Ex-Gifted

With social media and advertisers spending billions to buy as much of our attention as they can, we owe it to ourselves to learn how to hold onto some of it to invest in ourselves.

If you find that your attention is harder to hang onto even than it is normally, you might need an Attention Reset. These are the things I do to hold onto more of that most valuable asset I own - my attention. 

I go over rules for a short but strict reset period, and also changes that I try to carry through in my everyday life that have helped me reclaim my attention to use for my own benefit. 

Everyday Rules

1. No screens within 1 hour of waking up
2. No screens while eating
3. No screens (except Kindle) on the toilet
4. No screens/speakers in the shower
5. No screens except Kindle within 1 hour of bedtime
6. Timer on for mobile games
7. Timer on for social media

Reset Week 1 (strict)

1. No audiobooks or TV
2. No screens on walks
3. No video games
4. No YouTube
5. Kindle okay
6. No social media

Reset Week 2 (relaxed)

1. No screens on walks except walking brainstorm
2. Audiobooks okay
3. 1 hour of TV/day
4. No mobile games except sudoku, crossword, chess
5. 1 hour (timed) for video games
6. Educational Youtube only - with timer on
7. No facebook. Instagram only for work (timer on)

Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It’s been redesigned and I’m posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I’m hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they’re currently active!

I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff.

The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub.

Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month!

And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!

My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I’m having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.

You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.

—

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage...

There comes a point in April when I...just...can't....

In March I'm hit with some new spring energy and I do so many things and then suddenly I find myself wading through molasses and everything just seems harder than it normally is. My normal flow slows to a standstill.

And yet it always comes as a surprise to me.

Part of embracing my chaotic nature means not fighting against the fact that my life goes in cycles and I can't be on in the same way all the time.

Here are some things I do when things start to slow down for me:

1. Remind myself "I can stand up." I pick the smallest step I can take toward my goals and do just that one small thing. Usually this makes following steps a lot easier.
2. Instead of trying (and failing) to talk myself into something, I take some advice from Mel Robbins and count down from 5, then go ahead and get moving.
3. For things that just aren't working, I practice productive procrastination and do something else instead. Letting my chaos demon take the steering wheel for a bit - instead of thinking about how I can't do the thing I should do or distracting myself with social media - means that I take some action on something important to me. Even though it's not the thing I thought I should be doing.

Check out my Ko-Fi page! It’s been redesigned and I’m posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I’m hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they’re currently active!

I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff.

The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub.

Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month!

And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!

Find it all at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza

My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I’m having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.

You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and

Ex-Gifted is now the Chaotic Organized podcast. But still called "Ex-Gifted"!

I'm still going to be all about executive dysfunction and telling the story of how I'm working to get my shit together on a daily basis so that you can hopefully learn from my mistakes (hey now - my successes too!)

Please recommend it to any of your friends who can relate to the experience of being neurodivergent - or frankly just different - and not understanding how adults are supposed to do all of these things in the few short hours we have in the day.

The biggest difference from when I started this podcast a year ago is that I've learned that I'm more successful when I have robust structures in place and also I lean heavily on what my chaos brain is good at. I'm not trying to shut up my chaos demon, or shut it down. I'm letting it run wild within a contained space. Am I bring a parent to my brain? This just sounds like parenting...

My chaos brain is great at coming with all kinds of cool ideas and it's really powerful when it's allowed to chase rabbits down their holes as it wants, but without the organized side, the chaotic side doesn't really get anything done. And that's where I'm going with the podcast - the systems and structures that allow me to actually get shit done, but the passion and power my chaos demon provides.

And don't worry, yes, I'll talk you through those systems, even if you don't podcast yourself, the point is just in building the structure to apply it to your own life.

Since your own chaos brain might not be exactly in sync with mine, I'm also starting up a catalog that allows you to go through your own interests on demand. Follow your own Chaos Brain's interests and don't worry about doing it on my time!

Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month!

---

Check out my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active!

I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff.

The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub.

And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!

Find it all at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza

My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point - I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.

You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and http://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.

---

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: 

Listen to the Power of Yet

Check out my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! 

I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, including video episodes of the podcast. And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! 

My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point - I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. 

Find me at https://chaoticorganized.com or at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Topic: You have a fixed mindset or a limiting belief in at least one area.

What can we do about it?

Just add “yet”

Appending the word “yet” to the end of your limiting beliefs takes a limitation you identify with, and puts the tiniest pit of space between you and it. It provides just a sliver of an opening that, with more work, can be the key to unlocking that door.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Sorry I've been MIA! Guess what? Having your brain treat you like an asshole is normal. It happens to all of us at some point in time (some more than others.) That's okay! What's important is to move forward anyway.

New episodes of Ex-Gifted resume Feb 25, 2022!

Support the show at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza for as little as $1/month

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Get the Roleplanning System at ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop in order to get help defining your values and then actually living up to them. 3 months of support in the Quest for Chaos is included. Use code DORMANT for 15% off.

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram @exgiftedcast

Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Topic: Who are you?

Identity is a deeply complicated topic, and who you are is further complicated through the process of growth. Many people want to fix themselves while others just want to be true to themselves, without even knowing what that means or how to do it. Can you be true to yourself if you don’t always say what you think out of fear of hurting someone? What about the parts of yourself you don’t like? Should you learn to like them, or learn to change them? Or just keep on hating yourself and wish you were different?

What can we do about it?

• Choose who you want to be, intentionally
• Be that person
• If that sounds hard, then join the Quest for chaos at https://ko-fi.com/s/3d3ac346fe 

We are defined not by any one moment in time, but our path over a lifetime. This means you can be whoever you want, by taking your chosen path. If you don’t choose, that is itself a choice to continue on whatever is in front of you at the moment, and it might mean going in circles.

Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

The Roleplanning System is made with this need for reflection built in! The 13-week calendar gives you the opportunity every 3 months to set your priorities all over again.

And the hourly layout allows you the option to schedule in down time and sleeping hours every day. 

Get the Roleplanning System at ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop

Use code DORMANT for a 15% discount through the end of 2021

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Topic: We have a tendency to always want to be growing and improving, but that pace leads to burnout.

What can we do about it?

• Take a break every couple of months or when we reach a major milestone to rest and reflect on our priorities
• Add downtime to our schedules every day
• Schedule our sleeping hours

Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Featured this episode:

Insight Timer

References:

https://www.brown.edu/research/labs/britton/research/varieties-contemplative-experience

https://www.pacesconnection.com/blog/meditation-may-aggravate-trauma-mindful-action-is-a-better-alternative

https://journals.aom.org/doi/full/10.5465/amd.2017.0033 “individuals with a high learning goal orientation (LGO), high need for cognition (NOC), high openness to experience, and high internal locus of control (LOC) showed a significant increase in creativity when feeling bored” (sound like anyone you know?)

Donate at ko-fi.com/reneliza

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Topic: A mind that is too loud to enjoy meditation

For ADHDers and the rest of my chaos-brain friends, when the world gets quiet is usually when our brains get loudest. There is no greater distraction than my own brain when nothing else is going on.

What can we do about it?

If you’ve always wished that meditation could work for you, there are plenty of alternatives to the stereotypical sit-in-silence type portrayed in popular culture. Some of them are probably things that you already do without even realizing.

• Guided Meditation
• Walking Meditation
• Focused or mindful journaling
• Focused or mindful action

Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety...