Fearbaiting

Did you think last week’s movie was too good a movie about parallel universes? Well, do we have a movie for you! This week, Blair and Luna dive into an absolute stinker, 2016’s The Charnel House, and find out exactly what’s haunting this giant apartment complex with seven tenants. Buckle up, folks. We get angry.

P.S. Sorry if the audio gets a bit out of sync at times – there were a handful of recording snafus this week.

We also discuss: Everything is Sans, Darnielle Sadness, Wilford Brimley’s Failed Clone, Garbage Disposal Ruminations, New Segment: Highest Point Lowest Point, Minor Skype Issues, Luna Takes a Break, and Owned By Libsyn Comments

RATINGS: On a scale of zero to five Batter Patties, our hosts had the following to say: Blair: Like, a goose egg Luna: I 1000% agree. Zero Batter Patties

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Stop Podcasting Yourself
• From Under the Cork Tree

Join Blair and Luna, with special guest Rinks–wait, and… special guests Blair, Luna and Rinks, as well as Blair, Luna, and Rinks… with a cameo from Rinks’s cat–as they talk about the movie Coherence! We get down and dirty with this real thinker of a film, and before you dive on in, this is one of the few movies on our show where you’d get the most out of the movie by going in cold. We won’t call the feds on you if you don’t, but go give it a watch before you barrel into our babblings on this flick!

Topics this week include: Petite bourgeoisie tea bags, cats in boxes, multiverse shenanigans, Eau du High School, and a beautiful musical number from the one and only Luna.

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO FIVE “Bottles of Ketamine”: All three of us gave it a solid 5/5

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Santa Clarita Diet
• Breathe (Respire)
• Grizzly Man

Intro and outro music courtesy of Visager.

Would you rather listen to this podcast or read this description? The good news is that you don’t have to make a choice! This week, Blair and Luna watched Would You Rather, and had very conflicted feelings about it? We also say some very, very bad things. I’d apologize here but neither of us are truly that sorry.

We also discuss: Hometown Heroes, Fearbaiting T-Shirts, Rating Jack-Off Motions, Pennywise the Tax Specialist, Perfect Impressions, Impressive Foley, and Totally Spies Kinkiness

RATINGS: On a scale of zero to five Sjamboks, our hosts had the following to say: Blair: 3 out of 5. Luna: 3 out of 5 – no, 3.25 out of 5. Wait, no 2.5 out of 5. Yeah, that.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Obsidian by Baths
• Resident Evil 7

Intro/outro music courtesy of Visager

YOU KNOW I HAD TO TURN INTO DARKIPLIER 2: #4BIDDENKNOWLEDGE: LUNARTRUTH.COM

RATING: On a scale of 1-5 LUNARTRUTH.COMs Blair: 3/5 Luna: 3.5/5

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Goodbye to Halos
• St. Vincent – St. Vincent

Everyone loved this movie back when it first came out in 2014; does it hold up? Join Luna and Blair as we discuss It Follows! Also, enjoy the smartest discussion we’ve probably ever had on the podcast. It was weird.

We also discuss: Our First Sponsorship, La La Land vs. The Bye Bye Man, We Literally Can’t Stop Talking About Split, Actually Smart Shit, Text to Speech Interruptions, Marry Fuck Kill: Greg Paul or Hugh, Greg Status, How To Kill The It Follows, A Really Bad Plan To Kill The It Follows, and Arthur Discourse

RATINGS: On a scale of zero to five Shitty-Ass Aardvarks, our hosts had the following to say. Blair: 3.5 out of 5. Luna: 3.25 out of 5.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• A Series of Unfortunate Events
• The Wicked + The Divine

Intro/outro music courtesy of Visager

This week, per the request of close friends with good opinions, we dive into the horrors of the more… political realm, as we watch and talk about Nazi punk horror/thriller Green Room! Join us as we discuss the political implications of this film, as well as babble about how dope it looks.

Topics also include: The cast of Sharkboy and Lava Girl, the trials and tribulations of same-name dating, fake torture tactics, flirty 14th century double dating, Maeby Funke, and poignant political discourse.

RATINGS: On a scale of 1-5 Nazi dogs, our hosts had the following to say: Blair: 4.5/5 Luna: 5/5

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Manchester by the Sea
• Oh No Ross and Carrie

Intro/outro music coutesy of Visager

We chose this week’s movie wanting to watch some brainless gore, but apparently the Saw franchise has a deep mythos and we wound up way out of our depths! Whoops! Join us as we watch what was supposed to be the final entry in everyone’s favorite gore porn series, Saw 3D!

We also discuss: The Dabventure Zone, The Podcast Braise, Podcast Horny, Saw-rys, Weirdly Specific Friend Requirements, Jigsaw’s Pizza Trap, Oogieloves Curse, Grimdark Double Dare, and Jigsaw’s Alignment.

RATINGS: On a scale of zero to five No-Nip Bobbys, our hosts had the following to say. Blair: 1.5 out of 5. Luna: 2 out of 5.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• INSIDE
• Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit

Intro/outro music courtesy of Visager

In what is our most divisive episode yet, we welcome our good friend Li’l Clem (@ocsularia) to discuss your favorite scary Christmas movie, Silent Night Deadly Night! We also discuss: Blizzard Invents Gay, Jack The Destroyer, Known Murderer Joe Cool, Weekend at Ernest’s, Ye Olde Punk’d, Saved By The Smell, Old-Ass Memes, and They Made FIVE Of These? RATINGS: On a scale of zero to five Living Haunted Dolls, our hosts had the following to say. Blair: 3 and a whatever out of 5. Luna: 3.5 out of 5. Li’l Clem: 420 out of 5.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• The Besties
• Cheap Thrills
• Creepshow and Creepshow 2
• The Atomic Cafe

Intro/outro music courtesy of Visager

This week, we dive into the tundra and and pop out of the snowbanks with another festively themed episode as we talk about John Carpenter’s The Thing. Among confronting the gripping paranoid and distrust of your fellow crewmates, topics this week include the Technicalities of Arson, the rush that comes from shucking responsibility, Luna Browsing the Internet, Wintertime Illness Woes, Famous Animal Actors, and Furry Origin Stories.

RATINGS: Blair – 5/5 Jed the Dogs. Luna – 5/5 Jed the Dogs.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Yuri!!! on Ice
• Nichijou

Intro/outro music courtesy of Visager.

The seasons are a-changing, there is snow on the ground (depending on where you are in the world), and, for a handful of belief systems and practices, the holiday season is nearly upon us. Trying to help you all gear up for the festivities, we are delving into some wintery-themed horror movies, and, as a consequence, we watch Krampus this week! Yes, that’s right, the inexplicable horror-christmas-comedy 2015 gifted us. This week we cover topics such as: Chunk, PC culture, vore puppets, and much, much more.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Amplitude
• The Great British Bakeoff