FI Minded - Financial Independence, Early Retirement & Lifestyle Design

Nothing kills the mood like discussing money issues but as much as we don’t want it to be a reality, money is a significant aspect of relationships.

If a couple isn’t on the same page financially, you can almost guarantee a bumpy road ahead. There are countless studies that demonstrate money related issues being a major source of divorce and most of these issues aren’t tactical differences, they’re rooted in emotions.

This conversation today is about creating a common bond around money with your partner and there is no better person to join me in this discussion than my friend, Ed Coambs.

Ed is a financial therapist. He helps couples create collaborative conversation. His understanding of attachment theory, relational building, and financial planning gives him a unique skill set to serve couples looking to work towards financial intimacy.

Most of our conversation will center around his book, The Healthy Love & Money Way, which dives into the four attachment styles that impact your financial well-being.

Even if you aren’t in a committed relationship right now, this is a great conversation to help you understand how your childhood affected your relationship with money. At the end of this conversation, we’ll also get into the juicy topic of what to do when there are salary differences in the relationship.

Key Takeaways:

[2:02] What stops couples from seeing eye to eye on personal finances?

[3:13] Attachment theory and the 4 styles of attachment

[11:44] How your attachment style will show up in your intimate relationship

[14:57] What secure parents do differently

[19:32] How Ed’s upbringing shaped his attachment style

[30:54] How understanding your partner's attachment style can help you anticipate their needs

[40:30] What to do when your partner makes significantly more money

Favorite Quotes:

[23:56] “But understanding people’s intentions and understanding my own needs, I was very unaware.”

[31:36] “The next important thing is to not weaponize it. We don’t want to make our partner bad for whatever attachment style they have. We want to stay in the space of empathy and compassion.”

[43:30] “There is no social status to being a client representative at Vanguard Mutual Funds.”

More of Ed:

www.healthyloveandmoney.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Love-Money-Way-Attachment-ebook/dp/B097Z2S911

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Today’s guest is the spunky J. Kelly Hoey, author of Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships In A Hyper-Connected World. Along with being an author, Kelly is a sought out speaker for her networking insights.

She also has some pretty cool accolades including:

-Forbes’ 1 of 5 Women Changing the World of VC/Entrepreneurship

-Business Insider’s 1 of the 100 Most Influential Tech Women On Twitter

-Inc.’s 1 of 10 Most Well-Connected People in New York City's Startup Scene

Crazy enough, Kelly started her career as a corporate lawyer from Toronto. She credits her network for the ability to transform her career but I’ll credit Kelly for the ability to learn such an essential professional superpower so early on.

In this episode, we get into her journey on how she began to learn network-building skills. You’ll also learn why networking online isn’t much different than networking in real life, 3 areas to focus on if you want to network better, and why the Give Give Get archetype is an ideal way to approach networking.

Key Takeaways:

[10:55] How to network in the online world

[24:08] How to stay connected with people

[26:34] Give Give Get archetype

[36:24] 3 areas to focus on to network better

[42:01] A better way to get your answer

[46:01] Kelly’s invitation to the PGA championship is a lesson in networking

Favorite Quotes:

[9:40] “That activity, that verb of networking, sits within a noun which is your network. And the important thing is having that network there that is responsive.”

[12:17] “Treat those digital spaces as physical spaces.”

[31:02] “More senior people like me, why are we reaching back down to help? Because someone did it for us.”

[44:55] “In networking you are looking for answers, you just need to ask better questions.”

More of Kelly:

Book: Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World

Website: www.jkellyhoey.co

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

My little brother, Kyle, joins me on the podcast to discuss his favorite takeaway from Episode 44: one-on-one meetings.

We discussed why one-on-one meetings could serve you at work. We outline our one-on-one meeting structure. Finally, Kyle shares how he asked for more one-on-one time and made it easy for his manager to say yes.

Key Takeaways:

[3:59] Universal reasons one-on-one conversations are important

[11:49] Kyle and Justin’s one-on-one meeting structure with their managers

[17:34] How Kyle asked for more one-on-one time and made it easy for his manager to say yes

[22:25] Kyle’s early success having one-on-one meetings with his team members

Mentions:

Kyle’s original podcast episode: www.tsirpodcast.com/2

Ben Brearley on TSIR: www.tsirpodcast.com/44

More of Kyle:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kylepeters2/

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Ben Brearley has been leading people for over 15 years. He saw the struggle managers had with the balancing act of leadership. Ben started writing articles to serve those who aspired to be an attentive and considerate manager. At the time, Ben didn’t realize this would change the trajectory of his career.

These posts turned into the Thoughtful Leader blog where Ben has been sharing leadership content for over 5 years. He started a podcast under the same name and also serves as a coach for leaders across the world that want to make work better.

This is a great episode if you are a new manager or hoping to someday be leading a team of your own. We discuss how to gain leadership experience as a junior employee, debate being liked vs being respected as a leader, and discuss how to have better 1 on 1 meetings.

Key Takeaways:

[1:37] The right and wrong reasons for wanting to become a manager

[13:30] What executives are looking for in emerging leaders

[17:41] The glass ceiling in Australia

[21:05] Being liked vs being respected as a leader

[29:03] The importance of recurring 1 on 1 meetings

[41:06] What you can learn as a leader from the self-fulfilling prophecy

Favorite Quotes:

[11:38] “But I think employees need to know they should ask if they want an opportunity to lead and to take on leadership opportunities.”

[31:29] “The real thing about leadership is developing people so they can do something better.”

Mentions:

Episode with Mason Burchette (E30): www.tsirpodcast.com/30

More of Ben:

www.thoughtfulleader.com

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

After college, Cara Hays found herself battling with two identities. Her future self that prioritized her values and her past self that continued to distract with bad habits.

One day Cara decided it was time to look forward without looking back and she made a commitment with herself to accelerate that decision.

For the next 6 months, Cara decided to say no to drinking and dating. Two areas where she knew a hard stop would give her clarity. On top of that, each month she’d focus on another area of her life that needed attention.

At the time, this commitment didn’t have a name but it became known as 6 Months of Me and this time period fundamentally changed the perception Cara had of herself.

In this episode, we get into a lot of fun details like why Cara started a single girl bucket list, first date tips that I think are genius, and Cara’s exploration on being “sober curious.”

Key Takeaways:

[2:38] Cara’s relationship with her younger self

[12:30] How Cara’s first 6 Months of Me lead to self-love

[16:22] Single girl bucket list

[21:33] How to stay motivated while dating

[23:53] First Date Tips & Parameters

[29:32] Dating Apps

[34:37] How to know when it is the right time to start dating again

[39:01] Cara’s decision to go from “the shot girl” to sober curious

Favorite Quotes:

[22:53] “I definitely got down on myself but I was so proud that I wasn’t falling back into a relationship that wasn’t right for me.”

[0:00] “I believe you have to learn how to love yourself and be alone before you can ask someone to love you.”

[47:54] “There were times I went to parties and I didn’t know what to do because I was sober.”

[55:15] “You either find love or you find a lesson.”

More of Cara:

www.carahays.com

Instagram: @carahays

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Many of us go through quite the physical transformation in our 20’s. Our metabolism slows down and we can no longer eat junk food for every meal. When we get older, we have to be more intentional about our fitness routines.

I invited Kawan Karadaghi onto the podcast to help with this. Kawan’s story will hopefully serve as inspiration for your own journey. Kawan was in his 20s, out of shape, and smoking a pack of cigarettes a day when he got a knock on his door from a friend asking if he wanted to go for a run.

That run didn’t turn out well.

Kawan barely finished a mile, but that run served as the entry point into Kawan’s fitness journey. He left smoking behind and got fit. He was in the gym so often that he decided to make a career out of it.

He started as a personal trainer and quickly set his sights on earning the title of Master Personal Trainer. To do this, he logged over 2,250 hours of coaching in his first 18 months.

Kawan didn’t stop there though. He now owns and operates 3 gyms and started a podcast called ValueVerse where he talks about the stories of mastery, growth, and success.

From this conversation I hope you’ll gain inspiration for jump-starting your fitness journey, when to utilize your ego, and how to be less intimidated when going to the gym.

Key Takeaways:

[2:02] How Kawan started down the path to fitness

[14:33] Kawan’s quest to become a Master Trainer

[25:20] Motivation Self-Determination Theory

[27:43] How to overcome the gym intimidation factor

[33:44] Why Kawan got into entrepreneurship

[42:25] Benching the ego

Favorite Quotes:

[7:53] “How do you know so much about fitness? I just read Men’s Health magazine every day.”

[21:59] “If you want to go in and change 50 things about yourself, it’s not going to work. You have to start with a small thing.”

[44:01] “Ego is one of the things that can drive you but it can also be a detriment.”

References:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness by Jeff Olson

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Nate Dukes is an author, speaker, property investor, leader at his church, and serves on the board of a non-profit for underprivileged youth. Already an impressive resume for someone in their 30s. 

But what is even more impressive is the journey Nate took to get here. After getting busted for stealing a car, Nate spent 6 months in a Tennessee jail. He was written off as a lost cause and told that he’d never change.

Nate decided to tear up that script by getting focused on what he wants and making the right choices.

After changing his life, he shifted his mission to helping others do the same. To do this, Nate wrote and published his debut book, You’ll Never Change: Create Your Comeback and Prove Them Wrong.

In this conversation you’ll hear the story of how Nate went from successful business owner to innate to author.

We’ll discuss how to find inspiration in unlikely places, how to surround yourself with the right people, and repairing the damage of your past.

Key Takeaways:

[1:50] How Nate’s childhood influenced the broken mindset he carried into his 20s

[21:30] Nate’s initial feelings when he found himself in jail

[26:50] Nate’s first interaction after being let out of jail

[31:35] Nate surprising inspiration for personal development

[33:53] Spending time with the right people

[38:53] Repairing the damage of your past

Favorite Quotes:

[4:29] “What feels good in the moment, isn’t always good for your future.”

[14:47] “The truth is, if I wanted to, I could always go back. I could always go back to living the way I was before. But I didn’t know what my life could look like if I committed one year and did whatever it takes.”

[29:52] “I’m smoking weed and listening to Tony Robbins at the same time.”

[35:12] “I was a super messy person at that time, but there were some people that were willing to get messy with me.”

[39:19] “Having the right voices in your life is going to help you make the right choices in your life.”

[43:34] “There are people that know a version of you that doesn’t exist anymore.”

More of Nate:

Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/Youll-Never-Change-Create-comeback/dp/057888996X/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3UP25N90ZRNZ9&dchild=1&keywords=you%27ll+never+change+book+nate+dukes&qid=1628715127&sprefix=you%27ll+never+change%2Caps%2C1219&sr=8-2

www.youllneverchange.com

Pay it forward program: www.youllneverchange.com/payitforward

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

In our last episode, we covered so much material about taxes including terminology, the US tax system, and retirement accounts. One topic that came up but we didn’t get to discuss extensively was Health Savings Accounts or HSA.

I was going to let this go as I always have an endless list of topics I wish I could have covered with my guests but both Sean and I agreed HSAs were too important of a topic to be left unturned. So Sean agreed to come back on and share more of his knowledge.

A high deductible health plan paired with a HSA can be a great option to consider for young adults with minimal medical issues.

This episode is packed with a ton of information including what an HSA is, how to identify if you’re a candidate for a high deductible health plan, the mechanics of how an HSA works, and how HSAs can be used as a retirement account.

Reminder that this discussion is general and educational in nature and does not constitute tax, investment, legal, or financial advice with respect to any particular individual or taxpayer. Please consult your own advisors regarding your own unique situation.

Key Takeaways:

[2:32] What is an HSA and who qualifies

[9:46] Is a HDHP for me?

[15:12] What’s a qualified medical expense?

Favorite Quotes:

[7:50] “A HDHP is not optimal medical insurance coverage for every person but for a lot of young folks, it can work really well.”

[18:48] “There is no time limit on reimbursing yourself out of your HSA for your old medical expenses.”

Mentions:

IRS Publication 502: https://www.irs.gov/forms-pubs/about-publication-502

More of Sean:

www.FITaxGuy.com

www.mullaneyfinancial.com

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

A month ago, I went to Instagram and asked what money topics you’d like to learn more about. To my utter surprise, taxes had the most votes.

I figured side hustles, investing, even budgeting would attract more attention but maybe I failed to realize the desire you had to learn and feel more confident about this perplexing topic.

I went looking for a guest that had a deep understanding in this field but could also explain terminology and foundational concepts in a simplistic, engaging way.

In my experience, this isn’t the traditional profile of a tax professional but my guest today will deliver on that promise.

Sean Mullaney is the President of Mullaney Financial & Tax where he provides financial planning services to individuals and families. His credentials include a Bachelors in Accounting from Georgetown University, a certificate in Financial Planning, a law degree, a CPA designation, and spending the last 20 years working with corporate or individual taxes which include stops at Deloitte, PwC, the IRS, and now his own practice.

Sean is a glorified tax nerd in the best way possible. Since he apparently can’t get enough of tax, he also created a blog, FITaxGuy.com, where he writes about the intersection of tax and financial independence.

This episode will include both breadth and depth on a myriad topics related to taxes including tax brackets, standard vs itemized deductions, retirement accounts, and more.

Friendly reminder: this discussion is general and educational in nature and does not constitute tax, investment, legal, or financial advice with respect to any particular individual or taxpayer. Please consult your own advisors regarding your own unique situation.

Key Takeaways:

[9:17] What are the tax deductions you see on your paycheck?

[15:46] How do tax brackets work in the US?

[19:01] Standard deduction vs itemized deduction

[22:57] What is the difference between a 401K and IRA?

[36:31] How does vesting work?

[41:17] How do you open up an IRA?

[50:30] Why is FI important to Sean?

Favorite Quotes:

[6:14] “Tomorrow hopefully I will be better than I am today but all I can do today is do my best.”

[29:18] “The right answer starts with I’m paying attention to this stuff and I'm going to be intentional about how I do my retirement savings.”

[57:49] “Nobody is on their deathbed thinking, you know I didn’t save enough in my HSA.”

Mentions:

Nerd Wallet, Federal Income Tax Calculator: https://www.nerdwallet.com/taxes/tax-calculator

The School of Life: https://www.youtube.com/c/theschooloflifetv/videos

More of Sean:

www.FITaxGuy.com

www.mullaneyfinancial.com

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

At one point or another, you’ll probably have to deal with apartment hunting. For some, online searching and taking tours is exciting. For myself, it’s exhausting.

You find the perfect place: the floor plan works, it has the amenities you were hoping for, and it’s in the area you want to live.

That’s when you check the most important factor: how much does it cost?

If you have my luck, it’s just outside your budget. But your move out date is quickly approaching and you haven’t found a viable alternative so you sign anyway. What if you simply negotiated a better deal with your landlord?

You can do that? Yes, and in fact, my guest today is here to teach us how.

Since 2003, Justin has developed and managed apartments, rental homes, and student housing across the United States. Seldomly, has he had to negotiate with tenants, but who could blame them? There is a misunderstanding and lack of resources around this topic. That’s when Justin decided to fill the void and wrote “Rental Secrets: Reduce Your Rent, Get Better Value, and Create Quality Communities.”

In his book, Justin shares stories about his landlording experience and the inside scope on the real estate industry so renters like you are better equipped to negotiate your next lease.

Show Notes:

[2:19] What Leasing Agents mean when they say “rents are comparable with the market”

[10:19] How Justin got into real estate

[23:49] When is the best time to look for an apartment?

[27:49] What to do before you start looking for an apartment

[36:08] Understanding vacancies to find a hidden gem

[41:09] How to collect information about a future apartment community

[46:47] Negotiating with small real estate investors vs corporate investment groups

Favorite Quotes:

[20:52] “I look up in the rearview mirror and I see the refrigerator that I just bought flying out of the back of the truck.”

[37:18] “They’re trying to collapse the options. You’re trying to expand them. Expanded options means more power for you as the renter.”

[42:39] “If the property is being managed properly, the property manager should have no problem with you talking to the residents about what’s going on on the property.”

[46:15] “It’s really about knowing what your situation is and thinking through the offerings that are presented to you so you can make the best choice for you.”

More of Justin Pogue:

www.RentalSecrets.net

[email protected]

Twitter: @RentalSecret

IG: @RentalSecrets

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/