 95% of People (And What Actually Works) | Hamilton Baden

    Most people who struggle with addiction never get help.

    Not because they don't want it.

    Because the only help they're offered requires them to quit immediately, admit they're powerless, and commit to never drinking or using again for the rest of their lives.

    And if they're not ready for that, the system says: come back when you hit rock bottom.

    Hamilton Baden built a career leading sales for one of the largest specialty pharmacies in the country. He was successful, respected, winning by every external measure. And the entire time, he was quietly losing his battle with alcohol.

    He knew he had a problem for 22 years before he finally raised his hand and asked for help. The day he walked into treatment was both the best and the worst day of his life.

    Today, Hamilton runs Youturn Health, a company built around one uncomfortable truth: 95% of people who struggle with addiction or mental health issues will never enter traditional clinical treatment. His model doesn't wait for people to be ready. It meets them where they are, removes the fear, and refuses to let them fail.

    In this conversation, Hamilton walks through the neurobiology of addiction, why traditional treatment only works for a small percentage of people, and what actually changes when you stop waiting for someone to have a moment of clarity and start showing up for them before they're ready.

    In this episode:

    Why Hamilton drank every night for years and still showed up to work like a normal person
    How his dopamine levels spiked to 24 when a normal person's goes to 11
    The moment in treatment when he finally admitted he was an alcoholic
    Why his wife wanted him to quit drinking but didn't understand he was incapable of drinking like her
    The three gaps in traditional addiction treatment that leave 95% of people behind
    Why telling someone to hit rock bottom before getting help is dangerous and outdated
    How fentanyl changed everything about the way we have to approach addiction
    The rat study that proves the opposite of addiction is community, not willpower
    Why peer support works when clinical treatment doesn't
    How Youturn Health flips the responsibility from the person struggling to the coach supporting them
    The 18 year old girl who wasn't ready to quit fentanyl but stayed alive because someone refused to give up on her
    Why some treatment centers fired Youturn Health after their relapse rates dropped
    What leaders and managers should do when someone on their team is struggling
    How to intervene when someone mentions suicide and why you don't need to be trained to help
    Why Hamilton wouldn't change a single thing about his story, even the hardest parts

    Hamilton Baden is the co-founder of Youturn Health, a peer support platform that closes the gaps in traditional addiction and mental health treatment by meeting people where they are and refusing to let them fail.

    Learn more about Hamilton and YouTurn Health:
    https://youturnhealth.com/

    If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is free, confidential, and available 24/7.

    This episode is for educational and entertainment purposes and does not replace individualized medical or mental health advice. Consult a qualified healthcare professional before changing medications, supplements, or treatment protocols.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: The Best and Worst Day of His Life
    • 00:07:05 The Neurobiology of Addiction: Why He Couldn't Drink Like a Normal Person
    • 00:14:50 When Your Life Revolves Around Alcohol
    • 00:16:36 The Most Dangerous Place for an Addict: Success
    • 00:20:20 The Moment of Clarity That Changed Everything
    • 00:30:05 The Three Gaps Traditional Treatment Fails to Address
    • 00:44:24 Meeting People Where They Are: The U-Turn Health Model
    • 00:57:50 The Story That Proves Everything: Saving an 18-Year-Old on the Streets
    • 01:15:12 Suicide Prevention: Your Duty to Intervene
    • 01:21:42 What Leaders Should Do When Someone on Their Team Is Struggling
    • 01:29:33 The Separation That Almost Ended His Marriage
    • 01:32:38 The Biggest Misperception and Where to Find Help

    #addiction #mentalhealth #recovery #leadership #etdty

    1 hr 37 min
  • How to Be the Robot Overlord: Kevin Surace on Surviving the AI Revolution

    Everybody has an opinion about AI right now.

    Most of them are guessing.

    Kevin Surace is not guessing.

    He holds 95 patents and was building AI virtual assistants 30 years ago, long before Siri, years before ChatGPT and Claude, back when the entire idea sounded like science fiction.

    So when he tells you what is coming, he is not reacting to the headlines. He has already spent decades watching the future arrive.

    And he is not scared. He is encouraged.

    But here is the part that surprised me: the man who spent 30 years building the machines is now writing a book about joy. Not productivity. Not efficiency. Joy.

    In this conversation, Kevin explains why AI is not coming for your job unless you refuse to use it, why the people who embrace AI become more valuable rather than less, and why the real threat is not automation but complacency.

    He also shares what he has learned about success, failure, humility, and why joy must come before success if you want to build anything that lasts.

    In this episode:

    Why Kevin built AI virtual assistants in 1998 and what the world was not ready for
    How 3.5 million people used voice assistants before the iPhone existed
    Why the patents Kevin filed decades ago became the foundation for Siri and Alexa
    What happens when you invent something the world is not psychologically or financially ready to adopt
    Why autonomous vehicles are 97% safer than human drivers but we still fear them
    How critical thinking reveals what fear and headlines obscure
    Why AI takes away joyless work, not jobs
    The macro workforce problem nobody is talking about
    How coders who use AI go 10 to 100 times faster and why that does not mean layoffs
    Who gets fired and who becomes indispensable in the age of AI
    Why taste, judgment, and experience are the skills that matter most now
    What Kevin told his HR director when she said using AI could get her fired
    How humanoid robots will learn by reinforcement and why that changes everything
    Why complaining 100 times a day keeps you stuck at zero
    The one complaint a day rule and how it rewires your brain
    Why joy leads to success, not the other way around
    How to find joy in firing someone, sweeping the floor, or failing
    Why some people need to be blessed out of your life
    What humility taught Kevin that ambition could not
    How to become the robot overlord instead of being replaced by one

    Kevin Surace is an inventor, entrepreneur, speaker, and author of The Joyous Success Cycle, with a foreword by Goldie Hawn. His work spans AI, robotics, sustainability, and biometric authentication.

    Learn more about Kevin:
    https://kevinsurace.com
    https://joysuccesscycle.com

    If you want to keep your job, the best thing you can do is be the robot overlord.

    Chapters

    Chapters
    • 00:00:00 Introduction: The Robot Overlord
    • 00:01:05 The Man Behind 95 Patents
    • 00:04:15 Building AI Virtual Assistants in 1998
    • 00:08:20 Why the World Wasn't Ready
    • 00:14:20 The Future Is Already Here
    • 00:21:13 AI Is Not Coming for Your Job
    • 00:24:56 Be the Robot Overlord or Be Replaced
    • 00:26:23 What Actually Worries Kevin About AI
    • 00:36:46 The Skills That Become More Valuable
    • 00:42:24 The Joy Success Cycle
    • 00:50:31 Finding Joy in Every Moment
    • 00:57:36 Bless the Joy Killers Out of Your Life
    • 01:00:09 AI Won't Kill Your Critical Thinking
    • 01:04:19 Be Humble and Stay Curious
    • 01:08:42 Who You Can Become When You Use AI

    #AI #automation #innovation #joy #leadership

    1 hr 12 min

About Everything They Don't Tell You

From the publisher's feed

Everything They Don’t Tell You is candid business podcast for growth-minded leaders and entrepreneurs focused on the truth about business, leadership, and becoming who you're meant to be. Hosted by Josh Zolin, Everything They Don't Tell You goes beyond surface tips to the mental, emotional, and human challenges behind scaling and leading well. Featuring conversations with John Lee Dumas, Amy Morin, David Meltzer, Dr. Gay Hendricks, Blake Erickson, Dr. Robert Glover, Ken Rusk, and more.

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