Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Summer's coming, Jessica and Ashley are swamped so Dr. Ken shares some of the essentials of "Feeding The Mouth" parenting. Today we revisit questions about phone limits, when your kid has been drinking, "dab" pens, driving and more. There's a lot of information out there but focusing in on the more common issues can, hopefully, remind us of what a Planned Emancipation approach can accomplish and also that you are no alone in dealing with these issues.

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Having a relationship where your teenager shares everything with their parents is a good thing... right? Today we talk about complications in the idealistic expectation that parents want teenagers who tell them everything that is going on in their lives. Sometimes there's reason to actually ask a teenager, "... why are you telling me this?" After all, did you tell your parents everything you did when you were a teenager? Dr. Ken even admits a secret he never told his parents!

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Jessica and Ashley revive an axiom they learned in a Bible study, "our words should build, bless and benefit." How could any Christian parent disagree with these goals for our children? Well... Dr. Ken has some concerns! Today we consider the purpose of words that may seem critical. Verbal sparring can be an advanced form of "rough-housing" which, research indicates, can be helpful for children and teenagers. We also discuss the necessity of connection in shared humor and put-downs. How can parents help teens navigate these choppy social waters?

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This week we review a checklist of the stuff parents need to be doing this spring to move planned emancipation along. Especially for parents of high school seniors, now is the time to be mostly finished with giving over freedoms including... electronics, attending church etc. Scary stuff but necessary to finish well. We also talk about items on the list for parents of early and middle adolescents. Now is the time to be thinking about summer jobs, camps etc. We cover these and other items on your "spring Feeding The Mouth checklist."

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School shootings only add to parents' fears for their child's safety and well-being. These fears make it hard for parents to know how to or even if they should talk to their kids about these events. As you might guess, Dr. Ken suggests there are important differences in the way parents should talk to children vs adolescents. Is this the time to talk about gun-control or mental health laws? Is it bad to let teenagers see your own emotional reactions? What if my teenager is uncomfortable with praying in times like these?

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Once a parent has given over an area of freedom to their teenager, they must NOT continue to check and remind their kid about it. Letting the natural consequences of your teen's choices fall on them is necessary to teens developing responsibility in managing more and more areas of their lives. On the other hand, parents shouldn't be saddled with constantly "biting their tongue" while watching them make poor choices. Today we discuss this difficult balance between leaving teens to make their own choices while communicating with them when they seem to be making bad choices.

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In a world that insists that there are no real differences between men and women, how can parents help their daughters navigate this confusion? Today we talk about the successes and failures of feminism for our girls. We also talk about empowering girls in their femininity rather than needing to be "just like a boy."

Dr. Ken references the book by Louise Perry, "The Case Against The Sexual Revolution"

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What is "toxic masculinity?" How can parents encourage healthy masculinity? Today we take on a somewhat provocative topic for today. What is a healthy way to encourage real "male-ness" in a culture that is denying any "real" masculine and feminine traits in our children? What can moms do to encourage healthy masculinity in their sons? What is the role of fathers in this struggle?

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Adolescents who feel a sense of purpose in life report overall higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. What are parents to do with such information? Particularly, how does this relate to Christian parents? We cover this and other implications of such research results plus you get to listen whether Dr. Ken and Ashley were right to gang up on Jessica's desire for her children to be "world changers!"

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Is there ever a time when parents should send their teenager to a psychiatric facility? (Please don't call them "mental hospitals") Today we discuss the situations that require parents to consider having their adolescent evaluated for psychiatric hospitalization. We also cover when parents might need to consider long-term, residential treatment as well as the negative effects of NOT considering hospitalization when it's really needed.

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