Ex-Gifted

Preorder the Roleplanning System and enroll in the Quest for Chaos!

Get Labyrinthos and get started with tarot for free!

Some witchy accounts to follow on YouTube:

Kelly-Ann Maddox

The Witches’ Cookery 

Rachael Stephen

The Witch of Wonderlust

But exactly who you want to follow will depend on what you want to learn! My list has an obvious European bent due to that being my focus. If you have witchy friends, ask them for resources!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Topic: A lifetime of distancing yourself from anything that doesn’t make immediate logical sense, separating you not only from spirit and magic, but your own emotions as well. You want to open yourself up to new beliefs but aren’t sure where to start.

What can we do about it?

• Replace skepticism with curiosity. 
• Research areas of magic that are interesting to you. 
• Try tarot cards as a sort of magic for beginners. (It’s a minute to learn but a lifetime to master!)

Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted to talk more about growth mindset.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Support the show...

Download the thought ladder at exgifted.com/thoughts

Find the Unfuck Your Brain podcast by Kara Lowenthiel at unfuckyourbrain.com or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

Get video versions of this podcast from ko-fi.com/reneliza. Video episodes are free through the next episode, and then will be available to all donors for the month starting in  November 2021. Donors also get a shout out at the end of every episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Topic: Growth mindset is bullshit

When you’ve been raised with a fixed mindset, it can seem like there’s no way for you to develop a growth mindset without already having one.

What can we do about it?

• Look for evidence: Find areas where you already have a growth mindset, no matter how small. Find areas in your life where you’ve shown growth, no matter how small.
• Don’t just wait for the evidence to mount. Use a thought ladder to address your thoughts directly, by gently working from an unhelpful thought to a helpful one.

Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted when I'm going to talk about how to develop a growth mindset for the unexplainable.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast from Chaotic Organized:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Welcome back to season 2 of Ex-Gifted - now a Chaotic Organized podcast!

In this quick dip back into the groove, I introduce you to the concept of chaotic organization, and also the concept of growth mindset.

Us former gifted kids have a very difficult relationship with growth mindset, because we were so well conditioned into a fixed mindset when we were kids in the gifted program. To just dip your toes in a bit, I recommend trying to ask yourself if it's possible that you're wrong when you believe that you can't do something, or that it's too hard, or that you're just naturally not meant for that.

Join again in two weeks where I'll not only give some more actionable advice on how to form a growth mindset, but also rant about why I think so much of the discussion around the topic is absolute bullshit.

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Visit my Ko-Fi page to see the video version of this episode - and all the episodes for October 2021 for free! Starting November 2021 the video versions will be available for anyone who throws $3 into the tip jar for the month, and will include shout-outs to all those supporters as well!

Music:

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Watch the video at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza

Try out the Roleplanning System at https://exgifted.com/roleplan

Season 2 of Ex-Gifted will begin on Friday October 1st and it will include VIDEO for all my current Ko-Fi supporters (including monthly subscribers and anyone else who has donated in the last month) Get a taste for free right here as I test out my new setup and rather obviously read from a script lol

In the meantime get to exgifted.com/roleplan ASAP and sign up to test the Roleplanning Journal for FREE before I send out character creation worksheets which is happening in just the next few days. 

The worksheet is the first step in the Roleplanning System and it takes ideas from D&D character creation as well as character design advice from authors. 

Even if you’re not in the market for a planner, sign up just to use the worksheet to fully flesh out your RPG characters. 

I can’t wait to talk to all y’all again soon. Come back and see me October 1! 

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Featured This Episode

Tools:

If you make a purchase through the links below I may be compensated at no cost to you. Thanks!

Clip-on book light

Waterproof Notebook

Trello: A digital tool for organizing your thoughts

Learn More:

Thought Ladder

Morning Pages

Donate $3 to help support the show at ko-fi.com/reneliza

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

PROBLEM?

Topic:

Your mind is possibly the most important thing you can get organized, and it so rarely comes up - even for people with executive dysfunction, but think about it - your world is basically what’s inside your head (your ideas), what’s outside your head (your environment and belongings), and the interaction between those two things (your actions and how you spend your time). All of those things can and should be kept more organized if you want to achieve your goals.

Idea management is especially important to people like us who have a million ideas that we want to be able to save to contemplate later. Here are some ways to save your working memory for the things that matter.

What can we do about it?

1. Throw out the thoughts that don’t spark joy.

2. Write. Shit. Down.

3. Always have a way to take notes.

4. Mind management is self-care.

5. Make time for your mind.

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Hit the subscribe button to join me again for season 2 of Ex-Gifted!

If you purchase through these links I may be compensated at no cost to you. Thanks!

Planner: The Kokuyo Jibun Techo isn’t widely available at the time of publishing in late-July, but this academic planner has a similar hourly layout for the week!

Smart watch: I use a Fitbit Versa 2, but there are many affordable options!

Visual Timer: This is the one I use, but there’s a wide selection available.

Dry Erase planner: I have this calendar but this also looks great

Check out my Ultimate Guide to Time Management, or sign up for my newsletter and a 5 day time management course. 

Sign up to test the Roleplanning Game for free and get started being the (dungeon) master of your own time!

Donate $3 to support the show at ko-fi.com/reneliza

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Topic:

Hours and days pass you by without even noticing. You're not always aware of the passage of time, you're never sure about what you want to do or when. Building a flexible time management system can actually help give you more time to reach your goals and do the things you love.

For many of us, the issue of time management is a non-starter, because we have a poor sense of time in the first place. 

If you do not have a good concept of time. How can you possibly even begin to manage it? There's basically two parts to this. You work to develop at least a little bit of a sense of time and at the same time you go forward with what you have, allowing technology to help you keep track of time when it eludes you.

What can we do about it?

1. Start small, and start foundational. Use habit stacking. 

2. Use tools to outsource your time sense

3. Use timers to keep track of the passage of time

4. Try thinking about your time over a week, instead of a day. 

5. These systems are not fixed

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from...

Featured this episode:

Take the Clutterbug Quiz

Tools:

If you make a purchase through the links below I may be compensated at no cost to you. Thanks!

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Tile Mate digital tag

You can also support the show by donating at ko-fi.com/reneliza

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Sign up to test the all-new Roleplanning Game for free at exgifted.com/roleplan before it comes out and learn how to level up in real life!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram or email [email protected]

On Instagram, use the hashtag #30toClean and tag @exgiftedcast or @nerdish_mom for a downloadable prize to help keep your home tidy.

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

PROBLEM?

Topic: Organizing your stuff

Without the help of your parents or your school, you have to build the structures to hold your life together on your own. Here’s some guiding principles when it comes to keeping your environment organized in a way that works for you.

What can you do about it?

1. Have less stuff - but only to the extent that it makes you happy

2. Use a system that allows you to clean up FAST

3. Have ONE happy place that stays clean in the way you want it. 

4. Create some kind of prep zone that allows you to get out the door without stress.

5. When making your system, think about what things you want visible, and what you want hidden

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Join me again for the next Ex-Gifted in

Sign up to test the Roleplanning Game for free at exgifted.com/roleplan 

Donate at ko-fi.com/reneliza

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Also, check out @nerdish_mom on Instagram and nerdishmom.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. 

References:

1. r/Gifted: https://www.reddit.com/r/Gifted/
2. Gro-Gifted: Giftedness research
3. Misperceptions about Giftedness
4. Learning disabilities in adolescents with high IQ scores. H C Faigel. J Dev Behav Pediatr. 1983 Mar;4(1):11-5. 
5. Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children
6. Updated: Jan 10, 2019
7. By James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Beljan, & F. Richard Olenchak.
8. Innate Talents: Reality or Myth?:  M J Howe, J W Davidson, J A Sloboda. Behav Brain Sci. 1998 Jun; 21(3):399-407; discussion 407-42. 
9. Domestic Blisters on TikTok
10. The Mini ADHD Coach on Instagram

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

PROBLEM?

Topic: Twice exceptional - what if there’s more overlap between giftedness and disability than we thought?

2E or twice exceptional refers to kids who are both gifted and disabled in some way.

I offer the possibility that for gifted kids, being neurodivergent is not the exception, but the rule, and that giftedness as a trait might actually be a manifestation of its own neurodivergence.

What can we do about it?

• Research the claim that giftedness is neurodivergence and what support needs gifted kids have
• Restructure education to offer more support to non-gifted kids in academics, and more support to gifted kids in social and life skills
• Develop our own systems and structures to fill in the gaps we each have...

Donate at ko-fi.com/reneliza

All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode!

Sign up to be a tester for the brand new Roleplanning Game at exgifted.com/roleplan

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram

Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

PROBLEM?

Inferiority & Superiority:

Because we struggle to fit in during our early years, we start to feel lesser than our peers, then when we also have a hard time with personal or professional success in adulthood it becomes even stronger.

At the same time, we are repeatedly told that we are special and smarter than the other kids around us, so we start judging others against our own intelligence, which reinforces our idea that the judgments we make against ourselves are valid as well.

What can we do about it?

• Intelligence is not a moral virtue
• Challenge the idea that we need to judge ourselves against others, either positive or negative
• Accept that all humans have value simply by virtue of being human. You are no better, but also no worse than anyone else in your self worth

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

 We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Join me again on July 2nd for the next Ex-Gifted to learn if you might be twice exceptional. 

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

HuffPo Quit. Go ahead. It’s okay.

NYT Sometimes You Have to Quit to Get Ahead

Forbes When It’s Okay to Quit (psst Forbes, it’s always okay, even when it’s done for the ““wrong”” reasons)

Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram @exgiftedcast

Music

 Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

 Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Problem?

Perfectionism:

Perseverance is morally neutral

BUT - some things are worth the effort

Gifted kids often end up on one extreme - quitting everything or being terrified to quit anything. 

And ridiculously high expectations don’t help, they just add to the stress. 

What can we do about it?

• The trick is to quit the things that are just taking up your time without adding to your life in a way that’s meaningful to you, while committing to the things that really matter to you, even when they’re hard.
• We don’t need to become better versions of ourselves, and perseverance won’t do that anyway because it’s morally neutral.
• 
  
• We just need to become versions of ourselves who spend time and effort on the things that matter to us while maintaining the mental space to enjoy those things.
• 
  
• How to quit
• 1. Make a list of the things you are going to absolutely commit to doing, starting (or continuing) right now
• 2. Review the list regularly and recommit to every item on it.
• 3. If there is an item you don’t want to recommit to, answer the question “What changed?” in detail. Make sure your brain isn’t trying to talk you out of something you still care about.
• 4. If you want to put off something on the list, stand up, go to the mirror, and as yourself why. Once you stand up it’s usually easier to just do the thing anyway!
• 
  
• Don’t even worry about “quitting” things that aren’t on the list because you never even committed to them. Not everything is do-or-do-not level of importance.
• 
  

About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

 Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

 Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

 Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in...