Fight for a Happy Life with Sensei Ando: Martial Arts for Everyday Life

Welcome to Episode #81 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “The Law of the Jungle and Self-Defense.”

Can a smaller, weaker animal survive an attack by a larger, stronger animal?

The truth is UGLY, but I’m going to tell you anyway!

If you can handle it, I’m going to examine the benefits of training in the martial arts as well expose the limitations. Let’s face it—you hear a lot of nonsense out there. Is training really worth all that time, sweat, and money?

Spoiler alert: I’m still training!

Of course, this show is just a place for me to shoot my mouth off, so if you think my opinion is just more nonsense, leave a comment or send an email. I’ll be happy to hear from you!

Okay, here it comes… like it or not! 🙂

To LISTEN to “The Law of the Jungle and Self-Defense,” you can either:

To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page.

For more discussion on being the underdog in self-defense, check out these two other podcasts…

Tips for the Little Guy

Two Big Lies in the Martial Arts

Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #81 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better.

Today, things are going to get ugly. Are you feeling brave? Today, I want to take a walk in the jungle.

Here’s the thing. I got an email the other day from a martial artist named Becky. Hey, Becky, shout out to you. Thanks for writing.

Now, Becky has a concern that even if she trains really, really hard in the martial arts, even if she puts all of her time and energy and passion into it, it’s still possible that some brutish thug can overwhelm her even if he’s got no training whatsoever that she’s just going to be outmatched and beat up.

Now, this is not the first time this question has come up. If you’ve been listening to this show, I’ve raised this topic a couple of times, and I’ll put the links below to those episodes just in case this rambling is not enough for you. I have other thoughts on this topic.

But today, I wanted to take a new approach. I have another thought that I haven’t really brought up before, but like I said, this could get ugly. We’re going to talk about the Law of the Jungle. And the Jungle, my friends, is a scary, horrible place. You may not like what you find in the Jungle.

But I do believe if you’re brave enough to step into the darkness, we will find some bright spots along the way. So gird your loins, get your coffee, do what you have to do. Are you with me? Then let’s get steppin.

You are alone and you are attacked by someone a head taller, 50 pounds heavier. Maybe in their 20s. It’s a guy. He’s got some kind of athletic base, not necessarily trained in martial arts, but maybe he’s played some rugby or some football, so he’s tough. And for whatever reason, he’s got his eyes on you. Jumps on you, and is committed to hurting or maybe even killing you. That’s the scenario.

Now, to be honest is very difficult, but be honest with yourself. What are your chances of surviving that attack right now? I don’t care what your rank is, what you’ve studied, how old you are, just right now, what’s your first reaction to that question?

Jumped on by a bigger, stronger, crazier animal in the jungle. Are you going to survive that situation or not?

Now, let me be clear. I’d like to set up this context as self-defense only. I’m not talking about making someone tap or necessarily killing them. I’m saying that when you’re attacked by this larger, stronger, faster, crazier animal, that you will be able to survive that, stop them from getting what they want from that situation and escaping.

So what are your chances? Now, it’s very easy in the martial arts to have one or two thoughts. One, you might think–

Man, I get beat up in class all the time. I’ve been here for years, but in sparring I still get beat up. If I’m grappling, I still get tapped out. And look, I’m going to be honest about it. When someone’s bigger and stronger than me, I have a really hard time. I’m not making progress. And therefore, the law of the jungle means the bigger, stronger animal wins every time against the smaller, weaker, slower, older, kinder animal.

That’s one approach. The other answer could be a feeling of–

Are you kidding me? Do you know who my teacher is? Do you know how tough my school is? Do you know how long I’ve been doing this? I am invincible. I can’t be beaten. I don’t care who it is. If they don’t even have any training, they don’t have a chance against me.

Alright, so those are the two extremes, perhaps of attitude. And of course, there’s a lot of propaganda here in the middle. You might have one group that really oversells how competent you can be at self-defense. They’re saying–

Oh, study this. This is the most deadly system ever devised. These are the most deadly techniques taught to elite army groups and, you know, militia type groups. This is what you want. Never fear again. Never walk in fear again.

That kind of pitch. On the other side, you might have someone who just says–

Look, martial arts is great for your health. It’s great for a sense of community. Get you out of the house. It’s fun. It’s goal setting. But look, at the end of the day, someone bigger, stronger, crazier will always beat the smaller animal. There’s no way around that. That’s just the way it is. That’s life.

Okay, so we have a pretty wide spectrum here of attitudes about martial arts, either what you believe on your own or what someone is trying to sell you their belief system.

Well, I happen to have the truth. Well, my version of the truth today, at least. Check back with me in the year. But today, I really want to make sure that you see that there is a spectrum.

On the one hand, you always have a puncher’s chance. If you put any two fighters together, there’s always a chance that the one who is the underdog, just in their panic, in their sheer desperation of just throwing fists or feet around, can make a hit on a vital spot of some kind, the temple or the neck or the groin, and hurt the bigger, stronger, trained animal.

That’s a puncher’s chance. Just no training whatsoever, go wild, throw something up there, and it might just work. So let’s say that’s one out of a hundred times.

On the other extreme of the spectrum, you have this concept that the bigger, stronger animal always wins. There is no chance for you. No chance. Bigger, stronger animal always wins.

I think we have to be honest about where we fall in somewhere, somewhere on that spectrum. I don’t believe you never have a chance and I don’t believe that you always can win. That’s the honest truth about the Law of the Jungle.

You always have a chance to survive, always. But that same rule applies against you. So that’s the double-edged sword.

On the one hand, you can always defend yourself. Never let anyone tell you that you have no chance. So it is always worth fighting, always. On the other hand, no matter who you are or what you train or how long you train, you never have 100% guarantee that you are going to survive.

Anyone can be killed. Anyone. So don’t buy the hype either way. You always have a chance. You never have a chance of always winning.

Okay, so for the sake of this discussion, let’s set up a scenario where you can fight someone in a self-defense context who’s 50 pounds heavier than you, a head taller than you, athletic, crazy, and committed. And like a video game, you’re going to get a reset.

Let’s say you fight that animal 100 times, okay? Do the first fight, first scenario, and then we’re going to clear that one off. Let’s start off fresh again. You do it a second time. So this is how I want you to think about it.

How many times out of 100 could you defend yourself against that bigger, stronger animal in the jungle? Let’s start from the bottom. I don’t believe in a zero chance. I believe you always have at least one chance out of 100 to defend yourself. That’s no training, no preparation, just blind desperation.

Even if all you can do is bite and you’re in a wheelchair, and you have one arm, if they come close enough to touch you, you can touch them. Maybe you could bite their nose. There’s always one chance you could deter a bigger, stronger animal from hurting you.

Now let’s say, okay, you’ve thought about self-defense a little bit. And you thought about, well, if I can only bite, where would I bite? Or if I can use my hands, where would I put my hands? Oh, I guess the eyes, the throat, the groin. Okay.

Now let’s just say you have that basic understanding of targeting, you’ve thought about it. And at least that much, you’ve prepared yourself for the idea of fighting off a bad guy, a bigger bad guy. I would say right off the bat, your odds have improved. Your chances improved from one out of a hundred. Let’s double it.

Let’s say now two times out of a hundred, because instead of just wildly flailing, you’re at least looking for eyes, groin, or throat. Let’s just limit it to those. So that’s kind of exciting. A little bit of knowledge and a little bit of mental preparation might double your chances. That’s the positive. On the other side, that’s only two out of a hundred times, maybe, that you get it to work.

Okay, so let’s step up another level. Let’s say now you also buy a heavy bag. Let’s say you maybe shadow box a little bit once in a while.

So very limited training. But you start figuring out how to use your body as a weapon. You start looking at your knuckles a little differently. You start squeezing your hands and bring a little of awareness into how strong they can be if you’re gripping something.

Maybe you do a couple of knee strikes into your hands once in a while. Maybe you just twist your elbows a little bit before you take a shower. So let’s just say you start bringing in some awareness of your body as a weapon. And you combine that with a little bit of thinking about where you would hit a bad guy.

Now I would say, once again, your odds on that spectrum have improved. And let’s just, to make math easy, let’s double it. So let’s say with no training whatsoever, you had one out of a hundred chances. And then you doubled it. And now I’ll give you three or four times out of a hundred.

If you have some knowledge of how to use your body a little bit, some knowledge of targeting, in the jungle, bigger, stronger animal attacks you, let’s say three or four, I’ll give you four times out of a hundred, you could deter them from hurting you, make them leave you alone.

So this is exciting, right? You’ve doubled your chances and then doubled them again. And I don’t think it took a lot of training to do that. You see where I’m going here, right? We’re just slowly working our way across the spectrum from one out of a hundred chances to two or three or four.

Ultimately, that’s what this whole game is. Martial arts training, I mean. It’s about increasing your odds, increasing your percentage of successes of survival. So now the bigger questions start coming in to play.

How much are you training? How much are you willing to train? What are you training? How are you training? How much money are you willing to invest? Which teachers are you willing to travel and meet with? What kind of injuries are you willing to sustain?

We’ve got a million variables now to play with. But let’s make things simple for now. Let’s continue down the spectrum. Let’s say you decide, you know what, I want to take Krav Maga for a weekend seminar. Or let’s say, Hey, my buddy does BJJ. Maybe once a month, I can convince him or her to roll around the living room and just practice a couple of scenarios with an actual person.

Great. Now, that kind of thing, I think, again, is going to start moving that needle. Maybe now instead of three or four times out of a hundred, maybe get to five or six, maybe not doubling yet. A weekend seminar, a little bit of rolling around with someone. I’m not going to double your percentage yet, but you moved up a little bit. Great.

Now let’s make the commitment. You enjoy rolling around, you enjoy that little bit of experimentation. It was a good seminar. So you commit six months. Let’s say you say, I’m going to take BJJ for six months. I’m going to go and roll in Krav Maga for six months.

Now I’m going to scooch up a little bit officially to six or seven out of a hundred. Let’s say you continue that into a year, two years, three years, four years, five years. Okay, now maybe we’re getting somewhere– not too far– but let’s say after five years of training in a martial art, a martial art that, just to make things simple, let’s say it’s a good program with a good teacher, and it’s giving you some good feedback on your skills. Here’s the bad news…

I’m very proud of you for committing to all of that training, by the way. But my feeling is that, well, maybe still ten times out of a hundred, that you’ll be able to defend yourself successfully against someone bigger, stronger, crazier, crazier and committed. That doesn’t make me happy to tell you that. I’m just kind of going from my experience, which may be different from yours or anyone else’s.

But I would say if you’re five years into a pretty solid program, you’re still at quite a disadvantage if that person who played some football, who’s 50 pounds heavier– that’s a big, strong animal coming at you. And if you disagree with that, and that’s okay, we were just talking about this.

If your first reaction, though, is, Oh, that’s crazy. Come on! Five years of training against someone bigger and stronger? Come on, I could definitely do better than 10 times out of 100.

Well, maybe you can. But it’s also possible that maybe you’re not training with the kinds of animals I’m talking about. It’s very easy to get lulled in the martial arts into a sense of confidence when you train with people kind of your size, or they’re not that athletic, or they’re not that committed to their training. And you say, Well, I got a big guy at my dojo.

Okay, but is he a world class athlete? Is he completely committed to killing you when you train? Those things make a difference. When someone gets their hands on you and they’re at a higher level of athleticism and strength, their muscle fibers just are not built like yours. And I’m not just talking about trying to compare females to males. I’m a male. And the first time you touch someone who’s like an elite athlete or you feel their muscles firing, their speed is so much greater than mine. Their strength is so much greater than mine. The way that they can explode, it’s like they’re teleporting.

For a while when I was younger, I thought I was pretty fast. My punches, my kicks, my footwork. And then you get squared up with somebody who, and again, without even much training, they’re just built differently. And I’m going to go into this topic in a different podcast, about just elite athletes and what we can do to try to even up the scales.

But isn’t that what martial arts is? It’s the person at the disadvantage trying to even the scales against someone who outclasses them. Better at balance, and coordination, and toughness, pain tolerance, drive, tunnel vision, killing instinct. Holy smokes, that could be really frightening.

So again, if you think five years of training to, if I’m low balling you at 10 times out of 100 as a success rate, I just want to put it back on you to suggest that are you really training with people who scare you? Because when you do, I think that’s what’s given me a more humble estimation of my skill level at the five year mark. It’s just frightening when you touch that kind of person.

Okay, let’s move on. Let’s say you stay in that program 10 years. 10 years into martial arts training. And I’m talking three to five classes a week, at least an hour to two hours per pop, doing a little home training as well, supplementing, of course. Where does that put you?

What do you think I’m going to say? And I’m curious what you would say, so please let me know in the comments. 10 years of training, and now you get attacked by this bigger, stronger, faster, more athletic animal. What are your chances now, do you think?

I’m going to give you 20 to 30. That’s what I’m going to for myself. 10 years of training, maybe 20. High end 30. Basically double, okay? That 5 years of training to 10 years of training, I’ll double it to like 20 to 30.

Now does that seem like I’m lowballing again? It might. And I expect some pushback on this, so feel free, it’s okay. I’m just being honest. The bottom line here is that there are limits to what you can do.

And let’s just push it out all the way now to the end of the spectrum. I’ve been training for over 30 years in the martial arts. I think a lot of my training has had really good feedback. I don’t think all of it has, but I think much of it has. I have been blessed to find some training partners who outclass me in every way, physically, and in mental toughness, I would also say.

I think some people just have that fighting gene, and they can take pain, and they’re not afraid of making contact. I think I had issues with all of those things, so I’ve never presented myself as a tough guy. I’m not, and I’m not particularly athletic. I’m not, couldn’t make track team, you know, all kinds of things I couldn’t make. Martial arts was a place for someone like me. Can’t get off the bench. Well, martial arts will accept you. Here I am.

So having said that, with over 30 years of training, I think on my best day, my, my perkiest, my peppiest, my most flexible, most motivated and impassioned state, I’m gonna give myself 70. 60 to 70 range. If you’re a little more athletic than I am or a little tougher than I am, I’ll get you up to 80, let’s say.

Out of 100 times you’re attacked, bigger, stronger, crazier, savage animal, I still don’t think you’ll ever get to 100%. I hope we agree on that. But I’m still gonna pull you down into the realm of 80 out of 100 times that you are able to defend yourself successfully, survive.

How do you feel about that? I told you this was gonna get ugly today. That would be probably the most ugly part of this. Even if you find a great teacher, find a great style, you find great training partners, my feeling is that even with decades of study, you’re still gonna hit a limit.

And by the way, if you’ve been training for 30 years or more, there’s another factor to consider, age. So even if you’re knocking it out of the park, and you’re a freak, and you’re an 80 to 90 percent, okay, you’re not me, you’re better than me, you’ve trained more, and genetically you’re just ahead of me, great. I’m still not gonna give you 100 percent. No way, uh-uh.

But let’s say you get to 90 out of 100 times, you can defend yourself successfully against someone bigger and stronger. Okay? But now you’re getting older. And all of that hard training, which you did, is really starting to catch up with you.

Your shoulder does not work the way it used to. Your knees, you cannot zig and zag the way you used to. Your cardio, your muscle tone, things are dropping, your body is now starting to get ready for the great sleep, the big sleep, the great dirt nap is coming.

Mother Nature is the only one who can kick your butt 100% of the time, right? So now when you factor in age and limited capabilities, all of that hard work and all of that training, you’re going to start sliding down on the other side, right? The other side of the hill. You’re going to go downhill now.

So maybe at your peak of skills, you’re at 80, 90 times out of 100, but now you’re 60 years old. Now where are you? Please be honest with yourself or project yourself into the future. However great you think you are now, put it out there.

When you’re 60, 70 years old, how much of that have you held onto? How much of the type of training that you have done, can you still do? Or are you sitting on the side? Are you retired? Are you talking a lot about what you used to be able to do? And now you can’t do as much. Now your percentages start coming down again.

And now let’s say you’re infirm. Let’s say you are in a wheelchair or on a cane or a walker. You’ve had some operations. You’ve had a heart attack. You’ve got parts of your body that aren’t original.

Okay, so here we are. Maybe now you’re back down to 40 times out of 100 at 60 years old. Maybe now you’re 65 years old and you’re at 20 times out of 100 with your skills. And now we’re backsliding.

Again, the good news is you still always have that puncher’s chance. You still always have a chance to survive. But the ugly truth, the law of the jungle is that bigger, crazier, stronger, younger animal always has an advantage.

They always have their puncher’s chance plus the advantages of weight and size and speed and explosiveness and commitment and taking it up to a killing level before you are, if you’re a kinder animal. We cannot push those things aside.

That is the honest truth about all martial arts training. That’s the way it is. It’ll never get you to 100 percent. And at some point, it’s going to come boomeranging back down towards one out of a hundred. That’s the way it is.

So am I saying give up on martial arts training? Certainly not. I’m training more now than ever. And I’ll be turning 50 very shortly. So this is the choice now that you have to make and everybody has to make.

Either the training that you’re doing now or the training that you’re signing up for in the future. You have two choices, two answers to that question, okay?

On the one side, no, it’s not worth it. It’s simply not worth it. If you tell me that just by talking about martial arts a little bit and thinking about it, I double my chances from one to two and with a couple of weekend seminars here and there and a little bit of extra thinking about exercise with a heavy bag, I can go from two to four. You know what, that’s all the time and money and effort I’m willing to invest and I’m happy with that.

I’m a little bit better off than the guy next to me, but I’m not going to put myself up for all that time and money and driving and training and injuries. It’s not worth it to me. I’m just going to stay right there. Not worth it.

And if you tell me five years of some martial art only gets me up to eight, something like that, or you tell me ten years of training gets me to ten or at best twenty out of a hundred, it’s just not worth it. No problem. That doesn’t offend me at all.

Make your choice because don’t forget, the time that you invest in martial arts training is time away from your family. It’s time away from traveling. It’s time away from everything else that you might enjoy in life. Gardening, cooking, painting, hula hooping, I don’t know. But there is a trade-off. So it may not be worth it to you.

Maybe it was worth it to you when you were younger. Maybe now that you’re older, not so much. Because you already know that there’s a limit to what you got out of it and it’s only sliding off now. You might say that’s enough. I get it. No hard feelings on that.

On the other side, you might answer, it is worth it. Because martial arts is more than just self-defense. Martial arts might be your gym membership. That might be how you stay in shape, keep your heart in good shape, your cardiovascular system, your circulation, your muscle tone, your focus, your clarity, your mood.

There are so many benefits from just exercise in general. The camaraderie of getting to a social club where you can spar and roll with other people and meet other people. That might be your gymnasium. That might be your social club. That might be your therapy session.

There are so many benefits to just getting up and training in a martial arts program of any kind that you may say it’s absolutely worth it. Okay, maybe on the self-defense side, it only takes me so far, but on the improvement of my life side of it, it’s so vast.

Of course, I’m going to keep training and I’ll train till the day I die. Can you guess which side of this question I’m on? I’m training for life because I’m training for a happy life. I’m not just training to defend myself against wild animals. That’s part of it.

It always has been, but I get so many other benefits out of martial arts training. I’m never going to stop. So that’s my choice. What about you?

How are you training right now? Are you getting what you want out of it? I ask you that question all the time. Do you see yourself continuing to train? If so, are you under this impression that your self-defense skills will always keep improving and will never backslide?

Because I would say, here is my honest opinion, if you tell me that self-defense is the only reason that you’re training in martial arts, if that’s it, if you already have social needs met and physical fitness needs met someplace, and you have your therapy and your spirituality training someplace else, and you really are just coming to a martial arts class because you worry about being attacked, then I would say buy a gun, carry a knife, get a tool. That’s what they’re for.

Train with those tools responsibly. Don’t think that that’s just an automatic given that you can use those well either. But the amount of time it’s going to take you to train to use a tool of some kind, pepper spray, knife, gun, bat, stick, is so much less than trying to use your hands and go through all of the empty hand combat training of a normal martial arts program. It’s so much simpler that way.

And you’ll have so much of your life back. You won’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on schooling. You will not spend hours and hours in your car driving to and from class. You’ll save on laundry detergent. My god, I do a lot of wash.

You’re going to save on injuries and surgeries, most likely. It’s just inevitable part of the path. And you’ll have more time to spend with your family and all those other things you love to do in life.

So I represent Happy Life Martial Arts. And as a person who believes in building a happy life, if you’re only worried about self-defense, I think looking into a weapon is a great idea. That’s not me. I’m on the other side. Martial Arts is part of how I’ve built a happy life on all fronts in all categories. So I’m going to keep going. That’s what I’m doing.

I also believe in weapons though. So on that side of it, if you’re going to walk through this jungle, as we all are, I think I’m going to train for all of the benefits that martial arts provides. And on the self-defense front specifically, I do believe in weapons. I don’t teach them on YouTube, because I think that might be irresponsible at this point of what I’m trying to do. But I absolutely believe in them. Yes.

So this is a big question. How are you training? How much of your life are you willing to devote to your training? And are you being clear headed about what you’re going to get out of your training? Because I say again, there are plenty of people out there who might lead you to believe that you’re just going to keep getting better.

With self-defense, if you just learn that one more form, if you just go to that one more seminar, if you just go meet that one more teacher, if you just practice one more hour, that it never ends, that there’s this never ending improvement, never ending success rate, I should divide those two statements. I should divide that one statement into two.

Yes, you can keep improving. My stances, my kicking, my breathing, my attitude, my mentality, my strategy, my tactics, I am making improvements all of the time. Absolutely true. However, that does not mean that my success rate in a wild attack is going up all the time. Does that make sense?

I am becoming more efficient in how I use my body. I am becoming more comfortable in doing what I have to do to be successful. But on the other hand, I’m getting older. And the tough guys are not getting less tough. So my success rate is going down while my improvement is coming up.

Those are both possible because now all I’m talking about is slowing my backslide. However, I have peaked through technique and strategy over the years. And then I start coming down.

Definitely in my late 30s, the types of training that I was doing then, I was starting to have a backslide there. I was getting slower. There was talk about a hip implant. There was my shoulders eventually. My 40s started acting up. Energy, recovery times, backsliding.

So I found different ways to train, different teachers, different ideas, different styles. To start trying to say, Whoa. Well, if I can’t do that kind of kicking, what if I kick this way? Whoa. If that strategy doesn’t work, what if I try this strategy?

So there’s an inevitable backslide, believe it. But through smart training, you can slow it down and try to maintain the highest percentage possible. That’s what this is all about.

When you’re young and you’re a beginner, it’s very exciting because you’re still recovering and you’re learning. And very quickly, your success rate is doubling, doubling in not much time and not much effort. You’re doubling all the time, right?

That first year of training is thrilling because you’re so far ahead of where you were. If you’re six months into whatever kind of training you do, compare yourself to six months ago, that’s incredibly inspiring and exciting.

Take it out two years. You’ve been training two years and you look back to where you were and where you are now, incredibly exciting. But if you were training for 10 years and you look back to eight years, not as exciting. If you’ve been training for 30 years and you look back to where you were at 25 years, not so thrilling.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still thrilled with my little improvements. But looking over on the graph of success rate, not so thrilling. I wouldn’t keep training if I wasn’t getting results. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m very clear headed, very honest with myself about where I stand in the jungle and where the threats are and what I can do about those threats. Threats all around. Did you hear that siren?

So all I’m trying to share today is that you should be just as clear headed as I am. If that means going to test yourself a little bit more and seek out harder training sessions, then do that at least a couple of times. Don’t wait to be surprised by the fact that all of the training you’ve been doing wasn’t exactly gauged for the type of wild animal that I’m talking about.

If you’re only training with rabbits, you won’t believe what you start doing when a tiger jumps out. It ain’t the same. So make sure your training is providing you with honest feedback. If it is, I think if you come back and listen to this episode five years out, ten years out, you’re going to say, Oh yeah, maybe he was right about that.

I hope this all makes sense. I hope it’s not too dire. The martial arts, I still believe, is the greatest path to a happy life ever devised by humankind. I don’t think there is any activity that will pay you back more than the time, money, and energy you spend in the martial arts. Believe that.

But if we’re just talking about self-defense, there is definitely a limit to what you can achieve. As long as you’re clear headed about that and you prepare for that, then I don’t want you to be afraid of the jungle. Please don’t forget, and this is important–

You were born in this jungle. You live in this jungle. You will die in this jungle. You are a force of influence in this jungle just like every other animal. If you’re afraid of being in the dark with another animal, that animal should also be afraid of being in the dark with you.

Never forget your puncher’s chance. Never forget that no animal in the jungle is guaranteed a 100% success rate. You can be successful. You, with a little work and a little effort, can be incredibly successful. Just don’t get crazy and think you can’t be killed or you can’t be hurt, because it is still a jungle, and jungle law rules.

Wow, are you still here? You made it through that terrifying walk through the jungle? Well, good for you. That just means you’re my kind of person. And hey, if you’re my kind of person, you might be interested in a little more detail about how I’ve made my way through the jungle. That’s why I have finally started to shoot some online courses. They’re gonna be available as fast as I can shoot them on my website.

Of course, you’re always welcome to send me an email if you have a question or a problem. And if you ever want to jump on a video lesson or train in person, we could probably set that up, too.

But for now, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #81: The Law of the Jungle and Self-Defense [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #80 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast with special guest, Menamy Mitanes.

You can find a lot of show-offs in the martial arts… Menamy Mitanes is not one of them. But he could be!

Menamy has not only earned black belts in Judo and BJJ, he is a certified instructor in JKD and Systema as well. As the head of Systema Los Angeles, Menamy has been quietly building a following for many years.

I have personally trained with Menamy and can tell you that his knowledge is deep and his wisdom is wide. Join us as we discuss—

For more of Menamy’s wisdom, visit his website: Systema Los Angeles.

You can find links to our videos together below. I think you’ll like them!

To LISTEN to this discussion as a podcast, you can–

To WATCH the video, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the podcast video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

Here are more videos with Menamy.

The post #80: Menamy Mitanes Interview [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #79 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Two Teacher Types.”

There are two major teacher types in the martial arts. Each has pros and cons, depending on what type of student you are!

In this episode, I’ll share my experiences with both teacher types and offer my advice on how to get the most of your training. We’ll discuss—

Whew! That’s quite a list. Let’s get started! 🙂

To LISTEN to “Two Teacher Types,” you can either:

To WATCH the video version, or READ a short summary or full TRANSCRIPT, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page.

I classify teachers into two types: the “touchable” and the “untouchable”.

Untouchable teachers follow an authoritarian model of teaching. They present themselves as having all the answers and do not allow themselves to be seen making mistakes. They typically do not spar or roll with students. In this school culture, respect is expected, as opposed to earned.

A touchable teacher is the complete opposite. They present themselves as works in progress. They sweat alongside their students, making mistakes and admitting shortcomings. In this school culture, respect is earned through interpersonal contact, as opposed to reputation or legend.

While the untouchable teacher can offer security, inspire confidence, and built trust, this model of instruction tends to lose power over time. Flaws are revealed in spite of trying to hide them. Plus, if each generation of student is led to believe that they are less capable than the previous, the value of what is being taught drops rapidly.

The touchable teacher, however, inspires each generation to be better than the last. The touchable teacher find reasons to praise as well as criticize. In this way, the value of what is being taught increases.

Overall, the untouchable teacher can be very effective in improving the lives of students seeking security and clarity in the short-term. But in the long-term, the touchable teacher is better able to offer students the tools they need to succeed independently.

Howdy, good to see you again. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. This is episode #79 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. It’s been a busy month, I’m sure you’re busy too, so let’s get right to it.

Today, I want to talk about the two types of martial arts teachers that you’re going to run into out there. I’ve experienced both of these teacher types, I think I’ve been both of these teacher types. But it’s an important discussion because I think once you identify the two types of teachers, you’ll also identify the two types of students who are attracted to those types of teachers.

Once you have an idea of what kind of student you are, you’ll have a clear idea of why you want that kind of teacher and what you’re getting from that kind of teacher. Maybe you’re not in the right place, maybe you didn’t know there’s another type of teacher out there.

So, this might get a little uncomfortable, but if you’re a normal listener to this show, you’re used to that. So, you’re ready? Let’s get to it.

Okay, so the other day, I put up a clip on Instagram. It was just me in the park and I was spinning a staff. It looked pretty smooth, so I put it up just for fun. But I also put up a little clip right after it of a blooper of me dropping the staff. Flies off camera, almost broke the windshield of my car.

I got a bunch of direct messages from that post. Smiley faces, or, Oh my gosh, did you hurt your head? That kind of thing. And it was a great example, I think, of showing the two types of teachers you run into in the martial arts.

You see some people posting clips where everything they do is perfect. Everything’s effective. They don’t slip. They don’t let go of something by accident.

Then you have the other clips where you see them maybe making mistakes, a type of teacher who let you see behind the curtain. And they’re working out and they’re struggling or they’re in rehab. Letting you know that they’re vulnerable sometimes.

Let’s go a little deeper into this. These two types of teachers. Because like I said, I’ve experienced both.

The first type of teacher I would call the “untouchable teacher”.

This would be the classic authority figure. They set themselves up almost like a god. Or maybe, to be fair, they don’t. Maybe the culture does. Maybe their students do. But they allow it.

So they put themselves in a position where respect in that environment is expected. It’s their name on the door. It’s their school. It’s their lineage. Maybe it’s their style. So you get in line and you say, yes, sir. You just do that. Like in a military setting, you may not know the general, but you salute the general.

The untouchable teacher is usually someone who’s not going to spar with you. They’re not going to roll with you. They’re not going to sweat with you. You’re not going to see them make mistakes. They’re not going to slip and hit their head. They’re not going to say whoops.

They’re not going to tell you if they don’t know something. They’re going to let you believe that they’ve got it all figured out. You’re not going to think that they’re out taking a class on the side learning anything more or that they’re watching videos. They seem like they’ve got it all under control.

So, that’s one type of teacher.

The other type of teacher I would call the “touchable teacher”.

I don’t want to get weird about this, but you know what I mean, it’s martial arts. This type of teacher, even if it is their name on the door and it is their style or their lineage, they make mistakes in front of you. They’re in the trenches with you. They sweat with you.

You can see that they’re still learning and discovering about themselves and about their techniques. They’ll tell you if they don’t know something. They’ll admit if they could do something better or they’ll say something like, Yeah, I’m still working on this or look what I’m working on.

This is a very different kind of teacher than the first one. In that environment, I find even though you may still treat them like a legend, like a god, you may bring that energy to them, but they usually laugh that off or they look down when you talk like that. And in that way, they earn your respect.

It’s not just expected, but you have this personal connection with them where you feel like I really like this person and I respect them. So it’s a little different. It’s not the military model so much or the religious model, if you like. It’s more of an interpersonal model.

Now like I said in the intro, there are pros and cons to both of these approaches…

For instance, it’s easy to bash authority figures, particularly when we’ve seen so many crumble, whether it’s in politics or religion. When you have an idol and then you see some scandal appear, you see their faults, you see their flaws, and then your faith in that system or that religion can be tested.

So it’s easy to jump on that bandwagon and say like, Yeah, all authority figures are garbage, and you shouldn’t put your faith into anybody. But there are some times when it’s appropriate.

So for instance, let’s say you’re working with kids. I work with kids. You don’t want a four-year-old to see you crying necessarily. You don’t want a four-year-old to come to your class and have you say, Yeah, I don’t know what exactly to do with bullies. I got a couple of ideas, but no guarantees, kid. I’m not sure this is always going to work.

With kids, you don’t necessarily want them to experience the chaos of life. They’re born into this chaos. And you’re trying to show them some structure, give them a sense of security, let them know that where they’re sleeping is still going to exist tomorrow, that they’re going to have a meal coming, that they can trust you, that they can come to you, that you’re a safe person to talk to. Children need that type of authority figure just to develop emotionally in a healthy way, I think.

Another context, let’s say you’re in the military and you’re on a mission of some kind. You’re in the battle zone. You don’t want a commander saying, Uh, you know, guys, I’m not sure which way to go here. Let’s roll the dice. Let’s go this way, whatever.

You don’t want to follow that guy. You want someone who’s going to stand and say, All right, men and women, grab your guns. We’re going this way. That’s what we’re doing. This is going to work. Victory is before us.

You say, Okay! Hey, maybe I don’t know what’s going on, but you sure seem to know what’s going on. And now I’m going to give you my best. That’s our best chance.

So I think in those two contexts, I think authority figures are very healthy. I’ll throw in one more. Even if you’re an adult, but you’ve had a chaotic life, maybe you’ve had abusive parents, maybe you didn’t have a lot of money, you’re on the streets for a while, maybe there was a lot of chaos. To find someplace that seems stable and secure and consistent can be very healing to you to build faith back in the world. It’s not all chaos, right?

I don’t want to make it sound like I just believe like it’s all chaos and there’s no meaning. No, I don’t believe that. But if you’ve come from that kind of background, that’s how you were raised. It might be very difficult for you to talk to people and connect with people. It might be very difficult for you to ask for help.

So finding an institution, whether that’s a religious group or a Facebook group or a martial arts channel, whatever that is, if someone can step forward and say, Hey, I’ve been there. Here are some things that have helped me, let me show you the way. That’s not so bad that someone has a guiding hand and can take you a few steps into the world of safety and security.

The question is, how far should you hold on to that hand? At what point do you finally let go and say, Okay, I got it now. Thanks for getting me back on the path. I can take it from here.

I said there’s touchable and untouchable teachers. But sometimes you might run into a teacher who’s confused about what role they’re playing. They may be a younger teacher, but they were raised in a system where they had an authority figure. So now that they’re turning around and starting to teach as a younger teacher, they just expect that they will be treated the way that they treated their authority figure teacher. Does that make sense?

It would be easy if I had an untouchable teacher. I’ve experienced that. I’ve had teachers where I was told, Don’t make eye contact with them. Don’t look at them directly. I had teachers, you just weren’t allowed to touch them. They might demonstrate on a senior student, but you would never go over and say, Could you do that on me?

Just not done. Inappropriate. Disrespectful.

So you might have a teacher raised under that type of culture who thinks, Okay, now it’s my turn. I’m going to start my group and, hey, everyone stand up. Look at me. I know everything. Don’t ask questions. How dare you talk to me in that way? We’re not buddies. I’m your teacher.

But the student’s feeling like, What are you talking about? You’re only like five years older than I am or ten years older than I am. I can see that you’re still working on skills. Yes, I see that you’re better than I am, but you’re not that great. You’re not a legend or anything. I haven’t seen what you do yet in depth. So take it down a notch. Earn my respect a little bit here. You’re not the wise old man on a hill that I’m just going to buy into yet.

So that can be a little conflict when your ego comes up and you just feel like, I’m the man, or the woman, or whatever you say nowadays. I’m the human, I’m the number one dog, whatever.

The big issue here, no matter how you cut this, is security.

I think as a martial arts student, you sign up because on some level you’re insecure about something. And I don’t mean in a bad way. I just mean there’s some doubts in you. Maybe it’s just about your physical fitness. You have some insecurities about the shape you’re in, or your stamina, or your health. You’re not sure if you’re going to live very long. So you’re just looking for some structured fitness activity to keep you healthy.

Okay, it could be a deeper insecurity. It could be that you want a father figure or a mother figure to guide you morally and physically and spiritually, and you’re looking for that sense of order in the chaos. That could be part of what you’re looking for.

It might be just very practical. It could just be self-defense. You just don’t feel particularly safe in your skin. Maybe you were bullied or you fear being bullied or you fear what you read in the papers all the time. So you say, Oh, that’s it. I got to learn how to fight and defend myself, defend my family, defend my friends.

These are all valid reasons to sign up for a martial arts course. The trouble would come if you’re not aware of which insecurities you’re trying to fill and which insecurities your teacher is trying to hide or they’re not even aware of.

So for instance, let’s say you are the type of person who really wants to learn some self-defense and you’re afraid of being attacked physically. So you find a teacher who’s very authoritarian in their teaching style and they say, This is it, this is how you get out of a choke. And you, searching for that security, say, Great, now I know how to get out of a choke.

But the teacher never lets you see how that technique sometimes doesn’t work, or sometimes there’s a different technique that might work better, or how sometimes you just apply principles and create something that’s never been done before, something you’ve never practiced before, but in a particular situation was the exact right thing to do.

An authoritarian style teacher doesn’t allow that room for you to create something on your own. They don’t want that chaos slipping into the system. They have to have all the answers. And therefore, I meet martial artists who talk like that. They say, Oh, I know how to do this, and I know how to do that. Well, I’m not worried because I’m a brown belt and they’re a green belt, so I can beat them.

They make these really, I think, overly confident statements that are a little detached from reality, because reality is more of a fun house. If you go to a fun house, like a haunted house, and you say up front, Hey, when you go in here, there are people loaded up inside these closets and around corners. They’re going to jump out and try to scare you.

Now when you walk into that fun house, you’re still going to get scared, right? You’re going to get scared, even though you know it’s coming, because you don’t know exactly when. But that’s not the same kind of fear you’re going to feel if you go into your real house, where you didn’t buy the ticket, you’re not expecting anyone to jump out of your closet, and then suddenly someone does jump out of your closet.

In some ways, I think the authority figure style teacher, the untouchable, prepares you for the fun house. They’re saying, Okay, well in this context, you’ve got an answer. You’ve got a preparation to deal with this situation. But they’re not giving you the tools to prepare if somebody really jumped out of your closet in your real house. It’s a little different situation.

So anyway, if you’re looking for that kind of security and that kind of order, then of course you’re going to be attracted to the authority style teacher, the untouchable. You’re going to want to believe that what they say is the golden standard, which relieves you of the responsibility for having to think for yourself, experiment for yourself, and do that extra work where you start finding out that there are no guarantees, that everything doesn’t work, that you’re going to still have to scramble sometimes and lose sometimes. You don’t get the delusion of thinking you’re always going to win, that you always have the answer.

So on the positive side, you get confidence. On the con side, it’s a limited confidence. It’s not a complete confidence. In some contexts, it would be a false confidence and that could get you hurt.

Now, on the other hand, let’s say you’re working with a touchable teacher. In that context, if you are someone looking for that security and that golden standard, then you’ll be disappointed with that teacher. You won’t feel satisfied. You’re not getting the answers that you want.

The teacher keeps looking back at you saying, Well, I’m still working on this, so let’s work on this together. And you’re thinking, No, I’m paying you to show me how to do this. And you might resent that kind of a teacher for not being able to step up and say, This is it, I got it all figured out for you. That’s a different kind of teacher.

Depending on what stage of life you’re in, and what level of insecurities you have, you’re going to find yourself attracted to these two different teachers at two different times, I think.

So, what kind of teacher are you with right now? Or what kind of teacher are you at this point? Are you aware of what you’re providing to your students? Do you see the value in letting them see you make mistakes? As a student, do you feel comfortable making mistakes?

All these issues just run into each other very, very quickly, in letting you see the bloopers. I don’t actually care for bloopers artistically, but I like them as a fan. Let me rephrase that. The whole point of art is to create a reality, and you want to believe in that reality.

If I watch Batman and I want to be inspired by Batman. I don’t want to go through that whole emotional journey, feel inspired, like, I can be a hero, I can use my powers for good, and then right after I have that experience, be shown how that’s not really Batman, and none of this is real, and they’re all just laughing, and they’re all just being paid to put on this show. To me, that ruins the whole artistic effect, the whole point of it.

So as a creator, I don’t like that. As a fan, looking for inspiration, I’m not a big fan of that. In that way, I guess I like the authority model in art. Show me something perfect. That’s what inspires me, something to shoot for. Not that I’ll reach it, but it’s something to shoot for.

But in real life, I am a fan of the blooper reel. I think in real life, I want to see what’s going on behind the scenes. How did you get to where you are? If you can do something that I want to do, I can’t possibly buy into the idea that you’re always going to be better than me, and I’ll never be as good as you. That’s another symptom that you run into with the untouchable style of teacher.

In one of the arts that I studied that was in that type of culture, the untouchables, the great grandmaster who is the legend, my teacher would talk about how his teacher was so much better than he was, that he’ll never be as good as his teacher. And then of course the way he presented himself, implied that I’ll never be as good as he was.

So very quickly you would see how the martial arts would get worse and worse and worse every generation, because if every teacher says, I’ll never be as good as my teacher, how long does that take before that entire art fizzles out and no one’s very good at anything anymore? The authority model just completely falls apart psychologically.

How can you have confidence, if you’re never as good as your teacher, nothing you do is good enough, nothing you do is perfect, nothing you do is the end, and your teacher is telling you that he felt the same way about their teacher, and that teacher felt the same about their teacher, and it’s always this yielding of all power to the person ahead of you. I’m not sure if that’s in the long term a very healthy mindset.

The opposite of that, with the touchable teacher, completely different psychological dynamic, right? If you’re the kind of teacher who has the goal to make your students better than you, now your art grows every generation. If my teacher can say that he was better than his teacher, as a compliment, saying, You know what, my teacher made a lot of mistakes and they fixed those mistakes and they passed down their lessons to me. They showed me where they had made errors and they helped me go even farther than they did.

Now of course, with humility, you probably won’t walk around talking about how you’re better than your teacher, but at some point, if you have a really cool teacher, they may say to you, You’ve gone beyond what I do. You may need to go seek another teacher at this point.

You hear stories like that in the historical text. One teacher talking about how they went and studied with this teacher for five years and learned all he could. They went to the next teacher and the Ronin would go around maybe from town to town challenging the teacher. If they were defeated, they would stay with that teacher until they got better, then go to the next town, something like that.

How exciting is that? You’re part of a lineage that’s improving and increasing the standards, improving the standards. So I think that’s the benefit of being a touchable style of teacher. When your students come into the room, they shouldn’t feel like they’ll never be as good as you. They shouldn’t fear making mistakes on the path to becoming better than you. It’s so much more beautiful when it’s the opposite.

They come into that room feeling like they have a chance at not just matching your skills, but taking them another step farther. And then with their students and their children going even farther and you’re the root of that tree, or at least you’re a branch of that tree. To me, I don’t know, I think that’s a healthier mindset to live with and to be part of, and to encourage.

A couple of other benefits of being a touchable style teacher…

Number one, it silences your critics. We all know, no matter what you do, no matter what kind of teacher you are, you’re going to have critics. But if you’re the first person to step up and say, Hey, I’m not that great at this, or Whoops, that was a mistake, or Hey, I can do that better, then you take away the ammo from your enemies or your critics to say, You screwed that up, or you don’t even know what you’re doing, or you don’t even do that well.

If you’re the first person to admit that, they have a lot less to say. It takes the steam out of their engine. That’s not to say you’re critic-proof, there’s always something. But I don’t mind when people say, Hey, Sensei Ando, you got big ears. That’s the best you got? Fantastic. I must be doing my job, because I’m calling out all my other mistakes first.

Another benefit, like I said, you are instilling a belief in your students that they can be better than you. When I was in the schools that had the culture of the untouchable, godlike grandmaster, it was really– I always felt nervous. I always felt insecure, because I knew I was never good enough. No matter what I did, if I was performing a form or sparring, there was always a little sneer, there was always a nope, nope.

Now I’m not talking about being a tough love kind of teacher who’s giving your student honest feedback and leaving room for improvement. But you know what I’m talking about here, right? It’s just this crushing belief system where you’re nothing and the legend is everything and you will never get near that level. That’s a horrible curse to put on your students.

So by being a touchable teacher– spar with your students, make mistakes in front of your students, roll with your students, sweat with your students, laugh with your students– you’re giving them that belief system and the encouragement to keep going because they see that they’re making progress. It’s so much easier to see.

I’ve taught many kids, right? And I’ll say, Okay, everybody, horse stance, and we all drop down. And some kids, I mean, their flexibility and their bone structure, whatever, they drop into that horse stance. And I will immediately say, Whoa, everybody, look over here. That horse stance is better than mine.

Now that is something my untouchable teachers never said and never thought about saying. It would destroy the whole thing. How could a student be better than a teacher at something? But if I see a child drop down to a full split, I’m going to say, Wow, good for you kid. You can do that better than I can.

Or I’ll say all the time, you guys are faster than I am. You guys bounce back faster than I do. You have more energy than I do. What’s wrong with that?

Touchable teachers are very happy calling out shortcomings and mistakes. Touchable teachers are very comfortable calling out positives, attributes, skills, all the things that are going well in the class. To me, that’s a really healthy kind of teacher, a good teacher.

What else? When you’re a touchable kind of teacher, it also gives you the freedom to keep learning and growing.

What’s wrong with telling your students that you’re taking a class on the side? Because, Hey, you know what? I’m not that great at ground fighting, so I signed up for a BJJ class. Why shouldn’t that inspire your students to keep learning as well? They see you learning. You’re the perfect role model. They will do as you do, not as you say, because they respect the process that they see you going through. Give yourself that freedom.

I knew of one teacher who was very charismatic, and the students would willingly try to worship him. They would go the extra mile with the respect and the bowing, and, Oh, you’re the best, and they would want to make him seem as if he was the untouchable. And he would do something kind of coarse, and I didn’t like it at the time, but I understand it better now and I respect it.

If he was starting a class or a seminar, he would trip, or burp. Yeah, belch. And when I eventually talked to him about it, that’s what he basically said. He said it makes him more approachable, it makes him more human, it takes him off the pedestal for a second. By purposely doing something a little sloppy, or just admitting a genuine mistake, or even going out of the way to let someone see, Yeah, I’m not perfect.

I’m not suggesting that you go around belching in front of your students. That was his choice. I don’t follow that one. But I have the freedom to create my own. But that’s just an example. To give yourself the freedom to make the mistakes, and trip, and fall, and have a bad day. That’s a huge relief right off the bat.

The last one I would say, the other big advantage to being a touchable teacher, I think you will receive more from the people around you.

That might sound selfish at first, so give me a second. What I mean is, if you present yourself as having all the answers, as knowing everything, as being completely self-contained, and that you don’t need anything, then no one will offer you anything. It’s as if you’re sitting there with a cake and someone’s got a cupcake– there’s no point in them coming over and saying, Oh, do you want this cupcake?

Nope, I’m good, I got a cake. Keep it. Eventually, they won’t even ask you if you want a cupcake. But what a horrible way to close the door on new opportunities, new lessons for yourself, for someone sharing a story with you that might inspire you again.

I have found, just in general, that when you’re the untouchable, then people will grant you that wish. They will stop touching you. They will stop even reaching out to you, to touch you. Because they just feel it’s a one-way street. You’re the one who’s providing something and they will take. But other than maybe money, paying tuition or your adoration and loyalty or your hard work, they don’t expect anything from you.

Therefore, you don’t even think about giving them something or sharing something. And that’s too bad because if you’re a student, student mind, even as a teacher, don’t you want to be open to those things?

Wouldn’t you like it if someone came to you and said, Hey, I saw this cool technique? Wouldn’t you like it if someone said, Hey, remember when you taught that breathing exercise? I tried it this way and what do you think about this? And how cool if you can say, You know what, I haven’t heard of that. Let me look into it. Let me try.

I just think the value of that for yourself, forget about your students for a minute, but as the teacher, that’s huge. You are back on the path to learning, which only gives you more to teach down the road. So ultimately, you’re giving your students more by allowing yourself to be open enough to receive from them in the first place. It’s a beautiful little cycle.

All right, so I’ve babbled enough. I just wanted to , not so much judge, but classify, identify two types of teachers in the martial arts and perhaps in everything. The ones who want you to believe they’ve got it all figured out– there’s a time and place for that, like I said. I think it’s a nice short-term style of teaching.

I think you can help a lot of people by letting them believe that you are the source, that you have some answers, that you can get them on track, that you can be trusted to take their hand and take them a few steps into a healthier way of living.

But I think in the long-term, you’re going to want to have the freedom to open up that curtain, open the kimono, so to speak. I wish I hadn’t used that phrase. Open the gi. No, keep your gi closed. Keep the kimono closed, okay? Never mind.

I think in the long-term, you’re going to want to be the style of teacher who is touchable, who is approachable, who can sit down after a class with the students. You can towel off and have a drink and just say, Wow, here’s what I learned today, or Here’s what I’m working on. Here’s what I’m going to do differently next time.

I think in the long-term, that will earn you respect. I think in the long-term, that will be a far healthier way to live your life. You’re not going to worry about getting caught making a mistake or saying the wrong thing. Give yourself that freedom.

Bottom line here, before we go, share your wisdom and share your mistakes. Because when you share your mistakes, you’re letting everyone know how you gained the wisdom. They go together.

Show them how you can spin that staff. Show them how you drop the staff. And then show them how you laugh, you pick that staff back up, and you start spinning it all over again. When you have that balance, I believe you’ve got a winning strategy for a happy life.

All right, I hope you’re fired up to get out there and make some big mistakes. Just don’t forget to laugh at them. If you have something to say about today’s show, why don’t you drop by fightforahappylife.com and leave me a comment.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #79: Two Teacher Types in Martial Arts [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #78 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “My First Fight.”

When I was seven years old, my babysitter set me up to fight another kid in the neighborhood. Surprise!

Even though the situation was totally ridiculous, the lessons I learned from that fight have stayed with me to this day. Perhaps most importantly, always ask your babysitter if they have secret dreams of becoming a fight promoter. 🙂

Anyway, if you have a little time, I’d love to share what I learned with you. I’m confident that the lessons I learned that day will help keep your next fight from becoming your last fight!

To LISTEN to “My First Fight,” you can either:

To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page.

Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #78 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Sorry about the voice today. I’m just getting over a head cold, and you know, I scream at kids for a living, so the voice tends to go sometimes.

But today, I’m here to tell you the story of my first fight. Spoiler alert: I was maybe seven or eight years old when this happened, but I still learned a few valuable lessons that I want to share with you today.

…INTRO OMITTED…

Okay, here’s the story. I’m seven years old. I’m playing outside with my brother, JD. We have a babysitter. Her name is Chrissy. She’s an older girl who lives down the street.

Now, at some point during the day, she comes in and she says, Hey Andy– because back then I was Andy. She says, Hey Andy, how’d you like to fight Simon?

Simon is a boy, my age, my size, who lives not just down the street, but down the street and around the corner. Now, back in those days, we always played outside, not like those kids from today in their new fangled machines. We were always playing outside. And we were given boundaries in my family.

My mother said, You could play from that corner to this corner, but you don’t go around the corner, and you certainly don’t go around the block.

Well, Simon– that’s not his real name, because he might still be alive, and I don’t know how this story is going to play out– Simon lived down the street and around the corner. So if we were playing outside, if he chose to come on to the street, which was sometimes, not all the time, then great, we could all get a game of hockey going or whatever, he could play with us. But we never went around the corner to go play with him.

So Simon was a friend, but nowhere near a best friend. That’s who Simon is. So Chrissy says, Hey, how’d you like to go fight Simon? Only it didn’t really come out like that. There was really no wiggle room here. It was more of, Hey, you’re gonna go fight Simon today.

Now how the heck did that come about? Well, because Simon had an older brother. And thinking back, he must have been a tween or early teen. And that guy and all of his friends, a group of dudes — you know trouble’s gonna happen when you have a group of dudes sitting around– the group of dudes decided, Hey, it’d be cool if their kid brother fought somebody.

Chrissy, my babysitter– I guess was trying to impress those guys– she said, Oh, I have someone who can fight. I’ll go grab Andy. And so that’s how this thing apparently came about.

So it’s set that, Hey, in a half an hour, let’s all meet over at Simon’s place, and Simon will fight Andy. Now, already I’m a little nervous, because that would be off of my street, across the boundaries in this guy’s backyard. So I’m already worried that maybe my mother’s gonna be upset if she ever finds out that I got off the street. I’m not worried about the fighting so much. I’m worried about being outside the boundaries.

Anyway, I got a half an hour to prepare for this fight. And I didn’t want to get my shirt ruined, so I went up to my bedroom to put on a different shirt, a shirt I didn’t really care about. Now, keep in mind, I’m not a fighter. I wasn’t a street tough guy, something like that. So this was kind of an unusual territory. Like, we’re gonna fight? I’m not even sure what that means. But I figured, there could be a ripped shirt, there could be some bleeding, I don’t know. So I did go up and change my t-shirt.

Now, while I was in my bedroom, I saw my belt. At the time, I had a belt that had a big Trans Am buckle on it. I think it actually had the words Trans Am. That’s how I know I was about seven or eight years old, because the movie Smokey and the Bandit with Burt Reynolds came out in 1977. And so at that time, the hero car, the black Trans Am, which was the coolest car going at the time, until I saw the Dukes of Hazzard a couple years later, that was the car I dreamed about.

So somehow, I’d gotten this Trans Am belt buckle and the cool thing about the belt buckle was that it was made of metal. So I’m putting on this t-shirt for this fight. I see the belt, and I think, Hey, if I put on this big metal belt buckle under my t-shirt, when Simon goes to punch me in the stomach, he’ll hurt his hand.

Hmm, could I do such a thing? Is this morally correct? I decided it was, since I didn’t even really want to fight. So I wrestled with my conscience briefly, and I put that belt buckle on, put my t-shirt over it, and I left my bedroom.

Now, I tell you, this is an important part of the story. Emotionally, I felt smug wearing that belt buckle. I felt like I had a secret weapon. I felt invincible. I thought, wow, I have a huge advantage here. There’s no way I can lose, because man, I got my Trans Am belt buckle on.

Okay, so I get downstairs, babysitter’s ready, my brother’s with me, that’s my camp, that’s my entourage. We start walking down the street. As I’m walking down the street, no kidding, my head, I can actually, I have the memory of my chin lifting, because I was so confident that I could win this fight as long as I’m wearing that magic belt buckle.

Alright, so we go down the street, and I run into Simon. Not at first– first I run into Simon’s big brother, Ben, that’s his real name, and his cronies. They come out of the house and they’re all laughing. They pile out, they open up the door to present Simon…

Simon steps out wearing full hockey gear, hockey goalie gear. He’s got the mask, he’s got the arm pads, he’s got the leg pads, and my memory says that he even was holding a goalie stick. In that moment, it never occurred to me that this would all get called off, and that wouldn’t be fair, and it was more of a joke. But in that moment, all I could feel was my incredible cockiness dissolve instantly in the face of someone who was far better prepared for what was about to happen.

My secret weapon was worthless. Instantly, it vaporized.

Now, of course, I had a good manager here. Chrissy said, No, no. Come on, guys, you can’t have him wearing hockey pads. That’s not fair. And they all kind of knew that, I guess. So they made him take off all that equipment. Whew! But I’ll never forget that feeling of how my confidence just completely disappeared in the face of a foe who was better prepared than I was.

Okay, so he takes off that gear, and now we head into the backyard. The backyard, no big deal. It’s just patchy grass, a high fence. All of the dudes are on one side, these teen boys with Simon. They’re getting him ready.

I’m over in my corner with my brother and Chrissy. Maybe her sister was there. And I’m back to feeling pretty good about my belt buckle. I’ve got a shot. Until I saw, oh, guess what? They’ve got boxing gloves. They were ready for this. They handed us these old lumpy boxing gloves– I think they were purple– and they tied on gloves.

Now I’m thinking, again, my secret weapon’s not going to be so good. But at least it’s a shield. Maybe it won’t hurt his hand, but at least I have something to hide behind for a gut punch. So not all is lost. I still have a small advantage. All right.

So the fight begins. Here’s what happens…

They kind of bring us together as if it’s a professional fight. They’re enjoying this whole ridiculousness. And they say, OK, let’s fight. Boom, go.

Now, look, I have no fight training at this point. Simon has no fight training at this point, other than the fact that he has an older brother who maybe was kicking his butt a lot. I don’t know. Bottom line is, it looked like a cartoon. It’s one of those clouds and like maybe two cats, so just an occasional claw popping out, maybe a star once in a while, and just bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.

We’re both just pinwheeling our arms wildly, probably half the time, not even looking. And it’s just up and down, high effort pinwheeling. Trying to catch our breath a little bit. Pinwheeling just nonstop. Nobody doing any damage.

I can’t tell you how long that went, but at some point, we were both really tired, and so they gave us a break. So let’s call that round one. So they’re over there, giving their boy a little neck rub and a little pep talk. I’m over my corner doing the same. But really, I can’t hear what anybody’s saying, because all I can feel or not feel are my arms.

My arms, no joke, were as red as this shirt I’m wearing. Just beet red. In fact, maybe that’s where that phrase comes from. It’s not beet red like the vegetable red beets, it’s like beaten red. My arms were just beat, beaten up red. So they were numb. They were feeling like I was carrying two 50-pound dumbbells. My arms were toast. But back into action. Here we go.

We get thrown into round two…

Round two is pretty much the same as round one. We’re both just pinwheeling, pinwheeling, pinwheeling until it happened. One of my hands, bam, hits him right in the nose. And it was one of those kinds of shots where time just stopped. It was obvious immediately that this fight was over.

Hit him in the nose. Started bleeding almost immediately. He stopped, put up his hands. He saw blood. And that’s when he kind of freaked out.

Now, one little thing about Simon I forgot to mention. The only thing that I remember about Simon was that he had an absolutely ridiculous temper. So if he lost the hockey game or whatever, he’s one of those kinds of guys who’d say, I hate everybody. I’m taking my ball and I’m going home.

But when he would throw a tantrum, he would make this sound like he was an alien. Honestly, he pump up himself with his breath and just go WEGHHHH! I would say it was like a wild animal, only I’ve never heard an animal make that kind of a noise. It really was otherworldly.

Now, he never actually got to that enraged state during the fight, which was curious. He had some sham rage. I mean, he was kind of pretending that he was all hyped, but he never got to that crazy pitch that I was expecting. But after he got hit in the nose, that’s when he lost it.

It wasn’t so much from anger. It looked just more like frustration or just fear or sadness, whatever it was. His emotions just boiled over, and he was just bleeding and making this crazy noise. I can’t forget that. That was the most memorable part of this.

So at that point, the boys, his team gathered him up and took him inside, while Chrissy untied my gloves. And that was it. I mean, there was really no closure to this. It was just sort of, Okay, I guess it’s done. And the last image I remember is we were walking out of the backyard along the side of the house, and there was a window…

I looked up in the window, and that’s where their kitchen sink was. And the guys had Simon bent over the sink where he was just bleeding out, I guess. These weren’t doctors, mind you. I bet even today. And he was just bleeding out. And he had a rag, but he was making that noise.

So I remember the muffled sound of this imprisoned alien, just bleeding and screaming. And we had eye contact one last second. It may have been the last time I ever saw that guy. And I just remember walking out, very Zen-like, I really had no feelings about any of this, and just walking out and seeing him completely out of his mind. And that was it. Slow walk home.

I seem to recall maybe Chrissy cut out like a little fake ribbon or made some kind of little trophy thing just to say, good job. So that’s it. That’s the end of the fight.

Well, I got three things I wanted to talk about. Two of them we’ve kind of talked about before in other podcasts. So I’ll be brief. And the third one I think is a little more important. So let’s get to that.

Number one lesson– keep swinging.

So this just goes under that heading of fight till the last punch. Don’t give up. Go down swinging. And we’ve talked about this one before.

The only extra element I would add to that today is this idea of a lucky punch. I’m sure when you hear this story, it sounds like, Okay, we got two wild men swinging these punches around. And hey, I got lucky. My punch hit first. But you know what? Regardless of this story, whatever you think of this story, I’ve never liked that phrase.

When you see two professional fighters going, and you say, Oh, that was a lucky punch there at the end. Or even a lucky throw and a lucky catch to score the big touchdown– it’s a lucky catch. I don’t, I never really liked that phrase because that lucky punch was a punch.

If I got into a fight and I curled up in a ball and lay on the ground and just took a beating, well, there’s no chance of having a lucky punch because I’m not throwing any punches. But if you’re still standing there, and you’re still swinging, whether you know what you’re doing or not, whether you’re terrified or not, if that punch hits, take credit for that.

That wasn’t a lucky punch. You threw the punch. They were throwing punches too. It fell my way. When I fought Simon, it fell my way. I shouldn’t feel like, well, you got lucky. I should feel like, hey, good for you. At least you kept swinging.

Your arms were numb. I didn’t even want to fight this guy. I was getting grazed and hit too. But I didn’t stop. I kept swinging. And when you keep doing something, there’s a chance you’re going to get the results that you want. What’s that phrase?

The harder I work, the luckier I get. So I would put that in your mind all the time. As long as you’re still swinging, you’re doing pretty good.

Lesson number two. This one’s pretty simple, and I think it’s not going to be a big surprise.

Lesson number two– everybody should learn to fight a little.

You hear me say it all the time– even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. In this case, if I had had even a little bit of fight training, how to protect my head, how to throw a little better punch, how to pick my moment or pick my target, that fight could have been over a lot easier. Same for Simon. That could have been a lot shorter that way as well.

It’s crazy to me that children, adults, everyone in the world is not taught how to fight a little bit in the name of self protection, obviously. To me, this is no different than learning the ABCs.

If you can learn the ABCs in school, and you can learn your 1-2-3s, why in the world are you not learning your 1-2-knees?

That’s the most basic self defense you can learn. How to throw a 1-2, how to grab somebody, and just start throwing knees. So, whatever you can do in your community, whether it’s to teach your children, or go take a lesson yourself, or get a program going in your local school, or whatever group you’re part of, you have a book club– hey, why don’t you have one night where your book club meets at a martial arts school, take a class together.

As always, I believe that the vast majority of people in this world are good. But it’s also true that the vast majority of people in this world have no idea how to fight. I mean zero idea. If anything, they’re against all fighting and violence, and they haven’t even given themselves the permission to fight for a good cause. They think it somehow makes them a bad person, just to think about fighting for any reason.

But of course, that’s how the bad guys win, right? The good guys have been duped into believing that all fighting is bad, all violence is bad, and not recognizing that violence is just a tool. And if good people don’t train themselves to stand up for themselves, and yes, sometimes put their hands up, well, then the bad guys will always have an advantage. They’ll have the belt buckle, and we have nothing.

So, lesson number two. Hey, everybody should fight a little bit. Alright, let’s get to the big one.

Lesson number three –step outside your bedroom. Step around the corner.

It’s so easy to delude yourself, to hypnotize yourself into thinking that you’ve got all the answers, that you’re really good at what you do, and that you’re prepared for whatever life throws at you. But that’s usually not the case. Or let me say that another way.

There’s always more to learn, and there’s always room for improvement. There’s always room to make yourself a little stronger, a little tougher, a little braver, and a little wiser. The minute you think that’s not true, you are the guy wearing a belt buckle under your t-shirt thinking you got it all figured out. And then what happens when you run into the guy who’s got the hockey pads on, and they’re not taking them off.

That’s it. You’re done. Your fight’s over.

What do you do when the other guy’s got a bigger belt buckle? We’re constantly in situations where we can be outmatched. And it shouldn’t be that way. If you’re always working, if you’re always learning, if you’re always putting in the extra effort to ask a question or to take a class or to have the humility to start over again and look at what you’re doing from a new perspective, that is the only way you should have any kind of confidence walking around in this world.

When I earned my first black belt, or when people found out, Oh, you’re a black belt, you would presume that that would be my proudest moment, earning that first black belt. And sure, I was proud of myself. But do you know what made me more proud than earning my first black belt? Tying on a white belt after earning the black belt.

I talked in my recent video about my reasons for moving on from Taekwondo. I had a great time in Taekwondo and I learned a lot there. But when I tied on a white belt in a Kung Fu class for the first time, that was something I was much more proud of, because I was out of my bedroom and off of my street. I was around the corner. I was doing something different.

And then, many years later, I started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, about ten years ago now. And that was another situation where by the time I started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I already had three black belts. And my black belt in Kung Fu was a fairly advanced degree, enough so that I could just use that as my certification to teach for the rest of my life. I’m good. I’m done.

But I knew that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu offered something that I needed. There was another dimension to self-defense and just my self-development. There was something there that I wanted. And tying on that white belt at the age of whatever I was ten years ago, so like about 40, to me, that was another proud moment.

I’m not telling you this to say, Oh, aren’t I cool? Aren’t I the best? No. I’m using it just as an example of what everybody should be doing, I think, of you learn something and you keep learning. You keep pushing yourself. You keep coming back to saying, Yeah, I shouldn’t be smug or cocky. I can be proud of what I’ve done, but I should always be open minded to go learn something else.

Then a little over four years ago, I started taking lessons in Systema. You can laugh all you want if you want, but I’m going to laugh right back at you. Because that’s how you keep learning. That’s how you can see what you’ve been doing from a new perspective. That’s how you grow and get a little more real confidence. That fake confidence that you get from sitting in your bedroom, putting on your belt buckle and thinking, I am invincible. If I am ever in a fight today, no one can beat me, because I have my Trans Am belt buckle on. That guy is someone you should worry about.

Going outside to try this and try that and meet this person and try a different training methodology and try a different set of techniques and skills. That person, they have got the right to be a little more confident because they’re earning it.

Especially in the martial arts, I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about. The room for delusion and self-hypnosis is huge. And there’s a reason for that. The reason is, I can’t think of another activity where you’re not actually allowed to practice the activity that you’re training for.

For instance, let’s say you’re going to go take piano lessons. You don’t go sit at the piano and have your teacher say, OK, well, I want you to practice this scale. But don’t touch the keys. Just put your fingers over the keys and make that pattern. But don’t you dare make a noise.

That would be a ridiculous way to learn how to play the piano, right? You could probably actually learn the exact fingering of a very complex piece over time. But you don’t actually know how to play the piano yet, because you haven’t felt the pressure of making noise.

Same with soccer, right? If you go to play soccer, you’re not going to say, OK, well, you guys can dribble or whatever you call that. Move the ball up and around anywhere you want. But when you get to the goal, leave the ball alone. I want you to kick next to the ball and just pretend that you’re kicking.

Makes no sense. But what do we do in martial arts? You can’t really kill people. You can’t do that. How many people have really gouged out an eye or crushed a trachea or broken someone’s back or their neck? Hopefully that’s a small number.

Instead, you have to pull the punch. You have to slow down so that your partner can tap. No matter what style you’re in, no matter how hardcore you think you are, there’s a margin that pulls you back from full reality. There’s always a rule. There’s a ref. There’s some type of guideline to make sure that everyone’s not getting killed or brain damaged all the time.

So martial arts is very strange that way. But once you open up that margin between completely real and how you train, and again, that’s going to be maybe a slim margin for some schools, but then it becomes a bigger margin in other schools until it could be a gigantic margin in a different school.

And that’s where trouble starts, right? That’s where you are just spinning your own wheels, and I just pray that that never leads to being cocky or smug. I know I’ve got examples of what I would call just bad teaching, but bad teaching that came out of that margin between what’s really real and how we train.

For instance, you want examples, right? I was told crescent stepping in traditional martial arts– you bring your feet together, you make that half moon shape as you walk across the floor doing techniques– I was told by a teacher that the reason that you make that crescent step is because in the old days, when you wanted to sneak up on a soldier or an enemy, and they were standing in high grass– I can’t even get these words out– if you wanted to sneak up silently on that guy, you’d have to use your foot to press down the grass so that you wouldn’t make noise.

I was told that this is how the Native Americans used to do it, and that this knowledge had been passed down so you could sneak through the grass and sneak up on your enemy and kill them. Hey, no disrespect intended if that’s what you have been told and that’s what you believe, but I feel that I’ve been out of my bedroom and around the corner enough to know that’s not really why you do that.

I was also told that an X-Block, right– classic formation– I was told that that was for when a guy’s got a gun on you– shotgun, a rifle– and you’re jumping at them and pressing down the barrel of the long gun, of that long barrel, and then of course you continue on to punching and kicking.

What? Right? Is that me? And some of these techniques were developed before there were guns. I can’t even– what?

Of course, I think I mentioned once in a podcast, just because it sticks out of my mind about smugness, a very small-framed, light woman– couldn’t have weighed more than 110– and we were talking about rape scenarios. And she actually smirked when she would talk about the idea of being raped, because her attitude was, If anybody ever tries to rape me, they’re in for a big surprise.

Now look, I’m the last guy to try to take away somebody’s confidence that has been built through skill, practice, and experience, but in my mind, to consider any violent attack with a smirk– I don’t care who you are, what your rank is, or what your training is– to just get to that place in your life where you would imagine a violent attacker surprising you when you’re not expecting it, to try to rape you or murder you or anything, just touch you, rob you, and to think that would ever be easy or simple or a snap or no problem?

That scares the hell out of me that a teacher would ever present material like, Oh yeah, this part’s easy. Or, No problem. I’ve talked about that before, so I won’t belabor it. But please, don’t be one of those people. At least stay humble enough to say, Well, I’ve trained, I’ve prepared the best I can, and then let’s just see what life brings.

Because everybody can be killed, in case no one’s told you. Anybody can be killed. Anyone can be caught off guard. Anyone can be surprised. Anyone can get stabbed, or sucker punched, or outnumbered, or just caught at the wrong time in a bad place. Anybody.

Which is why, if you’re wise, you don’t want trouble with anybody. I don’t want trouble. Because I know, what’s the old saying– when two tigers fight, one gets mauled and one gets killed. There’s no easy way out of a fight.

That’s why you want to prevent fights as much as you can by hanging out with good people, by treating everyone with respect, by being the first one to say sorry, even if it’s not your fault, by trying to use your words, create distance, and escape. That’s always the most sensible thing. Because fighting is ugly business, and as good as you may be, there’s always a chance of getting killed.

Alright, so enough about that.

My advice to you today, the point of telling you about my first fight, and about my belt buckle, was to encourage you to take a class, read a book, ask a question, visit a new school, go to a conference. I don’t care what part of your life we’re talking about.

Martial arts, being a parent, being a spouse, being a friend, your business, whatever it is you do, don’t just say, you got this. Don’t put your chin up and think, Ha, I’ve got this secret weapon. I’m invincible. I can’t do any better. Because there’s always another level. There’s always something or someone out there who can take away what you’ve got. And that’s why we talk about fighting.

Good people shouldn’t be afraid or be unprepared to fight for a good cause, to fight to keep what they have, to fight to protect your family and your friends and what’s good in this world. That’s why we’re here.

My hope for you is that your next fight, because there will be one, whether it’s again in your family or it’s in your business or it’s on the mats, I don’t want your next fight to be your last fight. And the best way to make sure the odds are in your favor is to keep learning. You deserve to invest in yourself as much as possible.

Make that time. Spend that money. You are worth it.

So that is my advice. Get out of your bedroom and get off of your street. That to me is one of the biggest secrets in how to fight for a happy life.

Okay, that’s the show. I hope you’re feeling pumped up enough to tie on your belt, pack a lunch, and head out to start a new adventure. If you like this show, thanks for subscribing to the channel and maybe sharing with a friend. That would mean a lot to me.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #78: My First Fight [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #77 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast with special guest, Paul Read.

If you don’t follow Paul’s work as a Tai Chi instructor, you should! Many people talk about expressing themselves through their martial arts training, but Paul is one of the few who actually does!

I’ve been of a fan of Paul’s from afar for a few years, so it was an honor to finally sit down with the man who calls himself the Teapot Monk.

Join our conversation for insights on—

Whew! That’s a lot! 🙂

NOTE: I apologize in advance for the audio quality of this show. Technology is changing fast and I can’t always keep up! But if you are willing to suffer a little, I think you’ll reap great rewards.

Oh! And don’t forget to download your FREE COPY of Paul’s most popular book through this link—

THE MANUAL OF BEAN CURD BOXING

Thank you, Monk!

You can step even deeper into Paul’s creative world through these links—

PAUL’S WEBSITE

PAUL’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL

PAUL’S INSTAGRAM

Okay, let’s go! To LISTEN to our discussion as a podcast, you can–

To WATCH the video, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link. You can also find one of my favorite of Paul’s videos on The Importance of Preparation in Tai Chi below.

The post #77: Paul Read Interview [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #76 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast with special guest, Chris Hanson.

Chris Hanson is a school teacher, father, lifelong martial artist, founder of Karate Unity… and a really nice guy!

As you’ll hear, Chris is on a mission to bring the martial arts community together by training with as many different stylists as possible. Not surprisingly, he’s already picked up some valuable insights along the way.

In this conversation, I asked Chris to share some tips for students just getting started in Karate. But like most good advice, Chris’s words apply to any student in any art!

Listen in for tips on—

To keep up with Chris, click these links—

KARATE UNITY ON YOUTUBE

KARATE UNITY ON FACEBOOK

KARATE UNITY ON INSTAGRAM

To LISTEN to our discussion as a podcast, you can–

To WATCH the video, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

The post #76: Chris Hanson Interview [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #75 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Talk to Your Body.”

Question—how well do you know your body?

If you’re like me, you probably think some parts are strong and healthy… but you label other parts as weak, stiff, or just plain “bad”.

You gotta stop that!

Whether it’s due to old age or old injuries, if you accept a limitation, you are giving away some of your power. Be careful with that! Because every time you reduce your capabilities, you are willingly taking one step closer to death.

In this episode, I’ll share my history with a couple of injuries that turned out to be both physical and psychological. I’ll also let you know how I restored my confidence and capability to get back on track towards success.

Let me know if you’ve fallen into the same traps that I have. Then let me know how you found your way back to regaining your power!

To LISTEN to “Talk to Your Body,” you can either:

To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

Howdy and welcome to episode #75 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. I’m Ando and listen to me…

If you clicked on this podcast today, you’ve made me very, very happy. You probably noticed, if you look at the number of views on YouTube, and you can just guess about podcasts in general, that these shows get far fewer listens and watches than some of those fancy, flashy videos that I make. But I still love doing the podcast.

The podcast, I think, gives me a chance to go deep into some big ideas that are crucial. Techniques are nice, quick little drills and exercises, that’s fine, but it’s the big guiding principles, the philosophy behind all this stuff that I think will guide you to success.

So, if you’re here today, you clicked on this, and you’re going to hang in here with me, I think that just proves that you’re not only dedicated, but you’re wicked smart.

Okay, so what are you so smart about today? What are we going to talk about? I want to talk about talking to your body.

Now, I’ll tell you right up front, you know me, I’m not a medical doctor, I’m not a physical therapist, so when I share these kinds of tips today, I’m not coming at you as a scientist, or a priest, or a psychic. I’m only coming to you as a human being who’s had some experiences and I’m sharing them with you. So take them for what they’re worth.

Specifically today, I want to talk about some of the injuries I’ve had in the past and how they affected me, not just physically, but psychologically, and how I’ve come to make peace with them so that I don’t find myself getting boxed into a corner and limited. I think there’s a danger in that for all of us.

I think pain can really corner us and take away our power and our ability to make ourselves happy.

Let’s take a big breath and get to it. Question, how well do you know your body? Now, you probably think you know it pretty well, right?

You’re a martial artist, you work out a lot, you push it to the limits, so I’m sure you have a pretty good knowledge base of what you can do and what you can’t do. But at the same time, do you find yourself saying things like, Oh, my back is tight?

Let’s say that’s what you believe. Let’s say you think, Yeah, my whole family’s not very flexible. Or, Yeah, my back’s been tight for a long time now. Yeah, I gotta go get a chiropractor. I gotta go get a massage. I need to warm up for 20 minutes. I just have this tight back.

Well, do you see how that’s a limitation? Right off the bat, before you even started working out and as you walk around in your daily life, if you have this belief in your head that you have a tight back, you’re giving away some of your power.

Or maybe it’s an old injury. Oh, I hurt my shoulder, like I have in the past. And now every time you lift weights or hit a bag or you spar, you always have some of your thoughts linked into that shoulder, like, Oh, be careful, that’s my bad shoulder.

You’ve labeled that part of your body as “bad”. Obviously, that’s also giving away some of your power.

Now, to me, it’s funny because when I was younger, I had two injuries, if you like, before the age of six or seven. I fell out of bed, and I broke my collarbone. Don’t remember it. And I also had my elbow dislocated. Thanks, Aunt Judy.

Now, both of those injuries, actually, I’ve totally forgotten about. I knew I was going to talk about the body today, so I kind of reviewed my own history with myself and said, Oh yeah, that happened. But I don’t even think about those injuries, mostly because I think I was so young that it didn’t occur to me that you would have to hang on to pain like that for the rest of your life. I really didn’t reflect on anything at that age.

It’s also possible, I believed in the authority figures around me. The doctors were taking care of me. I had a mom and a dad. Everything was being paid for. I had slings. I had time. A couple of milkshakes. I seemed to heal up just fine.

So I moved on, I would say, at full power. Never once did I say, Oh, careful of my collarbone or Watch out for that elbow. Never occurred to me.

But all that changes as you get older, I think, if you’re anything like me. As I got older, injuries seemed to linger longer. I didn’t just bounce right back. And let’s flash forward here a little bit…

It’s amazing how you can meet someone who’s 90 years old, who’s spry and lively and they still take yoga. Maybe they’re mountain biking or something. You just think, Wow, look at you go. You just must have good genetics or something like that. Or what, Do you take cod liver oil still, old school?

And it’s easy to just sort of brush that off like, Ah, it’s just a fluke. Because typically, you don’t see that. What you normally see are old people who have given up.

Now hang on, I know degeneration is natural. And of course, we’re all going to lose some powers as we age. But I hope you know what I’m talking about here. I mean the people who are hunched over. You can’t touch them. They need help putting on their pants and getting up. They’re using a cane or a walker, or now they’re in a wheelchair. They really have just given up all of their powers.

And when you back up through their life history, you wonder, Well, where did that start? At what point did you finally just say, I can’t see anymore. I’m done. When did you say, I can’t sit up straight anymore? At what point did you say, that’s it, my knees are done. I’m never going to walk again.

I believe that as we get older, if you allow each of these injuries and effects of aging to linger in your head, and you just accept them, they each become a little blind spot. You give away that little bit of power.

When you’re younger, it may not seem like a big deal. But as you get older, it’s just adding one more step closer to death.

So now, we’ll back up into more of my personal history. I had a couple injuries when I was young. Never thought about them again. When I got into my early 20s, you’ll recall in episode 15, it was called Injuries Are Good For You. And I told you this story about how I separated my shoulder trying to show off for the girl, woman, who would later become my wife. So I did a big forward roll on a racquetball court. I popped my shoulder.

Now at the time, that injury was serious enough that I had to put it into a sling, and it caused me great pain. But it wasn’t so serious that I needed a surgery, just so you know what level of injury we’re talking about.

Now this is very different from when I was younger. I didn’t have health insurance. I only went to the ER. I never saw another doctor or someone to tell me how long these things take to heal or a picture of what this looks like inside. I had very little information. They put some ice and the sling on it. They said, bye-bye, and that was it.

So because of that, I think that’s part of it, the idea that I’d been hurt, the idea that I was weak, just lingered. Now it’s true that I was kind of compulsive and I kept trying to train with that injury. So I would take it out of the sling and I would do some French presses or triceps pushdowns just to keep my arm muscles.

So I wasn’t maybe the perfect patient, but I also wasn’t stupid. I knew that it was trying to heal. But that went on for over a year where I was still nursing this thing, which is crazy. If you know anything about shoulder separations, no, that’s not normal. But I let it linger with me for like a year and I finally kind of, most of the pain had gone away, but it transitioned into becoming my “bad shoulder”.

So now I move ahead a couple of years. I was 25 and I found Kung Fu. And in those early months, every time I’d get my arm jacked up into an armbar or a kind of a Kimura-looking type of lockup, I’d always just say, Hey, watch out, that’s my bad shoulder.

Now keep in mind, I’m still a young man who had no surgery and has been limping around with this mental block for years. And at the Kung Fu club, there was a guy who. I said, I got a bad shoulder. He said, Oh yeah, what happened? And I said, I separated it.

Right away, he came back with, Oh, I separated my shoulder when I played football. I said, Oh, really? And he goes, Yeah, it was a really bad one too. They had to do a surgery on it. But you know, five, six weeks, I was back, I was playing again.

That was like throwing a bucket of cold water in my face. I’m like, What? What are you talking about? I’ve been suffering with this thing for years. And he’s like, No, what are you talking about? It’s not that big a deal. It heals and you get back in the game.

And it made me angry, is what it did. I realized I needed to talk to my body. We needed to sit down and have a little talk. Because that shoulder had been holding me back big time.

So I did. We didn’t share a cup of tea, but in my own way, at the time, I was like, What’s up with you? You should be healed by now. That’s it. No more. You are not hurt anymore. You’re no longer my bad shoulder. I’m done with it.

And very quickly thereafter, as these stories go, my arm felt much, much better. I didn’t think about it that way anymore. And of course, there had been some atrophy and loss of flexibility because I’d been babying it for so long. So in that way, you kind of start buying into the bad shoulder routine, right?

If early on you say, Oh, that’s my bad shoulder, and then you allow it to be the bad shoulder, then it becomes the bad shoulder. You made that happen. But once I broke through that– Okay, shake it off. That’s not your bad shoulder. There’s nothing wrong with your shoulder. Other people are doing stuff with their shoulders that were hurt much worse than yours— then I was on the road to recovery for real.

In very short order, I was back in business. I was strengthening it again. I had fuller flexibility. I could punch. No problem.

All right, so now let’s zip forward a few years. You think I’m done with that issue? Ha, hardly. I think I’ve spoken also in different podcasts about when I tore my labrum in my other shoulder, throwing hook punches. At that time, I ended up falling into the exact same trap. Same deal.

I don’t recall having multiple doctor visits when that injury occurred. I had the initial visit of like, Oh my God, what’s wrong with my shoulder? They did the MRI, whatever they did. Same situation. Gee, it’s torn enough that we should take it seriously. You got to let that heal. But it doesn’t require a surgery, which is supposedly a good thing.

Except in my head, nothing had been fixed. That’s all I could envision. It was still busted. So I fell into that same pattern again. This became my “bad shoulder”.

That went on for over a year. As I recall, maybe around a year and a half mark, someone I worked with, thank you Sensei Dorene, suggested that I check out the physical therapy place right next door and have them take a look at it, because I had been complaining about it. I was referring to it as my bad shoulder. It was holding me back again. It was another blind spot.

I go to the physical therapist and she looks at it. I explain what happened. She says, Okay, well, you know what’s going on here. She goes, This is really psychological. And of course, you don’t want to hear that, right? What are you talking about? No, no. There’s something actually torn in there. I can feel it. It’s wrong. See? And she’s like, No. What’s happening here is that you just don’t trust your shoulder anymore.

That was the first time I had really been hit with that concept. That there was the psychological injury in addition to the physical injury. The physical part had long since healed or at least as well as ever it was going to. But she suggested that psychologically I didn’t trust that shoulder.

In effect, I had stopped talking to it. I had just said, No. Whatever you need, I’m not interested. You’re hurting me. You’re holding me back. I hate you. You’re my bad shoulder. So we’re done. And I gave away that power. I was willing to give it up.

So she just blew my mind with this concept that I just needed to build trust again. My brain literally needed to see me using this shoulder again, so that my brain would say, that’s a good shoulder. There’s nothing wrong with it. So here’s what she did. And I swear, this is exactly how it went down. She gave me one of those rubber tubes– not even a very thick one, probably the first level of strength– and she said–

Okay, go lie down over there and first, without the tube, just make snow angels on the ground. Just lie down and make snow angels. Do that a hundred times. Then take that tube and just stretch it across your chest and open it and stretch it. Do that a hundred times. And then finish with putting one up over your head and then one down to your belt and just alternating raising up and down. All laying on the floor with my spine on one of those foam rollers. So I’m suspended, my scapular can kind of drop a little bit.

So, I’m making these kind of full range motions with my arms. For the snow angels, a hundred of those, I was wincing, I was nervous. I hadn’t done this, ever. So, you know, my face looked like, Oh, this is a struggle, right? I’m talking to myself like, Oh, this is not a good idea. This is making it worse. She’s crazy. What the heck am I doing down here?

But in set number two, you ready? I start with this tube thing going across, opening and crisscrossing, opening and crisscrossing. It’s a little resistance. And somewhere, I swear to you, around 68, rep number 68– as I’m sitting there going, Oh, gosh, this is awful. Poor me. My shoulder is so bad— suddenly, the pain that I usually held in my shoulder just went, it was as if it just melted. It had been frozen and it just gave way. It just let go.

I was stunned because I hadn’t felt that relief in, like I said, probably a year and a half. So I’m lying there and I kept the reps going. You know, I’m thinking that it’s a mind game or I’m on some kind of endorphin high. I don’t know what’s going on. I finish up the third set over the head and I walk out of there feeling like an idiot.

I’m angry because I cannot believe that I was tricked once again into believing that I had something bad in my body, and that it was my fault that it had stayed that way, and that I had given up power all this time by just simply not talking to my arm and saying, Hey, what can you still do? Really, what can we do?

So this, I think, is not unique to me. I’m pretty sure this happens to lots of people because all the time I run into people who tell me about their injuries and their setbacks and their genetic flaws. And when I watch them, I just have that little bit of doubt. I’m like, You don’t look like you’re hurt. You seem to be okay. Or Are you sure?

I’m not talking about clinical injuries where you can see someone’s bone has been snapped in half and they need implants and steel beams put in. Of course, there are legitimate injuries that you need to take care of and respect if they’ve really given you some kind of setback. If you’re missing an eyeball, okay, you’re missing an eyeball. But I’m pretty sure that most of us give away too much. We just give away too much and too easily.

I don’t know what that is. I think there’s something dark in human nature where you almost want an excuse to not have to work as hard. Is that just me? I’m being very honest about that. It’s nice when you can just say, Oh, thank God, I don’t have to practice full splits anymore because you know what? I pulled my hamstring. That was eight years ago. And ever since then, I’m just not that flexible. Therefore, I don’t have to practice high kicks anymore. My stances don’t have to be as deep. I can really take a smoother, safer, lazier path to my next accomplishment.

Come on now. Does that sound familiar at all? I really think we have to fight against that, whatever that is, that characteristic in human nature to almost desire being powerless. We’ve got to train ourselves to challenge our bodies at all times to be giving us back everything we can, all of it.

It’s bad enough that the world out there might be trying to take things from you. Take your money, take your confidence, take your spot in line, take your job, take your life. That’s bad enough. For you to be taking things away from yourself, to be giving them away, when you don’t have to, I almost want to classify that as sinful behavior.

I’m not getting religious either. I’m not a priest. But you know what I mean? It’s like that’s the greatest attack you can face– you attacking you. You sinning against you. You hurting you.

Now, again, if I’m not careful, I still fall into this pattern. I was at a private lesson the other day with Martin Wheeler doing some Systema and he was doing the normal torture session that I’m used to now. And I said, Oh, hang on. That’s my bad toe. Be careful there when you twist that. And he said, You have a bad toe? And I said, Yeah, yeah. It’s been like, I don’t know, 20 years.

Oh, no. There it was again. And he just said, You might want to take another look at that. He knew. And guess what? I started doing some like frog squats. I started sitting in seiza and rolling my feet, which I had avoided for decades– I had hurt it way back. I kicked and jammed it, something like that, but I’ve been holding on to it.

It’s a small injury, I thought. Eh, not that big a deal. That’s just a bad toe. And here I am. That was a couple months ago. Did I say it the other day? I’m getting old. It was a couple months ago. I’ve been working it, just putting it into my workout. And if I’m sitting watching TV, give me five minutes. I’ll just sit in that frog position, kind of bending my toe, and my foot’s so much better now.

It’s not perfect. It still hurts. I’ve got decades of neglect there. But I really feel like it’s thawing. It’s breaking up. It’s somehow becoming stronger and more flexible again.

So, I’m beseeching you, because you’re probably a good person– if you’re listening to me right now, odds are you’re a really good person– and I do not want you to give away your power. Think about, as you get older, how many items are on that list for yourself. Write them down if you have to.

When you work out, what do you hear yourself saying?

How often do you say, Oh, yeah, my neck is stiff. Oh, that’s my bad shoulder. Oh, yeah, my knees are shot. How often do you say that? How many parts of your body have you stopped talking to? How many blind spots do you have where you don’t even look anymore?

Really take a look at that list and understand that if you’ve trained yourself to react to pain and react to limitations in that way– where you just give it up and say, Okay, that’s it. I have a bad knee. I have a bad shoulder— the very process of doing that, that habit is bringing you closer and closer to death. Not necessarily death in your coffin, but you’re the walking dead.

You’ve given up your power. You can’t defend yourself. You can’t fight for your happy life. You’ve just given up. Please don’t do that.

Whatever you have on that list of injuries, old or new or forthcoming, think of it as investments. Imagine you invested your money, all of your money, into 10 different businesses, let’s say. And not one of them has paid you back a dollar. You have a zero return on every one of those investments.

So at this point, you just think, well, I’m a terrible investor. These businesses are all terrible. I would never do this again. I’ve given away my money and I’ve lost it.

But now let’s switch it around. Let’s say you took another look at those companies, and one day you woke up and saw that one of them was giving you back a 2% return on your investment. Another one suddenly started giving you back 8% on your investment. This one surprisingly shot up to a 20% return. This one, 50% return.

If you go down that list and you add up all of these incremental increases for all of the things that were losing you money, I think you find suddenly you’re not just making money, you might even find yourself becoming rich.

Now, the metaphor here I think is pretty clear. You can apply this to all parts of your life. Those relationships that you thought were dead– I don’t talk to my dad anymore, that guy burned me once, this guy I don’t think likes me anymore, whatever– if it’s already dead and you’ve broken off all contact, but there’s some part of you that still sees something valuable in having that relationship, write the email, make the phone call, knock on the door, make the effort to talk to that person again.

If you’ve given up on a business, don’t just say, This business is terrible, the market’s awful, things have changed, I can’t make money here. That means you’re just giving up talking, it’s become a blind spot. You don’t even want to look at it, you don’t want to talk to it, so it’s only going to get worse. It’s just going to atrophy.

Whatever door you shut, now it’s just getting dustier and dustier and darker inside. Instead, knock on that door, open it up, walk in, challenge your belief about that business being dead. See if you can breathe even a little bit of life back into it. Who knows where it’s going to go?

And of course, right back to your body. Take that list of injuries, your old ones, and whatever’s going to happen to you next and let’s train ourselves– me, I’m talking to me here, you understand that. And perhaps you– train yourself that when you get that injury, when you get that diagnosis that scares the hell out of you, that your reaction is not to just say, Oh, well, that’s it. I’m out. I’m done. Can’t do it. Can’t do that anymore.

Instead, say, Okay, well, that’s where I am today. Let me challenge myself to see what I can get out of you tomorrow. Let me see if I can still stretch a little bit farther. Let me see if I can get a little bit stronger, move a little bit faster. Let me see if I can get a little bigger return on my investment.

Again, nobody wins the game of life. We’re all gonna die. Nobody gets out alive. But the condition you get to your coffin in is largely up to you.

So please accept this challenge. Do not accept your limitations the way they seem to be today. Whatever beliefs have brought you to your feeling of power and capability right now may largely be in your head…

You think you’re not funny. You think you’re not smart. You think you can’t start a business. You think you can’t start a new relationship. You can’t move to a new town. You think you can’t kick high anymore. You think you can’t get out from mount. You think you can’t defend someone who’s bigger and stronger than you.

Every one of those beliefs needs to be challenged. Every one of those beliefs needs to be brought out into the light. You need to talk to them, get in their face, and demand more from them. Demand your power back.

And it may be difficult at first. Like I said, there is real atrophy that has taken place during these years or months where you have allowed it to be less than. Where you have allowed it to be something that’s hanging you up. But it doesn’t have to be that way tomorrow. Nope. Just start the conversation. Get to know your body better than ever.

As you get older, you should know it better than ever, right? It’s like an old car. You know, when you get into your old car, if you’ve had one, you know exactly the little futzing you have to do with the radio knobs and what you have to do to get that window down.

My old car, I mean, I know new cars are all so computerized. In the old days, I had to pop the hood and hold open the carburetor and a little paper clip, all kinds of tricks. And if someone drove your car, you’d have to sit them down and go, Okay, look, here’s how you work this car.

You should have the same knowledge about your body. Not just because it’s old and beat up like some jalopy. No, it’s a fine motor car. It’s being babied and nurtured and polished and waxed and tuned up. It’s a fine machine. That is your body.

It’s going to get older, that’s right. But if you go to a car show, you’ll see some cars that are in terrible condition, and some from the same era, they’re in amazing condition. And some, restored condition. So if you can’t get to the coffin line, the finish line, with all of your original parts and all of your original power, then at least get there as a restored version, as close as you can to the original model.

Replace the parts, replace the beliefs, get it all in line so that when you walk in, people go, Wow, look at you. Be the example to everybody else that says, Hey, you don’t have to take that pain into your heart and into your brain and then hold back everything that makes you special.

Alright, so that’s the point today. The more you talk to yourself, the more power you’re going to have to fight for a happy life.

Okay, that’s enough of me talking to your body. Now it’s time for you to go talk to your body. But before you do, would you be so kind as to leave a review for the show, a positive review perhaps, on your favorite player, and maybe share this episode with a friend? That’d be very nice of you.

Until next time, smiles up my friend. Let your smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #75: Talk to Your Body [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #74 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Inspiration and Motivation.”

Do your friends talk about getting into shape? Starting a business? Writing a book?

Tell them to give up!

Don’t worry—you’re still a good person. But you should know that there’s a right time to help and a wrong time to help. In this episode, I’ll tell you the difference.

Really, this advice won’t only help you save time and energy, it may spare you from heartbreak, so let’s get into it!

To LISTEN to “Inspiration and Motivation,” you can either:

To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

All right, welcome to episode #74 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. My name is Ando. I will be your host and your guest in this episode.

And what are we talking about today? Well, seven years ago, that’s when I started my website, one of the first articles I wrote was called, Motivation is a Waste of Time. Now, of course, there weren’t many people looking at my website back then, so most people didn’t hear that advice. But I still believe in it very strongly. So I thought I would come on today and say it right to your face.

If you can hang out a little while, I think this advice might save you some time, some energy, and maybe even spare you some heartache. So let’s get to it.

Let’s talk about motivation. I get emails and comments all the time. I mean daily from people who say something like, I’ve always loved martial arts, but I haven’t practiced in 20 years. Or I’ve always wanted to do martial arts my whole life, but I haven’t signed up for a class and I’m 60.

Or Gee, I really want to lose weight, but it’s really hard to get off the couch. Or Gosh, I’m really tired, so I haven’t been to class lately. Or Gee, I don’t have money. I don’t have enough time. I don’t know where to go. And then they ask me for the advice to tell them what to do, to get them going.

Now, I know this is going to sound harsh. Wait– let me back up to say I have a 7-Day Challenge on my website. 7 days. It only takes about 5 minutes a day. And I even get emails from people who will write me after day 2 or 3 and say, Hey, I started your 7-Day Challenge. I got to day 2 and I just haven’t found the time to keep going. Can you give me some advice?

Now, this is going to sound harsh, perhaps. But I’d hope that you’ll think that it’s actually wise. I tell all of these people the same thing. I always have and I always will. I tell them to give up. I tell them that it’s not my job to give you a reason to change your life for the better.

You really can’t think of a reason to be healthy? You can’t think of a reason to become more empowered? You can’t think of a reason to be a better person in your family’s life, in your friends’ life, in your community’s life?

If you don’t see the value in working out or taking martial arts, if you haven’t found enough inspiration to take you to the next step of being motivated to go get the information you need, I can’t help you.

Does that sound harsh?

Now, this was something I learned the hard way, of course, like most things. When I started martial arts, it changed my life. I was a very excited new student. I was like, Wow, I’m getting a workout. I’m challenged. My character is changing for the better. It’s fun. I just thought it was one-stop shopping for a type-A personality like me. It was just helping me out to be more successful in every part of my life.

So of course, I became an evangelist. I went around to my family, my friends, anybody who would listen to me for a second and say, Hey, you got to take martial arts. Come with me to class or go sign up for a class someplace else, but you got to get into martial arts.

People would say all the typical things. Yeah, I really should. Or, Yeah, maybe next week. Oh yeah, I’ll just save up a little bit of money. Yeah, I’ll see you there.

In the years, those early years, I think I only succeeded in getting two people to class and they only stayed for a couple of months each. But that’s out of, I’m going to say a hundred people more. It was really a big waste of my time and my energy.

Now this is important because as you get older, that time and energy and your enthusiasm is a very privileged resource. This is something that I feel I can only share with the people who deserve it. And I found out early on like, Wow, I’m losing my voice trying to give people pep talks. And of course, I’m talking about more than just martial arts.

I’m sure you are in the same situation all the time, right? You’re a nice person, aren’t you? So you have a friend who says, I really want to write a book. I want to start a business. I want to move to a new town and find a new job.

Great. Whatever it is. And what do you do? Yeah, that’s a great idea. Maybe you buy them a book or you send them some links. You do some research for them. You throw all kinds of information at them, trying to support them and encourage them.

But how many times do your friends or your family who told you that they want to do something, and who you helped, follow through on it? It’s not that common, is it?

And then how do you feel? You’re the one who actually starts to feel resentful, like, Man, I’m trying to help you. Why am I the one who keeps bugging you and nagging you to keep going? I thought you wanted to do this.

And how do you think they feel every time you call them or text them or remind them, Hey, how are you doing on that diet? And you know that they’re not even on that diet anymore. And you think you’re being helpful, but you’re not because they’re not actually trying to do what they say they wanted to do.

It’s a very ugly little cycle there. Someone you love tells you they want to do something. You jump in, both feet, try to help as best you can. They didn’t really want to do that in the first place for whatever reasons. And now they resent you for nagging them all the time, or they feel bad when they’re around you because you keep telling them that you were supposed to do these things that they never did.

And you, on the other hand, are completely frustrated because you keep trying to help them and they don’t want your help. No, they don’t.

So that’s how I learned this, right? Fitness, martial arts, any advice that I’ve ever given, particularly in my late teens or early twenties, was a big waste of time. That’s just the way it is. And I’m pretty sure you would agree that you’ve been in that situation too. Because you’re a nice person trying to be helpful.

Okay, so let’s break this down a little bit more specifically. Because I do believe that you can be inspirational to the people around you. The way you live your life, the way you treat people, your friends and family can see that and say, I really like what you’re doing over there. And then maybe secretly, or they say it, I want to be more like that. I want to participate in whatever it is you’re doing.

Maybe they even ask you a question. What are you doing? Now here we go. Here’s the interesting stage. When you move from inspiration to information, we are now calling them out to see if they’re serious or not, because I can’t motivate them to take action on the information.

All right, let me go through that again. First, people are inspired. Inspiration is cheap. It’s common. Every time I watch someone tap dancing, I think, I want to be a tap dancer. If I see somebody doing an amazing sax solo at some jazz club– all right, I haven’t been in a jazz club in a while. That was a weird one– I want to play saxophone.

Everybody seeing anybody who’s good at something and just thinks, Wow, I want to do that. That’s inspiration.

Inspiration is cheap. What’s very expensive and very uncommon is the motivation that comes after the inspiration to seek out the information that they can execute to actually achieve that goal that they had the idea for.

Are you with me on that? So in my mind, I would hate to ever be thought of as someone who’s motivational because I think that’s not true. On my best day, I would hope that maybe I could be inspirational. I make videos, the way I teach, the way I live.

Maybe someone would look at that and say, well, he seems like a nice guy. He seems sincere. He seems helpful. He seems knowledgeable. Great. Let that be the inspirational part.

If someone takes those first steps to sign up for that martial arts class, or they have a problem achieving the next step in their process, in their plan, and I have information that I can provide, that’s my next duty as a good citizen, as a good person.

If I can inspire you, great. If I can give you information to help you, fantastic. Even if I can help you execute on your plan and execute on that information, great, you know, no problem. However, in no way should you or me ever be fooled into trying to motivate someone to start that plan when you’re not looking. That to me is the test.

Let’s say, okay, I have this podcast. So some people I run into say, Oh, I want to do a podcast. Now, I fall into this trap all the time, even though I should listen to my own advice. I say, Okay, you want to do a podcast? Great. And I’ll start writing down some ideas. I’ll give them the links to the servers and how to set this stuff up. I try to encourage them. I inspire them. You can do it. Here’s my recommendations. Here’s my advice. Here’s what I’ve learned.

And then I catch myself. 20 minutes, 25 minutes later, I catch myself out of breath, sweating, excited. And I realize, Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses here. They haven’t actually proven that they want to do this at all. They’ve just very cheaply said, Yeah, I want to do a podcast.

Okay, what I should do when someone says that to me, even if I love them, especially since I love them– Yeah, I really want to do a podcast— that’s awesome. I think that’s a great idea. You should do a podcast. I want to think about that. Great.

And that’s it. I’m supportive of the idea. I say that’s a great idea. You could do that. Go for it. What do you have to lose? But that’s it.

If the next day they text me, Hey, how do I start the podcast? Now I have some clue that they’re serious. They were motivated to ask me again about the podcasting. Or if they write to me and say, Hey, I just bought this course on podcasting and I ordered a mic on Amazon, can you help me figure this out? What’s the technical side of this? Now I’m all in.

They, on their own, took that first or second step to actually make what they thought of happen. Now you got me. I will give you 100%. I will jump to your aid. I will give you anything I got because I have found that most people don’t follow up on what they say they’re going to do. so when I do see someone who follows up, then I know my time, my energy, my enthusiasm is not being wasted. Now I can be as giving and as generous as I possibly can.

And I would recommend that you do the same. When someone tells you they want to write a book, lose weight, go to the gym, join a martial arts class, travel, say, Great, I would love that. That sounds like a wonderful idea. Then let it go. It may never come back. It’s likely that idea will never come up again. But if it does come up again, then you know, Okay, I’m ready to help you. And you will because you’re a nice person.

Now does that still sound harsh the way I’ve explained that? I don’t think so, right? Let me give you a quick example.

I knew a guy named Trevor. Trevor was a talented martial artist. And about 10 years ago– 10, 11 years ago– I was getting involved in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And Trevor was already into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Fantastic. So on his own, he called together some guys that he trusted that would be good training partners.

On his own, he found a facility where we didn’t have to pay any rent or anything. It was a cage in a gym, he said, let’s meet there. On his own, he put time aside and sent out the text invites to say, Hey, everybody come down. We’re going to do some BJJ together. On his own, he prepared lesson plans, so when we would get there, he would share, Here, today, we’re going to go over this choke and this escape, and we would have a lesson plan. Then he would roll with us and coach all for free, just giving it.

After one of those sessions, we were just talking about the day, and I said, you know, This class is going great. Thanks so much. It’s very generous of you. And he said, Yeah, yeah, I got a little more work to do. One of the guys wants me to write up some notes about what we covered today so he doesn’t forget it.

Aha. Do you see a problem here? I said, Hey, man, you’re already– you found the place, you formed the group, you’re already teaching, you’re already giving us everything you’ve got. And now this SOB is so lazy and so unmotivated, he wants you to also take his notes for him and provide them to him?

I encouraged him, I said, Please don’t do that. What are you, crazy? We’re already so in the hole and in debt to you, I can’t imagine you then sitting home trying to spoon feed everybody and hold their hand and bring them along. That’s going beyond what a teacher should be doing, all right?

So this advice works two ways, and I want you to think about that. This works two ways.

On the one hand, there is you as the helper, you as the teacher. When your friends, your family, or someone comes to you and they say, Hey, I want to do this, be stingy, all right? That sounds harsh, but remember what we’re talking about here. Be stingy about the motivation side of things.

Let them prove to you a little bit that they’re serious about achieving that goal. Once they do, then jump in, but if they don’t, stop. That’s for you. Save your time, save your energy, save your disappointment and your heartbreak. It’s just not worth it. Don’t ruin that relationship by becoming a nag or making them feel like, oh, you didn’t do what you said you were going to do and now they feel like a loser. No good.

The second part of this is to apply the same rule to yourself. Now, this one might get a little painful, so hang in here. I’ll bet you say you want to do a lot of things too. How often do you follow up on what you’re talking about?

Let’s say you’re the person who says, Oh, I really want to tap dance. It’s on my head right now because I’ve always wanted to tap dance. But at some point, have you ever looked up a class in your area? Have you ever asked someone who knows how to tap dance to show you something? Have you ever sat outside a dance school and said, Maybe tonight’s the night?

Have you ever looked up an instructional video on YouTube? Have you purchased tap shoes? Have you bought a book about it? Have you done anything? Let’s say you’ve been talking about tap dancing five years, ten years, twenty, thirty years. My friend, you’re never going to tap dance. Stop talking about tap dancing.

Now, that might sound harsh too. I’m no dream squasher. I’m not saying, Yeah, it’s too late for your dream of being a tap dancer, or a singer, or starting a business, or finding a new job, or losing weight. Of course, it’s not too late. You can start.

However, may I submit to you, exhibit A, the evidence of decades of neglect towards that dream. You haven’t done it by now. The odds are you’re not going to do it later. So spare yourself the heartache of disappointing yourself. This is not a waste.

Listen very carefully– you’re not giving up, you’re giving more.

I’m going to say that again. That came out nicely. You’re not giving up on your dreams. You’re giving more of your time, attention, and energy to the activities that you’re actually pursuing.

Let’s say you’re always thinking, Oh, I should tap dance. Oh, I should do this or that. But you never do. And you feel like a loser because you never do. When at the same time, there are things that you’re doing in your life. I can’t tell you what those are. But there are other things that you never have to be talked into. You just do automatically. You enjoy them.

Maybe you haven’t looked at them in that way where you say, this is actually something I love doing. It could be anything, of course. But once you give up all of that attention on chasing these ideas around and these things that you thought you’re so inspired to do, once you give those up, you can give more to the things you’re actually doing, right?

So again, this works two ways. The more that you give up helping your friends who are not helping themselves, the more you can give to the friends who are actually doing something. That’s a better use of your time. And I’m telling you, as you get older, this is the ultimate game.

How are you spending your time? How are you spending your energy and your resources? You want to be a smart investor. You want to give your advice and give your time and give your care and love to the people who can use it. It’s not that I’m being mean to the people who aren’t using it, it’s just doing something to protect yourself.

Plus, they should be more honest with themselves and be directed back to the things that they’re actually doing. When your friend says, I got this great idea, I want to start a rock band. You say, Great. Let me know when you sign up for music lessons. And they never do.Yeah, I really still want to start that rock band.

You know what, friend? Let me be honest with you. You’re probably not going to start that rock band because you haven’t done it by now. You’ve been talking about it for three years. So how about you go back to that crocheting? You seem to like that. You seem to like shooting guns. I don’t know. You seem to like baking cakes. Why don’t you go do more of that?

Eventually they’ll thank you because they will get farther along on that path than staring down these dead ends. They don’t go anywhere. And then apply the same to yourself. Starve those ideas that are sucking away your passion and your time and your enthusiasm and just redirect it back on, double down on the things that you’re actually doing. And don’t feel bad.

If you write me an email that says, Yeah, I’ve wanted to do martial arts for 20 years. I just still can’t get started. What advice can you give me? I’m already going to tell you right up front, stop talking about martial arts. You would have done it by now if you really wanted to do it. That’s what people who really want to do things, that’s what they do. They just do them.

Have I mentioned my watch yet? Did I mention this yet? Wearing a watch today. You see this watch? You see this watch? This watch cost more than my first car. Little GlenGarry reference for you people out there. Seriously, though, this watch did cost more than my first car.

My first car, I think, was about $750, $800. A lovely Buick station wagon. This watch listed over $800. So it was a gift. I didn’t buy that for myself. But let me tell you something about this watch. It’s a Movado.

Now are you familiar with the Movado brand? I’m a big fan because it’s a very simple dial. No numbers on it. Just a black face. I’ll put a little close up in here for you if you’re watching. But here’s why I love the Movado brand– and I’m not trying to get a free watch here, although if you happen to want to send me one, I’ll gladly accept.

The word Movado means always in motion. That to me is the link to motivation. Motivation comes from the word motive. Motive means like you’re moving. There’s motion in your life.

So the Movado, when I wear this watch, reminds me stay in motion. Always moving. Not just thinking about things. Oh, I’m inspired to do this. I’m inspired to do that. I got stars in my eyes. Great. Now, I need to find that motivation. Stay in motion on that idea to get the information I need so that I can then execute and actually achieve it.

Another cool thing about this watch, I’m sorry to obsess about the watch, but there’s another something cool symbolic about this watch aside from the name. It’s also self-winding. I didn’t even know that existed, so forgive me if this is old hat for you.

The watch doesn’t have any batteries in it, okay? Every time I move my wrist, the mechanisms inside keep the works wound up. So as long as I keep moving, the watch keeps moving. So think about this watch the way I do. Like this is your dream. This is your passion. This is what you’re always talking about doing.

If I stay in motion, this dream keeps working. It stays alive. If I stop moving, if I’m not motivated to keep executing on that dream, the watch dies. It stops moving.

Whoa. How’s that? So movado, always in motion. That’s one good reminder. Keep moving so it actually keeps ticking. That’s my second motivation. I just thought I’d throw that in there because how cool is that, right?

All right. Let’s wrap this up. I’ll bet you’re familiar with the old saying, You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. That’s 100% wrong. You can absolutely make a horse drink. For instance, you might leave him in the barn for three weeks with no water or food. I’m pretty sure when you open that barn door and you lead the horse out to the trough, he’ll drink just fine.

You could also take that horse, just grab him by the hair, shove his head into the water and start beating him until he drinks that water. You could absolutely make that horse drink. However, there’s a good chance you’re going to get hurt in the process. That’s what I want you to think about.

Can you make your friends, nag your friends to follow up on their dreams, to go after their goals? Maybe you can. Maybe you can just harass them so much with links and seminars and taking them by the hand and trying to run them through whatever obstacles they need to get through to get to their dreams. But there’s a good chance you’re going to get hurt in the process because they’re going to be dragging their feet. They’ll be sabotaging and fighting you the whole way.

The question is, if they don’t want to drink, why are you forcing them? Why are you trying to make this horse drink? If he doesn’t want the water, he doesn’t want the water. Okay.

Again, you’re not being harsh. You’re not being mean. You’re being careful. You’re being careful to protect your heart, to use your resources wisely, and to spend your time and energy on the people who deserve it. And you’re going to do the same thing with yourself.

You’re not going to beat yourself up every time you let go of a dream. That doesn’t make you a loser. It makes you smarter. It makes you more powerful now that you’re turning all of your time and attention on the couple of things that you actually like doing, the things you’re actually good at.

If you can find a way to manage your time, your energy, your enthusiasm, your love, so that it’s never wasted, but only invested in the people and the projects that are actually moving forward, then you, my friend, have stumbled into a way to live a happier, healthier, more successful life.

Okay, and that’s the show. Thanks so much for being here and hanging out a while. If you enjoyed this episode, I hope you’ll share it with a friend, or how about leaving a comment or review on whatever platform you’re on.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #74: Inspiration and Motivation [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #73 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Punches in Bunches.”

In business, relationships, and on the mats, the biggest winners I know are also the biggest losers!

That’s because the secret to success isn’t always WHAT you do, but how often you do it. But the more you do something, the more often you’re going to FAIL.

So, in this episode, let’s take a look at what it means to be a “good loser” and get ready to chase down our dreams until we hear the final bell.

To LISTEN to “Punches in Bunches,” you can either:

To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below.

SPECIAL THANKS: In today’s show, I mention Larry Kaye, P.I. and his book, How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest. You can visit Larry’s YouTube channel WITH THIS YOUTUBE LINK and order a copy of his book WITH THIS AMAZON LINK.

If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

Welcome to episode #73 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Ando here, and if you’re watching today’s show on video, you’ll see my summer vacation beard. If you’re only listening to the podcast today on audio, well, you’ll just have to imagine evil Ando.

All right, I’ve got a quick shout out to make before we hit the main topic, and that shout out goes to Mr. Larry Kaye. Now, you might remember a couple of episodes ago, I told you the story about how my wife and I made a citizen’s arrest. We didn’t really know what we were doing, we just thought it was the right thing to do.

Well, Larry Kaye is a private investigator. He actually has his own YouTube channel where he trains people to become private investigators. Anyway, he sent me a copy of this book. It’s his book, How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest.

Now, I’m not a lawyer, so I can’t tell you if the information in this book will apply directly to your township. But I do know that the questions in here were things I hadn’t thought about. And a lot of the tales from the streets and the information that he provides definitely makes me feel more prepared the next time a situation like that comes up.

So, to return the favor, I thought I’d give Mr. Larry Kaye a shout out here on the podcast. I will put the link below, not only to his YouTube channel, but to the Amazon page where you can buy this book, How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest. Thank you again, Mr. Kaye.

Okay, on to the bigger topic today…

Punches in Bunches. You might have noticed that my YouTube channel recently crossed the 200,000 subscriber mark. Blows my mind. Now, I had just made a video not that long ago celebrating 100,000 subscribers. YouTube had sent the plaque, and that was the appropriate time, I thought, to say thank you to all of you for your support of what I’m doing here.

So if you go back and you watch that video, everything I said in there, let me just say it again, double thank you. If you’ve ever shared a video or left a comment or just given me some constructive criticism, even a thumbs down, I appreciate it. You are the reason I’m sitting here and still doing this. I’m very thankful for meeting you.

Now, something funny happens when you get to 200,000 subscribers though. The more momentum I’ve gained on YouTube, the more I will get emails or conversations in person with people who have their own YouTube channel or they’re starting a blog. And they want to know what’s the secret.

How did you get to 100,000 subscribers? How did you get to 200,000? I even had one person suggest that I had slept with someone at YouTube. Now, I’m not saying I’m above that kind of thing. I guess it depends on the person. But for the record, I have slept with no one at YouTube.

As a matter of fact, when it comes to YouTube, I have to be honest. My success so far has greatly just been to luck. I don’t control the YouTube algorithm. I don’t even know what it is. Why one video gets picked up and promoted over another, I have no idea. So I can’t speak to that. But I can speak to what I have controlled and what I have contributed and try to go into detail about that. And there’s a bigger lesson here about martial arts that I’ll get to right after.

What I wanted to do is I wrote down some numbers here, tallied up a few things. Because the bottom line here, when we’re talking about Punches in Bunches, is that success is a numbers game.

All right? I’m just gonna say that. Success is a numbers game. And specifically, here are some numbers I thought I’d share. All right, first up, I started making videos four and a half years ago. I started the website a couple years before that.

I didn’t believe, as you probably already know, that the videos would work. I didn’t think anyone was interested. But after a couple years of failing big time, I realized, all right, let’s just make a video before I shut it all down.

So four and a half years ago, that’s when I put up my first video. Within that four and a half years, I now have, as we said, 201,000 subscribers. Thank you. That means I have a total of 14 million views.

All right, so 200,000 subscribers, 1,400,000 subscribers, 14 million views. Now, how many videos have I made? Good question. I didn’t even know. Turns out I have 112 videos. That’s how many videos are hosted on this channel.

Now here’s where it gets interesting. Hey, big shot, Mr. 200,000 subscribers, how many of those videos would you say were a big hit? And for me, I’m gonna say a big hit means a million views or more– five.

Okay, out of 112 videos, five of them, one’s just about to, so I’m gonna count that one, five of those videos have hit a million or more views. I’m not a math guy, which is why I had to do this ahead of time, but that’s less, technically, than 5% of the videos that I’ve made.

So just because I have 200,000 subscribers doesn’t mean every video I put up gets 200,000 views. Every video seems to live or die on its own. All right, moving on.

So if a big hit is a million views, let’s call a regular hit, just a hit, 100,000 views. So how many videos have cleared 100,000 or more views? Well, out of the 112 videos that I have, 24. So that’s less, technically, than 25% have crossed the six-figure line.

That means, if my math is right, a little more than 75% of my videos are not hits. 75%. Let’s go to the other end of the spectrum now.

33 videos have not broken 10,000 views. That’s basically a third of the videos have not cleared 10,000 views compared to a million. And yes, 14 of those have not even cleared 5,000 views. That’s a pretty stark contrast to five videos at a million plus and 33 under 10,000.

Now, of course, as the parent of these videos, each one’s my baby, I put as much love and care into each one of these as the others. So to see a couple succeed and so many just kind of lay stagnant and a couple just die is really a slap in the face. But again, it proves my point, that success is a numbers game.

And by the way, this isn’t just me and I’m not whining, because like I said, I’m blessed to have a platform where anybody’s listening to me. If I had two subscribers, I’d be thrilled because that would be my mother plus one. So I’m not complaining.

As a matter of fact, I know that the same rules of the numbers game applies to all the bigger players in the martial arts realm– Shane Fazen over at Fight Tips, Jake Mace, Nick Drossos, Stephan Kesting. Of course, if you follow this channel, know that I’ve collaborated with three out of the four of those gentlemen. I’ve never met Mr. Mace in person, maybe some day, but they’re all playing by the same rules, whether they have a million subscribers or two million subscribers.

When you look at their videos, many of them are just like me. They’re just floundering or they don’t get that many views. There’s not that much interest in all of them. So we’re all playing by the same rules on that end.

This numbers game, of course, applies to everything in life. I’m just using this YouTube example because you’re probably watching this on YouTube or you’ve seen one of my videos.

Say baseball. If you’re hitting 30% of the time, that’s 3 times out of 10 at bats, you’re like an all-star. If you can hit 4 out of 10 times, 40%, you’re on the path to legendary status.

It’s the same if you’re an entrepreneur. It’s nice to see the guys with the jets and the boats and champagne flowing, and you think that everything they touch is gold. But in most cases, entrepreneurs maybe invest in 10 businesses, 20 or more businesses before one of them takes off. It just happens that the one that takes off pays for, makes up for all the losses that they felt or went through on all the other businesses that failed. But again, it was success in the numbers, punches in bunches.

The same is true for diet or exercise. If you’re watching what you eat and you exercise one day a week and the other six days you just let it all go to hell, well, the numbers are against you there. What you do most of the time is going to have the greatest effect on your health and your life.

So it’s across the board. We should all have this deeply ingrained in our heads by now. That success is a numbers game. The more you try, the more you’ll end up succeeding. But it’s also true you have to be able to stomach the failures that lead to that success.

So let’s bring this back to a little more specifically to martial arts. Let’s talk about sparring, for example. I would say as I’ve watched my own progress as a martial artist and as I’ve watched many students progress, one of the biggest hang ups is that fear of failure.

You see people who just hang back, they throw one punch, they hang back, throw a kick, they hang back. I don’t know what they’re waiting for. We’re training for self-defense here, people. Get in, get that guy, dominate, take over. I coach all of my students to go in there and just keep throwing punches in bunches.

It’s a numbers game. You can’t just hang back and say, Well, I’m trying to get their timing. Well, I’m trying to get a rhythm going.

I get it. If you’re into sports, that’s a valid strategy, okay. But for self-defense, no. You pick your moment, it’s all in, it’s all you, all of the time. The other person doesn’t get a turn.

Do you get punched sometimes when you do that? Well, of course you do. You know, take a look at the logo here, right? Fight for a Happy Life. I’ve got a smiley face there, black and white for yin and yang. But he’s got a black eye. He’s smiling, but he’s got a black eye. Here are some opposites.

To my way of thinking, there are two types of black eyes you’re going to get in life. There’s the black eye or the pain or the shame of not doing anything. That would be you regretting not trying to do anything.

You had goals, you had ideas, you had dreams, but you never followed through on any of them. At some point, you will wear that like a black eye. Maybe people don’t see it. Maybe they do in your attitude, in your posture, in your health, in your levels of success. In that way, it’s a big black eye. But just for you, the way you feel about yourself, every time you look in that mirror, you’re going to see that black eye that you didn’t ask out that person that you really loved.

You didn’t start the business. You didn’t follow through on the big idea that you had. You gave up on one goal after another. And now there you are, 80 years old, and you’re thinking it’s too late. Maybe it’s not. Nowadays, maybe it’s not. But it would be a darn shame for you to end up getting older and older with one black eye on your face after another because you took a beating from yourself, from your own fear of failure.

The other type of black eye, of course, would be the black eye that you get from getting in there, from fighting. You throw a punch, maybe it hit, maybe it didn’t. You caught a punch in the process. You catch a beating once in a while. That’s part of the process. That’s how you learn. All of those failures lead you to success.

So my question to you is what kind of black eye do you want? Because you’re going to get one. I need to know that you understand that life is cruel. Life is going to punch you in the face. The only question is how did you get it?

Did you get broken down and beaten up by yourself because you didn’t do anything? Or because you were in the game trying your best and hey, sometimes you just fell on your face and you got a black eye?

I pray that you’re fighting for a happy life, not just hoping for a happy life. Any black eye that you get while fighting for your dreams and fighting to improve yourself, my friend, that’s a badge of honor. I would rather see you with a black eye from trying something than a black belt. That’s more important to me. So, get your bruises.

Anyway, so specific to sparring, get in there. Punches in Bunches. There are only two strategies, either attack or counterattack. Either way, when you hit the green light, boom! All you, all the time.

It’s funny that when you’re a kid, you get this idea in your head of being a good sport or a bad loser. I think part of growing up is understanding that the losing is never losing as long as you learn. That saying has been around pretty popularly a bunch lately, so you’ve probably heard that by now. You’re not really losing if you’re learning.

It’s only a bad loser who holds on to the shame or the embarrassment of this perceived setback. The people who don’t learn from the loss, the people who think that failing is the opposite of succeeding.

Maturity means that you see failing as a step towards succeeding. You just learned something. You learned something that the person who’s sitting at home doing nothing doesn’t know. Every time you fall on your face after trying something, you’re going to get up smarter and tougher.

It’s funny how you hear about people who win the lottery, for instance, and what always happens, right? You always hear these tragic stories. Why is that? There’s a big idea here that I didn’t want to get to until later, but I might as well jump into it now. Let’s get honest with yourself.

Are you ready for success?

One of the reasons that you may not be successful right now, even if you are throwing punches, is you’re not ready for it. I know for myself, when I start a project, of course you hope it’s going to take off and be a big hit right away. But that’s kind of immature thinking. The reason is, the more you learn as you go, the better you can manage success if it comes to you.

If you’ve been poor your whole life and you suddenly win the lottery, you have no idea who you are anymore. Your character may be very different. You don’t know how to manage this type of lifestyle versus the type of person who maybe slowly accrues wealth.

Every step of the way, you learn how to be proud of yourself or how to deal with a new self-image, how to manage that money, how to deal with people who now are looking at you a little differently. You mature in the process to handle success.

So whatever project that you’re working on, whatever game you’re playing, whether it’s in martial arts or in business or relationships, give it time. You have to be patient. Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have to, but there’s a good chance you’re going to crash and burn if you’re not.

Martial arts is cool that way. Imagine if, like in The Matrix, you could just get plugged into a machine or take a pill and suddenly, I know Kung Fu. All right, but could you handle Kung Fu? If you suddenly had all the power that you dream about having when you start martial arts, could you handle it?

What would you do with it? What decisions would you make? How would you treat people? Would it go to your head? Would you be arrogant? Would you be egotistical? Would you hurt the wrong people?

There’s something beautiful about the learning process that sort of weeds out bad characteristics for the most part. There’s always some bad guys out there. But I know that every step of the way that I’ve tried to do anything, I’ve only gotten smarter. And in many cases, you figure out, I don’t even want this thing that I’m going after.

How many times have you started a goal and said, Oh, I know what I want to be. Like, let’s say for me, I moved out to Hollywood and I said, Oh yeah, I want to be in showbiz. But the more that I saw what that lifestyle really was, the more I said, You know, that’s not exactly what I wanted.

How could you know in the beginning? When someone says, Oh, I want to I want to be a billionaire. Well, do you really know what that lifestyle is like? No, you don’t. So you know, be careful with that.

Oh, I want to be famous. I want to be famous on Instagram. Do you? Do you want to be recognized everywhere you go? Do you want to deal with stalkers or all kinds of inappropriate messages in your inbox or mean comments? There are consequences to every decision you make. And all I’m saying is, if you allow yourself to try things and fail, if you allow yourself to be patient and take things one step at a time, I think you not only get a better sense of what you really want, if you get what you want, you’ll be better prepared to deal with it, to manage it.

I know for myself, I wish my website was not named senseiando.com. That was a mistake in my opinion. I’ve learned from it since. I would much rather have my website now be called Happy Life Martial Arts. That’s something I learned as I went along.

In the beginning, I didn’t really know who I was talking to. I didn’t know who was listening. I didn’t know who would write me. I didn’t know what I actually wanted to talk about all the time. I didn’t know where I wanted to take this whole project. But now I’ve had several years to kind of grow with it and change things as I go.

I just wish I had the technical know-how to figure out how to switch domain names so I could get rid of senseiando.com and switch it over to fightforahappylife.com or happylifemartialarts.com. I’m not that technical. I’m still looking into it.

Anyway, the point today is simply this. Whether you want to start a YouTube channel and be a big hit, whether you want to improve your relationships, whether you want to start a business and make money that way or just do something you love full time, whether you just want to lose weight and be healthy, whether you want a black belt, whether you just want to be able to defend yourself with a higher and higher level of skill, it all comes down to the same secret– punches in bunches.

It’s all about getting out there, trying, failing, celebrating the failure, not looking at failure as some setback or something to be embarrassed about. You should only be embarrassed if you didn’t try. Never be ashamed of telling someone you made a mistake or you went the wrong way. That’s the most beautiful thing ever, especially if you own that mistake. Especially if you can explain, Well, here’s what I was thinking and here’s what I learned.

That is the gold, my friend. Don’t cheat yourself of that experience of finding the gold in your life. You create the gold every time you try to do something.

Alright, so that’s the big message that I wanted to share today. I really hope that you will take a look at whatever it is you’re doing and be more patient with yourself. Be more forgiving of yourself. Look at your black eyes with pride.

If you want to be a winner, you have to be a loser. If you want to be a champion of whatever game you’re playing, you have to be a champion of losing first.

Whatever your goal is, whatever your dream is, just keep swinging till the final bell, my friend. Punches in bunches.

All right, well, that’s enough from me. Thank you again for supporting this podcast or subscribing on YouTube or visiting my website. As long as you are there, I will be here.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #73: Punches in Bunches [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #72 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Are You Ready to Fight?”

No, seriously… are you?

If some maniac suddenly jumped on you RIGHT NOW, are you prepared to fight back?

Are your muscles tight? Will your clothes hold you back? Can you flip your mindset from calm to aggressive in a blink?

In this episode, let’s examine the gap between your life on the mats and your life off the mats. Hopefully, they’re not too far apart!

To LISTEN to “Ready to Fight,” you can either:

To WATCH the video or READ along, you’ll find a transcript down below.

If you’d like to support the show, share this link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

Hey, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #72 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better.

Today, I’ve got a little story for you. I got called out for a fight. It’s kind of a silly story, but it raises a serious question. Are you ready to fight? I mean, for real. I’ll tell you that story and share some thoughts right after this, but, spoiler alert, I’m just fine.

Okay, our story begins right here. I’m standing in a location of Dawn Barnes’ Karate Kids here in Los Angeles. In case you didn’t know, this is where I’ve been working for over 13 years, helping kids be their best through martial arts. It’s the kind of program I wish I had access to when I was a kid.

On this particular day, which is only a couple of days ago, I was sitting right here at this table. The front door is wide open. We’ve got a sign outside with some balloons floating around. And I have a coworker sitting over here at her desk. She’s also on her computer. That’s when a fellow bounces in the door.

He’s about 22, 23, and I would just describe him as kind of a hipster. Not homeless, but a hipster. He had kind of a cool beret, kango hat on, ear buds, holding a coffee drink. His shirt matched his shoes. It’s well put together.

So he bounces in the door and he looks around and he says, Oh, cool Karate. I like Karate. You guys do Karate here? Keep in mind, there’s a huge sign outside and it’s on the door, so, Yeah, we do Karate here.

My coworker speaks to him first and she says, Yeah, can I help you? And he says, Oh, I really like Karate and I’m interested in classes. So I step in and I say, Well, once you start shaving, you’re a little old for what we do here. And he says, No man, I don’t mean taking classes. I’m interested in teaching classes.

Oh, okay, so context shift. In my brain now, I’m thinking like, Okay, was this the kind of guy I can hire? It’s kind of an odd first impression, the way he bounced in, but maybe he’s just an artsy guy. Maybe he’s great with kids. So, all right, I’ll play along.

So first question, I say, Oh, okay. Well, what’s your background? What styles have you studied? He says, Oh, everything.

Okay, pause the story. Everything. First off, the guy is 22, 23, tops. But even if you’re 122 or 123, that’s just the wrong answer, right? Studying everything. All right, anyway, back to the story.

So I say, Everything, huh? And he says, Oh, yeah. Boxing, jiu-jitsu, but mostly Jeet Kune Do.

Jeet Kune Do. So I say, Oh, well, that’s kind of everything. He says, Well, that just shows you know nothing about Jeet Kune Do, because Jeet Kune Do studies everything.

All right, pause the story again. I don’t want to get into this whole thing, but Jeet Kune Do, the way I understood it– even though I know it’s been kind of standardized in some places and seems like it’s a style of its own nowadays– in the original spirit of it, it seemed like Bruce Lee was just trying to say, Do your own thing wherever that leads you.

Doesn’t mean you have to study everything. You just do your thing. It’s just a name. Don’t fuss over it. That whole idea. But I don’t want to get into all that argument with this guy. So anyway, back to the story.

Next question. I ask, Have you ever taught kids before? He says, Yeah. I say, Great. What ages? He says, Oh, you know, 16, 17, 18. And I said, Oh, that’s kind of a bummer, because by the time you get to high school, you’re kind of done with this place. I mean, look around. We have kites on the ceiling.

And he says, Oh, yeah, that’s pretty young. He said, I can’t teach kids that young what I do. I say, What do you mean? He goes, Well, it’s Jeet Kune Do. I mean, everything is just lethal street defense. I mean, I can’t teach kids that. It’s so ugly, I couldn’t teach that. But maybe I could teach kicks. He goes, I’m not great at them, but I could probably teach the little kids kicks.

And I said, Well, you don’t have to make up anything. We have a whole curriculum here. We already have this all kind of worked out, but I’m glad to hear you’d be willing to teach kicks. He goes, Yeah, because I can’t teach the other stuff.

And I, at this point, understand that this is not going to work out as far as hiring him. And I let him know that I say, You know, I don’t think we’re on the same page, but thanks for coming in. And he’s not convinced that this is a done deal yet. So he keeps going…

And he’s starting to talk to me about the philosophy of martial arts, and why what he’s doing has got great value, and there’s got to be a way for him to be able to teach what he’s doing to these little kids, and– you know, at this point in my life, I’ve learned that if someone is a little nutty, and at this point he’s gone over that line a bit, it’s better just to let them talk, let them have their say, let them be heard. I can take that for a couple of minutes. Maybe I’ll learn something in the process. No harm done. I can do that. Because then usually they feel good. And so I do.

I let him go, and he’s telling me about martial arts, not realizing that maybe I have a head start on him, and I have some knowledge about this stuff too. But I let him go. And he keeps going on and on. And he’s preaching to me about what he believes and what martial arts is all about. And by the end of it, I’m still smiling. I’m very patient. I promise you, I’m not looking for trouble with this guy.

I say, Well, that’s all great, and I wish you well, but really, I don’t think we’re on the same page here. I don’t think you have the experience we’re looking for. But thanks for coming in. And that pretty much, that was the end of the nice stuff.

He got flustered by that. So he starts backing up a little bit, and he goes, Hey, why don’t we just settle this? Your Karate versus my Jeet Kune Do. Let’s just fight. And I said, Well, look, man, I’m not going to fight you. He goes, No, let’s just go in there. Let’s just settle it. Come on.

No, I said, I just want peace here, man. I’m not looking for trouble. So he got a little more aggressive after that. He said, Come on, what are you, a BEEP? Come on, don’t be a BEEP. Just come on, let’s fight. And I said, No, man. Hey, man, just peace. I just want peace.

Now I’m kind of walking him towards the door, kind of backing him out. And he is backing out. So I get him outside the door. And there’s a middle-aged woman out there. She’s walking her dog. And he’s appealing to her. He’s like, Look at this guy. Blah, blah, blah, pretending to be all nice. He’s so passive aggressive. Look at this guy.

And I said, something– kind of wise guy– I’m like, Oh, passive aggressive. I said, Well, that’s better than being aggressive aggressive. You actually just want to fight.

And as a weird side note, the middle-aged woman immediately assessed the situation and said, Well, he, meaning me, he seems to be very calm and you seem very angry. So she kind of took my side.

Anyway, he saw this wasn’t going anywhere, so he kind of threw up his hands and he walked off down the street. I looked over at my co-worker and we couldn’t believe what had just happened. And I looked down the street. He had walked off.

Went back to my computer work, and a few minutes later, he walked by again, just kind of waving his arms, like, What’s up? And I haven’t seen him since. And hopefully I never do. Again, no ill will towards him. I wish you well, sir, if you’re seeing this video. But like I said, we’re just not on the same page. This wouldn’t be a good fit.

Okay, but that brings us now, my silly little story, to the big serious question…

Like I said, I was sitting over here at this table and my head was completely at work, thinking about kid art, graphics, hunched over a computer. So my head was very far away from having a young adult come in and challenge me to a fight and maybe, within a second, being on the ground, rolling around or getting my head slammed into a wall, or slamming his head into a wall.

How long does it take you to go from your normal life, whatever you’re doing right now, to fighting for your life? Normal life to fighting for your life. Because to me, that reveals a lot about your training and about how you see yourself as a martial artist.

I remember something that my first Karate teacher told me. He said, Hey, if you want Karate to be with you all the time, then you have to practice it all the time. If you want Karate to be with you everywhere you go, then you have to be training everywhere you go.

That’s a pretty big point, don’t you think? That’s the difference between training martial arts as an activity, something you do once or twice a week, and living martial arts as a lifestyle.

It’s very simple when you go to a class, let’s say, and you have time to prepare for that. Okay, I’m going to go fight. Mondays and Wednesdays from 7 to 8.30, I have this class and I can eat to prepare for that. I can dress a certain way. I can warm up a certain way. I can prepare myself a certain way. I can review my notes. I’m ready to fight.

But then what happens when you leave class? I think for a lot of martial artists, that’s something that you just leave behind. You stop being a martial artist for a moment or two. You just kind of drift into your normal life as if you hadn’t even been to your school. And you just hope that it’ll be there if you need it sometime.

But I don’t think that’s how it works. Not at its best. Maybe if you have time to prepare, then you could pull up some skills and get ready to fight. But I think for most of us, you’re going to get caught off guard. Just like this guy walking in. I wasn’t looking for that fight.

Or if you remember a couple episodes ago, and I told you about my wife and I tackling that thief, we weren’t given any warning for that. One minute you’re holding hands, the next minute you’re chasing down a bad guy. And when I think back to any type of harassment I’ve ever received, or seen knives get pulled, any of those situations, any emergency, there’s usually no warning for that.

I only say usually because, you know, maybe back in high school, there’d be some guy, Oh, that guy’s going to beat you up after school. Watch out. Blah, blah, blah. So maybe there’d be some inkling in your head that, Oh, I know who I’m going to be fighting, and I know when it’s going to probably happen, and where it’s going to happen. So you have a vague idea of bad stuff coming. But most life doesn’t work like that.

You don’t know. Which means, you have to be prepared everywhere and at all times.

Now that could sound a little bit paranoid, but I don’t mean it like that. Because again, if it’s just part of your lifestyle to have good posture, to be breathing, to be stretching, to move your body, to feel that you have not, you’re not carrying too many things around, either physically or mentally, these are just habits that if you make part of your life, it’s not paranoid, it’s just preparation. It’s just who you are.

For example, when I told you that story about chasing down that thief, one little detail I think I forgot to mention was once I found myself on the ground with that guy, I noticed that one of my sneakers had popped off. How did that happen? Because during the movie– we had just come out of the movie theater– I had loosened up my sneakers. They were a little tight. I wanted to relax. It was a long movie, so I had loosened up my sneakers. And when we left the theater, I forgot to tighten them back up.

Same thing on a plane I often loosen my sneakers on a plane, because your feet swell, I heard, and then I usually tighten them up before I leave the plane. But in this case, I had forgotten. So now I’m running through this parking lot, and when I get this guy, my sneaker had popped off, which might have put me at a disadvantage, right?

If I didn’t have as much traction on the ground as he did, I’d be sliding around, and that’s not ideal. Or if I wanted to kick with that foot, that would not have been ideal. So that’d be one simple example of how if I had been more in a preparation mindset, I would have been better prepared for that situation. Thankfully, it turned out okay.

In the same way, when I started martial arts back in my teens, I never again bought a pair of pants that I can’t run in or kick in. Are you the same? I’m not kidding. I mean, I will, if I try on a pair of pants, the first thing I do is to see if I can lift up my leg. That’s the first thing I do. And then I squat down to see if I can get down low. Because I already know, not from a paranoia standpoint, just from a life experience standpoint, that you never know when you’re going to need to run. You never know when you’re going to need to be able to kick. And I don’t want my shoes flying off, I don’t want my pants holding me back, I don’t want my shirt holding me back.

That’s why I don’t wear flip flops, I don’t wear dangling jewelry, I don’t have piercings, I don’t believe in long hair, I don’t believe in hoodies. I don’t want to wear anything that can be used against me.

Does that sound paranoid? I really don’t think it is. I think it’s just common sense if you’re a martial artist. Alright, so this is the big question.

Are you living a martial arts lifestyle?

Let me give you another example. As I said, I was sitting at this table, and my head was in this graphics project. But here’s what you don’t know. Even though I had been working over there for, I don’t know, an hour and a half on a couple of different projects, and my head was in the business of helping the school keep going, every time I would hit a creative block, whether I was typing up an email or creating the graphics, instead of just staring at the computer and staying hunched over and leaving my brain stuck there, I have a habit of getting up.

While I’m thinking, maybe I’m swinging my arms, maybe I’ll drop and do ten push-ups, maybe I’ll get into a squat and loosen up my back, then I come back and continue with the project. So generally speaking, I try to move between: am I feeling powerful, am I feeling comfortable and what’s this work I have to keep working on?

And I think it actually helps, because sometimes when you get stuck in a project– just as a little life tip– a work tip, a productivity tip, when you get stuck on a project, because you’re looking at it one way, literally just by standing up and thinking about it from a different angle or moving your blood around or having a different sensation, it kind of frees things up and maybe you come back to that project with a better idea or at least a different idea.

So I recommend taking these little physical breaks anyway. Just for the creative side of things. But certainly as a martial artist, it’s helpful just on the physical side of things. That you’re constantly tuning back into your body. You’re feeling the ground. I’m adjusting myself just to make sure I’m ready for anything. Because isn’t that the point?

Let me back up a second. Remember when I said you go to class and you have that time to prepare? Well, why are you going to that class in the first place? Aren’t you going there for some type of transformation? Wasn’t that the whole point? Aren’t you there to change your life somehow? Hopefully for the better, presumably.

So let’s say this. Let’s say you go to class and maybe you’ve been having a rough day. Maybe you love martial arts class because that’s the one place where you can feel comfortable yelling with your full voice. You get pushed to use your full physicality. You breathe deeper than you’ve breathed all day. You are more brave. You’re more courageous.

You’re sparring or you’re rolling and you’re getting pushed. And you not only reveal your true power, you get to develop your true power. Isn’t that the beauty of a martial arts class? Maybe more than any other activity in the world. At least that’s what I believe.

That martial arts class gives you the chance to be the most powerful version of yourself possible. But what happens right after class? If you leave the best version of you in the classroom, then you’ve just made a complete loss of the whole experience, right? You’ve blown it.

The point is to develop your best person and then take that version of you with you outside into the real world. That’s the point.

It would be like you go shopping at the supermarket. You need food. You have nothing at home. So you go to the supermarket. You spend a half an hour filling up your cart with this. You make all these careful selections. Do I want that? Gluten free this? Blah, blah, blah. Low sodium that? Blah, blah, blah.

You have this great shopping cart. And then you just leave it. You walk out. You don’t buy any of it. Now you go home again and you’re like, man, I’m starving. I wish I had some food. That makes no sense, right? That’s a huge waste of time. And now you have nothing.

Martial arts class or martial arts training is exactly the same thing. You’re spending all of this time. And you’re filling up yourself with, Oh, this is me at my bravest. Oh, this is me getting stronger. Oh, this is me being creative and being powerful. Now you gotta take that home.

You buy all of those things by sweat and by work and by coming back honestly and saying, what do I need to get better at? Where am I failing? How can I improve?

Once you buy that stuff with your hard work, you take it home. You take it to work. You take it into the community. That’s where you can eat from it. That’s where you can sustain yourself. That’s where you can move ahead.

So I’m wondering if you’re doing that, what parts of your life are directly influenced by your martial arts training? And where do you have no connection whatsoever? Are you bringing the best of you into your work, into your relationships, into your business? Or is martial arts just that little thing you do once in a while to kind of feel good?

I’m begging you. Martial arts is powerful, not just as physical exercise, but as therapy, but as a journey into self-knowledge, as a journey into being the best version of yourself possible. So use it. Take it with you. Carry it with you.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not just talking about fighting here. I don’t want to give that impression, because to me, martial arts is a lot more than just being able to fight. Are you also ready at any moment, everywhere you go, at any time with anyone, are you ready to forgive?

Are you ready to help somebody? Are you ready to love someone? Are you ready to make a friend? That’s the full project of martial arts, right? You have the power to hurt someone or the power to heal someone. You have the power to be frightening and destructive, or you have the power to be friendly and constructive.

So when I say that you reveal your true self in a martial arts class or during your training, and that you develop your true powers, your full powers in your training, it’s not just your destructive powers– your ability to fight somebody– it’s also your ability to control your anger, to become more patient, to be kinder, to manage your relationships well so that people aren’t always offended when they talk to you, or that you feel offended when you talk to someone.

Isn’t that part of the martial arts project? To me, it absolutely is. If you can’t control your weapons, then I don’t want you to have weapons. I need you to be responsible with them, right?

When you take your full powers with you, out of your training and into the real world, now you have the ability not just to fight for yourself, but to fight for your friends, fight for your family, fight for anyone on Team Good Guys who needs you. You also have the ability to help anyone who needs your help. You have the ability to love someone who no one else is loving.

That is real power. You have the choices. You have the options of someone who is confident enough to do whatever you need to do to make a situation right.

Could I have accepted this guy’s challenge and fought him and tested my Karate versus his Jeet Kune Do? Absolutely. Would that have made the world a better place? I don’t think so. That’s just my call. Maybe you’d vote differently.

Maybe you’d say, you know what, that guy just needs a punch in the face and he would learn a little humility. I get that. There was a time when I needed a good punch in the face to learn a little humility. So I understand. But in this case, my choice, I was very proud of myself to have a choice.

When a young guy comes up to you and says he wants to fight, it would be very easy for this old guy to say, Oh, yeah? Okay, you’re a tiger cub. I’ll show you what the old great silver tiger’s got. But I didn’t. Because I’ve been around. I’m not looking for a fight or a lawsuit. Certainly not while I’m on the job. Put the whole company into trouble.

No, I could see other options. I could feel sorry for him a little bit. Or I could kind of see a bit of myself in this guy. This is what wisdom brings you. A perspective. Another way of looking at things. Not just sitting at the computer, but getting up and looking at the computer. Spinning around and coming back to the computer.

This is what training gives you. A way to see yourself in different positions, literally and figuratively. You get to see yourself winning. You get to see yourself losing. You see yourself in pain. And you see yourself causing pain. And in that way, you get to learn everything you need to know about yourself. So that when you’re in any situation, hopefully you can figure out the right way to either make peace or to put down violence. That to me is the whole goal here. To be a complete martial artist and to be a complete human being.

Please don’t forget, martial arts is only a part of your life, right? Even if it’s part of your lifestyle, it’s part of your life. If you had to stop going to your class, you’re still a person. You’re a person first. The martial arts is your tool to help you develop as a person. So the question is, how are you developing? And as you’re developing, are you bringing the benefits, the rewards of all that hard work with you?

Can people tell that you’re a martial artist, or that you have at least done the work to know yourself? Can they sense your patience? Can they sense your strength? Can they sense that you are ready to help? Can they sense that you’re ready to fight?

My challenge to you is to take a look at your life and ask yourself, am I just a martial artist during class? Am I just a martial artist a couple times a week for a couple hours? Or am I a martial artist everywhere I go? Is that a tool that I use to develop myself and reveal myself at all times with everyone everywhere I go?

I hope that you are making martial arts part of your whole life, part of your whole experience here. And I want you to look at what you’re doing today. What are you wearing? Is that you at your full power?

What are you thinking? Are the thoughts in your head helping you maintain the sense of power that you feel during class?

Who are you hanging out with? Are they bringing out the best in you?

What do you do for a living? Is that satisfying to you? Do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel like you’re making a difference?

Anything that is not helping you reveal your true nature or develop your true power, I would consider cutting out of your life. You can learn a lesson from it. The adversity is good for you, but at some point it becomes toxic if you’re not managing it, if you’re not controlling it. And if you find these gaps in your life where there are things that are holding you back or limiting your power, then I encourage you to add some things into those gaps.

Start finding little times when you can take a breath, when you can stand up a little straighter, when you can sneak off and do ten punches in the corner, when you can think something, remember something that happened in class that made you feel tough and strong and brave and carry that feeling back with you into a meeting, into a date. Because if you don’t do those things, your training is essentially worthless. The point of your training is to affect the rest of your life.

So if you’re not ready to fight anywhere anytime, if you’re not ready to help anywhere anytime, then you’re not only letting yourself down, you’re letting your friends down, you’re letting your family down, you’re letting Team Good Guys down. In that way, you’re letting the whole world down. So, my friend, get ready to fight.

All right, that’s all I have to say for now, but you know me. I’ll probably have more to say about something else later on, so stay tuned for that. If you enjoyed today’s episode, thanks for sharing it with a friend. That means a lot to me.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #72: Are You Ready to Fight? [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.