The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by the Mirror's chief football writer John Cross for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.

John's picks for his loves and hates of modern football include eavesdropping on the mundane chats of substitutes, the eternal magic™ of the FA Cup, glorious retro football TV shows and a deep dive into why commentators keep using the word "footrace".

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also decide which young England starlet's career should be doomed to failure by selecting him in a speculative 2030 World Cup XI and select the most perfect few seconds of that Sky Sports stand-off between Jamie Redknapp and Roy Keane