We human beings are contradictory creatures: we say we want one thing, but do another. We think our lives are driven by fate or circumstances outside of us because we aren’t aware of the core beliefs running the show, often based in scarcity. Do you think life has dealt you a bad hand?

We forget we have choices, and that we have control over the ones we make. Recently a client told me he didn’t want his dysfunctional relationship to end because if he broke things off, she might find someone better, which would invalidate him and make him feel alone. Plus he had a fear of missing out. Missing out on what you ask? The best thing that could have happened to him! For this dysfunctional relationship to somehow become the relationship of his dreams and he’d miss out, if he left. That fear of missing out scared him into believing leaving might be the wrong choice. He was stuck right where he was, in this painful relationship, missing out on potential happiness with someone else.

Scarcity can make us believe that mediocre or painful situations are the only road to happiness, and because we’re afraid of missing out on that happiness, we stay in painful situations. It’s like we’re waiting for our happiness prize at the end of misery. This means we do not commit to better because the unknown might be worse (or at least no better). Why risk it? The unknown has scarcity attached to it. What if there IS no one better for us? What if there IS no better job? We fear losing what we have in pursuit of something better, so it’s safer to settle. If we believed in abundance, however (i.e. a plentitude of great partners, jobs, life opportunities, etc.), there would be no need to stay with what’s painful. We would have faith that letting go of what we have would make room for something better. To catch a bigger fish, you first need to release the guppy in your hand. Learn why an abundant mindset will lead you away from FOMO.