Fearbaiting

Hey folks! We’re trapped in a weird array of cubes, any chance you could help us out? Watch your step, some of ’em are trapped – Paul ate shit on a spike a few rooms back. Anyways, pull up a chair, let’s sit down and talk about Cube! Join us as we get into the kitchen, talk to mom, and say some of the worst words we’ve ever said on this podcast!

In addition to the boxy hell that is Cube, we also discussed Chef Luna (here’s her recipe!), Dax Shepardverse, Horrible Cunnilingus Analogies (PLEASE SKIP), Crapitalism, Sans Undertale, Kid Nation, and Robofuckin!

RATINGS: On a scale of zero to five cubes, our hosts both gave this movie a true should-shrugging 3/5 cubes.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Land of the Lustrous Solitary (Season 1 Only)

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Intro/outro music courtesy of friend of the show Satah! Check out their music here!

Friend of the show Saf has decided to join us to discuss the most esoteric and heartfelt gorefest that we may have ever seen, in our lives? Anyways a bus full of people get sliced in half hamburger-style and it’s incredibly good. Let’s talk about it!

Also, thanks for sticking with us through this rough release schedule as of late, we’ve been living hectic experiences for the past while, but we should be all set in a few weeks’ time! Thanks for your patience – y’all are the best. Additionally, sorry for the bad audio quality, we had to record via a backup. Back on good audio next week!

We also discussed The Only Lesbian Top, Luna’s Big Announcement, Ghost Ship’d, A Great M83 Joke, The Mandela Effect, A Long Anime Chat, The Matrix But On A Racetrack, and Another Fucking Incel/Volcel/Nofap Discussion.

RATINGS: On a scale of 0 to 5 Boar-Headed Backflips, each host gave this movie a hard 5.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Casino Royale
• Another
• Romaplasm

Check out Saf on twitter, tumblr, and instagram!

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Hey, you wanna come out to an isolated place in the woods and film your favorite podcast hosts again? Well good news, we’ve got $1,000 and a sharp knife for you! Unrelated, we watched Creep 2 this week, and it was extremely good! Join us on this journey!

In addition to Creep 2, your hosts also discussed Spam Defense, A Special Announcement, Smoothie Chat, Our Types, Daaron, The Ultimate Comedy of Describing Vines, and Some Rankings!

RATINGS: On a scale of zero to 5 Saras Which Love Their Juicy Fruit, your hosts had the following to say: LUNA: 4.5 – no, 5 out of 5 Saras. BLAIR: Full 5.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Getting drunk with your friends and watching a classic horror movie SPAM

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Intro/outro music courtesy of our friend Satah! Check out their music here!

This week, Blair and Luna take a pallet cleanser following Schloktober by watching and talking about a good movie this week. Imagine that! This week, we talk about The Wailing, a 2016 Korean horror movie about cops and demons!

Topics include Bad Discourse, Ready Player One with zombies, what if it was Jason Vore-hees, you know, like vore instead of Voor, like, what if it was that instead of Voorhees, I just think that’s a really funny joke, I don’t know about you but I think we should all spend a really long time thinking about Jason Vore-hees.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Last Podcast on the Left
• Slowbeef’s let’s play of Dead to Rights

As Schlocktober comes to an end, we welcomed back good friends of the show, The Brotherhood Without Manners join us to talk about Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan! Join us, Brooks, and Eddy, as we talk about a movie that really doesn’t quite deliver on the promise made by the title!

In addition to this lie of a movie, we also discuss Weed Plot Holes, The Bye Bye Man Official Video Game, Very Funnie Jigsaw Talk, Jason VOREhees, Jim Opinions, A Depressing Lonely Island Tangent, Tim Allen’s Real-Ass Name, and A The Mask Revelation.

On a scale of 0 to 5 Toby’s, your hosts had the following to say: Eddy: I’m gonna give it 2 Toby’s. Luna: I feel like I was lied to, so I think 1.5 Toby’s. Blair: 2 Toby’s, because of how little a role Manhattan played. Brooks: 2 Toby’s!

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Nier: Automata
• Goths
• American Vandal
• Duolingo

Check out Brooks and Eddy on Postgame of Thrones and Yare Yare Boys!

Thanks again to Satah for their excellent theme song that kept us going through all of Schlocktober! Check out their music here!

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Folks, I’m gonna be up front with y’all – this is a rough one. Blair and Satah (beloved guest and creator of our incredible Schlocktober theme song!) go on like a 10 minute tangent about Homestuck shipping. And that’s not even the only shipping tangent we go on. Welcome to The Covenant, folks! Luna sums up the plot in about 60 seconds, and we spend the rest talking about nothing that relates to it! It’s Schlocktober, baby, get with it!

In addition to boiwitches, we also talk about That Centrist Feeling, Yowie!, Bad Theatrical Releases, A/B/O Dissertation, A Horrifying Amount of Time Spent on Homestuck Shipping, Fearbaiting Enemy AU (Feargating!), Garold: Destroyer of Laptops, and Skateboard CGI.

RATINGS: On a scale of 0 to 5 SebStans, your hosts had the following to say: LUNA: There was one SebStan in this movie so it gets a one. BLAIR: Half a SebStan. One Seb. SATAH: I sighed a bunch. 0.25 SebStans.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Alters
• WHY?’s Alopecia
• Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
• The Bright Sessions

Intro/outro courtesy of Satah! Check them out on twitter @nuditea, or find their music on Bandcamp!

Support us on Patreon!

This week, your hosts Blair and Luna are cursed by friend of the show Andi as they make us watch this Baptist anti-pornography anti-masturbation propaganda found footage horror movie. We know, it’s just as baffling as it sounds.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Bayonetta
• I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats
• Bedtime Boys
• Weaves’ Wide Open

Your hosts this week are so, so, so sorry that we forgot to mention that this was the 69th episode and hope desperately that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive us. Uh, also, we were joined by friend of the show Michelle and watched Smiley this week, a 4chan themed horror movie that, yes, is exactly as bad as it sounds. Welcome to week two of Schlocktober!

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Fleet Foxes’ Self Titled
• Cuphead
• Tongues Untied
• Death Note (2017)

You can find Michelle on her podcast Reloading the Canon or listen to her music as Contain.

A year has passed, and we’re back for your favorite festive exploration of the absolute bottom of the fucking barrel of horror movies! It’s SCHLOCKTOBER! To start, we decided to look at a movie that’s taking a bold stance in this day and age: teens spend just way too much time on their dang phones! #HORROR is here to put them in their place! Joining them for this #HORRORshow is friend of the show Eva!

In addition to the waste of artistic vision that was #HORROR, your hosts also discussed: Hewwo??, Competitive Slashtag, Three Minutes of Gaming, Bedcasting, Weed Strains, Defining Slashtag, Banksy’s Subtlety, Scary Statues, Resume Contents, and Kiss Movies!

On a scale of zero to 5 Hours of your Life Wasted, your hosts had the following to say: BLAIR: Maybe like a 1.5? Maybe a 2? LUNA: 1. EVA: 2!

Recommendations:

• Nick Drake’s Five Leaves Left
• Youtube.com/BrutalMoose
• Slutever
• Red Fang’s Only Ghosts
• Marika Hackman’s I’m Not Your Man

Check out Eva on twitter @eva_ursa!

Thanks to Satah for our Schlocktober theme song – check out their music at http://peopleyoumeetoutsideofbars.bandcamp.com/

Support us on Patreon!

Join your hosts this week as we get ready for our high school reunion by watching Most Likely to Die! You can’t get mad at us for this one, the patrons voted for it, so pack your bags and get ready to reopen old high school drama as we talk about topics such as: glass blown Pickle Rick, gender pills, Pennywise discourse, Danzig polls, lukewarm murder, Blair’s guide to quitting your job, and SO much more!

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Yeoman by BATHS
• My Favorite Murder

Support us on Patreon!

Intro/outro courtesy of Visager.