Fierce Marriage

Listen in as Ryan and Selena answer questions from readers around the world! Uncut, unedited, and unfiltered... for better or worse (a little like marriage!)

Fierce Marriage (the book) is available at https://fiercemarriagebook.com. Go there to learn more!

Don’t forget!

If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

One of the truest markers of genuine love is its staying power—its longevity, its ability to persevere, and its ability to withstand. This is the type of love Christ shows us, and its the type of love we're called to express in marriage.However, our culture and our humanity would have us believe something else. Without a biblical understanding of love, we're prone to follow the whims of emotion and experience. We risk confusing infatuation for love. We believe the lie that love can only be found or stumbled upon rather than built, nurtured, and acted out.

We risk believing that love is fickle and fragile—that it's something that can break or fade over time. That couldn't be further from the truth. Love is strong, not weak. It's decisive, not elusive. And love is BIG... so much bigger than our emotions can express or our moods can decide.

How is love so big and so strong? In short, love is not a human idea. Love is God's idea, created by his design, and sustained by his strength.And there is no greater display of love than Christ on the cross. John 15:13 says this, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." No love is stronger than God's love in Christ, which is why we're called to love as Christ loves—fiercely, unconditionally, perfectly.The catch is this: we can't love without God's help. We need to experience his love in Christ and be fueled by the transformation it brings.

In today's episode, we'll discuss the above and more!

Couple's Challenge

Read through 1 Corinthians 13 and do two things:

* Write down how Jesus shows you each characteristic of love.

* Write down how you can show each characteristic to each other.

Once you've done that, discuss!

Spread the Love

If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Listen in as Ryan and Selena discuss how to deal with anger in marriage (i.e. conflict, frustration, bitterness) in productive, biblical ways.

Couple's Challenge

Set aside some time to talk and write down anger triggers. Try to trace them back to their root causes and identify why they make you feel this way? Dive into scripture and discover what it says and how it instructs in the area of anger and the roots of it in your heart. James and Colossians are great places to start.

Spread the Love

If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Is respect earned, given, or some combination of the two? What should a wife do if she wants to respect her husband but he's not acting respectably? The biblical idea of respect in marriage can be tricky against our cultural backdrop, but it's worth hashing through because we see a beautiful picture of the gospel on the other side.

In this episode, Ryan and Selena discuss the concept of wives respecting their husbands as instructed in 1 Peter 3:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

1 Peter 3:1-2

To best understand these instructions, it's vital to understand the context of 1 Peter as a book and what he's addressing in the early church. Listen in as we start that conversation!

Couple's Challenge

Read 1 Peter 1-5. Seek an understanding of the context of the book and discuss chapter 3 in terms of what it means for your marriage.

Spread the Love

If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Sex is so much more than physical and its purposes extend far beyond our immediate pleasure. How exactly has God designed sex for his eternal purposes? How can we enjoy intimacy more deeply knowing that we're profoundly reflecting certain aspects of God's grace and goodness in the gospel?

In this episode, Ryan and Selena explore three purposes of sex as found in Genesis 1 and expanded upon through Ephesians 5. If you're looking to further your understanding of sexual intimacy and increase your enjoyment, you will likely find something helpful in this episode.

Don't Forget

If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

There are few things more disheartening than seeing a husband and a wife who have lost their desire and curiosity for each other. In today's episode, we discuss exactly why a vibrant dating life is vital to a healthy marriage. We clearly define the objectives of "dating", discuss how to make it a priority, and explore all sorts of fun and unique date ideas.

Even with the variety of adventures we discuss, they all have one thing in common: they're designed to grow your friendship, which is absolutely essential for a strong, thriving marriage.

Don't Forget

If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Many couples experience separation for days, weeks, or even months because of work-related travel. If you or your husband/wife travel for a corporate job or military deployment, you will face unique challenges when it comes to staying connected emotionally (and physically), as well as maintaining spouse-honoring (and God-honoring) integrity while apart.

In today's podcast, Ryan and Selena discuss five ways to fight for personal integrity while one of you is away for work.

Show overview:

Proverbs 25:28A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

5 Ways to Fight for Your Integrity While Traveling for Work

 

* Do healthy things to stay busy (have healthy fun)

* Read, go to a good movie, workout.

* Know yourself: what tempts you and steer clear of it.

* Establish a solid accountability system:

* Your spouse

* Check in questions

* Trusted, respected friends

* Software filtering

* Bring your spouse “with” you. Mention him/her intentionally in conversations with the opposite sex.

* Gather with brothers/sisters in Christ.

* Attend a church service, stay with people/acquaintances instead of staying alone)

 

Don't Forget

If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask ) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Every marriage begins with purpose, passion, and intentional pursuit, but few marriages stay that way. Maintaining passion and joy in marriage is largely dependent both spouses committing to a lifelong pursuit. And a lifelong pursuit is only sustainable (truly) through experiencing the radical love of God in Jesus.

In this episode, Ryan and Selena explore everything they learned about pursuing each other after completing the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Even after nearly 15 years of marriage, they're still learning how to love one another like Christ.

You can join the challenge by visiting 31DayPursuit.com (https://31daypursuit.com).

Today's Quick Q&A Questions:

* How to connect when schedules are hectic and you can't seem to make enough time?

* How to keep conversations fresh on date nights when you feel like you don't know what to talk about?

* How do I handle unsolicited PMs from the opposite sex?

Don’t forget!

If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask ) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Marriage is a magnificent gift, but we're imperfect people. We have a propensity for poison: our sinful desires tend to poison the pure things in our life. God uses marriage to sanctify us.

Verses mentioned: Romans 3:23, Romans 3:10, 1 John 1:10

The 3 P's That Can Poison Your Marriage

1: Pennies (Finances)

Pennies poison our marriage by creating mistaken identity through comparing or a wrong source of security. This inevitably leads to fear and frustration that can strain your relationship in multiple ways.

The antidote? Understanding that God is sovereign, loving, and faithful to provide.

Read: Matthew 6:35-31

2: Perversion (of Sex and Intimacy)

Sex is a physical confirmation of a spiritual truth/covenant. A perversion is "the alteration of something from its original course." For sex and intimacy, pornography addiction distorts one or both spouse's view of what sex should entail.

Ask yourselves the question: if all you ever knew about sex was what you discovered as a married couple (without outside influences of media, pornography, etc), how would your sex life look? You would be enough for each other

The antidote:

* Remember that sex is a good gift from God, one he wants you to enjoy.

* Have a transparent conversation and discuss your thoughts and goals for your sex life. Where can you grow?

* If you have unaddressed addiction or trauma, make steps toward healing: counseling, get pastoral care, addiction recovery.

3: Pride

Pride is the root of every sin. It's what makes us think we know better than God—that our way is the better way.

The antidote: seeing yourself for who you are (a sinner saved by grace) and seeing Jesus for who he really is (the only One who saves).

Don’t forget!

If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Listen in as Ryan and Selena answer questions from readers around the world! Uncut, unedited, and unfiltered... for better or worse (a little like marriage!)

Don’t forget!

If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.

Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.