Fierce Marriage

Every couple deals with money issues at some point in their marriage. It's continually a source of stress and a trigger for arguments. Almost every problem around money stems from a lack of margin in every area of life. We tend to live our lives right to the edges, working long hours, spending too much, and struggling to find any semblance of peace in the process. Many (including us) have bought the subtle lie that money can somehow make everything better. So we work harder, strive more, and seek joy where it can't be found. Even if we do manage to get more money, we soon realize that it's not the savior we thought it would be. This inevitably puts stress on your relationship and can create division in your marriage.

What's the fix? We explored exactly that in today's podcast. Listen in as we share honestly about some struggles we've had and take a deep look at Hebrews 13:5 and its surrounding context to discern God's desire for how we view and use money in our lives.

Mentioned in Today’s Show:

* Related post: Managing Financial Stress in Your Marriage (https://fiercemarriage.com/managing-financial-stress-in-your-marriage)

* Learn more about The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge, our couple’s devotional.

* Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse! (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions)

Show Notes:

* Highs/Lows

* Discussion: Money issues continue to plague couples. Why?

* Many think their problems can be fixed with more money… but that’s not the case.

* We reviewed Hebrews 13:5 (https://biblia.com/bible/esv/Heb%2013.5):Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

* The context of Hebrews: It’s a book written to encourage and remind Christians of the supremacy and sufficiency of Christ.

* Chapter 13 is all about “Sacrifices Pleasing to God.” This is all in the context of Christ’s sufficient work on the cross.

* Loving money is like “taking another lover” when God has made a covenant promise to us.

* Trusting money instead of God is to betray his love.

* Couple’s Challenge (see below)

* We discussed The 31-Day Pursuit

* Rapid Fire Q&A

* Weekly Letter Reading

Today’s Couples Challenge:

* Pray together for open hearts regarding your finances.

* Read through Hebrews 13, pay close attention to the context surrounding verse 5.

* Discuss areas of your marriage and how they may be indicating “love of money”.

* Discuss how love can be a tool in your lives for God’s glory.

Don’t forget!

Please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

If left unchecked, your social media life can create problems in your marriage. The advent of social media sites has created much conversation about the privacy of users’ information. The result: each has increased user control over who can see each update, image, interaction, and like. In general, it’s a great improvement but for married couples, it raises an important question of transparency and accountability about your “social media life”.

In today's podcast, we discuss Proverbs 4 and its various implications for how we wisely conduct ourselves online for the good of our marriages.

Mentioned in Today's Show:

* The Phone Drop Test (blog post) (https://fiercemarriage.com/phone-drop-test)

* Is your Facebook Life a Wedge in Your Marriage? (blog post) (https://fiercemarriage.com/is-your-facebook-life-a-wedge-in-your-marriage)

* Learn more about The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge, our couple's devotional.

* Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse! (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions)

Show Notes:

Communication: Five Habits for Hearing and Being Heard

* Highs/Lows

* Discussion: What should I do when I feel like my spouse misuses social media (namely, Facebook)?

* We reviewed Proverbs 4:23: "Keep your heart with all diligence..."

* Solomon wrote it. He had access to anything he wanted... instantly. Kind of like we do on the internet today.

* We looked at the larger context of Proverbs 4.

* Hear wisdom, keep it close, and "here's how to apply it"

* How do we apply wisdom to social media?

* "Open windows, open doors, lights fully turned on."

* No hidden accounts or passwords.

* Be transparent with each other.

* Talk about questionable interactions.

* Being very mindful of posted imagery (by you and others).

* Don't PM/DM/Message anyone of the opposite gender (unless in a group context)

* Don't vent anger or frustration on social media at the expense of your spouse; it's always unproductive.

* Bottom line: Wisdom compels us to guard our hearts against paths that lead to harm.

* Couple's Challenge (see below)

* We discussed The 31-Day Pursuit (https://31daypursuit.com)

* Rapid Fire Q&A

* Weekly Letter Reading

Today's Couples Challenge:

* Discuss this podcast (both listen to it)

* Read through Proverbs 4 together and find one or two verses that jump out to you.

* Take a personal inventory for hidden areas in your life/marriage that go against wisdom.

* Make a plan to discuss hidden areas before they take root.

* Create a plan for healthy interaction with others and each other on social media.

Don't forget!

Please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just go to https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast)

Communication is not just about saying and hearing words—it's all about relaying ideas accurately with the intent of building a mutual understanding. When you practice healthy habits for talking, listening, and processing together, it's for the good of your marriage and ultimately, for the glory of God.

If we are to have marriages that are healthy, enjoyable, and intentional, we must learn and apply wise principles to how we communicate. We must heed Solomon's words in Proverbs 18:2:

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.

Bad communication habits can stifle growth, inhibit intimacy, and create endless spouts of bickering, arguing, and division. However, healthy communication will fuel growth and intimacy and make your marriage resilient against otherwise devastating disagreements.

In today's podcast, we discuss biblical themes for healthy communication, why we are called to point our spouses to the gospel through how we listen, and five tangible steps (habits) that lead us down the path toward healthier communication.

Mentioned in Today's Show:

* Resource: 5 Indispensable Habits for Rock Solid Communication (https://fiercemarriage.com/5-indispensable-habits-rock-solid-communication)

* Learn more about Datebox (https://fiercemarriage.com/datebox) and get your first month FREE.

* Learn more about The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge, our couple's devotional.

* Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse! (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions)

Show Notes:

Communication: 5 Habits for Hearing and Being Heard the Healthy Way

* Highs and Lows

* Dysfunction in marriage often manifests itself first through communication

* Two themes in scripture around communication:

* A call to wisdom: be slow to speak, fast to listen, fast to wait

* Intentional communication with the purpose of being understood and understanding others

* Communication corruptors create unintentional misunderstandings

* Five habits for healthier communication:

* Talk intentionally

* Listen intently

* Seek Understanding

* Act out of Love

* Rest in Your Covenant

* Couple's Challenge (see below)

* Rapid Fire Q&A

* Read a letter from a wife to her husband

* Housekeeping and announcements

* Prayer

Today's Couples Challenge:

Listen to the podcast. Talk through the above points. Create a set of ground rules that protect your marriage against common pitfalls in your communication. Examples:

* We won't start heavy conversations after we're both tired.

* We will always resolve hard conversations.

* We will not use hurtful language or namecalling when angry.

* We understand that it's sometimes healthiest to step away from the situation to think and pray.

* Etc...

Don't forget!

Please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!

Do you have a question?

If you have a question, ask! During each episode, we encourage listeners to share their stories, ask questions, or write letters to their loved ones. Anything goes... Just go to https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast to leave a question, comment, or story.

Keeping healthy priorities are a constant battle for modern marriages. By default we tend to our priorities in life and marriage as linear, or as a list:

* God

* Family

* Others

While this list isn't necessarily bad, we believe there's a better way.

In today's episode of the Fierce Marriage Podcast, we discuss a new way of looking at priorities that has revolutionized our marriage and transformed how we live our lives. We start the conversation by looking at two themes in Scripture:

* Our finitude as humans

* Our call as believers.

Join in as we chip away at this massive truth to be had about priorities in light of the gospel.

Show notes:

* Rapid Fire Q&A: Selena is forced to answer some tough questions... namely, one she never thought she'd have to face.

* Hear one of the most poetic letters from a husband to his wife. (Go to https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast to write and send a letter to your spouse!)

* We discuss priorities:

* Scripture: Matthew 6:33 and Psalm 90:12

* Common problems What's wrong with "The List"

* We propose a better/more integrated model for priorities

* The Couple's Challenge (See below)

* We finished with our Highs & Lows for the week prior.

* Prayer

Today's Couples Challenge:

Create a family vision statement (family verse, mission, core values, envision statements). Listen to the episode for more details about what this could mean for your family!

Many couples wonder how to gain agreement about sex and intimacy when life is busy, schedules are hectic, and expectations for sex seem constantly misaligned.

If you're at all like us, you and your spouse probably don't desire sex the same way or with the same frequency. This can cause frustration in your marriage that, if left untreated or undiscussed, can turn into bitterness, division, and worse. Sex isn't everything in marriage, but it is very important to be unified and satisfied in your sex life together—for your enjoyment and for God's ultimate glory.

In today's episode of The Fierce Marriage Podcast, we'll discuss:

* What if my spouse desires sex more often than I do?

* How can we be intimate without feeling obligated to do so?

* How do we align our expectations for sex in marriage?

Show Notes:

* We read 1 Corinthians 7:5:

* "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

* A few cautions when reading the above passage:

* It's not a tool to be used to demand sex in marriage.

* In context, this verse is about acting in mutual agreement to the common goal of greater intimacy and reliance on Christ.

* By choosing to abstain from sex for a time, to focus on spiritual growth. This is not a form of asceticism, but rather a method of grace-fueled worship.

* If a couple is not actively agreeing to abstain from sex, they're passively (or actively) agreeing to NOT abstain from sex. If that's the case, your sex life should look "normal and healthy" for you, but it may take some digging to discover what that means. We proposed two steps:

* Clearly define what "not abstaining" looks like and what a healthy, normal sex life looks like in your marriage.

* Calibrate your expectations for sex. Read our post, "The Spectrum of Sex".

* Couples Challenge:

* Read The Spectrum of Sex together or separately.

* Discuss your expectations for sex, and what your spectrum might look like.

* Identify what a normal, healthy sex life looks like for your marriage and within God's design for sexuality.

* Create an action plan for building a normal, healthy sex life together.

It's our first episode so some introductions are in order! In this episode of The Fierce Marriage Podcast, we'll answer common reader questions like: Who are we? What is Fierce Marriage and why did we start it? What does it mean to truly have Fierce Marriage? For fun, we talk about what it's like working together, our weekly highs and lows, and more. Most importantly, we discuss what it means to have Jesus truly at the center of your marriage. We also have a few hearty laughs as Selena answers this week's "Rapid-fire Q&A" questions. Thanks for listening! Detailed show notes are available at https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast

The purpose of this primer is to provide a few quick caveats to the early episodes of the Fierce Marriage Podcast. We hope this sets the stage for your experience and makes it a better one! If you're new to the podcast, welcome! We're excited to grow alongside you.

Thanks for listening!

Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to FierceMarriage.com/Podcast (https://FierceMarriage.com/Podcast) to leave a comment or to ask a question!

Become a Patron!

Support for the Fierce Marriage Podcast comes from partners like you via Patreon. If our content has helped you, we'd be honored if you'd consider becoming a Patreon supporter! Visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage (https://Patreon.com/FierceMarriage).