Fetch A Pail

This week Jill tries to say that she’s pretty nice gal number one when everyone knows if there were assigned numbers Jackie would be #1. Jackie has so much fun news about big and little changes and just general merriment. Jill enjoyed a lovely little birthday get together for mom and friend of the show Allisa Ner and then also had a bunch of moody sad girl moments which made her question her hormonal birth control choices. Speaking of questionable choices Cork Bork presents us with a real head scratcher of a listener question. Jill is just obsessed with Jackie this week and Jackie is obsessed with a BOOK! We don’t believe in science anymore and Jackie definitely didn’t watch a movie, but we’ve got some FAPs to check and reviews to… well, review I guess. You’re gonna love it!

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Episode 30 of Fetch a Pail, or Episode 1 of Two Pretty Nice Gals?! That doesn’t make sense to you? Oops better download and listen to this episode. Maybe listen to it twice! Just for fun. One time for each gal? Anyway, Jill got the vaccine and is en route to maximum immunity which is coincidentally her new superhero name. Her friends call her Max now. Jackie’s friends, however, call them Spathe. It’s a full lineup this week with Cork Bork listener Mail, Science Bitch Express, Current Obsessions, Queer Qorner and three other things which seems like a lot but it’s the normal amount. Welcome to all our new listeners and to all the old timers - thanks for stickin around!

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Show notes are short this week because someone is a poor planner (spoiler alert it ain’t Jackie,

Holy downloads, Batman! Thank you for dedicating some of the storage on your mobile devices to us  TWO THOUSAND TIMES!!! We’re not worthy *Wayne’s World bow* Actually, we are worthy! Keep the bow but scratch the insincere humbleness, we think we’re awesome and we are grateful that you seem to agree

The show notes writer has a migraine so instead of the amazing, hilarious and insightful pre-recap… precap? to which you’ve become accustomed, you’re going to get a short essay about Season 6 of Love Island UK. First of all, Shaughna - you’re a fierce bitch and you can do better than Callum. Secondly, why are there so many Scaffolders in ye ole England? Somehow this show is simultaneously the trashiest nonsense I’ve ever seen AND like sweet and genuine and ha- okay well I was rudely interrupted by the ghost of Abe Lincoln so I just want to congratulate Paige and Finn for being an official boyf/girlf sitch (I’m on episode 24 of 36 so don’t tell me if they break up I can’t handle it right now) and with that I’m going to bed.

Just listen to this episode because it is very good and it is not about Love Island!

Love Always,

Jill

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First of all we’d like to say thanks to our “sponsor” 24 Hour Fitness for freezing Jackie’s membership and giving them all the months they purchased now that gyms are open again. Also, YOU’RE WELCOME to our sponsor for their thousands of new members as soon as this episode drops. Jill did the opposite of going to the gym which is apparently watching The Godzilla: The King of The Monsters or whatever it’s called, ya know the one with the very rude 3-headed dragon. Jackie tries to out-science the science bitch herself and, well frankly, succeeds. Jill better step her shit up or she’s gonna lose her title. It comes with one of those big gold belts like when wrestlers win… well titles I guess. But it has a picture of like a test tube and a beaker embossed on it and maybe like an explosion in the background BANG! She would prefer to keep the belt!! Jackie asks Jill a very thoughtful baking question, plus Queer Qorner, Review Stars, FAP Check and Current Obsesh’s of course.

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It’s the Quarter Quell, bitches! Or maybe a less murdery reference to something that happens every 25 years (episodes). We can finally rent a car!!! Is that better? Anyway, wow what a wild ride. Episode 25 features a sober Jackie who always says every word and phrase correctly on the first try, and an emotionally stable Jill who talks about a science thing and then is thinking “...wait, was that even science? What does buying clothes have to do with science?” for the whole rest of the episode and then realizes while she’s writing the show notes that it’s about the environmental impact of fast fashion which definitely IS science but she also definitely did NOT  say any of that during the segment. Anyway we hear the jury’s still out on science (an Arrested Development reference that feels less funny now because people actually seem to not think science is a thing or important or real) and the jury is definitely still out on Daylight Saving(s) Time. Does that tell you what the episode is about? Okay, byeeeee!

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Another week of technical difficulties that Jill was about to blame on Mercury’s backwards ass but it turns out Retrograde ended on 2/20 so what’s our dang excuse?! Anyway after last week’s lost episode Jackie and Jill were very careful and even recorded backups! Then our audio recorder did weird robot things to Jackie’s track and their backup failed so we are sorry for the audio quality which is not up to our usual standard but we are thankful that we at least have a show for you this week and hope it doesn’t detract too much because this was a fun one! Jackie is mad at everyone but Jill and doesn’t mind because they solo vibin these days. Jill is an emotional (and physical tbh) wreck but since talking to Jackie is her fav you can barely even tell. Stick around til after the Cork Bork to hear Queer Qorner, Current Obsessions, FAP check and the return of Pseudo-Science, Bitch! Actually the astrology comes early, but it’s fine - you don’t care.

Leggings Review Photo

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This week’s episode was recorded in a different space time once again and your hosts are feelin it. And tastin it. It tastes orange. Anyway, Jackie talks about a questionably executed redecorating project and Jill can barely handle the stress of it, but snitches get stitches so she’s cool, she swears! The FAP check prompts another sport cut length tangent about fake nails and takes us right on in to Queer Qorner, Pseudo-Science, Bitch! and 5M to name a few. Plus Yelp Stars and Current Obsessions to name them all.

This American Life - What Lies Beneath

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-american-life/id201671138?i=1000509025507

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This week Jackie decides brownies are out and boozy strawberries dipped in a buncha candy are in. Also Walgreens Pizzas are out and Sprouts are back in. Jill reminisces about the simpler times when people (her parents) just did stuff for her so she could have fun. The Boomers asked, and Jackie answers - what’s the scoop with POS? A complete stranger who definitely does not share a bed with either of the hosts sends in a great question and really all you need to know about it is fish. Also Queer Qorner, a FAP check that might as well be sponsored by the Wachowskis and the return of Jackie’s new favorite segment: Pseudo-Science, Bitch! Plus other segments, probably!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0FQet5bSA3zXFVlAhx1ren?si=yIPq2Hw1TGyoZJpIWAAZww