Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Today we focus on the best way to parent when your kids are young so they will be most prepared for planned emancipation when they reach adolescence. Dr. Ken is concerned about a kind of parenting that reverses the healthy pattern of teaching and disciplining young children followed by conscious releasing control in adolescence. "Reverse parenting" is the temptation many parents follow to allow their younger children too much freedom when young and then being surprised when freedoms given in in adolescence are of little impact.Are you "parenting in reverse?"

Dr Ken refers to the book: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos; Jordan Peterson - https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0141988517/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1669689083&sr=8-1

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Today we keep plowing through our listener questions. We take on issues surrounding giving school freedoms when your teen is home-schooled. How should a parent handle when your kid is dating someone who's parent isn't following planned emancipation and is bad-mouthing your parenting?! Do you handle school freedoms differently if your kid has a learning difference and is even failing some or many classes? We tackle these and more FAQ's in this second part of a 2-part episode.

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It's been awhile since we've answered listener questions so we dive in for two episodes! Today we discuss important issues like, should teenagers EVER be given the freedom to skip school? How should parents handle boundaries such as sleep-overs if their teenager has expressed that they are gay? How do you manage limits on screen time when your kid needs to be on the computer for school? We take on these and other issues including a question that Dr Ken has actually never heard before! (Maybe we should give prizes for that.)

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Today we focus on the advanced communication skill of advice- giving. Dr Ken refers to this often but many parents aren't sure all the implications of this method of giving information to their teen in ways that actually have impact in their lives. We discuss that how's and when's of advice-giving as well as the importance of listening to your teenager... especially when they are saying very "wrong" things!

Dr Ken refers to the book: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk - find it here - https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667923842&sr=8-1

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Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1

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What basic skills do you require of your teenager? Do they make their own doctor's appointments? Can they change a tire? This week we discuss the sometimes alarming lack of basic life skills that parents require of their teenagers and why it's so hard to teach them. Whether you just don't live on a farm or you're hanging on to those "little extras" you can do for your kid while you still have them, we discuss the importance of requiring more of your teen in everyday life situations.

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Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1

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Trauma is another term we hear very often these days. How does trauma effect teenagers? How do we know when our teens have been traumatized? What are the effects of overusing terms like "trauma?" This week we talk about trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and its relationship to teenagers.

HEADS UP: We do get specific about issues of violence and sexual abuse.

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What is the teenagers role in Feeding The Mouth That Bites You? This week Dr. Ken talks about the message he (and other therapists) give teens about their responsibility to manage themselves while their parents are seeking to let go of their control. What do therapists say in counseling sessions with teenagers? Does everything they say have to stay confidential? Does a therapist just agree when teenagers complain about their parents?

This episode coincides with a bonus video where Dr. Ken sends a video message to teenagers whose parents are initiating Planned Emancipation.

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Listeners often worry that they've come across Feeding The Mouth late in their teenager's development. Is it ever too late to start Planned Emancipation? What's the best way to implement these principles if my teenager is already in middle or even late adolescence? Dr. Ken assures all of us that it's NEVER too late to start Planned Emancipation and reminds us that parenting teenagers isn't "math," it's not an exact science and you'll do fine!

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!

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With so many new listeners we thought we'd clearly outline the ideal way to start planned emancipation. What's the right age? Should you do some sort of ceremony? Does it matter if both parents aren't on board with this?

This is the first of a three part series. Next we cover starting late with planned emancipation. Lastly we talk about the teenager's part in all this. What does Dr. Ken say to teenagers when parents are implementing planned emancipation?

Stay tuned for bonus content on our Patreon account. Dr. Ken will record a talk that you may want to have your teenager listen to.

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In this episode we reference the book: "Healing the Masculine Soul" - Gordon Dalbey

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Ever get so mad at your teenager that you threaten to kick them out? Most of the time you don't really mean it or your kid is too young to even legally do that. But are there circumstances when parents actually can or even should kick their teenager out? Today we discuss circumstances that may lead to forcing a teen to live elsewhere. We also review an article on a "homeless" teen that really got Dr. Ken worked up!

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