Famous at Home

Welcome to episode 2 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating a Spiritual Growth Environment in Your Home.

One of the most frequent questions we're asked is how we maintain a spirit of peace as a family of five and all we have going on. "How do you carry such calm in your interactions with each other?" wrote one long-time listener. To begin, peace doesn't come without a fight.

In this episode, we talk about practical ways you can war for and cultivate peace in your home. 

We talk about: 

• Why our bodies feel safer in chaos than peace
• Specific ways to consecrate your home and use prayer as your greatest weapon in the war for peace
• How to take dominion over what God has given you
• Keeping short accounts of sin in our lives
• Playing the long game when seeing the day-to-day overwhelm

This series comes with a pdf workbook / discussion guide to go along with all five episodes (found in show notes below). You can use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.

Show Notes:
Download the free workbook / discussion guide for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup

Order a copy of the Famous at Home book:
https://amzn.to/3y1jJFz

John Eldredge's Daily Prayer (Head of Household)
https://wildatheart.org/pray

Sign up for the Famous at Home Starter Bundle
https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter

Watch this episode on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/MyzmAb20Xrg

Time Stamps: 
0:52 Introduction 
3:10 Why we use the words fighting and peace together
7:15 Defining peace
10:05 Peace according to Philippians 4
14:20 Why we feel safer in chaos than we do in peace
17:54 The spiritual and real life implications of not warring for peace in the here-and-now
21:05 How it looks practically to war for peace
23:10 How to make decisions for peace and walk in Jesus’ authority
27:05 Prayers to pray to war for peace in your home
30:36 Practical ways to pray and war for peace in your home 
42:30 Keep short accounts of sin in your life
43:20 Playing the long game for your soul

Welcome to episode 1 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating a Spiritual Growth Environment in Your Home.

This series comes with a pdf workbook / discussion guide to go along with all five episodes (found in show notes below). You can use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.

Have you ever given thought to how your "household" is being defined? Or put another way, how often do you consider the direction your family is heading? Or the connectedness you feel with each other? What if our struggles as a family and the longings we have are tied to the post Industrial Revolution individualistic culture we find ourselves immersed in? Could there be a different way? 

In this episode, we talk about the meaning of the word "household" and how it applies to your family.

We talk about:

• Why it's important to be curious, not intimidated by the dissonance we feel.
• How to let go of "the chase" and refocus on prioritizing your family cohesion.
• How to discover and step into your family's uniqueness.
• Why it's beneficial train your kids to be creators, not consumers.

Show Notes:

Download the free workbook / discussion guide for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup

Order Famous at Home: 7 Decisions to Put Your Family Center Stage in a World Competing for YourTime, Attention, and Identity
https://amzn.to/3y1jJFz

The Household and the War for the Cosmos by C.R. Wiley
https://amzn.to/3DCMoDw

Watch this episode on Youtube: 
https://youtu.be/J-ntnToREuE

Time Stamps: 
0:58 Introduction
4:28 Paying attention to your family environment
6:28 What is the state of your family right now? 
10:35 The state of the American family
15:12 The paradigm shift for our family
19:38 A higher purpose as a family
24:40 Finding your family’s unique identity for the Kingdom of God
31:36 What are we chasing? 
37:12 How family mottos define who we are
48:00 Teaching kids to be creators, not consumers 
51:40 Fighting for your marriage in building for the Kingdom of God

Welcome to episode 5 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage.

Would you describe your spouse as your greatest teammate? It probably depends on the day, right? We all have opponents that war against the connection in our marriage and cause conflict. But how do we fight? Do we see the opponent for what it is, or do we make our spouse out to be the opponent?  

In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about how to name the opponent, talk about your dance, and take responsibility for how to engage with your spouse.  

They talk about:  

• The importance of finding out what's going on in your spouse's heart rather than what's going on between the two of you
• Protective mechanisms and how they hold us back from communicating the truth of what we want from our spouse
• Why taking 100% responsibility for your role in the conflict disarms your spouse
• Practical ways to show up differently for your spouse 

We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content. 

Show Notes: 
How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotional
https://shorturl.at/NtnCq 

Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform 

Order a copy of Famous at Home:
https://amzn.to/3VYPKLP 

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/bi8pi4motfY

Time stamps:
(0:30) Introduction
(5:40) How to name your opponent
(8:55) How our opponents become elephants
(11:19) Feeling safety in the relationship
(13:45) The one phrase that matters more than any other to becoming teammates
(16:57) The role you play in conflict and how to identify your dance
(20:25) When one spouse isn’t willing to change
(22:25) Entering into and being repentant of your own actions
(23:55) Addressing the very thing holding you back from drawing closer to your spouse
(26:20) The most sanctifying verses for a healthy marriage
(27:00) Our single greatest reason for how we’ve grown in our marriage

Welcome to episode 4 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage. 

Joining us for a conversation about sex is our dear friend, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose specialization in graduate school was sex therapy, Laura Dugger.

In this episode, Laura talks about how sex makes everything better. Wait until you hear the research! With honesty, vulnerability, and a solid dose of fun, Josh and Christi's interview with Laura includes:

• The hidden benefits of sex
• How to talk to your spouse about sex
• Reasons for, and how to, schedule sex
• Individual differences when it comes to sex
• The God-given purpose of sex in marriage 

We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.

Show Notes: 
How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotional
https://shorturl.at/NtnCq 

Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!
https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform

Listen to this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/NzgcDR013P0

RESOURCES MENTIONED BY LAURA DUGGER: 

Listen to the Savvy Sauce Podcast! hosted by Laura Dugger
https://thesavvysauce.com/

Dr. Jennifer Konzen podcast episode: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen
https://shorturl.at/mPQvW 

Visit The Art of Intimate Marriage Website: Access to Dr. Konzen's book, podcast, sex therapist training, and a marriage video series.
https://www.theartofintimatemarriage.com/

Listen to Dr. Douglas Rosenau podcast episode: Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau
https://shorturl.at/EfLZ8

Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau: A guide to enjoying God's gift of sexual intimacy
https://amzn.to/4cMWVfk 

Listen to Dr. Michael Sytsma podcast episode: Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma
https://shorturl.at/A2pHO

Listen to Francie Winslow podcast episodes: Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1
https://shorturl.at/Mx9Iw 

Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2
https://tinyurl.com/bddr6b58 

Listen to Drs. Clifford and Joyce Penner podcast episode: Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner
https://tinyurl.com/5n897dpn 

Time stamps:
(0:38) Introduction
(3:31) An introduction to Laura Dugger
(6:00) Laura’s journey into becoming a sex therapist
(8:15) Disclaimer about the sex conversation
(9:33) Specific ways sex makes everything in your life better
(11:28) Biblical foundation for sex
(15:45) Addressing body image
(21:11) Healthy ways to have conversation about sex
(27:30) Common differences in couples
(31:08) Purity culture, pornography, and rewiring our brains for healthy connection
(33:35) Talking about desire discrepancy and scheduling sex
(38:27) Testosterone in women and best time of day for sex
(40:40) One piece of advice for husbands
(42:44) One piece of advice for wives
(44:54) How to know when to reach out for outside support
(49:00) The last word

Welcome to episode 3 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage.

Difficult conversations in marriage are inevitable. Whether it's parenting, sex, holidays, work schedules, or in-laws, all couples deal with "an elephant in the room." How can we best show up in these conversations? In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about how to talk about hard things in marriage.  

Here are some highlights: 

• How to identify your motive when starting a hard conversation and why it’s important.
• How to set the tone in your conversations.      
• How to respond to your spouse without flipping your lid.
• Ways to lead with a team approach and an "us against the world" attitude with your spouse.

We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.

Show Notes: 
How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotional
https://shorturl.at/NtnCq 

Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!
https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform 

Order a copy of Famous at Home:
https://amzn.to/3VYPKLP 

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/WQjPuCAACfk

Time stamps:
(0:15) Introduction
(5:21) Hard topics we have in our marriage
(6:25) Hard topics: In-laws, holidays, kids, sex, insecurity, habits, schedules, money, faith
(9:50) The dance of being offended and flipping into defensive mode
(14:56) Defending our idols at the expense of the relationship
(18:12) Picking a fight when you need attention
(20:03) 1. Start with connection
(21:30) 2. Set the tone
(23:35) 3. Lead with a team approach
(23:24) 4. Own your part
(25:00) 5. Come with the solution, not the problem
(25:30) How to pray and bring the authority of heaven into the conversation
(29:00) We, therefore, I…are you in?
(31:15) Subduing division and praying goodness into conversation

Welcome to episode 2 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage.

What is emotional safety? And how do you cultivate an emotionally safe marriage? In this episode, Josh and Christi define and describe emotional safety, talk about what an elephant is in marriage, and how to be your true self in hard conversations with your spouse.

They talk about:

• Approaching conversations in love rather than fear
• Having an "us against the world" mindset
• How to talk to your spouse about feeling emotionally safe

We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.

Show Notes: 

How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotional
https://shorturl.at/NtnCq 

Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!
https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform 

Order a copy of Famous at Home:
https://amzn.to/3VYPKLP 

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/PWqMTfAmFWQ

Marriage Coaching with Josh and Christi:
https://www.famousathome.com/coaching 

Time stamps:

(0:55) Introduction
(3:42) What is emotional safety?
(6:48) Evaluating emotional safety in your marriage
(11:45) How emotional safety plays itself out in marriage
(13:40) Addressing elephants in marriage
(14:30) Why we numb and avoid each other
(15:48) Introducing safety back into the system
(21:18) Emotional safety and relationship with God
(21:48) Practical ways to reset nervous system even if your spouse is not on board
(24:30) Disclaimer on physical safety
(24:58) Continued ways to reset nervous system and introduce safety
(27:24) Talking about sex in marriage
(31:05) The hope and practical ways of introducing safety back into the marriage
(35:25) Taking fear out of a marriage conversation, no matter the topic

Welcome to episode 1 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage.  

Have you and your spouse ever looked at each other and wondered, "Who did we marry?" Lewis Smedes once said, "My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed—and each of the five has been me." It's amazing how much we change: sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better.  

In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about the various "seasons" we go through as individuals and how those "seasons" influence our marriage. They also talk about practical ways to enter into your spouse's world in the good, bad, and ugly.  

They talk about:  

• How to prioritize what's going on within your spouse's heart more than what's going on between the two of you
• Ways to empathetically step into your spouse's world
• Practical ways to dream with your spouse and offer affirmation  

We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content. 

Show Notes: 

How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotional
https://shorturl.at/NtnCq 

Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!
https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform 

Order a copy of Famous at Home:
https://amzn.to/3VYPKLP 

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/MtMd2VDX9eI  

Time stamps:
(0:43) Introduction
(4:10) The versions of Josh that Christi has been married to
(7:57) The single most important decision we make in this life
(8:50) How we regulate each other in marriage to get healthy
(11:35) The only way you’re going to help your spouse grow
(14:30) An example of how to honor your spouse and change yourself
(18:40) How our faith influences how we treat our spouse
(20:32) Another example of honoring your spouse
(22:41) How to affirm and receive affirmations from your spouse
(24:29) Embracing curiosity, mystery, and dreaming together
(28:24) Navigating the seasons of marriage
(31:15) Subscribe to weekly devotional
(32:00) Practical exercise for moving forward together
(34:55) Getting to the “why” of the interest in the other person

Welcome to episode 5 of 5 in our first Summer Series called, On Becoming Great Parents. We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content. 

As a parent, what are we truly aiming for? What really is the goal of all this stuff we put into a bucket called “parenting?” And, at a deeper level, have I thought about how my own spiritual journey influences how my children live out their faith and find purpose for how they live their lives? Does this matter to me as I think about how I’m engaging the task of “parenting?”

In this episode, Josh talks about what he's learning from his own spiritual journey right now and proposes a developmental spiritual growth model for fathers and mothers that moves us from a journey of being self-focused (fear) to others-focused (joy).

They are:
Becoming (internal healing and growth).
Present (external presence where others feel seen).
In community (inviting others into our journey).

Show Notes: 
Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!
https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform 

Order a copy of Famous at Home:
https://amzn.to/3VYPKLP 

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/wMDPVC6BDsc 

Time stamps:   
(0:50) Introduction of topic  
(3:28) What really matters when it comes to raising our kids?
(6:15) What’s warring against us in raising our children?  
(7:08) Josh tells story of a revelation he got and how it’s shifting how he fathers
(10:30) Fear, gratitude, and the neurobiology of our experiences based on Philippians 4
(14:25) How are we experiencing Jesus in the here-and-now?
(15:55) What happens when we pay attention to every detail and person we encounter
(18:20) How the study of heaven influences how we parent and interact with others
(19:50) Brennan Manning’s insight on true-self versus false-self  
(23:40) Introduction of the three stages of spiritual development of a parent
(24:14) Stage 1: “Becoming”
(28:30) What is the will of God for our lives?  
(30:45) Stage 2: “Present”
(32:55) Stage 3: “In Community”  
(34:30) The types of people we surround ourselves with

Welcome to episode 4 of 5 in our first Summer Series called, On Becoming Great Parents. We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content. 

In this episode, Christi talks to Josh about honor, our identity as parents, and how the tension of letting our yes be yes and our no be no. This conversation was unscripted and heartfelt, as Christi got to the heart of how Josh sees his role as a father.  

Josh and Christi talk about: 

• What it means to honor up and cast vision down through the generations  
• How to level up what you've been given from your parents without living in denial about the holes that were left from your upbringing
• Letting your yes be yes and no be no and how to show up for our kids in a way they feel seen  

Show Notes: 


Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup 

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!
https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce 

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform 

Order a copy of Famous at Home: https://amzn.to/3VYPKLP 

Order a copy of Jon Tyson's book, The Intentional Father: https://amzn.to/3KUyrVQ 

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/HAK-G8a5VTg 

Time stamps:

(1:02) Introduction

(4:30) Fruitfulness comes with a cost  

(6:30) What Josh's dad gave him

(9:24) Fatherhood and identity

(11:02) The lack of regret when we say yes to our kids 

(12:12) Honoring our parents  

(14:50) Honor doesn’t live in denial
 
(15:00) Why it's important to return blessing to our kids  

(18:18) The lesson Josh learned about generational blessing from his grandfather and what each of us can take from it

(22:45) Josh talks the greatest lessons he's learned from mentors through the years

(24:45) Honor up; cast vision down  

(26:56) Josh talks about the vision he has for his family and how to view identity as a parent

(30:08) Jesus addressed idols of the day  

(32:20) What is your most difficult hurdle as a father right now? On showing up well for our kids  

(35:23) As a father, I’m aiming for this one thing...

Welcome to episode 3 of 5 in our first Summer Series called, On Becoming Great Parents. We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.

In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about the single greatest thing to being a better parent. Part of it may have to do with how we greet one another coming in the door, a conversation you don’t want to miss! Through the lens of Christi’s own healing journey, she shares in-depth about what makes her a better mom and what she now sees as the goal of parenting.  

Some highlights include: 

• The single greatest thing that’s made Christi a better mom
• What the primary goal of parenting really is (and it’s not what you think)
• Why less is more when it comes to parenting

Here are timestamps for each of the topics:  

(3:38) What we can learn (and not learn) by how our dogs greet us as we come through the door

(10:45) Why teachability matters, especially when looking for a spouse

(13:28) The art of giving an appropriate apology  

(16:17) Christi discusses what she found to be the single greatest thing to be a better mom

(20:18) Christi discusses how she views time with the Lord when it's all hands-on deck with the kids

(21:30) Fighting the religious spirit

(22:35) Practical ways to get time with God in the mundane moments of the day 

(28:41) Conversation related to therapy, coaching, and spiritual direction  

(30:03) Why does it feel like everyone else talks about Jesus but I don't feel like He's with me?

(31:53) What Christi knows now that she wishes she knew when she first became a mom

Show Notes: 
Click here to download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series.
https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup

Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce! Special pricing ends June 28.
http://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce

Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! Click here.
https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestform

Watch this episode on Youtube by clicking here.
https://youtu.be/Ui9fJqr1QbI