Finding Joy in Your Home

Technology hasn't yet been the biggest concern for our family since our kids have been so young. We don't (yet) have teenagers wanting to play video games at all hours of the day, we don't have devices for the kids that we need to monitor, and they never watch or access anything we don't know about. 

But our oldest twins just turned 5 in December and we can see that world looming closer to us. Plus, Jason and I always need to check our technology usage and we can always do with healthier media and technology standards. 

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So in August, Jason and I both read a book called The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place. I also recently read a book called 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You (which happens to be the free book on Christian Audio in January)! I wish I had waited to buy the book.

Both books cover similar ideas and they are both convicting in different ways. So much of what Jason and I have been discussing this year about technology comes from these two books. 

There's a lot of reasons to start having these conversations, but one of them is this. When asked "why do they think parenting today is more difficult?" 65% of the test takers said "technology/social media." I would certainly agree with that statement! 

Where the very best of life happens

"Our homes aren't meant to be just refueling stations, places where we and our devices rest briefly, top up our charge, and then go back to frantic activity. They are meant to be places where the very best of life happens." -The Tech-Wise Family Page 29. 

In his book, Andy Crouch discusses 10 wise principles for using technology. There are several of his ideas that stood to us that we are going to be working on (see below). Here are the 10 commitments: 

Ten Tech-Wise Commitments 

We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.

We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.

We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together.

We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.

We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.

We use screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.

Car time is conversation time.

Spouses have one another’s passwords, and parents have total access to children’s devices.

We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.

We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability. We hope to die in one another’s arms.

Commitment #3: 

"So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together."

I talked at length about this one back in episode #99, so hop over to listen to that. We've generally been following that. The one hour a day is no problem at all. In fact, we've been stretching this one further. 

We've declared January TV free for us. It's January 17th as I record this, and we've been perfect on this goal, we've read a lot more, been playing board games together at night and don't miss the TV at all! 

In a lot of ways, 2017 was a tough year. In many other ways, we experienced great blessing in 2017. And as I look forward to 2018, I am happily dreaming and goal setting for what I hope will be a refreshing 12 months. 

You see, my word for 2018 is Refresh. It's coming at the perfect time, and the 12 goals/areas I have attached to my word are already proving to be helpful within my home and my homemaking. 

So throughout all of these discussions, picking words for our year, goal planning, and dreaming of what the future may hold, I first want to take a step back and talk about: what is your ONE THING for 2018? No, I'm not talking about your word for the year, your one goal, or even your Bible verse for this year. 

I'm asking you: What is the one thing you treasure more than anything in 2018?

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You see, we may have many goals and desires for this year. We can plot, plan, and make every schedule under the sun. This can be good and so helpful, like my meal planning January which has already helped me get back to the roots of my meal planning and I'm able to provide healthy meals on a budget to my family once again. It's good and it's so needed right now. 

But if I'm not careful, then I can elevate these goals, these dreams, and these routines too far and they become idols in my heart. They take the place of Jesus in my life. They eclipse the Son. 

This is so easy to do. We end up in survival mode, or we are desperate to reign in our spending, or we want to work hard on our meal planning, or we desire a closer marriage...the list goes all. All of these are good things, worthy of investing our limited time on. But do these things take center stage in our life over God?

My word for 2018 is REFRESH. A big goal of mine this year is physical refreshment. I'm working towards healing some thyroid issues and adrenal fatigue. These issues have caused some major problems in our life as I've been dealing with some major fatigue and weakness. This goal of physical refreshment is a good goal and one I hope to use to bring glory to God and better take care of my family. 

Another goal of refreshment this year is in my relationships. I hope to be able to extend more hospitality, come alongside more women and families with meals, and nurture more one-on-one relationships. I pray and hope that I will be able to use this focus to serve God. 

But it's far too easy for either of these goals, and any others I create, to take center stage.

A note about seasons: I would be remiss if I didn't pause here to mention different seasons in our lives. We walk through certain seasons such as the newborn days, raising a brood of little ones like I am now, illness, grief, and all kinds of other experiences when our physical attention is on these things. When you have a newborn, so much of your care and attention is fixed to caring around the clock for this helpless new babe. Often to the exclusion of many other things in our life. The same goes for times of extreme illness, dealing with the loss of a loved one, and so many other life circumstances. 

Obviously your newborn takes center stage during that time, but our heart and our mind should still belong to God. There's a different between walking through a demanding season and making idols out of those things. Believe me, the line gets blurry and it's easy to confuse the two. It's an easy thing to make your newborn or the illness you are praying so desperately to heal - your idol...

Reading is one of my favorite past times! But I've gone through seasons in the last few years where I haven't read as much as I wanted. 

So in 2017 I set a reading goal for my year for the first time! While I didn't actually reach my insane goal of 104 books, I did end the year with 67 read! And I am just fine with that. 

Out of the 67 books, I read last year, I came across some amazing ones. So here are my top 10 books I read in 2017. 

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My top 10 Books from 2017: 

Refresh: Embracing a Grace-Paced Life in a World of Endless Demands - Shona Murray

I read Refresh near the end of December 2017 and funny enough, I had already picked it as my word for 2018! So this book was a perfect fit for me as I was contemplating what my year of REFRESHMENT was going to look like. You can read or listen in all about my word for 2018 here. 

This book takes a look at what we do when our lives get too full and too busy. It's full of practical suggestions and ideas, but my favorite part of the book was it's spiritual look at how we run our lives. The author again and again makes the case that we need to rely on God more within our daily lives and less and less upon ourselves. There was a lot in this book that I really needed to hear as I head into 2018. 

The Life Giving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time - Sally Clarkson

The Life Giving Table is a book about hospitality and serving those who eat at your table, particularly your family! There are a loooot of suggestions in this book and I'm only looking at implementing a very small fraction of the ideas for this season of life with little kids. And many of those suggestions I'm modifying even further to make work. 

Sally presents a very ideal look of home and table life and I think it's a great idea to pick and choose which ones will work for your family. I did walk away from reading this book with new found encouragement to make family mealtime special. I interview Sally in the fall about her book. You can listen to that interview here. 

The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place - Andy Crouch

I think this is a must-read book for all families! It's all about healthy and responsible approaches to technology in the home. I think this is a vital message in today's culture and family life and it's only going to get more important as technology integrates itself even more in everyday life. 

While we LOVE technology in our home and even run an online business, balance is the key! We had a lot of good things to think about from this book and several of his suggestions we are incorporating into our family. Jason and I both read the book in August. It was great to get to both read it and discuss it along the way. 

Glory in the Ordinary: Why Your Work in the Home Matters to God - Courtney Reissig

Most of what I do in my home each day is boring and ordinary. I bounce between scrubbing toilets, making dinner, and folding laundry. It's very easy within these routines to wonder, "What's the point in all of this?? Am I really serving God through all this mundane?" 

Courtney beautifully addresses this heart problem and directs us again and again to view our work in light of serving God and His Glory! It's a quick easy read but will give you a lot to think about.  

None Like Him: 10 Ways God Is Different from Us by Jen Wilkin 

This is my fourth year picking a word for the year and I always love this process! It helps me to get laser-focused on the new year and all throughout the year. And once again, I think I've landed on the perfect word for my goals and desires for 2018. 

Here are my past words: 

2012: Intentional

2016: Joy

2017: Create

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2017 brought many joys but it also brought with it a lot of hardship. So while I rejoice and thank God for 2017, I am excited to head into a new year to see what God has in store for us. And all of this has lead to my word for this year. But first, let me explain a little bit about how I got here: 

Our busy 2017: 

2017 started off with a bang! We welcome our sweet Magnolia Rose into our family on January 20th. Less than three weeks after she was born, as we were trying to adjust to life with 5 young kids, my nephew who was 5 months old at the time, was admitted into the PICU with a subcranial hematoma. 

He had surgery on his skull that night and while we are celebrating the fact that he is a happy and healthy 16-month-old today, we had many times over that first week that we didn't think he would make it. And it's been a long year of recovery since then. 

As our year progressed, we battled with food sensitivities with Magnolia. We didn't know what it was at the time but we had a two month stretch of time (3-5 months old) where she screamed nearly around the clock. It was tiring and emotionally draining. Thankfully we got the food sensitivities sorted out and she's one of the happiest children I've ever met - her 1st birthday is next week! 

As our year plugged along, we had joys and tiring time! But God is good and we focus on that. In the Fall of 2017, I started experiencing extreme fatigue. I had days where Jason would let me sleep in, I would get up and move around for a while and have to go back for a nap. 

Sufficient to say, it's hard to get anything done with that degree of fatigue. Finally, we figured out that I have some thyroid problems (which I suspected for a while) and adrenal fatigue (which I was also starting to suspect). I started a whole new line of supplements about 2 months ago and the effect already has been incredible!! 

I'm still very tired and I have better days and I have worse days, but as I focus on my nutrition and health more, it gets better by the day! All glory to God in the process! But this heavily influences my word for this year. 

Then on November 28th, my niece from a different sister, only 5 months old at the time was admitted to the same exact PICU ward that my nephew was in. This time for infant botulism! There are only about 100 cases of infant botulism in the US each year. She doesn't eat food yet and it still remains a mystery how she got it. 

Long story short, they were in the PICU for 3 and a half weeks. They were released 2 days before Christmas and they are al home and doing well! There is still a lot of physical therapy and weight gain that needs to happen, but once again we are praising God for a full recovery! 

I don't list all this out to complain - but rather so that I can look back over a long and exhausting year and see God's grace and His goodness each step of the way! 

Our 2017 Christmas photo!

However, it's also easy to let bitterness and resentment work it's way into my heart. Why can't life calm down for a bit?

I'm so excited to have Jason taking over my blog today. I shared my own 2018 Christian Reading Challenge for Women earlier this week. If you're a man, feel free to follow along with this challenge by yourself OR wrangle your wife into the women's companion challenge to do it with you.

If you are a woman reading this, send over the link to your husband and you can then go through this challenge together! It's a great way to have a built in accountability partner. Many of the books are the same but Jason changed the feminine and homemaking categories to male equivalents. - Jami

Jami and I are both dedicated readers. Reading really just checks all the boxes for me. It's enjoyable, relaxing, entertaining, and educational. I mean, what more could you ask for? Nothing else I can think of does all of that. Anyway, reading is awesome, and I've always wished for more hours in the day that I could devote to reading.

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Jami and I hopped on a podcast episode to share all about the challenge, my tricks for finding the time to read in a busy schedule, a little bit about the books I picked and more! Listen below or keep scrolling down to read all about the challenge. 

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As a husband, dad, and entrepreneur, my time for reading is extremely limited, and I am always looking for ways to help me get more reading in, to blow through more books. Jami and I came up with a year-long reading challenge last year for this very reason, and I am excited to report that it was highly effective in getting me to read more in 2017. So this year, we're doing it again! Welcome to the 2018 Men's Reading Challenge.

Yesterday, Jami posted her reading list, which is geared primarily toward women. So she asked me to put together a companion list to hers that would be more male-oriented. Many of the categories and book recommendations are the same, as there are LOTS of books out there that are great reading for both men and women. But I've tweaked the list to add some books on things like fatherhood, being a husband, etc. 

Also, like Jami's list, I have not included any fiction suggestions in the list. I personally love to read fiction, and would encourage others to as well, but, at least for me, picking up a novel is much easier than digging into a history text or book on theology, and so I tailored the list to non-fiction only. I highly recommend reading some fiction as well, though. Go ahead and add a few novels you've been wanting to read, or, if the 13 or 26 books on the list is already the maximum you want to commit to this year, swap out a few of the categories for fiction, keeping the total count the same. Bottom line, this list and challenge is for you, so don't hesitate to customize it to your liking. As long as it gets you reading, I've done my job.

Download the Toolkit to make it easy: 

Jami created a FREE toolkit to give you all these resources in one handy place. You will get tips and ideas on how to find the time to read as well as the full challenge and a printable sheet to keep track of your reading goals. Download for free below: 

Here's How it Works:

The list is broken into 2 levels:

13 books for the year, which breaks down to 1 book every 4 weeks

26 books for the year, equaling 1 book every 2 weeks.

Jump in on the first 13, and set your own pace. Just stick to level 1 if you don't have a lot of reading time or are new to all this, or blow through level 1 and dive into level 2 midway through the year.

Note: I recommend one particular book for each category in the list, but you can see below that I've included several other books for each categ...