Many of us find comfort within our church community, especially when we’re at a difficult time in our lives. For Sandy Phillips Kirkham, what was a place of warmth became a place of intense trauma when she was 16 years old.

In this episode, she sits down with Irene Weinberg to talk about her award-winning book, Let Me Prey Upon You, in which she details how a charismatic youth mister preyed upon her, betrayed her, left her broken with a shattered faith, and brought about the ultimate shame of being blamed and forced from the church she loved. 

Sandy also describes her healing journey that began when she confronted the minister during her quest for justice and closure 27 years after his heinous behavior began. Now an advocate for other victims of clergy sexual abuse and child abuse, Sandy’s riveting, important story about dreadful clergy abuse is more than a story of intense trauma; it is an important story about healing and rebirth.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE:

• How a charismatic youth minister targeted an innocent 16-year-old and preyed upon her.
• How grooming sets a victim up to accept unusual behaviors.
• How the minister established control over Sandy and manipulated her. 
• How Sandy eventually broke away from her abuser. 
• Sandy’s husband’s reaction when he learned about the degrading abuse Sandy had hidden from him for 27 years.
• The difference in perspective when the abuser is Catholic or non-Catholic. 
• How the ministry called Hope of Survivors is helping victims of clergy sexual abuse.
• How Sandy eventually forgave both herself and her abuser.
• How Sandy’s confrontation with her abuser came about.

SOME QUESTIONS IRENE ASKS SANDY:

• What made you a vulnerable target for your youth minister, who was a charismatic wolf in sheep’s clothing?
• In what ways did your youth minister target you, groom you, and prey upon you when you were an innocent 16-year-old girl?
• How did understanding the terms love bombing, grooming, gaslighting, and manipulation allow you to begin your healing process?
• How did you eventually break away from your abuser?
• Please tell us about the people who believed you, believed in you, and supported you as you journeyed toward healing and resolution.
• How did your confrontation with your abuser come about?
• What is the impact spiritually when abuse occurs within the church?
• How were you able to eventually forgive yourself and your abuser?
• What inspired you to become an advocate for a ministry called The Hope for Survivors?
• What is your message about the importance of healing?
• Abuse forever changes a person and healing takes time. Can there be joy again?