Fighting for Heart

 Most people are under-resourced, but the problem is they don’t know what they want and need or how to ask for it. A meaningful life requires overcoming these challenges and finding the support of a tribe. 

The Personal Circle is an intentional gathering of people who have already invested in your life to the extent that trust has been established.  Who loves you for you? Who offers wisdom and perspective? Who brings your strategic insight and advice? Who fights for you?

Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength-Starters, are the four types of people we desperately need at our table. These people can help you take stock of your life, recognize the wonders and shadows you carry, and energize your mission, purpose, and calling. 

We all want a meaningful life but are becoming less willing to wait patiently. We are impulsive and fixated on the instant hit of endorphins, more so the substance of character. Meaning requires a developmental mindset, and that takes time. You cannot microwave the deep life. We also never know which moments may become a significant one, so we have to become more intentional more often. A meaningful life is costly, so draw courage, find your tribe, and start showing up! 

Have you ever been distanced or cut off by a family member, friend, or community without notice or choice? Or maybe you have done so to someone yourself. Of course, you have! We often use unhealthy Distance and Cutoffs to manage the fears, anxiety, and insecurities that arise in relational or communal systems. We find ways to self-justify our distance. We confuse boundaries without our behavior. And we find it easier to walk away than to move through. 

While these strategies may offer temporary relief, they will stunt and undermine the opportunity we have to become more resilient, courageous, and connected humans. Those seeking to reach for a meaningful and purposeful life must learn how to do things differently in relationships. 

Many of us learned how to find safety and healing for the inevitable wounds of life by being more defensive, independent, or self-sufficient. To live a meaningful life requires letting down the drawbridge, coming out of the fortress at some point, and courageously reaching for interdependence with others.

While Denial, Distraction, and Determination have become our three primary strategies for survival, they also lull us to sleep and threaten our futures. In this episode, we explore how the lens of "You, Me, Us" can offer a way to see our lives with others and help negotiate for the things that matter. 

Most people want to live a meaningful life, but there is often a gap between this hope and the reality of how they feel and what they do.  If you are tired, exhausted, and overwhelmed by the hustle and grind, you are not alone. 

Let's explore how to make more sense of our lives, stories, and purpose in the world. In this season, let's highlight and face the threats and challenges that stand in our way. 

If you become aware of a lack of clarity around your meaning, don’t worry. This truth is equally important. Far better to notice and attend to this need than to blunder ahead and lead blindly. 

You don’t hear people on their deathbeds talking about the extra money they didn’t make or projects they didn’t complete. With our last breath on this planet, we want to know that we fought hard and lived deeply. We want to know that our lives mattered. That people will give a damn when we are gone because we meant so much to them.  

Bringing the Big Twelve to a close, Rob and Natalie spend time talking about feeling sad, calm, and lonely. What if sadness led to acceptance and hope instead of self-pity and lethargy? What if calmness opened the door to clarity and peace instead of avoidance or apathy? What if loneliness invited connection and solitude instead of withdrawal and isolation? Join us as we become more heart-engaged and emotionally intelligent. 

In this episode, we explore three more of the twelve emotions. Rob and Natalie cover the feeling of shame and how it can lead you towards being human or being in contempt of being human. Cared-for can be more complicated than you think, and feeling hurt doesn't feel very good for most adults. Keep listening, and let's keep learning!

Once we learn to understand and use the same words to describe our "insides," relationships can soar to new heights. I feel, you feel, we all feel for ice cream. Jump in and journey with us. Keep leaning in. I know this is a lot, but you're gaining altitude, and the learning will invite practice, and that practice will impact both your performance and your quality of life.

Core Emotions and affect labeling have been used in varying numbers and forms throughout history. Join Rob and Natalie as they introduce the first three of twelve feelings (afraid, confident, lost) to offer you a starting point. Once we start to use the same words and subscribe to the same rules of engagement, our emotional intelligence takes on new energy and potential.

Organizations remain dedicated to elevating valid topics like vision, mission, strategy, and operations, but it’s time to seriously consider including a process that engages and integrates all the parts of who we are as humans.