Fangfiction

2 of our horniest little donkeys (+ Zac) have written Forbiden Fruit fangfic!

We couldn't let things end like that, so we called on our listeners to send us their version of the long lost Chapter 9. And boy did they come through! We read 3 alternate endings for Forbiden Fruit, and feel a lot of joy at the possible futures for our girl Tiaa.

Thank you to our fans for your patience and loyalty this season, we love you!

Fangfiction will return!!!1(2)!!!111111

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's fiction at https://h-ne.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We incorrectly thought this was the penultimate episode! We are both completely exhausted, but are enlivened by this absolute BANGER of a chapter, before being supremely let down when we realise that this is in fact the FINAL CHAPTER of Forbiden Fruit!

Zac makes a throwaway joke about burning bookstores that we then labour the point over until we reach a joke we're happy with, on mic. Listen for the thrilling punchline!!! The discussion gets a little more serious than usual as we go over the burnout and creative guilt that we both - Lucy especially - has been feeling in recent months. Lucy, as usual, pours her little heart out, and Zac, as usual, is both very silly and very wise.

Chapter 8: The Kidnap opens in the change room, Tiaa alone but looking AWESOME. We interrupt ourselves with an update from a goffik correspondent! You can check out the scene from Dance of the Vampires with the goffik, German version of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' here. It's absolutely phenomenal. By the time we return to the narrative, Tiaa has returned home and decided to ditch school. Dave comes in and acts like a BOOFHEAD (that's BOOF with a B, for our international listeners), so Tiaa decides to go out and meet Snoofles at PABLO NIGHTMARE, the goffik club that goes off at 4 PM.

Jacob, the WEREWOLF KING manages to kidnap Tiaa, the witch-vampire with a samurai sword, out from under Snoofles' nose. He rubs his wet mushroom penis against her knee, she gasps, and then Edward BURSTS into the room! We're so excited to find out what will happen next!!!!!!!1!1!!!!!2

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of self harm and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

AUS: Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988) or text HELLO to 741741

UK: National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back!!! We took a little emergency break AGAIN, we're so sorry, but we're back!!! We start off talking about fan theories, then of course we are derailed by: The Road to El Dorado, hating the MCU in 2022, and the role of Amelie in the rise of the alt-right.

We bumble through a recap before launching into Chapter 7: Surprises, and what surprises there were!

Tiaa wakes up, unsure whether or not she really shotgunned Uncle Larry or if it was all a dream. She is somehow EVEN MORE beautiful and ethereal than before, so she is a vampire CONFIRMED. We meet a new friend with an excellent name, and have a run-in with a cheerleader. Ewdard comes along to ruin the fun, and things get RACY.

Check out The Restricted Section, a pro-trans rights, raunchy podcast reading the Harry Potter books chapter by chapter. We were recently guests on their episode on Book 5, Chapter 4, and had an extremely good time.

https://open.spotify.com/show/3KMGbaDOg7bGBcps4SOof7?si=7d6c47362eaf4aa9

https://www.instagram.com/restrictedsectionpod/

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of self harm and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

AUS: Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988) or text HELLO to 741741

UK: National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 CONTENT WARNING: mentions of sexual assault. Normally we would skip all the Uncle Larry content, but in this chapter some of it is necessary for the flow of the story. We censor as much of it as we can, but if that's distressing for you then feel free to skip  32:44-33:00.

News flash: Edward Cullen wears awful outfits!!!! Also, this is NOT the second-to-last episode of the season, sorry Zac! This is Chapter 6: The Curse!

We put out an open call for auditions for unpaid interns to pretend to be us because we are DONE with this goddamn fanfic. Lucy talks about missing writing, and why she's deleting her AO3 account. We then discuss sequels we wish for (sort of) and the sequels we wish would stop being made before doing the laziest recap in the history of Fangfiction and diving into Chapter 6!

Tiaa has written a POEM about Ewdard, so this week's special treat is Lucy doing slam poetry. YOU'RE WELCOME! Then, RED ALERT!!! The plot is MOVING FORWARD! We learn about the curse that could befall Tiaa should she let Ewdard do sex on her, so let's see how long she can resist him. A bunch of things happen that we wish didn't happen, but then the thing we have been waiting and hoping for happens! #SheShotgunnedUncleLarry

Credit for today's theme music goes to Love Me Electric for their extremely excellent punk rock version of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'! You can find the song at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_DzZWwYP_4

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of self harm and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

AUS: Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988) or text HELLO to 741741

UK: National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back from our surprise mid-season hiatus with Chapter 5: The Talent Contest! First, we discuss moments in the culture that made us realise that pop culture was for us. This is not a movie podcast, but of course we talk mostly about movies. And a little bit about music! And then a lot about Forbiden Fruit!!!!!

All the drama is really starting to get Tiaa down, until she is signed up for the school talent contest by a mysterious patron. She's not a Mary Sue, but she brings the house down with a VERY goffik song, defeating Bella, Jessica and the other big pink cheerleaders. Ewdard purrs up in his car and ruins everything as usual, and we get THE REVEAL - though it doesn't quite go the way we imagined.

Listen for the origin story of Lucy and Zac's friendship, for another flawless Lucy impression, and to learn what an #ICP is. We also get side tracked talking about the time we saw N.E.R.D fully shit the bed at Fuji Rock music festival for a good 18 minutes. You're WELCOME!

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of self harm and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

AUS: Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988) or text HELLO to 741741

UK: National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MORE FANGFICTION FANFICTION!!!! We're on our way to the homeland of all preps, LA!!!!

Angel babe listener David has written a Fangfiction fanfiction! You do NOT want to miss this one!!!!1!1!!!12!!!

No content warnings necessary for this episode (what a relief!) and as per David's request, we would like to take this opportunity to shout out LGBTQIA+ organisations doing amazing work. Trans people are people!!!!

Australia:
Rainbow Directory
WhyNot
The Equality Project
Transcend Australia

USA:
Transgender Law Center
GLAAD
The Trevor Project

UK:
Mermaids
Stonewall
Sparkle

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't flame; there's no point!!!!1!!1! Tiaa is NOT a Mary Sue, CONFIRMED!!! She's really unhappy! Would you like her life????  Not at all! Now that that's been established, let's get on with the Chapter 4: La Push.

After a status update on Thirds for Foster Parents, we dive straight into some chat. We discuss: what kind of vampire story we would write, why we don't do therapy (our reasons are really valid, you'll see), the one and only thing Lucy wants in all literature (three guesses what that might be), and the sexiness of having food all over your face.

Tiaa heads to La Push to attend the party, but she really isn't feeling Mike Nooton. The Big Pink Cheerleaders get nasty, and Mike attempts to defend Tiaa but only draws attention to how it's what's uNdErNeAtH that counts. Embarrassed, Tiaa runs into the darkness to find... GOFFS! Friendship! Our favourite fanfic trope. Then, of course, Ewdard has to come along and ruin our joy by trying to eat his cake and have it too. Also, who remembers when promise rings were a thing?!

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: references to sexual assault. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

AUS: Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)
USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988) or text HELLO to 741741
UK: National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains descriptions of sexual assault. We do not read it out on mic but do stumble around it when it initially comes up.

If you would like to skip this part it is from 45:00-46:00.

We talk for far too long (always) about Lucy’s vampire baby before diving into creative practice, burnout, and why you shouldn’t FLAME yourself.

Becky Mac FINALLY clears up if Tiaa went to math class in just her bra and we officially launch our new charity ‘Thirds for Foster Parents’. In the aftermath of her HAWT encounter with Ewdard, Tiaa gets asked out by normal student boy Mike and spoiler: we are #teammike.

If you'd like to show off some of your own fanfic GENIUS send us literally anything you want to our socials or to [email protected] and we'll force ourselves to read it too!

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

Mensline 1300 789 978 (24 hours)

Kids Helpline (aged 5 - 25 yrs) 1800 551 800 (24 hours)

Beyondblue info line 1300 224 636

SANE mental health information 1800 187 263 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chapter 2: Edward gives us our wettest and sexiest chapter yet.

We expose (or potentially revisit) our problematic faves in respect of our formative problematic experiences with Twilight. Lucy dives into her dom/sub Kylo Ren fanfic, which is absolutely true information and not a lie that she can’t deny unless she actually reads the show notes.

In Chapter 2 things get HAWT. Physics are broken and insatiable desires are satiated. We get confirmation from Becky Mac that Tiaa is NOT A MARY SUE and acquaint ourselves with the long lost art of cock-dropping.

If you'd like to show off some of your own fanfic GENIUS send us literally anything you want to our socials or to [email protected] and we'll force ourselves to read it too!

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of sexual assault. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

Mensline 1300 789 978 (24 hours)

Kids Helpline (aged 5 - 25 yrs) 1800 551 800 (24 hours)

Beyondblue info line 1300 224 636

SANE mental health information 1800 187 263 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The official launch of Fangfiction Season Two!! Get ready to flame Forbiden Fruit: The Temptation of Edward Cullen. We're getting #twihard baby.

We debate the physics and biology of vampires which, lucky for you, descends into some very wet and mouthy blood-sucking ASMR. Lucy prepares for her Hot Leech Summer before we dive into Chapter One: Atlantiana.

We meet our new hero, Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (AKA Tiaa) who is beautiful and athletic, just like a bunny girl. And even though she has anger problems and strange dreams she is NOT A MARY SUE. But more importantly, who is the mysterious hottie that sounds like wet heaven??

If you'd like to show off some of your own fanfic GENIUS send us literally anything you want to our socials or to [email protected] and we'll force ourselves to read it too!

You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's excellent fiction at https://h-ne.com/

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of sexual assault. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.

Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

Mensline 1300 789 978 (24 hours)

Kids Helpline (aged 5 - 25 yrs) 1800 551 800 (24 hours)

Beyondblue info line 1300 224 636

SANE mental health information 1800 187 263 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.