FILTHY @ FIVE (FILTHY FELLAS)

THE WORLD CUP IS OVER AND, WITH INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL FINALLY TAKING A BREAK, WE CAN ALL CATCH OUR BREATH... ALTHOUGH ONLY UNTIL 21ST SEPTEMBER, WHICH IS OUTRAGEOUS IN ITSELF.

THIS WEEK, WE BAND TOGETHER TO TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK AT OURSELVES AND REALISE WE DESPERATELY NEED A PRE-SEASON OF OUR OWN, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO OUR ETIQUETTE. CAN WE TURN THINGS AROUND FOR THE NEW SEASON? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

WE ALSO COVER A HOST OF MAJOR TRANSFER STORIES THAT HAVE DOMINATED THE HEADLINES SINCE THE WORLD CUP, INCLUDING CHELSEA HIJACKING ARSENAL'S MOVE FOR MORGAN ROGERS.

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THE WORLD CUP IS FINALLY OVER.

THE STAGE WAS SET FOR A FINAL OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!

ARGENTINA VS SPAIN.

MESSI VS THE MAN HE CHRISTENED WAY BACK IN 2007... LAMINE YAMAL.

BUT, IN THE END, NEITHER OF THEM DELIVERED... IT WAS A BLAND FINAL. THE HALF-TIME SHOW WAS MORE ENTERTAINING... EVEN ENGLAND VS FRANCE IN THE THIRD-PLACE PLAYOFF WAS MORE ENTERTAINING...

AT THE END OF IT ALL, KYLIAN MBAPPÉ BECAME THE WORLD CUP'S ALL-TIME LEADING SCORER.

CONTROVERSIAL? SOME MIGHT SAY.

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IT'S OFFICIAL. THE BEST FOUR TEAMS ARE LEFT AT THE WORLD CUP: ARGENTINA, FRANCE, SPAIN AND ENGLAND.

WITH TWO MOUTHWATERING SEMI-FINALS AHEAD, SPAIN VS FRANCE AND ENGLAND VS ARGENTINA, THE STAGE IS SET FOR WHAT PROMISES TO BE AN UNFORGETTABLE FINISH, WITH BOTH THE FINAL AND THE THIRD-PLACE PLAY-OFF STILL TO COME.

CAN FRANCE'S RUTHLESS EFFICIENCY DISMANTLE SPAIN'S POSSESSION-DOMINANT STYLE?

CAN ENGLAND'S MENTALITY MONSTERS FINALLY BRING DOWN ARGENTINA AND THE GOAT?

AND PERHAPS THE BIGGEST QUESTION OF ALL... WILL LOONS GET OVER HIS TANTRUM?!

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WE'RE BACK DOWN TO THREE AGAIN... AS SOME OF THE BOYS ARE HEADING BACK OUT TO THE USA.

WE SAY GOODBYE TO CRISTIANO RONALDO AND PORTUGAL IN WHAT IS LIKELY TO BE HIS LAST WORLD CUP, HAVING SCORED JUST ONE KNOCKOUT GOAL ACROSS SIX WORLD CUPS. STINKY.

MESSI AND ARGENTINA PULL OFF AN INCREDIBLE COMEBACK AGAINST AN EGYPT SIDE THAT HAD ONLY EVER WON ONE WORLD CUP MATCH, DOING SO IN SOMEWHAT "CONTROVERSIAL" FASHION.

MBAPPÉ HAS THE WORLD TALKING AS FRANCE FACE OFF AGAINST RIGHT-WING POLITICIAN CELESTE AMARILLA. FRANCE ALSO DRAW LEVEL WITH MESSI AS THE TOURNAMENT'S JOINT TOP GOALSCORERS AND BECOME THE FIRST TEAM TO REACH THE SEMI-FINALS.

AND FINALLY, ENGLAND AND KANE FACE OFF AGAINST NORWAY AND HAALAND IN WHAT'S SET TO BE AN ALL-TIMER... WHO WILL COME OUT VICTORIOUS IN THE ANGLO-NORDIC DERBY?!

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THIS WEEK WE WELCOME NIGERIAN ARTIST RUGER AS HE HELPS US BREAK DOWN THE WEEKEND'S WORLD CUP MADNESS, STARTING WITH ENGLAND'S COLOSSAL WIN AT THE AZTECA AGAINST CO-HOSTS MEXICO. JUDE STOLE THE SHOW, AND WELL, JORDAN HENDERSON ALSO DID... BUT FOR VERY DIFFERENT REASONS. WAS A LITTLE BLUE PILL THE REASON BEHIND ENGLAND'S SUCCESS?!

THIS WORLD CUP HAS BEEN FUELLED BY CONTROVERSY, AND THE US OF A DIDN'T HELP ITSELF ANY FURTHER AS TRUMP PULLED THE TRUMP CARD TO ALLOW BALOGUN TO PLAY AGAINST BELGIUM.

IS LIONEL MESSI A GENIUS? IS MBAPPE ONE TOO?

AND NORWAY TEE UP AN EPIC TIE WITH ENGLAND AS THEY MAKE LIGHT WORK OF A FALTERING BRAZIL.

LET'S GO!

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GERMANY ARE OUT OF THE WORLD CUP! 

JURGEN KLOPP LOOKS SET TO REPLACE NAGELSMANN AS GERMANY'S HEAD COACH, AND IN HIS POST-MATCH INTERVIEW HE MANAGED TO RATTLE A FEW ARSENAL FANS...

FRANCE AND MBAPPÉ CRUISE INTO THE NEXT ROUND, AND IT HAS EVERYONE ASKING: ARE THEY THE GREATEST WORLD CUP TEAM WE'VE EVER SEEN?!

ENGLAND... THEY STILL LOOK FLAT, BUT THEY'VE PROGRESSED. NOW COMES A DAUNTING TASK: A LAST-16 CLASH AGAINST CO-HOSTS MEXICO AT THE AZTECA STADIUM.

HARRY KANE STILL SEEMS TO BE ENGLAND'S ANSWER TO EVERY PROBLEM AT THE MINUTE, ALTHOUGH MEXICO'S HEIGHT AND EXPANSIVE STYLE MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK IN ENGLAND'S FAVOUR...

OH, AND THE PREMIER LEAGUE IS NEARLY BACK... AND SP*RS ARE GOING ABSOLUTELY MAD IN THE TRANSFER WINDOW.

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WE HAVE A FULL PANEL! 

HARRY KANE BECOMES ENGLAND’S ALL-TIME TOP SCORER AT WORLD CUPS, BUT ENGLAND HAVE A PROBLEM… WHO WILL REPLACE HIM WHEN HE FINALLY DECIDES TO CALL IT A DAY. WILL HE BE AT THE NEXT WORLD CUP?! 

ENGLAND HAVE HAD TO ADAPT TO PLAYING “SMALLER TEAMS” WITHOUT THEIR USUAL CREATORS, SO ARE WE ABOUT TO SEE THE SAME AGAIN FROM ENGLAND AS THEY PREPARE TO FACE OFF AGAINST DR CONGO? AND SHOULD THEY MAKE IT THROUGH, IS THE ENGLAND SETUP BETTER SUITED TO TAKE ON MORE EXPANSIVE FOOTBALLING TEAMS?! 

AND IT’S NEVER HAPPENED IN 96 YEARS OF THE COMPETITION, BUT DO WE THINK A TEAM OUTSIDE OF EUROPE OR SOUTH AMERICA CAN WIN THE WORLD CUP? 

THE GAME IS FORVER EVOLVING BUT TWO HOUSEHOLDS NAMES ARE STILL COMPETITING ON THE WORLDS BIGGGEST STAGE ONE IS TOP GOALSCOEREr AND THE OTHER HAS MANAGED A BRACE AGAINST A PLUMBER, DOES THE GOAT DEBATE HAVE TO BE PUT TO BED? 

AND ELLIOT ANDERSON BECOMES THE MOST EXPENSIVE ENGLISH PLAYER AND SECOND HIHHEST PL SIGNING OF ALL-TIME… CAN HE LIVE UP TO THE PRICE TAG?! 

ALL THIS AND MORE ON THIS WEEKS FILTHY @ FIVE.  

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FILTHY @ FIVE IS BACK AND MARGS IS BACK AND TRIOS ARE BACK.

IT’S BEEN A CRAZY WEEK AT THE WORLD CUP, WITH ALL SORTS OF RECORDS BEING BROKEN. NAMELY, COUGH MESSI BECOMING THE ALL-TIME TOP SCORER AT WORLD CUPS.

MBAPPÉ HAS ALREADY EQUALLED KLOSE’S RECORD, AND THE ALL-TIME GOALSCORING RECORD COULD BE BROKEN AT ANY MOMENT. OWEN GOAL HAS FEATURED PROMINENTLY THIS WORLD CUP, ALREADY HITTING DOUBLE FIGURES TO LEAD THE GOALSCORING CHARTS, AND IS LIKELY TO BREAK THE RECORD OF 12 GOALS IN A SINGLE TOURNAMENT.

WE CATCH UP WITH THE EN-GER-LAND LOT AND ASK WHY THEY’RE NOT TICKING AND WHAT THEY NEED TO DO TO FIX IT.

AND REMEMBER, IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE WORLD CUP. FOOTBALL MUST GO ON… SO WE RUN DOWN THE LATEST TRANSFER NEWS EMERGING FROM THE PREMIER LEAGUE.

LAST THING… WHY ON EARTH IS THE TEAMS’ ENTRANCE MUSIC DIDDY MUSIC?

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ENGLAND CAN QUALIFY FOR THE KNOCKOUTS IF THEY BEAT GHANA TONIGHT AND WILL LIKELY FINISH TOP OF THEIR GROUP.

SHOULD TUCHEL STICK OR TWIST WITH HIS TEAM SELECTION? RICE, MAYBE? RASHFORD, FOR SURE?

CURAÇAO PICK UP A POINT AND GET THEIR FIRST-EVER WORLD CUP POINT WHILST SCORING THEIR FIRST TWO GOALS, AND CAPE VERDE PULL OFF ANOTHER DRAW, MEANING THEY'RE UNDEFEATED IN THEIR FIRST-EVER WORLD CUP GAMES... THE TRUE UNDERDOGS OF THIS WORLD CUP. CAN THEY MAKE THE KNOCKOUTS?!

THERE HAVE BEEN LOTS OF GOALS THIS TOURNAMENT, BUT IT'S JUST NOT CLICKING FOR THE LAST OF BELGIUM'S GOLDEN GENERATION.

AND CRISTIANO RONALDO AND PORTUGAL NEED A WIN TONIGHT AGAINST UZBEKISTAN... BUT IS REMOVING RONALDO FROM THE EQUATION THE ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM?!

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WITH THE MAJORITY OF THE TEAM IN THE USA AND ELSEWHERE, THE TEAM HAS BEEN REDUCED TO JUST THREE MEMBERS AS ENGLAND GET THEIR WORLD CUP CAMPAIGN OFF TO A FLYER, DESTROYING CROATIA 4–2.

ELSEWHERE, THE POLITICS AT THIS WORLD CUP ARE HEATING UP, BUT JAPAN AND SCOTLAND SHOWED THE USA WHAT RESPECT IS REALLY ABOUT.

FRANCE ALSO GOT OFF TO A FLYING START, WITH MBAPPÉ STEALING THE SHOW. HE'S NOT FAR OFF THE WORLD CUP GOALSCORING RECORD EITHER... BUT IT LOOKS LIKE MESSI WILL BREAK THAT, AS HE EQUALS KLOSE'S RECORD OF 16 WITH A HAT-TRICK AGAINST ALGERIA...

AND IT LOOKS LIKE PORTUGAL MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM... AND IT MIGHT BE CRISTIANO RONALDO.