Explain It Me

Who loves cults and aliens? Donna sure as hell doesn’t! That's why it was torture for her to have to sit while Stephany talked about The Endless! “Lost Highway sounded like a better movie than this” -Donna. Get ready to be confused from beginning to end as we discuss Kraken creatures in lakes that love taking photos. And also members that never age, car batteries, burner phones, and who could forget the ramen. So saddle up and don’t expect a clear explanation for this one because we do not have it for you! 

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This one starts with a bang! From being shot by an Iraqi child in the middle of a military zone. Buckle up everyone as Donna describes this very dumb, very depressi spagessi movie where using time travel means it's ok if you sleep with that child you rescued in the future because she's grown now. This week we are doing The Jacket staring the attractive (we think?) Adrien Brody. War, murder, psychiatric wards, and Daniel Craig wearing the worst hairpiece I’ve ever seen. Get cozy by the fire in your straight jacket and enjoy! 

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Are you there God? It’s me, Stephany, and I just want to know why you let children get cancer and why this movie exists? This week brings us David Lynch’s Lost Highway as well as Stephany’s painful retelling of this movie as this was her first Lynchian experience. What the hell was this movie about? Donna could not tell you if her life depended on it, that’s how confusing it was. We suffered so you can enjoy as we discuss this movie in full. So sit back and put your phone on silent mode just in case Robert Blake tries to call you to tell you he’s in your house, and enjoy this insanity with us!  

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WARNING: This is one of our last episodes that have particularly bad sound/background noise. We apologize in advance.

Ever felt like you’ve had a past life, one where you were perhaps a talented rap star from Boston? But now you find yourself playing a schizophrenic Japanese sword-wielding action hero, bro? Neither did we! Listen up as Donna explains (terribly) the plot of Infinite. A movie where you learn that reincarnation = magic, and jails are wide enough to drive an SUV through. So come along and bring your waterboarding kit and have fun…if you can.

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Trying to disarm a bomb may be boring, but this episode definitely isn't! Just another normal day where someone’s trying to blow up a city. This week, Steph has the amazing task of going through the movie Source Code! Come on this adventure where we relive the same moment over and over again with nothing on our side but a train car Dunkin Donuts and a 2006 T-mobile pay-as-you-go phone for our internet sleuthing.  “This movie is the Guess Who of train films but with bombs instead of faces and it makes zero sense”, says Donna. Come along for the ride and just know this episode will NOT blow you away. ;)

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Do you remember what it was like being a moody teen in your suburban neighborhood? Did you have a grown man as an imaginary friend? Were your parents clueless as to where you were while you were sleepwalking all night? 

In this week's episode, Donna has the honor of diving into the film Donnie Darko: a film about time travel, religion, pedophilic motivational speakers,  and teenage boys who are just plain weird. So take off your stupid man suit and get ready while Donna fails at explaining time travel to Stephany. Don’t pretend you understand it, just accept it!

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Have you ever wanted to go on a cross-country road trip in Crocs? Well, Jessica did and she got herself into a White Woman POV traveling nightmare. Join us as Stephany tries to explain to Donna the physics of a stick going through your foot, and how not to go on a road trip alone! Remember kids, never roll down your window for strangers, 300 miles might take you 5 days to travel, and never tell anyone your real name. So grab your makeshift sling and your proper escaping shoes for this film that I am sure no one has ever watched! 

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Remember the time when Vince Vaughn was hot despite one of us calling him 7 head? A time when psychological thrillers didn’t need to make sense because famous pop stars were the lead roles? A time when albino dog fur could be used to catch serial killers? Hop in the time machine because this week we’re going back to the year 2000 so Donna can recall the movie The Cell. That God-awful movie with terrifying costumes and even more terrifying acting. Welcome to our most fast paced unhinged episode thus far!

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There can be only one… person who understands this film and neither of them is us! This week Steph is taking us to bonnie Scotland to tell us the magical tale of the film Highlander. Come with us as native New Yorkers learn together that Madison Square Garden does in fact have a parking garage. How many sword fights happen down there, we don’t know! (Donna guesses at least a few!) Get your magic jigsaw piece sword ready and listen with us as we refer to Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs the entire episode.  This one is a journey! 

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A butterfly flaps it’s wings and Ashton Kutcher loses his arms and legs forever according to this movie. This week, Donna has the most amazing job of telling Stephany from beginning to end, 2004’s The Butterfly Effect. We will gloss over the fact that Donna watched the wrong ending, because we are pretty sure it would be crap no matter the ending. So grab your jail journals as we talk about mailbox bombs, dad’s disease, and whatever else this movie has to offer. (Not much!)

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